Fuego

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Fuego last won the day on July 31 2016

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About Fuego

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    Infidel
  • Birthday 03/18/1964

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Vancouver, WA
  • Interests
    singing, writing, computer geekery, cooking, science experiments, foreign languages, photography, gemstones
  • More About Me
    Was an "on fire" Christian for 30 years, now I lean more towards a pagan-ish bent. I have been in transition since October 2007, so I doubt that I've stopped changing just yet.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    communing with nature

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  1. They never really define witchcraft. When we look at the odd behaviors of Jacob with the sheep breeding in front of various tree branches, that sure looks like witchcraft of a kind. Then there was Elijah with the stick in the water to float an ax head. Then Jesus rubbing mud in a guys eyes. Odd stuff that they really don't talk about much in church, but smacks of witchcraft methods instead of divine intervention.
  2. Inconsiderate Christians

    Yep, par for the course. "Can't you see we're attacking demons?! God can't do this shit without us." Glory! Shabach malakatasha. Robotando brrrata. Klaatu barada nikto.
  3. I had the song "No Compromise" playing in my head this morning. I was thinking over how he was one of the first artists I had as a new believer, and how I was drawn not so much to his style as to the revolutionary fervor he had. I didn't find that in church, but there were believers like me that wanted the fire. That stayed true for 30 years for me. I thought I had finally found it in some charismatic/pentecostal services where I felt power come on me like I'd heard described in the Shaker and Quaker movements. I'd already heard a voice speak to me clearly which was amazing to me and ignored as fantasy by other believers. 9 years after the services where I felt power, came the cold reality that I'd been lied to (first by a man claiming amazing miracles). I spent the next year fasting and praying trying to find answers as to why he would even need to make up stories...if the promises were true. That was the same year the polygamist cults from Oklahoma were in the news. I wondered aloud to myself how anyone could believe such stupid things, then realized with chagrin that I had believed some pretty stupid things, and been kept tricked for 30 years. Then I asked myself "I wonder what else I've believed that is a lie". I felt myself squirm inside because finally I had reached the core - was any of it true? I began asking questions that I'd shelved over the years: Why is the god of the bible so primitive and cruel? Why is he such a jerk to people? Why is he so interested in blood? Why the magic fruit tree and talking snake (not Satan, a snake), which was clearly a set-up? Why does he bless genocide? Why does he wink at mass rape, or make a victim marry the rapist? Why was the tower of Babel even a thing, when we build skyscrapers higher than they could, and we have airplanes that go above the clouds, and we've been to the moon? Why the conflicting genealogies of Jesus? Why didn't you tell me I was being lied to by the pastor for the last 9 years? What did I feel in the services if it wasn't you? What voice spoke to me repeatedly if it wasn't you? I got only silence. I began searching for the concept of "ex-Christian" and found this site. A month later I was an ex-Christian. When I heard Keith in my head this morning, the words held the same revolutionary fervor they had back then. I still have a burning flame for the truth, which is why I can't stomach much politics I see today from either camp. I remembered a scene from a film where a young revolutionary Vietnamese girl goes with two men into the fields to help with the Revolution only to be raped by them. Then she saw the difference between what was spoken and the reality. All the promises sounded wonderful, until it came time to collect on them. Then there were only excuses and other believers telling me to trust. Next month will be my 10th year as an ex-Christian. I've learned so much about the lies of the scriptures in that time, things I wish I had known back in 1980 when I was a shy superstitious boy with a revolutionary bent. Sorry Keith, you were tricked like I was. I still hear your fervor and desire for a real god, instead of the good-as-dead one for which churches settle. I wish all of our fervor had done some good. I hope that I can still do some good with the time I have remaining.
  4. How to be saved

    Playing Fundy's Advocate for a second, the loophole used for law/Jesus is that he "fulfilled" the law, thus removing it from believers but it still stands for unbelievers (which also isn't accurate because non-Jews were never under the law). However, the other apostles also dragged the law back into Christianity (which is often flat ignored by preachers of all types) when they decided to not command circumcision, but instead imposed regulations on the new Gentile believers to not eat blood or food sacrificed to idols and to abstain from sex outside of marriage. Their reason for this? Moses. Not Jesus, Moses. So much for fulfilling the law. Acts 15:20-21 "Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood. For the law of Moses has been preached in every city from the earliest times and is read in the synagogues on every Sabbath." I've heard pastors preach that Jesus didn't fulfill the MORAL law, so we are still bound by that, but the dietary restrictions are all gone. Yet from those two verses, it is clear that the apostles themselves imposed a dietary restriction purely because they were Jews and wanted something of Moses in this newly founded faith that the Gentiles also had to follow. The implication is also that the Jewish believers still had to follow the rest as well, and only Paul threw a fit about that with his "if you allow yourself to be circumcised you are required to follow all of the law". So how many preachers like gravy on their mashed taters? How about rare steaks? Oops...
  5. Men can't control crazy women

    The door thing is a "thing" with some folks. I've had guys hold the door open for me when I was still a block away. That's not courtesy, that's creepy. And I wasn't carrying anything that I'd have to set down to open the door.
  6. Westworld is a series that makes one wonder about the lines between what we think is real and what is real. How programmed am I? Are there basic assumptions I have about reality that are flawed, incorrect, or actually lies? When I began the process of deconversion from Christianity, the most important question I asked myself after realized I had followed a man's lies for 9 years was "What else have I believed that is a lie?" That is an important question daily. The new Blade Runner movie (as well as the original) asks this question of us, or tries to get us to ask the question of ourselves. What is reality? How much of it do we get to choose to create and to become, and how much is laid out for us that will not move? Have our models of reality in physics and chemistry missed things that exclude whole realms of understanding? If we discover them, are we allowed to remember them? Is life a game run by puppet masters, like the "lives" of the characters in Westworld who aren't allowed to ponder or recognize certain aspects of reality? There are times when I watch the strange play of our current administration and wonder who is behind the scenes laughing and profiting. I wonder at the next three years and if anyone is even planning to run against him, or if that race has already been decided. It feels like they are pushing Christian laws without overtly saying they are doing so, because that would be illegal. Is it only in the saying of it that it becomes illegal? How could someone so overtly rude and inane become our nation's leader? Who is really in charge? Do they even care that we ask such questions? Are we the "people" in the toy bin on Twilight Zone trying to understand their purpose in being in the same bin together? Most days I'm content to see my biological life as part of a greater process of life and death and recycling of nature. Other days I ponder these odd questions, examining advertising and culture for programming and trying to see if I am thinking and feeling my own thoughts or someone else's. Am I a drone, carrying out a mundane program while someone else profits from this mundane activity ala The Matrix? Most days, our knowledge of physics and such (with my rudimentary understanding of them) seem quite enough, and seem to be the result of time tested methodologies of understanding how things work. Other days, I see oddities in world history and archeology and wonder if we really are the remnants of life after a terrible catastrophe, and we've forgotten massive amounts of information and technology we once had at our disposal. Today must be one of those days, since I'm writing this. Still, it is a good question to ask and to ponder. I wonder what else I've believed that is a lie?
  7. If God can create it from nothing, then it can come from nothing (albeit through means we don't understand and there are lots of those left to discover), therefore those laws wouldn't hold and his argument implodes. Energy transfers around all the time, and matter gets tossed around rather a lot in the universe. Evolution is seen as yet another process of energy transfer, and may actually be expected as a form of more-efficient entropy. And others have recently posted that life eats life, so it isn't odd that we don't continually see new life forms arising, since other life (micro sized) would tend to consume it before it got established. So there is much about reality that we still don't know, and we are learning. None of that equals "a bloodthirsty Middle-Eastern deity made it all".
  8. How useless is prayer

    Don't be afraid little flock, He knows what you need before you ask him BUT hammer on his door and get him out of bed to get what you want. Ask and you shall receive, Ask anything in my name and I will do it BUT you ask and you don't receive because you ask with wrong motives. Maybe God wants your child to suffer. Even though we have an intimate relationship with our daddy in heaven, he won't tell us, so we just have to trust him even though he gives us no reason to do so. Isn't that just awesome? He always has a better plan for us than what we ask for. Such grace and mercy to not answer our prayers. Which of you fathers, if his son asks for a fish will give him a snake? Of if he asks for bread will give him a stone? If you then, though you are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father give good gifts to those who ask him? BUT maybe he's increasing your faith. He isn't a cosmic vending machine, you know. He doesn't dance to our tune. Aren't his promises great and precious?! They sound so great. Maybe you should praise him more. Try fasting to get his attention. Maybe you aren't obedient enough. We'll keep guessing because he's totally silent. But we have the Holy Spirit, so that'll help. He's totally silent also, except for the speaking in tongues. That doesn't seem to do much, but it's pretty cool, huh? Glory.
  9. My Russian friends showed me how much an accent changes understanding. In Oregon, they are fine with understanding English. But they couldn't understand anything from someone we know with a Kentucky accent. The dipthongs (the twang) were too outside of their experience, whereas I grew up hearing all kinds of accents on TV and movies, plus the odd "country" accent prevalent in country music and farm people even in Oregon. Oddly, the Russians had no problem (that I know of) with a guy from Louisiana.
  10. Dreams and subconscious fear

    It takes time to reprogram the subconscious mind, where the fears seem real and imagination is the same as reality. I've had several of the dreams where I'm only half asleep, so my muscles are immobilized (a safety feature of sleep to help us not harm ourselves or others). Trying to say the name of Jesus, but only getting a murmur through paralyzed muscles. But as an ex-Christian, I no longer want to invoke Jesus for anything. I regard the faith like the Manson family cult, something reprehensible. But my mind had 30 years of daily programming to respond a certain way. But then one night about 6 years ago, my mind set me up with a test to see what I would do. It was one of the most profound dreams I've had: I dreamed that I was in the kitchen of my old house from growing up. I was with my brother. Moonlight was coming through the window. Out the window was the night sky, but like a detailed artist's rendition with many moons like line drawings. I said "Am I dreaming? How can I be dreaming, this seems so real." Yet, the image of many moons didn't fade, but grew more detailed. I had to investigate! I went to the back porch to go outside, but the back porch area was dark, and the light wouldn't turn on. The light not turning on has always been a clue in my dreams that I was about to confront "evil". I noticed that the image of the sky changed when I looked out the back porch window versus the back porch door screen. It changed from a regular image to fog when I looked from through the glass to through the screen. I realized that the amazing moon visual was an illusion specifically to lure me onto the back porch. A little boy was there laughing in the semi-dark. He was "the devil" and I caught him as he ran by and tossed him to the ground and put my foot on his chest. I could feel the standard "evil power" starting to immobilize me and I tried to squeek out the name of Jesus, but then realized what I was doing. I am an ex-Christian. I said clearly out-loud, "I don't need Jesus to do this. I need to do this." I had my foot on his little chest. He giggled joyfully and ran out the back door while "saying" to me "careful, you're about to sin". I thought for a moment and then I replied, "There is no sin." He kept laughing and running around in the moonlight as I watched. I asked him, "You're me, aren't you?" (not so much a statement as a question) Part of me spoke this question to him carefully, still confronting the old fear of asking questions of demons. Parts of the dream are fading now. He stopped and looked at me, and laughed while standing next to a winter-time rose bush, no flowers but full of thorns. He smiled and embraced it. There was no pain. He ran by me and I caught him again and purposefully swung him into the thorns. He yelled "Ow!" I said, "It hurts if I do it, but not if you do it." I realized then I didn't need to hurt him/me. He wasn't an enemy. I am him, we are one. My intent created the pain. He is also able to do things that I cannot. Somewhere after this I awoke. Last night I had been thinking about how I used to be able to feel a change in spiritual power when I crossed a state line. I realized last night that I felt it because I expected to feel it. I had been taught about demons and angels setting up boundaries, and aligning themselves with areas. I realized this was a childish imaginary thought, but I had made it "real" by believing it. In my dream, I returned to my childhood fears. I didn't need a savior this time. I am both the devil and god and neither, there is just one. The world that seemed so real then is illusion. This makes me laugh. My mind wanted to know what I would do with "evil", what I would do with its desires and dreams. Would I still punish it for being itself? No, not anymore. I think I have a lot to learn from this "child".
  11. Issues with Money

    I gave away many thousands while I was a believer, which I wish now that I had invested in Microsoft and Amazon back in the day. Believers are taught that God will always provide (sermon on the mount), but that is a complete lie, just a great sounding lie intended as a marketing ploy to get you to commit to belief. I've seen a lot of posts here recently from others who are fighting against the fears they were taught. It takes time to overcome, but it also takes a fairly firm direction about who you would like to become. 45 isn't necessarily too late to start a new career, I did after being laid-off from an IT job. But you can't simply want more money, you need concrete things you want to do and become, and then take steps towards those things consistently.
  12. Barbed Wire Telephone Lines

    Once I got into IT and started supporting phone lines, I was surprised at how very basic a system it was. Really old lines still work fine (even pulse dialing will still work), and a pair of 24 gauge wires can stretch for a long way and still carry voice. The problem arises when systems are starting to convert over to data, which is a LOT more information trying to move a LOT faster. Old lines either have to go away and be replaced with new twisted pairs of CAT6 or in some cases fiber for long runs, or runs through places that would create interference. At my current job, the IT group is planning to change all the phones to IP phones, so all of the copper cabling from the past decades can be obsoleted and removed. Doing that kind of change in old buildings built of brick and marble (county offices) is a royal pain in the patootie. Happily, I don't have to do the cabling (for that).
  13. The cry for the Wild Woman

    So beautiful that you have embraced your wild woman! I hope that you find others who are doing the same. I know several here who have overcome years of oppression and now find delight in the freedom of the wild. A year ago I was at a student singing recital and a young East Indian girl sang the song from Pocahontas "Colors of the Wind" and I wept. I had never heard it before, but it echoed my current path so much that it struck a deep chord within me. I hope your mother will overcome her fear and embrace the call within. You are right, she does feel it, and probably longs to dance around the fire, but feels afraid of the angry Christian god. Show her the way.
  14. Interesting. My wife follows some of the more fringe authors like Joseph Farrell, but I'm always interested in what links the ancients. I've also seen the entrenched nature of the Egyptologists wanting civilization to start with Egypt and ignore the undecorated earlier structures that predate the Egyptians. I saw a show of a couple of guys doing research on the Sphinx, showing that it was far older than the Egyptians, and that the head they carved was from the remnants of a giant lion statue that shows a lot of water damage. They also demonstrated via echo imaging that there is a room underneath the paws of the Sphinx. Farrell, as I recall, says that the people at the top of power today know a lot more about this stuff than they let on, having discovered things and covered them up for their own power-broking. He has uncovered some odd stuff about the Nazis and experiments with time and energy, especially focusing on torsion as a critical element that he feels is being purposefully excluded from modern science. I'm not educated enough to know if he is on to something or is a nut. He does seem very well educated himself. He also seems to think the Giza pyramid was a weapon of some kind, which doesn't make any sense to me. But the ley lines are an interesting subject and the monolith structures commonality is fascinating.