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Ex Christian sharing revelations and ting.

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As we all know, Jesus (oft pronounced Gheezus) is actually meant to be pronounced, Yeshua.


The reasons of this are a combination of transliteration, as well as changes in the English language. But there's something that everyone's missed out.


If a priest pronounces it as Yeshua, then the congregation will also know that christ is called Yeshua, no matter how it is pronounced. Also the following priest would undoubtedly know this too, since he would have been schooled by someone who knows the name.


So we clearly have a broken link, as somewhere along the line the 'gospel' was taught by someone who did not know this, and passed on the faulty pronunciation to his congregation, and now we all follow that.


To paint a picture:


"Yeshua" -> disciples -> early church -> christians -> Roman Catholicism -> Europe -> England (1600)


Up until this point, we can say that there was a long line of the name being passed along, then suddenly.


"Gheezus" -> congregation -> more churches -> widespread christianity


So we can conclude that the christianity we have today must stem from a relatively new root which does not descend from the early church. In essence it must stem from an individual (or a group) who had never even gone to a church, instead they just picked up the book and went along and started their own church.


So when did this happen? Well we know that when KVJ was written, the 'j' was still using the Germanic 'i' sound, so it wasn't then. So when did was the French 'j' introduced? Well thanks to Shakespeare, who borrowed many French words for his literature, by the time he had his way with our vocabulary we had a lot of French influence in our language. But it wasn't until (IIRC) the 1800's that the French form was officially established.


Either way it's interesting to think that this religion can spring back so easily from people who did not, and still may not even believe in it. It is a great source of income and power. There are people right now who are billionaires because of this book, leading churches of devout followers.


Reminds me of The Book of eli.


The Order Of Chaos

When I discovered that order emerges from the infinite expressions of chaos and that chaos also emerges from the inescapable conflicts when opposing orders meet I found myself asking:


From what chaos does my order result from, and what reality is to emerge from my chaos?


So I continue to ask, which precedes which? or is existence the paradoxical battle between two natural opposites that exist solely within a subjective context that though appears to exist in moment will have vanished into evanescence by the next?


It was around mid September, just four years prior to the day I would finally be released from the prison of Christianity.


It was a church service so surreal, led by us, the youth, and I was to give an exhortation to encourage members of the church to consider one fundamental concept to strengthen their faith.


Early that morning I had been watching documentaries on christianity and they had shown possible locations of bible events. They had even explained how Goliath was likely to have been pronounced and how the Hebrew tongue had transformed it into the sounding we are familiar with today.


But I had also watched a documentary on Sodom and Gomorrah, and in that documentary it suggested that the story was inspired by a sudden fire, but that unlike the bible account one of the towns still remained to some degree.


Something about that documentary made christianity itself seem a little fictional.


At the time I felt a little disassociated with the faith, though still excited at being able to connect with scripture I just focused on attending the service.


Towards the end of the service we began to pray. We were asked to stand in a circle while the guest pastor would play the piano and sing prayers, but something about his aura stood out as fake to me. I felt like he was masquerading as a christian and exploiting our belief, especially as I could not "spiritually connect" with his music, so I disassociated from what was happening.


Then came the speaking in tongues and the prophecies about people. Naturally my friend who was wearing a fancy suit, six feet tall with a grand smile brandishing a large brown leather cased bible was foreseen to be a great pastor. My friend, mixed Indian and Guyanese, who had a wonderful voice (that they never knew about) was foreseen to be a great leader, maybe a woman preacher. But something about it seemed fake.


Then finally they came to this poor little foster girl who was fostered by the main pastor/bishop. What would follow would haunt many for years to come. See this poor little girl was abandoned by her mother, had been destroyed emotionally and due to her mistreatment suffered from near blindness in one of her eyes.


The visiting preacher attempted to faith heal her, and at that moment I knew it was going to fall apart. He prayed and prayed. We sang and she still couldn't see. So he prayed and prayed and prayed again. He put up some fingers and she still couldn't make them out. So he prayed and prayed and prayed once more, this time telling her to "stop playing games", as if he could speak to the complex arrangement of elements that were causing her the near blindness.


She was in tears. She clearly felt responsible for her pain and somewhat useless. For a moment she believed she would be healed, but instead she was being accused of lacking faith and blocking her healing.


We never saw that girl again, and thankfully the pastors never adopted anymore children.


As for me. I left that service feeling absolutely no attachment to God at all. I knew then what I now know to be true, that christianity is a lie and that there is no God, that we are alone in the Universe and we just happen to have enough sentience to fathom our own incompetence, but nothing more.


Unfortunately I would fight against what I knew to be true, and during that week I convinced myself to believe in God, though thankfully my eyes had been opened too much and it would be another four years before I would again open my eyes.


Essential Reading

When I was a Christian I used to read the Bible to gain as much insight as I could. Sure I also read plenty of other books, but here is my run down of essential reading for your own personal nourishment.


A Road Less Travelled

This book is a total gem. It is character building, spiritual growth (or whatever you'd like to call it). It is a wake up call. It is like therapy. It is life changing!


11 Minutes

A great story about following desires, taking chances and embracing new opportunities, with sexual content much more tasteful than 50 Shades of Grey (or so I've heard).


The Alchemist

An inspiring fable about following your dreams (and passions).


Need to know NLP

An excellent introduction to Neuro Linguistic Programming.


Secret Wisdom: Occult Societies And Arcane Knowledge Through The Ages

This book gives you a nice run down of various occult knowledge, including the reason for initiation (which Christianity has in a sense) as well as showing you the how much the occult has to do with modern culture and even science.


Brilliant Relationships

I picked this up at the airport when I had a few minutes to spare and must say that it gives you plenty of things to think about. Written by a marriage counsellor, this book is applicable to those in relationships, marriages and bachelors alike.


Other books on my reading list worth a mention

I have plenty of books on my reading list; these were recommended by a forum member so I cannot give a brief overview since I am yet to read them though I know they are incredibly valuable (and many if not all are available for free).

  • The Enuma Elish
  • Epic of Gilgamesh
  • Complete works of Homer
  • Egyptian Book of the Dead
  • Greek mythology

Well, I've got a mini library in my room of books to read, so perhaps I'll have to make an updated list soon smile.png


I come from a family whose beliefs centre around Christianity, so coming out leads to a collective effort from your relatives to "help" you turn back to Christ.


So far I've only been having conversations with my mum about this, but the common ideas she holds are:

  1. I must not have understood the Bible properly.
  2. My Church did not build up my faith properly.
  3. I couldn't have believed it properly.
  4. I am just being tested.
  5. I never fully knew what I was committing to when I got baptised.
  6. We could have only came from God, so what do I believe in now? Evolution? (note: the answer is obviously yes).

It's interesting that Christianity has a whole lot of mechanisms to explain it's way around any doubt one of its believers may have. Instead of considering your doubt to be a stage of growths they ingrain the idea in you that it is just a stage of your Christianity, a test of your faith and an opportunity to show God how much you love Him and believe in Him.


It's a shame because all of these circular arguments do not make for conducive conversations. Anything I say is ignored because I'm "blinded" by my doubts and therefore they should not listen to what I have to say.


I'm not bitter though because when I was a Christian I learned a great deal of patience from evangelising, a process I always thought was a little pointless because people don't change beliefs just like that.


My mum told me that she had told my uncle and he wanted to have a talk with me - as if he would be able to "help" me to remember my "faith". It's funny because they all speak from a position of ignorance and are all in bondage, the very things the gospel claims to free people from but instead subjugates them into babbling all sorts of nonsenses.


I now have to deal with the fact that my mum is being emotionally tormented by the brain washing of Christianity that makes people visualise their loved ones being burned for eternity because they didn't believe. I remember the horror I occasionally suffered when I would think of my mum burning in hell for eternity, so I know how traumatising that must be for her, and is one of the reasons I was reluctant to come out about my de-conversion.


I hate Christianity with a vengeance because it is a vicious and evil device that entraps people into never ending cycles of fear. Christians need to be de-converted big time.


In the last year I have discovered the most powerful de-conversion device for the World: religious unity.


Most religious tend to focus on religious unity between groups of their own faith, but having been exposed to a Church with the aim of uniting all world religions for a year before I de-converted I feel that they really helped me question my own beliefs. I am involved with their peace based organisation, but because I was a practicing Christian they invited me to their religious workshops, where I learned that I did not know much about my own beliefs and began studying the Bible a great deal more in order to be sure that I knew what I was talking about.


The unity of religions will dilute the messages of the past and allow people to adopt a new age of spirituality. The Unification Church itself will (in my opinion) result in a generation of believers who have no affiliation with the bible, and just appreciate all previous world religions. But my hope is that it can play a large part in wiping out at Christianity, Islam, Judaism and all the other harmful religions that make claims of being visited and spoken to by God. I've got no problems with the deists who believe there is a God but don't make up lies about being told by God what to do, because that does not stop their search for truth.


Their teachings have a multitude of arguments against the commonly held beliefs of the bible, and might contain many new ideas for you when attempting to de-convert a Christian. When I attended their workshop I remember being disgusted when they said that Jesus failed, but their argument was pretty strong and judging by the amount of Christians who converted to that church I think it's fair to say that their model also has the power for total de-conversion.


People need to belong to something, we need the comfort of a force greater than ourselves that looks over us, and religion provides that. But the truth is that that is a childhood fantasy, and I suspect it might be holding back the world from much of their personal development. So it might be fair to say that if we want to have any hope of making the world a better place (i.e. without fairy tale religions) we might need to convert them to their own personal process of de-conversion. We might need to provide them with a community to de-convert with. I've actually been spending lots of time with the unification church guys and I feel pretty comfortable with them because apart from their belief of their leader being the messiah, I really love a lot about their movement. I sometimes feel that his alleged encounter with Jesus may have in fact been an encounter with doubt, causing him to realise that since Christianity is false it means that people can follow a lie, allowing him to form an entire religion based on a false premise.


I am fully aware of the Moonie cult, etc. but now I know that Christianity is a cult, I consider the Moonies to be a better version of the cult because this generation of it's followers are much less like religious folk, with most of them attending university, and many of them are in the sciences. Because of this I anticipate the next generation of them will appear more like deists or even spiritual agnostics or mystics.


I can't be too sure where this thought will lead, but the unification movement played a massive role in my de-conversion. I realised for the first time that loving people can be more abundant outside of the church I know. I realised that we ignore a great deal of the bible, only focusing on a small subset of it in our tiny little churches. I realised how little we were allowed to think in my church and how much we were indoctrinated to accept particular interpretations of the bible. And most importantly I realised that, with them being the best shot at uniting Christianity that there was absolutely no unity within the church and also that the bible is exorbitantly ambiguous and flakey. Encountering them caused me to really think about my beliefs and despite the controversy of this topic I really do think there is something that can be learned by that group in some way.


The World, particularly Christians need to be aware of communities that they can communicate with when they have questions about their "faith" to ease their de-conversion process.


We are social creatures at heart and with Christianity demonising the consideration of any opposing ideas, it can be incredibly difficult for a practicing Christian to honour their doubts when our conceptual World consists provides no platform to explore truth. So throughout their Christian walk they will face a number of doubts and notice a whole array of things that are wrong but make every conscious effort possible to avoid any treacherous trails of thought.


Finding has really helped me appreciate my beliefs and given me the strength to be more honest about where I stand. It's much easier to reveal your true identity when you feel like you are not the only one with a deep dark secret.


One problem many people face when they first internally de-convert is that when you are only in contact with believers it can seem like they are the only people in the World. The irony is that when you practice Christianity you are made to feel like the whole world are sinners and you are the only small group of people following the truth, but that is far from the truth because there are countless Churches all over the place, and although believers aren't exactly the majority, there are a lot of people who may be open to Christianity simply because they've not totally rejected it to the same level an ex-Christian who has denounced it.


For this reason it is imperative that Christians are made aware of communities where they can explore their 'faith' and doubt prior to de-converting, but presented in a friendly way that allows them to actually explore their own thoughts. We should encourage real Bible study, reading the first books of the bible without seeking for any outside interpretation, developing their own understanding so that they can reach the conclusion that it is false. This place must also address the powerful cult mechanics employed by Christianity, such as the discouragement of having "your own thinking", along with the cascading deluge of psychological devices unwittingly used to entrap the minds of followers.

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