R. S. Martin

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R. S. Martin last won the day on September 23

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About R. S. Martin

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    I do my own thinking

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    https://sarahbowmansite.wordpress.com/
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  • Location
    Ontario, Canada
  • Interests
    learning why people believe what they do and normal stuff like birds, dogs and music
  • More About Me
    Born in a horse and buggy Mennonite community. Unable to find the intellectual stimulation I needed, at age 40 I broke with tradition and got myself a university education. This resulted in alienation from family, friends, and the only lifestyle I knew. I am now trying to find my way in "the world."

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    I have yet to see the evidence
  1. Goodbye Everybody

    Oh, was that yesterday the world was ending? Fortunately I'm behind the times and I'm glad you're still here, knightcore.
  2. Goodbye Everybody

    Unless there's a hurricane, tornado, tsunami, hail, or drought in your local weather forecast, those trees should be okay. Then there's earthquakes, volcanoes, and perhaps a few other natural disasters that alter the world as we know it. If we wait to plant trees until we know this world is a safe place, I'm afraid the world will die from a lack of trees, you know that chemical stuff trees breath into the air that humans need. I'm no scientist but I love trees and they say trees are healthy for humans and pretty much everything else on earth. So long as people are planting trees, there's surely no way the world can end.
  3. Taco Bell Gospel

    See? I told you so. These atheists deny that they are angry at God but just look at this vitriolic response to my witness. ~Pretending to be Hovind reading this thread
  4. Taco Bell Gospel

    I've seen enough Muslims mock Jesus Christ online to guess that Hovind would get called in a dirty manner if the Muslims thought they could get away with it, i.e. the almighty Christian law enforcement won't come down on them or something. If it happened in my local coffee shop, I think the person serving it (Christian, Muslim, atheist, Ms/Mr. Public) would call, "The guy in the back who calls himself Jesus Christ." They'd say it with a straight face, neutral but polite voice. Mr. Tall and Handsome would have to walk all the way to the front to get it. Everyone else would glance up, grunt or mutter, then go back to their own business. He would go down in history as another Jesus nut.
  5. Narcissism and Christianity

    That kind of stuck out but I figured you meant that you now know what was going on and won't let it happen again, to the best of your ability. We need to reach that point of confidence. At the same time, healing is a process. Sometimes I think it's a lifelong process and that it permeates every facet of life and relationships and decision-making.
  6. The Book Your Church Doesn't Want You to Read

    Good point, Joshpantera, it's good for aspiring ex-Christians. For those of us who have done our research and have been out for many years, it's old stuff.
  7. Narcissism and Christianity

    The bolded line is one of the passive-aggressive approaches I was referring to. How can one not think such a person is humble to the level of saintliness, and therefore accept the person's judgment as credible and valid. I think now that this is exactly what the narcissist expects of his/her victims. This strategic use of religious values for selfish gain is exactly what makes it so devastating to the honest unwitting target.
  8. Narcissism and Christianity

    I'm following your advice. Mom died ten years ago but her voice remains in my head and some of my siblings take after her quite strongly. Thus, I find myself still seeking answers on what happened to me. "Know thine enemy" seems to be good advice at times. Anyway, I found an article "11 Signs of Gaslighting in a Relationship." https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-signs-gaslighting-in-relationship It's my mother every step of the way! Some of her favourite lines, when a child expressed a wish or desire or opinion, were a dismissive: You're just imagining things! You don't know what you want! (if it differed with Mom's ideas) You don't know yourself! (meaning the child lacked self-knowledge) You must have forgotten what really happened. You just don't understand. (no explanation would be given to aid understanding differing views) I remember a time in my life when I didn't trust my own perceptions--seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touch--because she contradicted whatever I said so often and inconsistently. Then ridiculed me for not knowing such simple stuff. But denied it when I reminded her of "last time you said so and so." Anne, this is really helping me get some insight. Thanks so very, very much for posting this thread. It feels so good and liberating to find answers even yet, forty and fifty years later.
  9. Praying For Permits

    I received some insight re Christians who get all their prayers answered by a pastor wearing a Jesus T-shirt (a street epistemology video). He said with conviction over and over that every prayer that he prays correctly is answered. Therein lay the catch. If a prayer was not answered, her claimed responsibility for not praying right. That showed me very clearly why not to take these people at face value. I had real needs and I was unable to live with my then-current situation. I could not afford this praying rightly or wrongly approach. When it becomes a life and death matter, sometimes you have to decide that God is not answering; I've got to do what I gotta do. At that point, you don't need to hear about not having enough faith, and that God answers all prayers. Praying for permits, MY ASS! I could pray for daily food and transportation, you name it, I could pray for it and get my prayers answered because I already had the stuff in my possession. Just like those people who knew they would get the permit. But forget about real needs, deep needs.
  10. Says who? He says you can't be an atheist unless you deny God's existence and say you hate God. Is that a mandate from the American Atheists Association? If so, I'm not American. We make our own atheist membership rules. It's open communion. Oops! Maybe you should consult the Centre For Inquiry Canada just to be sure.
  11. Narcissism and Christianity

    I'm another kid with the same mom. It's been so helpful reading this thread. Finally I understand stuff I never could put my finger on. My mother was nothing if not into shaming. If she accidentally slipped out of the spotlight, she stepped right back in. Passive-aggressive as all get-out. Two-faced as the moon. Right now I'm having a hard time with the idea that she lied but I'm sure she did and I put it down to me being too stupid to seeing the obvious--which seemed always to be the case. She once told me, "A person who asks so many questions shows everyone how stupid they are." My much younger sister told me in adulthood that when she saw the way I was treated for asking questions she decided asking questions was not okay. If control is so extremely important, and if narcissists cannot tolerate being wrong, I can now see why my mother seemed to hate me. I could not help seeing flaws of logic. Nor could I help questioning authority. I was born this way. I can't tolerate internal intellectual dissonance. I think my intellect only got sharper the more she tried to manipulate me because her manipulation forced me to find that edge for leverage to protect myself--at least internally if I could not stop the external verbal abuse. Another source of abuse came from the larger community. I was born into a horse and buggy community. Every Sunday we heard sermons on the evils of all other people outside our own community. One could go to hell for wearing the wrong colour, having the parting for one's hair off-centre, laying the pleats on one's dress the wrong way. The list goes on. That's where I started wriggling myself loose--the inconsistencies of these "rules." There were ways around the letter of the law of these rules and my mother made the mistake of being inconsistent in her "rulings." When I pointed out such inconsistencies, she would only sigh as in "Oh RS! You are so exasperating." She would NEVER admit to being wrong, having made a mistake.
  12. Taco Bell Gospel

    My thoughts exactly. Just think what happens when he has kids watching dad telling the restaurant that his name is "Jesus Christ is Lord." What kind of example is he setting anyway? Not truth-telling, that's for sure.
  13. Praying For Permits

    So that's how Christians get every prayer answered--they pray only for things that they know are going to happen anyway. I supposed they tell themselves and their congregations that atheists don't get permits. lol
  14. Religion Destroys Lives

    I know. But what can you do? Violating her wishes is not going to make the fear go away. I agree with you that religion destroys lives. It's so sad.
  15. Religion Destroys Lives

    But how, in a humane manner, do we do it in a situation like this? We can't violate her wishes even if we disagree with them and believe that she is destroying what life she has. In her mind, she has latched onto joy unspeakable that is just "around the corner," the minute she is "called home." We atheists know that death is the end. She does not know this. Let her have the comfort of her delusion if that's what keeps her sane in this difficult time. For her, that is quality life for the time she has left.