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Irritating Catch Phrases The little things Christians say.

#51 User is offline   Grandpa Harley 

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Posted 03 May 2007 - 04:32 PM

View PostGarnet, on May 3 2007, 02:35 PM, said:

There are no atheists in foxholes.

That one rarely fails to raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels. What a load of smug ignorance.


I usually point out that my Grandfather, having been an atillery man at both Ypres and the Somme, came back an atheist. God, for my Grandfather, died in the Trenches, along with most of his friends and his brother in law...
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#52 User is offline   Garnet 

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Posted 03 May 2007 - 05:39 PM

View PostGrandpa Harley, on May 3 2007, 04:32 PM, said:

I usually point out that my Grandfather, having been an atillery man at both Ypres and the Somme, came back an atheist. God, for my Grandfather, died in the Trenches, along with most of his friends and his brother in law...


Yup. My husband is a Nam vet. He was an atheist before the war, during the war and he's still an atheist. I've done some work with combat veterans and from my unscientific perspective, they are more likely to be atheists or agnotics than Christians.
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#53 User is offline   Grandpa Harley 

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Posted 03 May 2007 - 05:58 PM

An old pal of mine was in Bosnia... he said that having had to mop yet another squaddie's brain off the floor you get a perspective on 'loving creators'... when I first met him at uni, he was a Chaplaincy lurker.... now he's atheist.
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#54 User is offline   Gary Thompson 

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Posted 03 May 2007 - 06:04 PM

View PostGrandpa Harley, on May 4 2007, 12:58 AM, said:

when I first met him at uni, he was a Chaplaincy lurker.... now he's atheist.


Another soul saved!
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#55 User is offline   Grandpa Harley 

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Posted 03 May 2007 - 08:31 PM

Hallelujah!
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#56 User is offline   Gary Thompson 

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Posted 03 May 2007 - 08:43 PM

View PostGrandpa Harley, on May 4 2007, 12:58 AM, said:

he said that having had to mop yet another squaddie's brain off the floor you get a perspective on 'loving creators'


I wonder how anyone can look at the world and say that there is a loving creator. Unless they are snobs and don't see further than their own gold sprinkled lawn and swimming pools of chocolate sauce.
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#57 User is offline   Grandpa Harley 

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Posted 03 May 2007 - 09:00 PM

View PostGary Thompson, on May 3 2007, 07:43 PM, said:

View PostGrandpa Harley, on May 4 2007, 12:58 AM, said:

he said that having had to mop yet another squaddie's brain off the floor you get a perspective on 'loving creators'


I wonder how anyone can look at the world and say that there is a loving creator. Unless they are snobs and don't see further than their own gold sprinkled lawn and swimming pools of chocolate sauce.

I concur...
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#58 User is offline   Thurisaz 

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Posted 04 May 2007 - 12:05 AM

View PostGrandpa Harley, on May 3 2007, 10:32 PM, said:

View PostGarnet, on May 3 2007, 02:35 PM, said:

There are no atheists in foxholes.

That one rarely fails to raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels. What a load of smug ignorance.


I usually point out that my Grandfather, having been an atillery man at both Ypres and the Somme, came back an atheist. God, for my Grandfather, died in the Trenches, along with most of his friends and his brother in law...


Let alone that this atheist/foxhole crap is one of the most bizarre self-contradictions, as I see it, the cultists ever let loose on the world.

So, "there are no atheists in foxholes", eh?
Remember the constant blah-yadda from the same crowd about how "the nazis were atheists"?

I'm impressed. How did they manage to conquer most of Europe while hiding in their homes like wimps? Resolve that fundie fuckfaces! :fdevil:
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#59 User is offline   DarthOkkata 

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Posted 04 May 2007 - 01:43 AM

View PostThurisaz, on May 4 2007, 12:05 AM, said:

Thurisaz's law (first pointed out by Varokhar): After cutting out the fluff, all fundie postings can be summed up as "Phn'glui mglw'nafh jebus heaven wgah'nagl fthagn!".


You forgot the word 'Hell'.
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#60 User is offline   Grandpa Harley 

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Posted 04 May 2007 - 01:45 AM

View PostDarthOkkata, on May 4 2007, 12:43 AM, said:

View PostThurisaz, on May 4 2007, 12:05 AM, said:

Thurisaz's law (first pointed out by Varokhar): After cutting out the fluff, all fundie postings can be summed up as "Phn'glui mglw'nafh jebus heaven wgah'nagl fthagn!".


You forgot the word 'Hell'.

But... Jesus lies sleeping in heaven...
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#61 User is offline   Onyx 

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Posted 04 May 2007 - 02:39 AM

"Saaaaaaaaaatan!" When a old Christian see things that he or she dislike.

"Jesus will heal you" One of the biggest lies ever.

"Don't you know Jesus love you?" Yeah and I don't love him back.

"God wanted the world to listen to him but they were all bad in His Opinion so he flooded it" What about the innocent children, teens, disableds, non Heteros, old people and animals? I guess they were EVIL!

"Two men or women marrying is an abomination" Catholic Priests, mass murderers and rapists, anyone?

"Masturbation is a sin" And misguided horrific crimes isn't?

"We are all worthless sinners!" One of the most annoying and debasing catchphrases EVER! Humanity can make something of itself if it tries.
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#62 User is offline   Florida 

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Posted 04 May 2007 - 11:31 PM

I am to the point where I enjoy the Christian catch phrases, especially when my teenagers are around. One once told my son that masturbation was an evil homosexual act, to which my son answered, "If God didn't want us to masturbate... he'd have made our arms shorter".

What really bugs me is are the big gas hog vehicles with the red, white and blue bumperstickers, "God Bless America" and "The Power of Pride".

This post has been edited by Florida: 04 May 2007 - 11:48 PM

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#63 User is offline   DarthOkkata 

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Posted 05 May 2007 - 12:11 AM

View PostGarnet, on May 3 2007, 03:35 PM, said:

There are no atheists in foxholes.

That one rarely fails to raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels. What a load of smug ignorance.


I lost it at work today. Some bible thumper who has been harrassing me and shoving 'jesus pamplets' at me for the last few weeks said this to me on my way out the door after I got off and I slapped them and replied.

"Tell that to the Tillman family."

My boss about fell over laughing. Not right away, he heard about it from one of the officers that had been summoned. They picked me up about a block away and drove me back to work. I explained my story then, and my coworkers and a few witnesses backed me up.

Then I spent a half hour in the back of a cop car before they let me go.

I'm not fired either.

Boy is that family pissed. I don't think they'll be back to annoy me at work anymore.

What can I say? I'm still pissed at the President for telling me I'm not an American.

This post has been edited by DarthOkkata: 05 May 2007 - 12:14 AM

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#64 User is offline   Florida 

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Posted 05 May 2007 - 12:29 AM

You've had quite a day sir.

When I first moved to this fine state shaped like a limp penis, I had the pleasure of waiting tables. Every now and then a customer would leave me a "jesus pamplet" instead of a tip (without asking me if I was a christian or not)... and once one invited me to his church but explained that if I did come to not wear make-up or revealing clothes or jewelry because God didn't like it. This was a Hooters restaurant...
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#65 User is offline   DarthOkkata 

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Posted 05 May 2007 - 12:53 AM

View PostFlorida, on May 5 2007, 12:29 AM, said:

You've had quite a day sir.

When I first moved to this fine state shaped like a limp penis, I had the pleasure of waiting tables. Every now and then a customer would leave me a "jesus pamplet" instead of a tip (without asking me if I was a christian or not)... and once one invited me to his church but explained that if I did come to not wear make-up or revealing clothes or jewelry because God didn't like it. This was a Hooters restaurant...


Yeah. I feel rather fulfilled because of it oddly enough.

I work in a restaurant now. I can't handle waiting, I'm not enough of a 'people person'. The perfect kind of person for 'back of the house' work. :)

I've started trading literature with them. I've got a few of the Chthulu tracts that I printed out. [See humor section]. I've also got some of the 'Bible reference' cards from the main blog page.

Great fun.
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#66 User is offline   Florida 

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Posted 05 May 2007 - 01:14 AM

View PostDarthOkkata, on May 5 2007, 12:53 AM, said:

I've started trading literature with them. I've got a few of the Chthulu tracts that I printed out. [See humor section]. I've also got some of the 'Bible reference' cards from the main blog page.

Great fun.


Good idea! You can't get arrested for that... :)
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#67 User is offline   Thurisaz 

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Posted 05 May 2007 - 03:28 AM

View PostDarthOkkata, on May 4 2007, 07:43 AM, said:

View PostThurisaz, on May 4 2007, 12:05 AM, said:

Thurisaz's law (first pointed out by Varokhar): After cutting out the fluff, all fundie postings can be summed up as "Phn'glui mglw'nafh jebus heaven wgah'nagl fthagn!".


You forgot the word 'Hell'.


Basically right, but including that would break the metrics. Doesn't read as nicely if you replace "Cthulhu R'lyeh" with "jebus heaven hell", no? :fdevil:
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#68 User is offline   DarthOkkata 

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Posted 05 May 2007 - 03:34 AM

View PostThurisaz, on May 5 2007, 03:28 AM, said:

View PostDarthOkkata, on May 4 2007, 07:43 AM, said:

View PostThurisaz, on May 4 2007, 12:05 AM, said:

Thurisaz's law (first pointed out by Varokhar): After cutting out the fluff, all fundie postings can be summed up as "Phn'glui mglw'nafh jebus heaven wgah'nagl fthagn!".


You forgot the word 'Hell'.


Basically right, but including that would break the metrics. Doesn't read as nicely if you replace "Cthulhu R'lyeh" with "jebus heaven hell", no? :fdevil:


It works if you put it near the end rather than in the middle, like this:

"Phn'glui mglw'nafh jebus heaven wgah'nagl hell fthagn!".

Or, if you want to go old school death metal, do it backwards.

"Phn'glui mglw'nafh susej nevaeh lleh wgah'nagl fthagn!".

Though, that works best in print form...

Most people aren't going to get the Lovecraft refference anyway, and it seems slicker to slip it in near the end. That's usually the order of the Fundies speech.

Jesus loves you, youll go to heaven, follow what you'll learn in my church or you'll burn in hell.

This post has been edited by DarthOkkata: 05 May 2007 - 03:38 AM

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#69 User is offline   Garnet 

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Posted 05 May 2007 - 08:37 AM

View PostDarthOkkata, on May 5 2007, 12:11 AM, said:

I lost it at work today. Some bible thumper who has been harrassing me and shoving 'jesus pamplets' at me for the last few weeks said this to me on my way out the door after I got off and I slapped them and replied.

"Tell that to the Tillman family."

My boss about fell over laughing. Not right away, he heard about it from one of the officers that had been summoned. They picked me up about a block away and drove me back to work. I explained my story then, and my coworkers and a few witnesses backed me up.

Then I spent a half hour in the back of a cop car before they let me go.

I'm not fired either.

Boy is that family pissed. I don't think they'll be back to annoy me at work anymore.

What can I say? I'm still pissed at the President for telling me I'm not an American.


I cannot tell you how many times I've wanted to do something like that. In my opinion, persistent and unwelcome proseletyzing is a form of harrasment. I had to get an order of protection against a street preacher in Alabama who not only harrangued me every day as I was walking from my car to my office, but also showed up at my apartment building one morning. Gah.
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#70 User is offline   Grandpa Harley 

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Posted 05 May 2007 - 08:46 AM

View PostFlorida, on May 4 2007, 11:29 PM, said:

You've had quite a day sir.

When I first moved to this fine state shaped like a limp penis, I had the pleasure of waiting tables. Every now and then a customer would leave me a "jesus pamplet" instead of a tip (without asking me if I was a christian or not)... and once one invited me to his church but explained that if I did come to not wear make-up or revealing clothes or jewelry because God didn't like it. This was a Hooters restaurant...


Those bible boys do love their Hooters bars...:)
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