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Daffodil last won the day on February 27

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About Daffodil

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  • Birthday 10/26/1967

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    Family, walking/hiking, reading, psychology, simple living, minimalism
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    Easygoing, in awe of nature, insatiably curious, politically independent

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. Just to dip in with a thought, LF, does the creation of arbitrary borders by outside agencies have an influence? I can't say I'm very educated on the histories of these areas, but it occurs to me that India/Pakistan, Israel/Palestine, and some of the middle eastern countries that experience a lot of violence were all created by arbitrary drawing of borders by one of the parties or by another country altogether such as Britain in the case of India/Pakistan in 1947. Arbitrarily drawn lines, with no consideration for previous land ownership by the locals is part of the problem in India/Pakistan, if I'm not mistaken. Don't know if that has anything to do with the Northern Ireland situation, but just a thought.
  2. We've been to Florida a few times for vacation, never to Disney because we hate amusement parks. Liked the gulf side more than the Atlantic. Favorite spot was St. Augustine. Haven't been to the panhandle, yet. Can't speak for the flavor of the people, but it is a beautiful and interesting state.
  3. Wait, what? I thought Florida and Texas were tied for "0 days since . . ." I guess Florida isn't quite as much a lost cause as we thought! http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/05/24/the-univ-of-central-florida-now-explicitly-features-resources-for-atheists-on-its-website-2/
  4. Well, it happened for us after we had kids, so my suggestions need to be taken in that light. It's incredibly fortunate for you that your husband is not fundamental. I am guessing that his church/denomination is of the more mainline variety? If so, then there's MUCH more freedom in interpretation there. They probably wouldn't mind much if the children are told that the Bible is a book of stories written by many people long ago who did not have all the scientific discoveries we have today and were just trying to make sense of what they saw around them. I mean, that is the truth, so you wouldn't be lying! You could then tell them that daddy and many other people believe that god is real, but that you and many other people don't believe that god is real. I think letting them see that two people can believe very different things and still love and care for each other is one of the best ways you can demonstrate humanistic ideals to them. I would definitely hide your anger from them, regardless of how much you seethe inside. That anger comes from your experiences, not their's, and that would counteract the message that people can disagree and still love each other. If they want to ask you about your experiences when they get old enough to handle it, then you can certainly tell them then. Although my preference personally would be like florduh's - not ever taking them to church - I do think there is a benefit to them getting a little education in what people believe so that they can develop their own critical thinking skills in determining what makes sense and what does not. I know an atheist family here whose kids never set foot in a church as they were growing up, and their teenage daughter got sucked into going to church by her friends. Whether her parents had ever sat her down and explained why they were atheist, I don't know, but I think it would definitely have helped in that situation. As to negotiating having kids, I would tell your husband that it is only fair that if he insists they go to church with him, that you get to tell them what you do and don't believe. You don't have to go to church with them, and when they are old enough to decide what they believe, they are free to stay home with you if they so choose. Point out that you want the children to be strong, independent, critical thinkers able to make their own decisions with confidence and not just adopt whatever their parents believe. And I would suggest to you that you promise him that if the kids choose to believe in god, you will not get in their way. Despite what you believe and what you have gone through, that is YOUR story, not theirs. They have a right to write their own story, too. I suspect that if you are open and honest with them as they grow up, and your husband is as well, they will be more likely to follow in your footsteps than in his. Sorry if I got a little preachy at the end! Good luck to you! 😀
  5. What else could it be but terrorist, regardless of the perpetrator's beliefs? So irritating that they call a Christian killing multiple people an "incident", but anything else is terrorist. They're saying it looks like nail bombs.
  6. Can you explain the UK thing to me? I feel a bit dense, but I can't get my brain around it. How can they take your house after you die? Is it that they pay for your care while you live at home, then take your home as payment for caring for you? Sounds a bit like a reverse mortgage? Or am I really confused!?
  7. Good gawd! If it weren't for the continual danger to kids, I would say, Bring It On! The more they do this, the more and faster they will bleed members and become nothing more than an unfortunate blip in history.
  8. Do you all remember the movie Man on the Moon, with Jim Carey portraying Andy Kaufman? There was that scene near the end when he has gone to a "healer" in desperation to cure his cancer. The "healer" performs that fake surgery on his abdomen, and as everyone around him is cheering and praising the healer, Andy sees how the man is faking it and realizes it's hopeless. He laughs and laughs. That scene still haunts me. I agree, best not to lose your faith at a time like this.
  9. Can you explain this a little to me? I saw this somewhere else and it just isn't making sense to me. The only example I know of here in the states is when my husband's grandmother went into a nursing home, she had to live off her savings before Medicare would kick in and pay for her living there. She had tried to gift my husband and I about $10,000 while she still had it, but we were informed that if we took it and she ended up needing Medicare within five years of giving it to us, we could be heavily taxed on it. So, she kept it, blew through it in a few years, then Medicare kicked in. How does that compare to this?
  10. The only things I've heard are from Catholics and Mormons. Catholics don't care if you never return, but they like to keep your name on the books because it makes it look like they're not bleeding numbers as fast as they are. Mormons, on the other hand, apparently do care and will hound you at least for awhile. Outside of that, I've never heard of any other denomination or individual church caring. They usually just chalk it up to you going to some other church or never having been a true believer in the first place. Those membership things really are just for show.
  11. The favorite one I always heard was, "God is building your character, making you more Christlike." Didn't matter what bad thing happened - death of a loved one, lost your job, miscarried a pregnancy, house burned down, got divorced - it literally covered every possible scenario, so how could you complain?
  12. You know, they can do that for you now. How much is 6 years worth to you? 😉
  13. I'm going to die on January 7, 2044. Shit.
  14. That's awesome, LF! I'm glad it went so well! One word of caution, though. I don't want to worry you, but just prepare you. This is new and very final to them. Before, they noticed you were not "all in", but now you have actually made it real to them. It is new and they haven't had time to let it sink in yet. Hopefully this is the way it will stay, but if they are really fundies, then the ultimate consequences of this will not have hit them yet. Especially as they will continue to go to church and hear sermons about how unbelievers go to hell and receive eternal punishment. This issue may yet come back up periodically. Just be prepared to stand your ground with love for them, but with logic as your baseline.