Ex-C vs. Church

[Dio]

Ok, I've been here a little over a year, fresh from my deconversion. This Sunday as I woke up and once again did not go to church, I logged into this site and came to the realization that this place has become my congregation, my assembly, my 'unchurch'. As I considered this, I also realized how much better this is than my old conventional church. For example at ex-C, there is:

 

1. Equality - Everybody here is an equal. We all have equal opportunities to contribute, express ourselves, our views, opinions, even our hangups, doubts, feelings. In church, there's the clergy and the laity. The laity must not question the clergy or elders. The clergy alone carries the message, the word. Everyone must put on a happy face and try to appear 'spiritual' and 'holy'. Of course, even here, some are more equal than others. But that occurs in a purely organic sense. Some here are scientists, others are students, either formally or informally of history, philosophy, cognitive science, cosmology, mathematics, literature, etc. I wouldn't presume to debate or dispute them on their areas of expertise, but they provide a resource, unlike in church, where it was simply a hierarchy. I consider the mods or admins or webmaster as providing a service, much like ushers in church, keeping order and providing smooth flow of operations. None of them come across as superior or high and mighty, although they all are valuable resources as well.

 

2. Diversity - Most Everyone in my former local church lived within the same geographic region, were mostly of the same cultural and socioeconomic background. Here at ex-C, we can 'fellowship' with people from anywhere in America, from coast to coast, even worldwide - Russia, Italy, Germany, Australia, UK, etc. There are people here of vast age ranges, cultural and professional diversity. What an opportunity!

 

3. Support - When I stopped going to church, nobody bothered to call or ask why. I've occasionally run into someone and they are pleasant and ask how I've been, but I think they assume I've just gone to the next church down the street. And believe me, I prefer it this way. Here, I took a few weeks without checking in and got a couple emails, just asking how I am, what's been going on. How nice. Non-judgmental, non-threatening, just real world concern for people. As well, in church I only saw people on Sunday and rarely otherwise. Here, I can pop in any time, 24/7, go into chat, check out the latest discussions, etc.

 

4. Intellectual/Cultural Stimulation - Here, there is virtually no limit as to the topics and the depths of discussion, from current events to history to science to technology, ethics and politics, even much practical day-to-day issues. At church, there is basically one book, one narrow viewpoint, one opinion that matters. One sermon that you must endure, one set of music that you must sing.

 

Anyway, this is just a rant of appreciation to all of you and for this site. While I've had to rebuild my real-world, in-the-flesh life, this place has helped to replace the loss of community and feeling of belonging, and in most ways has even enhanced it over my churchgoing days.

[Taphophilia]

I agree with you so much.

 

What amazes me most about this group of people is the intellegence of the people here and the thought provoking topics. Thinking for yourself and having your own opinoins are not only encouraged but expected.

 

You have no choice but to educate yourself and use your brain when you are on this forum.

 

I would much rather hang out here with a bunch of heathen apostates than Christians.

 

Taph

[Vigile]

I've been asking myself lately why I'm still here. I think you nailed it.

[crazy-tiger]

I quite agree... though I'd have added the diversity of personalities as well. Unlike church, there's no "set" way to be.

If you want to be serious, you can... if you want to be normal, you can... if you want to just goof off and make people laugh, you can. (ask Fwee for pointers )

 

Sure, there's rules... but every community has rules. And maybe that's the biggest difference... Ex-C is a community, church is just somewhere to be taught about Gawd.

[Amethyst]

Agree totally, especially about the support. I never got any real support from church even when my mother was dying. There just people who said they were praying for us, but they didn't even ask how I was dealing with it or tried to talk to me very much beyond "She'll get better, god will heal her, we're praying for her, etc. etc." That's not emotional support, that's just them trying to make themselves feel better and feel like they're actually doing something to help when they really weren't. Even before my mom got sick, I was treated like an outcast. Heaven forbid anyone in church actually has a brain and uses it!

 

And even when I went to the liberal church, I didn't feel like I really belonged there, not after I'd realized that the whole thing was just a myth.

 

What amazes me most about this group of people is the intellegence of the people here and the thought provoking topics. Thinking for yourself and having your own opinoins are not only encouraged but expected.

 

You have no choice but to educate yourself and use your brain when you are on this forum.

 

Yes, exactly! I learn something new almost every time I visit this forum. It's why I keep coming back.

[BlueGiant]

If I could tack on a reason why this is better than church: you save 10%.

[Guest Challenger]

I've never been a Christian, but I like this place for the people. There are some really bright minds here.

 

Who needs church? I'd rather be here.

[knowmad]

Well said Dio.

And yer about the lack of understanding and compassion from xtians.

When my x left me this lady rang me and invited me to celebrate my birthday with hers.

I responded with,"WHAT, I am suicidal, my whole life is crashing around me and you ask me to celebrate my birthday?"

MORONS ! LOL

 

Yer, I like the real people here as opposed to the fake ones religion makes.

Here you can be yourself, warts and all and the best part is you can unload your troubles and people actually feel for you.

I don't like that, I LOVE IT.

[Purple]

If I could tack on a reason why this is better than church: you save 10%.

 

LOL that was my first thought when I read this topic. Why is ExC better then church?

 

NO TITHING!! Yay :: does happy Snoopy dance :::

[Ex-COG]

If I could tack on a reason why this is better than church: you save 10%.

 

And I want my 14 years of 10% back! Hey, if the church promises eternal life, the peace that passes understanding, etc., and they have failed to deliver, can I sue them for breach of contract? Nah, they'd say that all comes from Jesus. Guess I'll have to sue the Only Begotten Son instead.

[MQTA]

and it's open 24x7x365.25

[nirrti]

I can cuss all I want while venting my frustrations and no one would think any less of me. (can't even do that on most message boards)

 

No one will threaten me with hell if I don't think exactly like they do.

 

I can talk to others who are much more intellectually stimulating than the Bible-believing, homophobic, racist and close-minded yokels that make up the majority in my home town.

 

People here are very honest, something I couldn't find even in my pastors.

 

No one putting a guilt-trip on me Sunday after Sunday because I don't have the money to pay their lousy 10%. Churches are worse than the mafia when it comes to getting your money, for god's sake.

 

I don't have to drag my lazy self out of bed every Sunday can log on whenever I want.

 

I can truly be myself here without it being held against me.

 

It's just plain fun!

[♦ nivek ♦]

Mighty impressed by the cross section of folks fro the spectrum of living.

 

Got a question? There will be an answer or direction to one, sans "daGoode larde will Pervide!"

 

Met and IM, PM, or talked to dozens of folks in the last few years, none of which I would have been able to meet "in Church".

 

Know that I am not the sharpest knife in the camp drawer. I learn a hellova lot more here than I could even think of imparting.

 

Decent, kickass people from everywhere make Dave's House the place for me on.line/on.ass...

 

kevinL

[Lanakila]

This is why I keep coming back as well. Thanks Dio for putting it into words.

[whatifidontwantausername?]

The main reason I come here is for acceptance and a sence of belonging.

 

Plus I dont have to worry about being butt raped by a pastor.

 

-Jake

[willybilly30]

I love this place

1. I can totally be myself and express my self and not get banned I thought I would never find a forum so open.

2. Its got humor, things to learn, interesting stuff it’s just great everything about it.

its better than church will ever be.

[Fweethawt]

(ask Fwee for pointers )

 

Oh yeah! I got all kinds'o them!

 

G'head'n pick one!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to Fwee's Pick'a Pointer Palace

 

 

 

 

 

[♦ ficino ♦]

Yes, Dio, I agree with all you say.

 

I don't know whether I wish our community were RT or not. Maybe one of the advantages is that it's virtual. So we don't have to dress up (no, I'm not naked in front of the computer, thank you) don't have to have huge wrangling about a building or finances or elections. On the other hand, I wish I had a real time community like this where I live. I went to a Unitarian church last weekend, but even that had more vague god-blather than I think I want. There's an atheists forum that meets in a bar every month, so I think I'll stop in on the next meeting. I'm a little nervous that it won't seem the same as here, though - I'm scared maybe everyone will be sort of weird with a percentage of outright cranks. That's my insecurity talking so far.

 

Anyway, three cheers for Ex Chr!

[Max]

More advantages:

• No bad music
  
• No sitting still till your legs cramp up.
  
• Nobody checking to see if you're as good as them.
  

[Mr. Neil]

And don't forget, we're funnier than church.

[Amethyst]

And Fwee has cute puppy photos.

[Fweethawt]

And Fwee has cute puppy photos.

Those aren't puppy photos. Those were Pointers.

[BlueGiant]

I do have to agree that the sense of humor, refined sarcasm and some very, very cute pointers add to the reasons why I love this place.