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Goodbye Jesus

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Episode 2 - Contemporary Christian Music


francesco

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Dull! Bland! Meaningless! Unbiblical! Predictable! Boring! Not inspirational! Empty! Shallow! Soulless!

These are the list of what I feel about the modern Christian songs

Where are the good old hymns that we used to sing?

 

For more than a year I have to sing or hear these so called “modern” Christian songs. The recipe for this sort of thing was always very simple: take any pop style song, put Jesus name or other Christian words in it, and sing it repeatedly for million times.

The results are just “hilarious”: (it's a compilation from ex-c old posts and several other non-christian forums):

 

1. “I love you Jesus” theme

The simplest of all love songs

I want to bring to you

So I’ll let my words be few

Jesus, I am so in love with you.

Matt & Beth Redman
Let My Words Be Few

 

2. Falling in Love with Jesus

Friend of sinners, Lord of truth

I am falling in love with you

Friend of sinners, Lord of truth

I have fallen in love with you

Matt Redman
“Friend of Sinners”

 

3. Sexual innuendo

In the secret, in the quiet place

In the stillness, you are there

In the secret, in the quiet hour I wait only for you

‘Cause I want to know you more

I want to touch you, I want to see your face

I want to know you more

Andy Park
In the Secret

 

4. Having Sex with Jesus

Jesus I need to know true love

Deeper than the love found on earth

Take me into the King’s chambers

Cause my love to mature

 

Let me know the kisses of Your mouth

Let me feel Your embrace

Let me smell the fragrance of Your touch

Let me see Your lovely face

David Ruis
– True Love

5. “We're really important because we're Christians” theme

I'm gonna be a history maker in this land

I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind

I'm gonna stand

I'm gonna run into your arms

Delirious – History Maker

 

6. Jesus, is that you? Who the hell is “he”

He is jealous for me,

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden,

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,

And I Realize just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me.

 

Pre-Chorus:

And oh, how He loves us so,

Oh how He loves us,

How He loves us all

 

Chorus:

Yeah, He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves.

 

Verse 2:

We are His portion and He is our prize,

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy, wet kiss,

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,

I don't have time to maintain these regrets,

When I think about, the way...

 

Verse 3:

Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,

And You met me between my breaking.

I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.

...They want to tell me You're cruel,

But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause...

John Mark Mcmillan –
How He Loves

 

7. Is this can be considered as a christian song?

When the toast is burned

and all the milk has turned

and captain crunch is waving farewell

when the big one finds you

may this song remind you

that they don't serve breakfast in hell

Newsboys
– Breakfast

 

8. Poor Lyric

Lord the Light or Your Love is shining,

In the midst of the darkness shining,

Jesus light of the world shine upon us,

Set us free by the truth You now bring us,

Shine on me. Shine on me.

 

Shine Jesus shine

Fill this land with the Father's glory

Blaze, Spirit blaze,

Set our hearts on fire

Flow, river flow

Flood the nations with grace and mercy

Send forth Your word

Lord and let there be light.

 

Lord I come to Your awesome presence,

From the shadows into Your radiance,

By the blood I may enter Your brightness,

Search me, try me, consume all my darkness,

Shine on me. Shine on me.

 

As we gaze on Your kindly brightness.

So our faces display Your likeness.

Ever changing from glory to glory,

Mirrored here may our lives tell Your story.

Shine on me. Shine on me.

 

Shine Jesus Shine

What a poor title and lyric because it seems to imply that the glory of God is about how shiny He is.

 

9. Jesus or Boyfriend?

I’ve had a long day, I just wanna relax

Don’t have time for my friends, no time to chit chat

Problems at my job, wonderin’ what to do

I know I should be working but I’m thinking of you and

Just when I feel this crazy world is gonna bring me down

That’s when your smile comes around

Oh, I love the way you hold me, by my side you’ll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way you hold me, in your arms I’ll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

Jamie Grace
– Hold Me

 

 

I really don't understand why north american churches have to use CCM. There are so many traditional hymns that are better in term of content than the pop song that sung repeatedly for a million times.

 

And even worse, the song does not seems to match the preaching topic. It seems that As long as you are getting emotional, jumping or raising your hand, it does not matter if it is out of topic.

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"heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss"  Ewwww.  And how the hell does that happen?

 

"In the secret in the quiet hour I wait, only for you I want to touch you"  Ahh!  We used to sing that in my sunday school almost every week.  Maybe I was too young because I never realized the sexual innuendo.  Apparently nobody noticed because we sang it so solemnly.  Oh no I can't believe we were singing that!

 

I think it would be hilarious to become the first writer of honest Christian songs and try to get churches to sing them.  "Gonna Fuck You Up"  (that's a song about Job), "Burning it Down" (that's Revelations), "Sacrifice Your Child", "Bitch, Obey" (that's about being God's servent) and "In Bed with Jesus"

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rach, thanks for mentioning that one about "sloppy wet kisses." I used to want to puke when the worship leader started that one. The "honest Christian songs" titles you listed are fantastically hilarious. You blessed me with laughter today. Thanks! smile.png

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