Ataraxia

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About Ataraxia

  • Rank
    Questioner

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    Reading, writing, EDM music, exercising, crafting, and baking.
  • More About Me
    I have an insatiable curiosity that results in constant trips to the library, as well as a penchant for long conversations surrounding philosophy and literature.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Does philosophy count?

Recent Profile Visitors

280 profile views
  1. Hello

    Welcome, Figures! That was a beautiful introduction, especially the idea of your self becoming more concrete while everything else is destroyed. I am new to this site and my own deconversion as well and completely understand this notion. Though I am building up the concept of myself each day, the beliefs I once held onto are being destroyed at the same time. But this just means I can live for myself now, not for the borrowed ideas of an antiquated culture. Glad you found the site and hope to see you around!
  2. Poem: Painful Reaction

    Thank you Shinobi! I'm currently working on a collection of poems that are similarly about religion... *maybe* one day they'll be published
  3. To Tell or Not To Tell...

    This is very true, Lucy. When I was a Christian, the compulsion to discuss one of my own friend's atheism was almost too much to bear at times. If only he truly understood God....of course, I see through these lies now, but for a believer they are still very much at hand. Which is why I hesitate to tell all my friends, as sometimes I wonder if it is better to sacrifice truth for the sake of not being pestered and having every conversation turn into a religious debate. Not that I mind religious debates, but when they become closed discourse with one side refusing to be open-minded, they are wearisome.
  4. I'm Doing the Deconversion Thing

    Thank you disillusioned and ficino! And ficino--I"m glad you noticed my screen name! I love the Greeks Coincidentally, I saw the discussion on the cosmological argument and felt entirely overwhelmed! You all have read so much more than me, especially by delving into the science side of things (black holes, quantum mechanics, etc.) I want to contribute but feel I have nothing insightful to add haha but I enjoyed reading the discussion! Would also love book recommendations on the cosmological and similar topics.
  5. To Tell or Not To Tell...

    I'm sorry about your experience, crazyguy123. I want to avoid being seen as the communal "project" that can be passed around until someone strikes a chord within me (in the unlikely event of that happening). Actually, I just told one of my other very good friends and her reaction was everything I hoped for. She was respectful and did not challenge my beliefs, as she voiced that she would not want anyone to change her beliefs in the opposite position. I did, however, emphasize to her not to spread it around and she was more than understanding. If only everyone could be as receptive as she was....
  6. Christian contradictions

    I think this last one is my favorite by far. There was a post recently discussing the Cosmological Argument (and in particular the Kalam Cosmological Argument) and part of this argument's "success" for the Christian is the fact that the world/time cannot be eternal, leading the universe to have a first cause. Naturally, theists assert this first cause as God. The irony lies in the fact that 1) their God is eternal 2) the heaven they desire is eternal, even though to prove their eternal God and heaven the universe/time must not be eternal...cherry picking at its finest.
  7. To Tell or Not To Tell...

    Thank you sdelsolray! I will definitely have to have a followup conversation with her...and if something similar happens afterwards, that will be a red flag defining the rest of the friendship.
  8. To Tell or Not To Tell...

    Hello all. I am in the midst of my deconversion and especially the process of "coming out" to people about my new views. Recently, I opened up to my best friend and confided in her about my deconversion. At first, her response was the typical, "Why don't you believe?" "What are your reasons?" etc etc (with her not realizing the burden of proof is actually on proving a nonexistent being....anyway) Then, she seemed to accept it and we moved onto other topics without spending an inordinate amount of time on my new position. A few days later, she texted me saying she had talked to a leader at her church about my "doubts" and that this leader wanted to talk to me about them, if that was alright with me. I told her I was not comfortable with this situation, as I don't know the leader and do not have trust built up in said leader. I did, however, ask what she had told the leader about me (as I had not given her permission to talk about me in this way). She responded that she had told the leader that I was having "questions in my faith." The conversation stopped soon after that. I am mad at her for talking about me to others, acting as though I'm something broken that needs to be fixed, and especially for invalidating my deconversion by behaving as though I am merely having "doubts" or "questions" about my "faith" when in reality I have no doubts, only decisions I have made against belief. My question is: how do I navigate interactions such as these and should I even tell my other friends, who belong in a very Catholic community? How have other people handled these situations and what way have they found works best?
  9. Poem: Painful Reaction

    Hello all! Below is just one poem from a collection of poems I'm working on that describes my deconversion. In this poem I imagine a typical reaction to my new position. Enjoy! The scooped her fingers In my throat Scraped the sides And dislodged the word ‘Atheist.’ Dripping in blood And demands. “Look! That’s how much pain It’s cost you.” But you were the one Who caused the pain.
  10. I'm Doing the Deconversion Thing

    Thank you all for the support and welcoming atmosphere! I look forward to many great discussions in the future!
  11. Why Bad Stuff Happens

    Thanks for the correction Citsonga! I will definitely have to brush up on my reading without the ingrained Christian blinders on!
  12. Hello all! As I’m new to Ex-C, I thought I would take a moment to introduce myself and give a little background on how I stumbled upon this community. I grew up as a Roman Catholic in the Bible belt. Ironically, combining my geographical location with my belief system in a way isolated me from the evangelical Christians that inhabit much of the South. Catholics are a minority where I’m from and I would often receive questions such as “Catholics are Christians, right?” or “But, don’t you worship Mary?” This isolation in turn drove me to take refuge in Catholic communities my whole life, which began to determine who most of my friends became. But I digress: this is not a story of being Catholic, but one of becoming a non-believer. I added this anecdotal history merely to show that I am used to the feeling of being isolated when it comes to religion. So to begin...fast forward to the end of high school, where I first learned about a branch of thought that seemed terrifying: philosophy. Philosophy was the catalyst for my deconversion by offering me viewpoints differing from my own and forcing me to expand my mind and think critically rather than rely on the thoughts of others. I began to experience doubts about God, and strove towards “proofs” for God to justify my beliefs. Ultimately, all of these proofs failed when I critically examined the arguments they tried to uphold (ontological, cosmological, teleological, moral--I guess). Upon realizing this, the authenticity of the Bible was called into question and I began to recognize its flaws. Then I noticed extreme hypocrisy within the (mostly Catholic) Christians I called my friends; they would glorify teachings of love while doling out hate through much of their wider social discourse. Finally, I began to research the beginnings of religion and started to learn about the psychological tactics religions use to perpetuate indoctrination in order to gain followers. With this last point, the veil came away from my eyes and I finally saw truth. The moment of me lifting the veil from my eyes was recent—as in, within the past month, though the journey to this point has been several years. Now, I believe we live in a godless universe. (Most) everyone else I know believes the opposite. I am at odds with most of the people I love and trust and am unsure how to express these feelings. Cue the wonderful thing called the Internet, and my search finding other Christians who have deconverted. That was when I found Ex-C, this wonderful community full of resources and support for anyone who has or currently is undergoing this painful transformation of beliefs and ideals. I am so happy to be here and am willing to learn and listen and grow in my experience!
  13. Why Bad Stuff Happens

    "So to rephrase my original post: If there is a god, why do disasters and tragedies occur to everyone, the believer and non believer alike? Disasters and tragedies happen to people because of the fall in the Garden of Eden." Personally, I never understood how evil can be solely attributed to 'the fall,' even from a Christian perspective. The problem with saying evil entered the world with Adam and Eve is that evil already had entered the world. According to the story, Satan tempted Eve with the fruit, meaning evil (in the form of Satan) already existed. The next question becomes, where did Satan come from? According to Christians, Satan was a fallen angel, meaning God created Satan. I suppose Satan still had some reserve of free will to choose to defy God, but this does not change the fact that God created the angel that became Satan. The next question I would ask is: why would an all-knowing (and timeless) God create a being he knew would become the epitome of evil in the world? And further, why let this being even enter The Garden of Eden? Surely an all-powerful God could have prevented this unwanted intrusion. But by deliberately making an off-limits fruit tree (The Tree of KNOWLEDGE of Good and Evil, no less) and allowing an evil being to enter paradise, it sort of seems like God was setting Adam and Eve up to fail? If they had no knowledge of good and evil, how would they know to choose God over Satan? The point I am ultimately trying to convey is that Christians attributing evil to 'the fall' is false. Evil already existed and we have to ask who created the already present evil.