TruthSeeker0

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About TruthSeeker0

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    Doubter

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    photography, music, psychology, history, hiking, baking
  • More About Me
    Learning to find my genuine self, that's about it.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Nope

Recent Profile Visitors

264 profile views
  1. I know exactly how you feel. Those are the conversations I could try to have with my parents but they would just be too painful for me. The gap is so wide and they will never abandon God at this point. I think it just comes down to that fear of hell that Christians are so conditioned with. And being able to think rationally. And if you believe that thinking rationally itself is a sin than youre screwed, there's no escape from that prison. I will be tempted to start these kinds of discussions, but ultimately it's futile.
  2. And this is me too. Everything was taken literally. And you've no idea how often I've heard the "many are called and few are chosen" verse, and yes it never included other Christians, only this small exclusive sect. I'm sure if I read the Bible over now and counted the number of things that I literally believed to be true id be mind boggled. But thats what its like when youre indoctrinated from day one, it takes half of your life to wake up to the lie.
  3. Congrats to Mrs Geezer

    Congrats to Mrs and Mr Geezer!
  4. Thoughts On Crying?

    Well you can, next time you feel the urge just let go. It's extremely difficult to let go though. My first instinct still is to feel ashamed and hide from other people, even my family. Why I feel so much shame over it is hard to put into words, I guess it just has a lot to do with modeling and what I came to believe as my parents never cried openly. I can imagine how much harder it is when you equate it to bring "macho." I'm finally getting to a place where I don't hold back, and it feels great, it's much easier to process the emotion when you just let it all out.
  5. So much guilt...

    Welcome Christy, your story sounds pretty familiar to mine. I've never felt close to god either and guilt was what controlled me. Basically I stayed in the church because my doubts were deep enough down there that it took a lot for them to surface. And I know the sense of freedom youre feeling, isn't it awesome after all that guilt and depression because you just didn't feel good enough? No amount of forgiveness equaled that feeling of freedom for me when it finally arrived. It's very very hard to deal with parents and let them know... Several months down the road I'm still trying to find the courage to do it myself. Don't rush it, give yourself time to adapt and gain strength before and if you go through with that. I wouldn't go through with it at all personally if it wasn't necessary, but it is because I can't live a pretense. Welcome to ex-c, we are glad to have you here 🙂 -TS
  6. LovelyChantel is Here

    Welcome, and don't feel that you have to go, you've come to a good place where people will listen even though we cannot substitute for professional therapists. I hope you do have a therapist to help you work through the issues. You have been through a lot it sounds like, and we are here to offer (((hugs)) and support to you. Hang in there!
  7. Quarter Life Crisis....?

    Florduh as l has a valid point, we never do have all the answers. And I'm think that's just fine. Why should life be cookie cutter? Why not just enjoy the journey instead of always thinking what the destination is or the end goal or ideal accomplishment? I understand where you are coming from though, I used to think like that at your age, and now I'm much older and am still in the process of "figuring myself out" career wise. It really is ok. Not everyone has to have it all mapped out. When you go on a road trip isn't it pretty boring when you focus on just checking off all the boxes of what you were supposed to see rather than taking detours and finding unexpected surprises? And life can be the same. Sometimes you find what you were looking for where and when you least expect it.
  8. Another one of 'God's gifts"

    Ah yes. I suppose one can trot out that biblical phrase about the sins of the fathers being passed onto later generations 😉 As someone with mild asthma with relatives in earlier generations who literally died of it, I have to conclude we must have been a particularly sinful bunch. And that's only the asthma! 😛
  9. Anger at Christianity

    I feel your pain. This is my greatest regret, that almost a couple decades of my adult life were spent in xtianity and that I made choices I would never make now. However, I try to dwell on it as little as possible and plan only for the future. Afterall, it could have been worse, I could have spent the rest of my life in the church, and what a waste that would have been.
  10. Anger at Christianity

    I have a substantial amount of anger. Whether that is going to lessen with time, I don't know. But I am very angry that Xtianity means that I'm going to suffer for the divide between myself and my xtian family, and even moreso, that my xtian family is going to suffer needlessly about my going to hell because they are so brainwashed. So I hold a lot of anger towards the religion but not to those who believe it, most are largely victims who have no idea what they are caught up in. I wish I stood a chance of helping them escape, but I fear their need for this sky daddy sense of comfort is too great and they are too conditioned into the "thinking otherwise is of the devil" attitude.
  11. Yes exactly. Why tell kids about a god who loved them enough that he decided a human blood sacrifice was required to forgive them for sins? Why tell them about a loving god who couldn't just forgive them anyway, but decided it was more entertainment for himself to watch people suffer. Why tell them all that pleasant shit?
  12. What exactly is the point of sunday school then? So sunday school up until that magical age of accountability is a place where children go to learn only about all the wonderful Jesus love stuff, and the reality of Christianity isn't introduced to kids until after that age of accountability? In my church the understanding was that until the age of accountability, anyone who died automatically went to heaven. Regardless of that doctrine, we were introduced to the concept of hell around age 4 and I vividly recall having nightmares about if I would go to heaven if I was to die at night, with all the sinning I had done. Regardless of all this, I agree with Yunea, anyone teaching kids about hell and telling them that their loved ones might go there is abusing them. I'd really like to know why as a sunday school teacher I was expected to teach and even better instill the fear of hell in kids, when there was no reason to. Oh, perhaps it had something to do with the expectation that children are to be brainwashed from a young age, lest that fear doesn't become great enough and they somehow stray from the right path later on in life.
  13. How and Why I Left Christianity

    That was quite the story Dirwid. And it was so well said that I hope you don't mind if I also copy and paste a few notes for myself to use when or if people ask my why I abandoned my beliefs. My deconversion happened a lot quicker as Richard Dawkins did all the thinking for me and all I had to do was read his book and have my mind blown apart, lol. Welcome to ex-c, it's a good place to be. -TS
  14. Trying to Make Sense of it All

    Welcome TinMan. There has been some excellent advice given to you on resources in regards to the questions you have. It's true, it is a process, and education is the key to getting the answers you seek. Have an open mind, read a lot, stay on this forum, there have been excellent conversations and many about the questions you have posted here. I sleuthed through them myself and read a lot, and as I read the fear began to fall away. It takes time, but knowledge is your best ally in getting rid of the fear. If you use your critical thinking skills and reason you'll find yourself in a place where life is much better. I was where you are at only a few short months ago. It was a confusing time but it gave me a gift I wouldnt trade for anything, freedom from fear. -TS
  15. Howdy guys

    Welcome Mike! This is a good place to be and it helps with getting rid of the residue. -TS