Calling All Atheists

[StevoMuso]

I started this thread on the Richard Dawkins forum and received stunning responses from all over the world. Then someone directed me to this site and I'm absolutely stunned and excited by the caliber of members here. I think I relate more to you guys than other similar forums because here we are mostly ex-Christians (some atheists grew up in countries like Sweden where religion is almost unheard-of and unusual).

 

I need you to please assist me in some research by answering two questions:

1. What was the final "trigger" that convinced you to become an atheist? (Something you read? Someone you spoke to? That kind of thing.)

2. How did your decision to become an atheist affect your life? (Lost relationships? Clearer view on life? Less judgmental? That kind of thing.)

 

Vital to my research is the county you live in so please start each post with, "I live in [country] ..."

 

Your replies can be one quick paragraph or something a bit more in-depth - it's up to you. I will copy/paste your answers on this thread to my blog at http://couragetodoubt.blogspot.com/

 

I would LOVE to copy some of the stories under the "Personal Testimonies" section but obviously cannot do that without all the appropriate permissions etc.

[StevoMuso]

Vital to my research is the county you live in so please start each post with, "I live in [country] ..."

 

Sorry, that should read, "Vital to my research is the country you live in ..."

 

Can't find the 'edit' button on my post ... or am I just being stoooopid?

[Vomit Comet]

Are you a journalist or an academic? Or are you currently operating outside either of those professions? What's your angle?

[Shyone]

I started this thread on the Richard Dawkins forum and received stunning responses from all over the world. Then someone directed me to this site and I'm absolutely stunned and excited by the caliber of members here. I think I relate more to you guys than other similar forums because here we are mostly ex-Christians (some atheists grew up in countries like Sweden where religion is almost unheard-of and unusual).

 

I need you to please assist me in some research by answering two questions:

1. What was the final "trigger" that convinced you to become an atheist? (Something you read? Someone you spoke to? That kind of thing.)

2. How did your decision to become an atheist affect your life? (Lost relationships? Clearer view on life? Less judgmental? That kind of thing.)

 

Vital to my research is the county you live in so please start each post with, "I live in [country] ..."

 

Your replies can be one quick paragraph or something a bit more in-depth - it's up to you. I will copy/paste your answers on this thread to my blog at http://couragetodoubt.blogspot.com/

 

I would LOVE to copy some of the stories under the "Personal Testimonies" section but obviously cannot do that without all the appropriate permissions etc.

 

 

There are already threads on the two questions you asked. Why not correlate them, read their testimonials if available, and then PM them for the permissions you may need?

[R. S. Martin]

Edited because I did not see the other two posts before I posted. I agree, if there already are threads with these questions, Steve, that you should use those.

 

I am also curious how you could have "started this thread" on the Dawkins forum, given that those forums were locked nearly a week ago.

 

Are you a journalist or an academic? Or are you currently operating outside either of those professions? What's your angle?

 

Exactly. Either would know how to use as data, and how to cite, document, and credit, publicly available online material without violating international copyright law.

[♦ nivek ♦]

Mr. Muso,

 

Testimonies, where published in the clear on a publicly read web BBS, remain custody and property of their authors.

 

We, Management and Staff of Ex-Christian dot net, have had problems prior with cut and pasters, folks using information gleaned from the Testimonies pages.

 

Has become the standard for ExC to refuse permission to reprint or republish under all circumstances.

 

If you have a particular story author with whom you wish to see permission from, feel free to PM me. I will take necessary steps to see if that person is amiable to granting permission.

 

kevinL

Staff

[StevoMuso]

Edited because I did not see the other two posts before I posted. I agree, if there already are threads with these questions, Steve, that you should use those.

 

I am also curious how you could have "started this thread" on the Dawkins forum, given that those forums were locked nearly a week ago.

 

Are you a journalist or an academic? Or are you currently operating outside either of those professions? What's your angle?

 

Exactly. Either would know how to use as data, and how to cite, document, and credit, publicly available online material without violating international copyright law.

 

Okay. My bad. I see some explanation is required. I'm neither journalist nor academic, I'm a musician by trade. I recently published a book regarding my conversion to atheism so I guess that makes me a kind of 'academic' but then I thought all atheists had to be 'thinkers' or 'academics' of a sort (if we weren't we'd still be Christians, hehe).

 

The research I'm doing is purely personal - it's not for publication (unless you could call posting on a blog "publication"). I live in South Africa where fundamental Christianity is the norm rather than the exception. I am often accosted by believers and one of the most common accusations I get (as do you guys, I'm sure) is that I abandoned my faith due to some kind of trauma and now I'm simply pissed at God.

 

After meeting some fellow SA atheists at a meeting to promote my book, I found a general trend emerging from testimonies some of them told i.e. atheism seems to result from an increase in knowledge. I have never heard of a person who genuinely lost faith due to an emotional response to trauma. I have found that the antidote for faith is knowledge. I have also found that the more educated a nation is, in general, the less likely those people are to be religious (this is why it's important to know where you live).

 

I am also curious how you could have "started this thread" on the Dawkins forum, given that those forums were locked nearly a week ago.

 

I started the thread about a month ago and had the whole thing going brilliantly until we were shut down. I found atheists from all over the world who were willing to share their stories with me - it was awesome, moving and informative.

 

There are already threads on the two questions you asked. Why not correlate them, read their testimonials if available, and then PM them for the permissions you may need?

 

I would prefer to get direct replies to my two specific questions because of time constraints. You would be amazed at how seldom those two specific things come up i.e. what was the final trigger, and how did this decision affect you personally. I have read some brilliant and heart-warming stories on this forum, but I would really prefer some more specific replies to my two questions and also MORE IMPORTANTLY I need to know which country you live in. Very few posts have the country.

 

So, guys, please ... I would like to ask really nicely for some responses on this particular thread. I usually only have about half an hour on the internet per day so I have serious time constraints in searching all the other posts and writing to the authors. If they are here on this thread then I can copy/paste/say-thanks/get-country-of-person all in my limited time - and still have my specific questions answered in a concise, meaningful and personal way.

 

By the time the Dawkins site got shut down I already had 34 entries on the blog, and that was in the space of about 2 weeks.

It was brilliant, people were sharing, we were getting close, things were happening and then ... bam! ... site closed down.

[StevoMuso]

Mr. Muso,

Testimonies, where published in the clear on a publicly read web BBS, remain custody and property of their authors.

We, Management and Staff of Ex-Christian dot net, have had problems prior with cut and pasters, folks using information gleaned from the Testimonies pages.

Has become the standard for ExC to refuse permission to reprint or republish under all circumstances.

If you have a particular story author with whom you wish to see permission from, feel free to PM me. I will take necessary steps to see if that person is amiable to granting permission.

kevinL

Staff

Sir Kevin - thank you for setting the record straight. I think your post spells out the specific reason why I would like people to respond to my research questions on this particular thread. In so doing they would be giving me specific permission to copy/paste their responses to my blog. I would, of course, never reveal their true names, and they would just simply answer my questions: e.g. "I became an atheist when I finally figured out there was no afterlife while studying the functions of the human brain. My family rejected me, I lost close friends, but now have a more clear world-view, I'm not as judgmental as before and I am more able to be a moral and productive member of society. Sincerely, StevoMuso South Africa"

 

If I had a post like that, on this thread, I could use it safely and without causing a stir, or even a ripple, in anyones' personal life. I am fully aware that it would be ethically and morally reprehensible to copy/paste out of the 'Testimonies' section which is one of the reasons I wanted to have a thread like this.

 

I don't think my request is an unreasonable one. I REALLY would like this forum to respond specifically because I'm looking for people who were religious before becoming atheists, and where better to find people like this than on an Ex-Christian site. I feel at home here. I am also an ex-C and am now an evangelical atheist. I am actively trying to create awareness and educate people regarding atheism here in South Africa where it is sorely needed. I am even the administrator of an organization called Religion-Free Africa. I'm trying everything in my limited power to spread truth in a country beset with lies and superstition. All I wanted from this forum was a little help and support in what I thought would be our common goal. I dunno ... maybe people in other countries have the luxury of the stimulating conversation of like-minded thinkers, but in South Africa it is almost unheard of.

 

Okay ... I'm ranting. Forgive me. But please don't cut this thread off with an administrative slap on my wrist. I would LOVE to hear everyone's story and be able to share their encouraging messages, as many as possible, with people in my country who are struggling with their unreasonable faith and in desperate need of a nudge in the right direction.

[★ Citsonga ★]

1. What was the final "trigger" that convinced you to become an atheist? (Something you read? Someone you spoke to? That kind of thing.)

 

For me it was the realization that the bible is NOT the "Word of God." I had always disbelieved all other gods, so when I realized that the god of the bible isn't real I was left with a default of zero gods. I actually usually refer to myself as an agnostic, though, since there may be a slight possibility of a deist sort of god, but I don't normally lean toward that view and I have no specific god belief, so I guess I'm technically an atheist.

 

For a detailed look at my life as a christian and path out of it, see my testimony:

http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?/topic/31461-my-extimony/

 

2. How did your decision to become an atheist affect your life? (Lost relationships? Clearer view on life? Less judgmental? That kind of thing.)

 

I wouldn't call it a "decision." I didn't decide or choose to stop believing, I simply couldn't believe anymore due to what I was learning about the bible.

 

For the most part I haven't come out family and friends as a nonbeliever, but it has made some things a little awkward. I did recently have some written correspondence with my father-in-law, though, which is detailed in this thread:

http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?/topic/35656-note-from-father-in-law/

 

Can't find the 'edit' button on my post ... or am I just being stoooopid?

 

The edit function isn't available until you've made 25 posts.

 

I have read some brilliant and heart-warming stories on this forum, but I would really prefer some more specific replies to my two questions and also MORE IMPORTANTLY I need to know which country you live in. Very few posts have the country.

 

Each poster's location is usually listed under the name at the left of the post. I'm from the USA, but you can see that to the left of this post (as long as you realize that Pennsylvania is a state in the USA, of course).

 

After meeting some fellow SA atheists at a meeting to promote my book, I found a general trend emerging from testimonies some of them told i.e. atheism seems to result from an increase in knowledge. I have never heard of a person who genuinely lost faith due to an emotional response to trauma.

 

Mine was also an increase in knowledge, but I would suspect that there are people who lose faith due to an emotional response to trauma. Those whose faith would be lost emotionally, though, could have their faith restored emotionally as well, and I suspect that most who go back to religion would fall into this category. Those of us whose loss of faith is due to what we've learned would be less inclined to return, because we can't toss what we've learned out the window.

[Legion]

I'm from the U.S.

 

For me it happened during puberty and it was the realization of mainly two things. First, I saw how other Christians responded to the topic of evolution. For me there was no doubt about it. We had evolved like every other organism on the Earth. But many others recoiled from the notion. And that brought my awareness to a general pattern of what I would later learn was called denial. Second, as most every male has experienced, during puberty my body was sending me some fairly unambiguous signals, and my thoughts were on women. The church basically told me that an emotion that I had virtually no control over, lust, was bad. And this brought my awareness to a general pattern of attempts to control.

 

These two things together, denial and attempts to control, withered my respect for Christianity and my ability to heed it as a guide. It was as if blind men were giving me commands. I walked away. After some futher reflection on god, I think if there is a god then Spinoza's god or some variation thereof makes the most sense. But I am now effectively an atheist.

 

Other than a much increased sense of cognitive freedom, there has been little effect however. I think this is likely due to the fact that I don't advertize my heathen nature. I blend in and I try to handle questions of faith in god creatively. I don't lie. But I also don't volunteer information.

[StevoMuso]

The edit function isn't available until you've made 25 posts.

 

I think I only have about 3 to go - cool. This forum stuff is still rather new to my 50 yr-old brain.

 

Each poster's location is usually listed under the name at the left of the post. I'm from the USA, but you can see that to the left of this post (as long as you realize that Pennsylvania is a state in the USA, of course).

 

Yes - this forum is great with that, I have noticed. I just needed to make double sure because on the RD site there were many who omitted their country.

 

For a detailed look at my life as a christian and path out of it, see my testimony:

 

Citsonga thank you. You are the first person to respond to my request, and for this I'm grateful. Aaah Americans You guys are always the first to help someone. Another American has been helpful - have you heard of Dan Barker (Freedom From Religion Foundation)? He wrote the Foreword for my book and has been a tremendous help in getting free-thought off the ground here in S.Africa. At the risk of being too gushy - thanks again. It's now 03.35 a.m. and I need to sleep. I will work on your story tomorrow and post it on the blog soon.

[★ Citsonga ★]

...have you heard of Dan Barker (Freedom From Religion Foundation)? He wrote the Foreword for my book and has been a tremendous help in getting free-thought off the ground here in S.Africa.

 

Yes, I just recently read Barker's "Godless" and I have ordered his "Losing Faith In Faith." I also recently subscribed to the FFRF's "Freethought Today" newspaper.

 

I'll have to check out your blog. Take care....

[Neon Genesis]

To give the short version, I was raised in the church of Christ, which is a fundamentalist Christian church. They taught the bible was the literal word of God and that homosexuality was a sin. Eventually I realized I was gay and no matter what I did, I couldn't change my sexuality. I was afraid God hated me and was going to send me to hell and I couldn't understand how a loving god could torture people for all eternity. I then started to study the bible more and I came across bible passages that depicted God committing the most horrific immoral acts anyone could ever do, like how he commanded the Isrealites to murder children, rape virgins, and demanded that women marry their rapist. I've asked biblical literalists to justify God's immoral actions countless number of times and so far I've never heard a reasonable explanation that justified it. Eventually I reached three conclusions: that either God existed but was evil and desired to see humanity suffer, God was real but was unconcerned if we worshiped it or not, or God didn't exist. I then thought that if God existed but didn't care if we worshiped it or not, it would be ok to not believe in it and so I eventually let go of my belief in God. Welcome to the forums SteveMuso! I hope you'll stay longer than just for this research! And Citsonga, have you also subscribed to the FFRF's podcast on iTunes?

[★ Citsonga ★]

And Citsonga, have you also subscribed to the FFRF's podcast on iTunes?

 

No. I've been wanting to check out their podcasts but haven't gotten around to it. I'm still running Windows 2000, which may be a problem, I'm not sure.

[Shyone]

1. What was the final "trigger" that convinced you to become an atheist? (Something you read? Someone you spoke to? That kind of thing.)

 

My conversation with my pastor was defining. It's not that he said anything wrong, or that I suddenly realized anything. It was more that I felt he knew that I was losing my faith.

 

Sometime later, while praying, it all came crashing down and I was alone talking to myself in the middle of a church service. No gods were listening. This was after I had already studied the bible, history and other things, and I was practicing medicine. I knew the truth; it just didn't seem to matter until I realized emotionally that there was no one on the other end of the prayer.

 

You can find more at: http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?/topic/36230-any-defining-moments/

 

2. How did your decision to become an atheist affect your life? (Lost relationships? Clearer view on life? Less judgmental? That kind of thing.)

 

I understood what an explanation was, and the world made perfect sense.

 

[Franko47]

Hi, Stevo....

 

 

1. What was the final "trigger" that convinced you to become an atheist? (Something you read? Someone you spoke to? That kind of thing.)

2. How did your decision to become an atheist affect your life? (Lost relationships? Clearer view on life? Less judgmental? That kind of thing.)

 

 

There was no real trigger. All of my "doubts" just reached "critical mass". I also realized how many people can so easily engage in intellectual dishonesty and fantasy-thinking when they are driven by powerful feelings and prejudices.

 

Even outside of religion, like politics, there are so many people who will continue to rationalize to the nth degree, so that their little world view won't crumble. Economics, sexuality, drug policy, abortion..... but to be totally honest with you it was the Christian Bible-Fundamentalists that finished me off. Their whole mindset and rationale for everything is just so retarded; I was even fighting them when I WAS a Christian. Still believe in hope, charity and love, but I can do so without threats or being under the thumb of a psychotic Santa Claus.

 

Second, my final slide into atheism (although I'm still open-minded about the role of intelligence and consciousness in our Universe) left me with a bit of a feeling of "loss". Losing so many of my nice, childhood, wonderful feelings and fantasies about some "cosmic power" looking over me, or a God-being who cared about me, was a bit painful for a while. It was hard to face the fact that all we will ever have or know is this life; our friends, family, and so on.

 

At this point I consider it to be a natural state of rational cognizance; even a state of philosophical maturity; and now I realize that I have more empathy for humanity than perhaps ever before.

[OnceConvinced]

Ok, I'm not technically an atheist, but an agnostic. I'll answer anyway, just for something to do.

 

I live in New Zealand.

 

1. What was the final "trigger" that convinced you to become an atheist? (Something you read? Someone you spoke to? That kind of thing.)

 

For me it was a very slow process, but there was no decision made to stop believing. One day I just discovered to my horror that I no longer believed. I was in denial for a long time and fought it, but after a while I realised that there was nothing more I could do. I just no longer believed, full stop. There were many things that lead me to that position. ONe of the major things was discovering to my horror, that the last time God had every done anything amazing in my life was about 10 years earlier. Of course now I can see through rational eyes and can put down those so-called amazing things to non-supernatural causes.

 

2. How did your decision to become an atheist affect your life? (Lost relationships? Clearer view on life? Less judgmental? That kind of thing.)

 

Once again, decision is the wrong word. There is no decision involved, just as there is no decision when it comes to belief in God. Something convinces you and you find yourself believing. Or on the other hand, something convinces you that you're kidding yourself and you realise you no longer believe. You then realise you are an atheist... or in my case an agnostic.

 

I have found myself not telling a lot of people. Keeping it a secret, although I have started to tell some people now. It will not be long before I break it to my parents. I can see that coming.

 

Things make more sense now. The world, the way it is, the way people are makes more sense when you look at it from an evolutionary point of view, rather than a creationist point of view.

 

I am most definitely more accepting of minority groups. Before I used to condemn them because the bible condemned them. I can now accept them as just being people who are different to me, but are not the evil or depraved people I thought they were. I can now accept atheists, gays, witches and many more beside without looking down my nose at them.

 

Before, if I wanted a relationship, it always had to be a Christian woman. Now the world is my oyster. I can have a relationship with anyone I damn well please and I have met and been involved with some amazing women recently, unlike the stuffy, inhibited, repressed, Christian women I've been involved with earlier in my life.

 

I no longer have to feel guilty about the silly little so-called sins Christianity condemned me for. I can accept myself more for what I am, knowing that I am simply acting on my human nature.

 

I am now more proactive when it comes to life. I know now that I only have a limited amount of time. There is no eternity. This is it and I have to make the most of my life now. No more complacency, no more apathy, no more thinking that this life is just a test and a blink in the eye of eternity. I create my own purposes, I create my on destiny. No more wasting time trying to serve a non-existant deity.

[soor]

I live in Canada. For me the trigger was really over a course of about 2 years. Being deeply religious most of my life I always had a deep faith in the God of the bible even though I could not understand and reconcile much of the old testament God and the God of love in the New Testament. I went through a period of two years where I was going through a very hard and difficult time and not with so much circumstances in my life but with God and who he was in my life.And after countless hours of prayers and tears and searching for truth that the God of the bible claimed to be, it hit me one day that he really wasn't there. All you have to do is apply the bible to itself and it fails miserable!

 

You don't even have to look far or find a slew of failed teachings. For me given my circumstances. I was not looking for anything material or anything that was selfish. I was looking for the God I had so loyally followed all my life. The God who said he was the word the truth and the life, the God who said knock and the door shall be opened, seek and you shall find, ask and it shall be given.

 

 

 

So I did exactly as I believed, I used God's bible to do what he said. I knocked on his door, no answer. (he lied)...I asked, I didn't receive. (he lied)...I went seeking for him to see if he was there. I didn't find him. (he lied)

 

/Either the God of the bible is a liar (sinner) or when you apply the bible to itself it falls down like a house of cards. (Reading this site through the years even though I hardly post greatly helped and still helps)

 

I am less judgemental and live my life to the fullest now. My morals are excellent with out the religious b.s.

My biggest regret is I lost 25 years of the freedom I have now. Funny a book that claims to free the world actually imprisons it.

 

I generally don't tell people that I don't believe in the God of the bible as I find most actually don't care other then Christians. I hold out hope that there may be something great out there and that this life we live will one day have some sense to it. But right now it is not the nonsense of the bible.

[Guest I Love Dog]

 

I need you to please assist me in some research by answering two questions:

1. What was the final "trigger" that convinced you to become an atheist? (Something you read? Someone you spoke to? That kind of thing.)

2. How did your decision to become an atheist affect your life? (Lost relationships? Clearer view on life? Less judgmental? That kind of thing.)

 

I live in Australia but grew up in U.K., and I first cast off Christianity when I was 12 years old.

 

The final trigger for me was when I was going to Confirmation classes( I was Church of England) and I realized that religion and the worship of invisible deities made no sense to me whatsoever and I concluded that it was a load of nonsense. The whole "saviour" thing, being "saved", the whole of the human race being "sinners", animals not having "souls", whereas humans were given souls by "god". Stuff and nonsense! I just stopped believing overnight.

 

My atheism has not made any difference to relationships either with friends or family. My family wasn't particularly religious anyway.

 

I'm positive that not being a Christian has made me a better person in that I am non-judgemental. A person's color, belief, race or sexuality matters not. I have friends who are a mix of colors, races, beliefs and sexuality.

 

One of my very best friends is Pentacostal and he prays for me and my soul! He is a lay preacher and he is one of THE most judgemental people you could imagine! He hates homosexuals, black people, Asians, anyone of any other race or religion...It really is pathetic and I have to wonder why I am still friends with me, but there you are, love is unconditional, is it not?

 

My wife and daughters, my grandchildren are all atheists and nicer people you would never meet. I have 4 sisters and a brother who are all atheists and they are, like the rest of my family, non-judgemental.

 

My family are all lovers of this planet and the wonders that exist on Earth and we are certain that nothing anywhere on the planet has been created by invisible deities.

 

We are here because of "nature"(for want of a different word), not because of a god invented 2600 years ago by a group of donkey nomads in a tiny place in the Middle East(who had the collective intelligence of a flea when it came to understanding how everything around them happened).

[StevoMuso]

Wow! What a stunning response! Thanks everyone, this is exactly what I'm looking for.

 

Neon Genesis, Shyone, Franko47, OnceConvinced, Soor and I Love Dog ... you guys will soon join Citsonga on the blog.

 

I LOOOVE this. Your stories are all so encouraging - thanks.

[Legion]

Neon Genesis, Shyone, Franko47, OnceConvinced, Soor and I Love Dog ... you guys will soon join Citsonga on the blog.

Damn man, you could have said, "Everyone but Legion makes it to the blog."

 

I don't suppose you'll tell me why my story didn't make the cut, would you Stevo?

 

Too dry? Not emotionally enthralling enough? What was it?

[chefranden]

I started this thread on the Richard Dawkins forum and received stunning responses from all over the world. Then someone directed me to this site and I'm absolutely stunned and excited by the caliber of members here. I think I relate more to you guys than other similar forums because here we are mostly ex-Christians (some atheists grew up in countries like Sweden where religion is almost unheard-of and unusual).

 

I need you to please assist me in some research by answering two questions:

1. What was the final "trigger" that convinced you to become an atheist? (Something you read? Someone you spoke to? That kind of thing.)

2. How did your decision to become an atheist affect your life? (Lost relationships? Clearer view on life? Less judgmental? That kind of thing.)

 

Vital to my research is the county you live in so please start each post with, "I live in [country] ..."

 

Your replies can be one quick paragraph or something a bit more in-depth - it's up to you. I will copy/paste your answers on this thread to my blog at http://couragetodoubt.blogspot.com/

 

I would LOVE to copy some of the stories under the "Personal Testimonies" section but obviously cannot do that without all the appropriate permissions etc.

 

I'm a Unitedstatesian.

 

1. There was no final trigger. My faith just faded away like the new on a new car fades until one day you realize it is an old car now. I tried my best to keep the new -- cleaning and detailing until I was blue in the face -- but it didn't work. It got old anyway.

 

2. I didn't decide to become an atheist. It wasn't like joining the ACLU. It was just what was left over after the faith wore off.

[StevoMuso]

Damn man, you could have said, "Everyone but Legion makes it to the blog."

 

I don't suppose you'll tell me why my story didn't make the cut, would you Stevo?

 

Too dry? Not emotionally enthralling enough? What was it?

 

Legion ... Dude ... sorry brother. I think I must have missed your post for some bizarre reason.

 

Your post is to-the-point, honest and exactly what I needed. Thanks, you are also on the blog and I genuinely appreciate your contribution. My favourite line from your "How-did-it-affect-your-life?" questions is, "I don't lie". I think atheists are way more moral than theists, in general, and "not lying" is a HUGE factor for me.

 

Thanks again bro, and please forgive my oversight (I think you posted while I was busy typing the long post just below yours and I missed it when the thread came back - poor excuse, I know, but an explanation none-the-less.

[ClaraOlive]

I need you to please assist me in some research by answering two questions:

1. What was the final "trigger" that convinced you to become an atheist? (Something you read? Someone you spoke to? That kind of thing.)

2. How did your decision to become an atheist affect your life? (Lost relationships? Clearer view on life? Less judgmental? That kind of thing.)

 

I live in America. When I became an atheist, I lived in the Bible Belt- a Southeastern part of the country that is known for being strongly religious.

 

In one way, there was no trigger for becoming an atheist. When I was younger, I stopped believing in god. I remember sitting in church and realizing that all the prayers were not being heard. However, there wasn't one specific deconversion experience at that point. As I got older, I studied and investigated different belief systems carefully and became increasingly convinced that there was no god.

 

However, because my upbringing was completely seeped in religion, and I was a minor who had no choice but to go to church, go to Christian school, and interact with Christian friends, I spent a long time after that trying to hold contradictory beliefs together. It was mentally and emotionally stressful. Even though I didn't believe in god, I desperately wanted to please my parents and fit into my environment. So I went through convoluted attempts to find some way to regain belief in Christianity.

 

The trigger for totally getting out of Christianity years later was getting divorced from my Christian husband, for a variety of reasons, many not religious. As I watched the other members of my church as well as Christian friends that I'd known since childhood pull away from me, the sinner, I realized that my efforts to keep believing in a god that I didn't actually believe in were total bullshit.

 

So my disbelief was based on thinking and studying rationally, but my social break with Christianity after I'd stopped believing was because of emotional trauma, or at least inability to keep faking it forever.

 

My life has been so much better after leaving Christianity, largely because the nearly schizophrenic disconnect of being one person and being coerced into acting like another person is gone. At first, I was upset about how nearly all my friends deserted me (because I had almost no non-Christian friends), but I've realized that I'm better without them. It has been very difficult that I've had to start all over again with meeting people.

 

I'm definitely more sympathetic and less judgmental. I realize that people's choices are a lot more nuanced than choosing either magic sky daddy's way that will bless them or their own selfish way that will lead to destruction.

[StevoMuso]

Chefranden, your post is on the blog too, thanks.

 

I feel really honored to be getting such a warm response to my request, and from such senior members of the forum with 1000s of posts. You have all made me feel very welcome to this forum ... thanks Ex-C-dot-netters - we! are! fam!ily da da da tadaa

 

Thanks ClaraOlive - insightful and brilliantly written and posted to the blog.