LovelyChantel

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About LovelyChantel

  • Rank
    Doubter

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    USA
  • Interests
    Animals, New Age/Spirituality/Metaphysics/Yoga/Paganism, Abuse awareness, Healing, Growing Plants, Love, Sharing my Story
  • More About Me
    I am a 26 year old female. Survivor of ma0ny types of abuses and religious fundamentalism from birth - 21. But also a receiver of much love too. I LOVE dogs and cats and meditating and alternative spirituality. I love hot tea and taking long walks. I LOVE baths and reading books. But especially I love writing poetry and singing.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Universal Consciousness

Recent Profile Visitors

391 profile views
  1. What symptoms of religious trauma do you struggle with the most? And what do you do to combat these? Personally I've been dx with a myriad of mental and physical health conditions. But the symptoms of religious trauma that I deal with the most are self-injury since I was single digits, severe black and white thinking, extreme difficulty making decisions by myself. I also attempted suicide when I was 16. I have an EXTREME fear of these natural disasters that everyone are claiming are the end times. Fear of hell and the tribulation. Just FEAR! I combat these by meditating, yoga, and positive affirmations.
  2. Did Anyone Else Attend a Private Christian School?

    I'm glad you had positive memories. Mine weren't all bad. But there also was a lot of bad too but I'm so thankful for the good.
  3. I need help

    You're not alone. I can relate. My parents loved me too but also abused me a lot too and it's difficult to contend with. I personally could NOT do it anymore and left when I was 21. I also have been suicidal and even attempted once when I was 16 or so, and have self-injured since I was single digits. If it's really that bad I would move in with someone else. You're in a good place here. We hear you and care. Feel free to PM me. You're not alone.
  4. Telling the parents.

    I have many resources as I have severe codependcy issues also. But Google usually brings about good results and resources. Feel free to PM.
  5. Did Anyone Else Attend a Private Christian School?

    Yes it wasn't all bad. I had great friends up to a point. And there were some good teachers. But in the end they all turned on me once they expelled me. They threatened the other students with expulsion if they didn't all write incriminating (some true but a lot false) things about me, my sex life, things I said, etc.) They found out I wasn't a virgin, 3 weeks before graduation - out of a graduating class of 3 people!! Lol!!
  6. I'm curious how many here attended a private Christian school? I for one attended a private Christian school, grades K - 12th, so from ages 5 - 17. I'm curious how many had the same experiences as myself. •Are your memories of said school(s) pleasant? •Was there any abuse? •Did your school(s) adhere to the same standards of curriculum and punishment as public schools do? For me the punishments were barbaric at times. The punishments ranged from: Public humiliation/shaming from the whole student body and staff in the gymnasium where our crimes were broadcasted Teachers pinching our cheeks into our teeth and hitting our hands with rulers Sitting us in the halls away from other students Making us write out verses or passeges without any mistakes sometimes a hundred or more times My least favorite, in-school suspension - this consisted of shutting said student in a VERY little closet with a small desk, no windows, and no air or heat. Said student could not communicate with other students and could not leave closet without permission (bathroom breaks were allowed but there was a special bathroom where we would go that wasn't where any students were as we could have no contact with them). This in-school lasted up to 3 school days - so 8 hours a day in a very small closet with a little child's desk. Inappropriate sexualized behavior from older students and a teacher towards me at least, I can't say what it was like for the other students. And the curriculum was a joke, all sciences were creationist theory as well as history and economics. It was mostly all about learning the Bible in and out and studying it and researching it. We were not taught anything secular at all and our clothes could not be "of the outside world". We used BJU and Pensacola textbooks mostly. We had chapel every Monday and had to memorize verses and go to yet another closet and recite it to the teacher so other students couldn't hear us. I was personally pulled to the front of the class and told to stand there as the teacher instructed the other students to call me stupid and I quote, "Do not be her friend. She will lead you to hell. Do not be nice to her." The principal even got within inches of my face and screamed so harshly that she spat on me and told me I was vile and a shame to the school. I admit, I had some bad behaviors and was rebellious... But who wouldn't in that place or the home/church life I had to go home to. Lol!!
  7. Telling the parents.

    That's understandable. Do some soul searching and weigh the pros and cons
  8. Telling the parents.

    Yes, all my mom reads is the bible or books about end times prophesy and tribulation and the apocalypse. There's no convincing my parents, they won't even entertain the idea for sake of argument. But I get it because I used to be the same way. I personally have hurt my parents worse as I've cut almost total contact with them since January. And that kills them and I feel guilty.. But you're not alone in this.
  9. LovelyChantel is Here

    Thank you
  10. LovelyChantel is Here

    Yes I do love him. He's my dad. But he is very loving too so it's confusing. I'm mostly here to heal from and gain insight into a life after Christianity. I just gave some history.. was that wrong? I need to begin seeing my therapist again. Have a good day..
  11. Telling the parents.

    Well, it all started with me dating someone when I was 22, and he was 33. They were very unimpressed to say the least. He was and still is (and I am too now) a believer (but not a strict follower) of New Age and metaphysics. I am more a mixture of pagan, new age, and even some Christian doctrines (like 'love that neighbor', etc.) I guess you could say I relate to the term "omnist" the most. He (my bf) helped me gain the courage to speak to them. But it should be noted that I'd been doubting for a few years before.. so I guess it took like 3 or 4 years before I really came out to them. When I did speak to them, my dad accused my bf of stealing me away from him (mostly my dad... yuck...but also God) .. my dad said that my bf is leading me to the devil. My mom was crying and I felt bad but I was just very honest with them. I told them I got some good things such as a few moral codes from the bible but other than that I don't believe. I just had to tell them. They still of course, every chance they get, tell me I'm going to regret it and burn on judgement day. It causes severe panic attacks and feelings of despair that leave me reeling for days but the longer I go, the better it seems to get. It's going on 4 years... I told them I'm okay if they believe but to please have respect for me and my decisions. They said they can't do that because if they don't try to re-convert me they'll be damned... smh... they'll try until they're dead I guess.. So, it feels better being in the open about it even though it did cause some issues. Best of luck..
  12. Weird things you used to believe when you were a Christian

    I was raised to believe that the whole Bible was literal and God-breathed thus I believed the following (and many more to add): • The 6 day creation story and on the 7th day he rested •Women are and always will be subservient to men and that we were made out of a rib bone •That God breathed life into our bodies •That demons can and do oppress us, however if we have Jesus living inside of us then they can't possess us, only oppress us •That Jonah was swallowed by a whale •That we are so blessed by rainbows because it's a holy covenant that God won't flood the whole world ever again •That childbirth didn't used to hurt (haha) •That I'm a wretched person undeserving of good things •That I could lose my assurance of salvation •That we ALL came from 2 people •If I partook of holy communion and didnt believe or was doubting I'd go to hell. •Evolution is of the devil •That something was wrong with me because I didn't speak in tongues
  13. LovelyChantel is Here

    Thank you, that means a lot. Support to you as well
  14. LovelyChantel is Here

    Is yours related to issues within Christianity? If you don't want to answer that's fine. Yep. DDNOS too. Mine are more like aspects.
  15. LovelyChantel is Here

    Maybe why I'm so fragmented. Does anyone else habe dissociative issues or a dissociative disorder?