Note: I'm kinda rambling thoughts here so they might not be flowing that well.

So, it's been a couple weeks since I started going to the gym and things have been going well. I've been going every other day, but this week since I've got a bit of a late start at work I've been managing to go every day as I go in the morning while I'm refreshed enough to do so. It also helps that since it's a late shift I don't have to get up incredibly early to fit it in (I get up at 8, have breakfast and I'm there by about quarter past).

My phone has a pedometer so I've been tracking my progress as well. Prior to going to the gym I was averaging about 3000 steps a day, but since going to the gym it's increased substantially to about 8000 steps a day. Today I actually breached 10,000 steps. I plan on doing this whole treadmill only thing for a couple of months before I decide to mix it up and do anything else. In fact I think I'll give it till the end of march, so about 90 days.

I've found some quick changes in the short amount of time I've been doing this, which I always seem to forget about - namely that I have more energy. However, the thing that doesn't change so quickly but the one that I want to change quickly is almost frozen in place. In the last 2 weeks my weight has been about the same (about a 1kg difference, but since they were taken at different times it could be a matter of one was a full stomach vs one that wasn't for example).

Checking the scales religiously is really not doing me well and is making me feel dejected. I want fast results and I'm not getting them. The amount of positive reinforcement I need is not being met, so I need to find where else I can fulfil it so I don't fall off the bandwagon again. Starting with me not checking the scales every day. I think I am going to try to force myself to check 'em only every Sunday. On top of that I will make sure I do them at the same time each time so I can get some consistency.

Next, I need to remind myself that I need to have a realistic expectation of how much weight I can possibly lose when I am not making major changes to my diet and that I am only walking on the treadmill for a couple kilometres every day. Seeing that I burn a couple hundred calories at best each session, and that I need to cut about 500 calories a day to lose about 0.5 kg a week, I should expect to only lose 1kg every 3 weeks or so since I am definitely not burning 500 calories a day.

BUT..I am making minute changes to my diet if I am going to be fair to myself. I am attempting to eat smaller portions so a regular sized meal at a fast food joint vs the large I regularly get. When I drink soda I am trying to go for the one with the least amount of calories and so on. I think it's all about making small changes that are almost imperceptible and sticking with them for long periods of time before making more of them and so on; simply repeating the process.

In the end, I know I could have lost at least 12kg by end of march if I choose a stricter regimen - but that theoretical limit won't mean shit if I bomb out early on because I can't hack it. It's much better to lose 4 actual kilos vs 12 theoretical ones.

Anyways, in summary:

• Will stick to treadmill only scheme till end of march, then reevaluate
  
• Will only weight myself once a week
  
• Try not to focus on my weight loss so much (even though it's so fucking hard and I am tempted to think it's the only thing that matters)
  
• focus on finding positive reinforcement elsewhere (not sure where yet)