I gave so much of my life to my religion. I made so many decisions based on what i believed, based on that book. I have lost my spouse and child to death after joining this religion, both at a tender young age. I blame the religion. I kept making excuses for god. Blessings in disguise. We'll understand it by and by. I was still trying to make excuses after all these years. it was just meant to be. I held on. 'god, you held back the waters of the red sea, so i know you can do this'. Very devout i was , or tried to be. It was very hard after the more recent death of my child. But in order to survive i had to keep trying to make excuses as to why god didn't pull through after i had turned everything over to him and trusted that he would take care of it all..... I never considered, till this year, that the bible might not have been written by god. Why would we never even question that? Just take what men have handed down to us? Why didn't we ever consider that we were being lied to. It all seemed so real.....But now i know. Too late to save my spouse and child. To late to live the life i would have lived. Now I am stuck in the wrong life. In the wrong state. Estranged from most of my family and old friends. Middle aged and no where to go. Full of anxiety and depression and losing the will to live. That's my intro. Is there a 'religiously traumatized' section here? Most say that well a little religion won't hurt you, going to functions etc. I beg to differ. It is extremely dangerous. I realize that my story is an exception to most. Anyway, I hope to get some help in this community. I am closeted. So i am alone. The bible is evil. And a good religion cannot be based on an evil book. So....where to go from here.....Thank you for listening.