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About mich

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    freethinker, healthy eating, music, teaching, homeschool
  • More About Me
    i have always looked for the truth in life. The best education, the best healthy diet, The best religion....The truth about life. so much of which i was deceived for most of my life. Music helps me get through my day. Would love to talk with others on a similar path.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    an unknown god, if he exists
  1. So Painful...

    What a warm welcome. Thank you so much. I know it was rude to just barge in with my pain and story in a tiny nutshell (it's really a book). As far as professional help, I am trying to hide it so that may not work. My husband knows i have anxious spells lately, though doesn't know how bad and doesn't know why. Also, I don't want to be medicated due to side effects. I was on xanax after the loss of my child and was glad to get off. (though at times i wished i had one of those pills back again) . I can relate with the 'oh, so god had nothing to do with this' . My story is very long and detailed. I have enjoyed reading the posts and will continue to post as well, though, it may be a few days before i am able to get back. Thanks for the ((hug))! I needed that....
  2. An odd week followed by a nasty month.

    Those 'feelings' and experiences were some the the hardest to figure out for me. And some i still don't understand. But something that helps me with it is knowing that we can 'feel' a certain way based on what we believe at the time. For example, if we are home alone at night and hear a noise that sounds like someone might be breaking in, we 'feel' fear. But it was only the dog. The fear was real. But it was based on a lie. If you just 'thought' you won the lottery, you would get very excited, but they were mistaken, sorry it wasn't your number after all. That feeling of happiness was real, based on something that wasn't. Any way, it makes sense to me. One can 'feel' that they are loved by god and given everlasting life. If one believes this, it will bring all kinds of awesome feelings....
  3. So Painful...

    I gave so much of my life to my religion. I made so many decisions based on what i believed, based on that book. I have lost my spouse and child to death after joining this religion, both at a tender young age. I blame the religion. I kept making excuses for god. Blessings in disguise. We'll understand it by and by. I was still trying to make excuses after all these years. it was just meant to be. I held on. 'god, you held back the waters of the red sea, so i know you can do this'. Very devout i was , or tried to be. It was very hard after the more recent death of my child. But in order to survive i had to keep trying to make excuses as to why god didn't pull through after i had turned everything over to him and trusted that he would take care of it all..... I never considered, till this year, that the bible might not have been written by god. Why would we never even question that? Just take what men have handed down to us? Why didn't we ever consider that we were being lied to. It all seemed so real.....But now i know. Too late to save my spouse and child. To late to live the life i would have lived. Now I am stuck in the wrong life. In the wrong state. Estranged from most of my family and old friends. Middle aged and no where to go. Full of anxiety and depression and losing the will to live. That's my intro. Is there a 'religiously traumatized' section here? Most say that well a little religion won't hurt you, going to functions etc. I beg to differ. It is extremely dangerous. I realize that my story is an exception to most. Anyway, I hope to get some help in this community. I am closeted. So i am alone. The bible is evil. And a good religion cannot be based on an evil book. So....where to go from here.....Thank you for listening.