skysoar15

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skysoar15 last won the day on April 7

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About skysoar15

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    College alumni for six months looking for people who feel the same way. Been a Christian for five and half years now, and I am honestly fed up with it. Need people who get it.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Not right now.

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  1. Same here. Not that we were any better when we were following it, but if a person is going to follow Christianity...then they should follow it. Of course, most people in America go for a watered down version that asks nothing but church attendance, but I digress. However, this once again proves how screwed up Christianity is. It's not like the 'Holy Spirit' is exactly rushing to clear things up for her.
  2. 1.) I think a friend is somebody who encourages you to become better while supporting your passions and dreams. 2.) They will tell you how it is even if it means risking the friendship if you need to hear it. 3.) A friend is somebody you can approach without feeling judged. Quite honestly, I'm still trying to figure out what friendship means. Had no real friends growing up and in college, I got plugged into college ministry. I believed I had true friendships there...but I'm realizing that most of it was Jesus centered and thus on a faulty foundation. I didn't know how to make friends growing up, but I have been a friend to enough people to know that the above 3 points are fairly accurate. Taking off these Jesus blinders has been hard.
  3. My words from the conversation: Me: "I know not expecting you to talk Christ would be like expecting water not to be wet." (knowing him well enough to say that). He said, "Pretty much." I told him, "I'm not sure how much longer this friendship can last with us seeing things so differently. This friendship was started on Jesus." He said: "I want you the way you are now, bro." I told him, "I know you. You say you want me now, but what you really want is for me to come back to the guy I was. I can't do that." He finally said, "Well, Jesus is a big part of my life, and if that offends you then I'm sorry but I won't tone down anything just to make you feel more comfortable." I told him, "Well, I guess that's just the way it is." (The conversation basically ended there.) To be fair, he is one of the more self-centered Christians. Many of my other Christian friends would and have tried to just spend time with me without forcing it down my throats. My only issue with them is that I know eventually they would try to win me back or get frustrated trying. I know some of you would say, "Just keep them in your life and see what happens." With some friends I may be able to do that, but there's no way I will keep a good chunk of friends who believe that I am living a lie. I'm getting to a point where I just don't care about how I come off to them. Be polite, sure, but beyond that...I'm losing the ability to care. These friendships are inevitably doomed, so why not just let the truth come out and let it end faster on my terms? I'd rather that happen than watch the friendships die slowly while seeing the disappointment in their faces over my life choices.
  4. What source do you have that Strobel lied about it? I'm interested in looking at it. (That's indeed a huge lie).
  5. Interestingly enough, they regularly show Strobel abusing alcohol during his quest to debunk Christianity. Alcohol + overwhelming desire to save marriage + insecurities with father figure = Pretty strong confirmation bias. Not that I'm trying to act like the movie is 100 percent historically accurate, but it probably didn't make up any of the above either.
  6. Update: Told my friend my feelings about the matter. He essentially stated that 'Christ is a big part of my life and I'm not going to tone it down just because it makes you feel a certain way." More or less what I predicted. We parted ways. The talk wasn't vicious, but it was honest. His last words were: "If you ever want to talk again, I'll be here." Glad it wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be.
  7. I'm definitely sure. He is in complete disbelief that I've given it up. As long as he's in my life, he will try in some way to win me back to Christ. A friendship with him right now is impossible.
  8. Birthday or not is irrelevant. He would have pulled this crap even without his birthday being involved. I just had sympathy since it was. This friendship can't go on anymore. I'll find a way to tell him. Gently at first, mercilessly if he pushes hard. I also won't go out of my way to tell him unless he calls first. This is just the way it has to be.
  9. I will be reading this as well. I've been having doubts about many things lately. This should be good.
  10. I know a good deal of Christian people. I also don't use names a lot of the time when I write about them. I've cut ties with the guy who invited me to church. This is another friend who I knew back when I was a small group leader. He was in my group and we were good friends. Since his birthday is on Monday, I decided to see if he wanted to spend time with me and get away from his hectic marriage for a night. I didn't realize I had to suddenly walk on eggshells around most of the people I've loved. So while you're right in not letting people essentially walk all over me, I don't think you understand how deep these friendships went. I am figuring this out one hard lesson at a time. None of this is easy.
  11. Thank you! I will check those out.
  12. With all due respect, nutrichuckles, don't you get it? I've been in the game before. We both have. When it comes to stuff like what he pulled, there are no feelings to be considered. Even as a Christian, pulling that type of manipulation wasn't my style. Ironically, although he enjoyed the movie...he claimed it was super long. I believe it was because it was actually trying to be a real movie and worked damn harder than other faith films to avoid seeming like a propaganda piece. But what he did was what being a 'brother in Christ' is all about. He aimed to "strike at my heart." He asked repeatedly in a joking way if I wanted to punch him in the face. He even said: "Go ahead, feel free" in a non-ironic way. This guy is serious about trying to win me back...and as long as he remains in my life, he will continue to pull crap like that. He IS more pushy about it than some of the Christian people I know...which is becoming a problem. He expected a 'come to Jesus' moment. Had I been weaker, I would have fallen for it. I armed myself with hundreds of read posts on here before I spent time with him yesterday. All his move did was make me angry. He stated with his actions that he cared more about Jesus than my feelings. Ironically, he did right by 'the Gospel.' Hooray. But he just lost ME.
  13. This entire post is copy & pasted from another thread update. It was strong enough to warrant a thread on its own. A friend from out of town and I hung out tonight, ate dinner, and caught a movie. I prepared myself for any possible manipulations for him to try to win me back to 'Christ.' The car ride was fine at first. We were just talking as normal adults getting adjusted to adulthood. He told me about his marriage and job situation while I told him about my struggle to craft a successful grad portfolio. As we were about to get tickets to watch Fast and Furious 8 (because why not), he lovingly begs and pleads for us to see 'The Case For Christ' instead. This being a cheap college town theater, tickets were not expensive...but I froze. Here I was...celebrating having my old friend back in town to spend time with him before his birthday. Like a child, he pleaded for us to see 'Case For Christ.' I froze for about four minutes...with the newly bought Fast 8 tickets right in my hand. He even asked the ticket booth people what they suggested we see. Most of them suggested 'Case For Christ.' Now I'm not saying Fast 8 was going to be a masterpiece, but it was just going to be a good time. For the good of my friend, I reluctantly traded those tickets for 'Case For Christ' instead. He bought me dinner as a way of showing gratitude, and in a lovingly 'Christ' like way, he knew that I hated him for it. However, he basically stated that uncomfortability was a good thing to push us toward the truth. I was pissed for most of the meal, trying to keep my conversation to a minimum. I felt manipulated. We sit down and watch the movie. To my surprise, it is actually a well-crafted (especially for a faith-based film) movie. It was a period piece about how author Lee Strobel searched obsessively for answers disproving the resurrection of Christ. His wife had just become a Christian and he was working hard to save his marriage, feeling increasingly alienated from her new way of life. I related to Strobel through the entire journey as he wrestled with anger toward losing his marriage, his drunken fight with his wife over the fact that she 'loved' Jesus more than him, and the general attitude he held throughout the whole film. Every person that he questions leads him between a rock and a hard place. He spends the entire film trying to disprove it. Eventually, he learns to accept that the resurrection did occur and that he can't find anything to disprove it. The film was moving. But I was angry. I spoke little as my friend dropped me back as my place and headed back to his hometown. My first thought was to post on here. I know I should have stood my ground... but I chose to see what he wanted to see. I'm still not sure about anything anymore. The movie wasn't perfect, but watching this guy slowly turn from a hardcase atheist to a new believer was surprisingly convincing. This wasn't one of those preachy "God's Not Dead" type films where very atheist is an evil person out to ruin a Christian's life. Here, we see this man (an atheist) as a loving husband and father who sees his entire world fall apart as his wife becomes a Christian and someone who researches desperately to debunk her beliefs to save their marriage. After the movie, I knew that I couldn't latch onto feelings. But I am even more confused than ever. I am perfectly willing to cut ties with my friend now. Perfectly willing. I once found the idea of it hard...but now I see that my sanity is at stake. Holy shit.
  14. Update: So my friend and I hung out tonight, ate dinner, and caught a movie. I prepared myself for any possible manipulations for him to try to win me back. The car ride was fine at first. We were just talking as normal adults getting adjusted to adulthood. He told me about his marriage and job situation while I told him about my struggle to craft a successful grad portfolio. As we were about to get tickets to watch Fast and Furious 8 (because why not), he lovingly begs and pleads for us to see 'The Case For Christ' instead. This being a cheap college town theater, tickets were not expensive...but I froze. Here I was...celebrating having my old friend back in town to spend time with him before his birthday. Like a child, he pleaded for us to see 'Case For Christ.' I froze for about four minutes...with the newly bought Fast 8 tickets right in my hand. He even asked the ticket booth people what they suggested we see. Most of them suggested 'Case For Christ.' Now I'm not saying Fast 8 was going to be a masterpiece. Those movies are trash and they know it. But it was just going to be a good time. For the good of my friend, I reluctantly traded those tickets for 'Case For Christ' instead. He bought me dinner as a way of showing gratitude, and in a lovingly 'Christ' like way knew that I hated him for it. However, he basically stated that uncomfortability was a good thing to push us toward the truth. I was pissed for most of the meal, trying to keep my conversation to a minimum. I felt manipulated. We sit down and watch the movie. To my surprise, it is actually a well-crafted (especially for a faith-based film) movie. It was a period piece about how author Lee Strobel searched obsessively for answers disproving the resurrection of Christ. His wife had just become a Christian and he was working hard to save his marriage, feeling increasingly alienated from her new way of life. I related to Strobel through the entire journey as he wrestled with anger toward losing his marriage, his drunken fight with his wife over the fact that she 'loved' Jesus more than him, and the general attitude he held throughout the whole film. Every person that he questions leads him between a rock and a hard place. He spends the entire film trying to disprove it. Eventually, he learns to accept that the resurrection did occur and that he can't find anything to disprove it. The film was moving. But I was angry. I spoke little as my friend dropped me back as my place and headed back to his hometown. My first thought was to post on here. I know I should have stood my ground... but I chose to see what he wanted to see. I'm still not sure about anything anymore. The movie wasn't perfect, but watching this guy slowly turn from a hardcase atheist to a new believer was surprisingly convincing. This wasn't one of those preachy "God's Not Dead" type films where very atheist is an evil person out to ruin a Christian's life. Here, we see this man (an atheist) as a loving husband and father who sees his entire world fall apart as his wife becomes a Christian and someone who researches desperately to debunk her beliefs to save their marriage. After the movie, I knew that I couldn't latch onto feelings. But I am even more confused than ever. I am perfectly willing to cut ties with my friend now. Perfectly willing. I once found the idea of it hard...but now I see that my sanity is at stake. Holy shit.
  15. Kudos to your toughness. I can't imagine cutting ties completely with the people I've been close to. It pains me to think about it. It'll help once I am able to leave this college town, which should be by this summer's end. (Hard to be mobile when you don't have a car). Sounds like you cut ties pretty abruptly. I can't assume anything about your friendships, but were they super deep when you were in the faith? Cutting some of these friendships are like removing an arm. It sucks. (Then again...if I was able to let go of Christianity... I suppose anything's possible). Maybe it just sucks emotionally. Practically, I might just need to develop a thicker skin.