Margee

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Margee last won the day on August 30

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About Margee

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    'Madame Eve'

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    Female
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    Learning how to be an ex-Christian and be comfortable with it!
    This is my 'Please Forgive Me' letter - It is my testimony and I hope it helps someone....You'll have to copy and paste.

    http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/44259-please-forgive-me/
  • More About Me
    Hi! I've come to you for a little help. I was a 'Fundi' for 30 years. I took the bible literally. The more I studied, the more questions I had. I became known as the 'pastors worst nightmare'. I asked too many questions. They (the church) continued to tell me just to have faith. It's been 3 years since I've gone to church. Nobody knows how I feel. How do you tell your friends and family that you don't believe anymore?

    It's been a long time coming. It all started when I read Charles Templeton's book,''Farewell To God-My Reasons For Rejecting Christianity''.(He was Billy Grahams dearest friend) His book answered just about every question that I ever asked when I belonged to the church, but they would not answer because they couldn't. I even went as far as having 3 phone conversations with Charles before he died and he sent me his autographed book.

    I have bargained, begged, cried, screamed and 'prayed' for God to give me the 'sign' that 'he' exists and it has not happened. I have prayed to 'him' in agony I've said to 'him', 'Don't you see, you're ready to lose me, don't you care'? I have gone as far as leaving letters to 'him' under my pillow (to reveal himself to me in a dream) so 'he' could see how sincere I am! How's that for being crazy?

    Sincere is what I have been! And I'm darn angry now!

    I started to study websites like 'evil bible.com' and 'Why God won't heal amputees?' I have dabbled with the law of attraction, psychics, astrology, energy fields, and every new age 'thing' a person could try to find a faith that might be more reliable than the christian god.

    If I ever even dreamt that I would be writing this letter.... The girl who studied her bible for years - I would have told you that the devil had complete control of me! I tried and tried and tried to make sense of this for all these years. I have heard horror stories of 'suffering' even within our own community of the church (let alone the whole world) and I always asked this God ; ''Why-Why-Why, can't you do something?? Can you not see what's happening down here? Can't you see how cruel nature can be? Don't you see what all these 'Holy Books' are doing to people down here? Can't you see the rapes, murders - the insanity of it all?''

    How does one deal with the pain of no God? My search is almost over - but - what now? So I don't believe in God anymore.... What now? How does one deal with this? I've read that some of you are 'free'. I don't feel that way. No afterlife - no seeing my only sister who died 13 years ago - no seeing mom or dad? No reward for trying to be so good all these years? How does one deal with this 'Dark Night of The Soul''?

    Thank you so much. Sincerely, Margee

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Non-Believer

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  1. ..........And the communities on fire, and the landslides... and the floods... and the avalanches... and the blizzards... and the heatwaves... and the tsunamis...... It pretty well looks like Armageddon (and it's all very sad) but it's just ''the story of the earth'' hun. Whether we like it or not. Cold, hard facts. (hug) Worth the watch even if every fact is not true. It will give you a good idea how we got here.
  2. Non-religious ranting

    I just basically hate the whole world and I wish a big rock from outer space would blow up the whole planet. But I do try to stay positive. Big, Big ((hug)) Daff.
  3. Breastfeeding is not natural.

    That was pretty well one of the dumbest arguments coming from a woman.....and I've heard lots. Good thing some woman got 'pretty' going for them.....
  4. The Problem of Evil: Crash Course

    This was very good.... although I want to smack all people who talk too fast up the side of the head. He does make some very good points. Thanks for posting.
  5. So much guilt...

    Christy, this was probably my best testimony when I first joined. I hope you get something from it. It will show you the questions that I had myself. I wrote this letter to ''God''. I was in agony the night I wrote it. http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/44259-please-forgive-me/
  6. So much guilt...

    Welcome to Ex-c Christy. I'm so glad you found us! Thank you for sharing your story with us. Everyone on this board understands what you are going through. It has taken me 7 years of deconverting on this board to learn a new world view after getting out of the Pentecostal church. By the way, all you were seeing at the altar was a bunch of highly emotional people. Pentecostalism is run on emotion. That's why I got hooked because I am a highly emotional person and they can suck us in using their 'happy' bait. Keep reading my friend. There is tons of stuff to read here that will show you that you are far from being alone. You are 'home' with people who truly understand. Looking forward to hearing more from you. Take your time.... because time will give you the wisdom to know how to react in many situations. Post all your questions. Someone is always here to help you. (hug)
  7. She has 'seen the light'.........How wonderful for her.....
  8. Welcome to Ex-c dear Anna. I'm glad you found us through your friend. You are amongst many who understand the mind fuck of religion and the abuse one accepts while in it, thinking it is normal. Keep reading all the posts to see that you are not alone. I am looking forward to hearing more from you and again, I'm so glad you are here. It's gonna be alright. It just takes some time to sort things out. The members here all understand. I, personally would have lost my mind if I hadn't found this site. I was in very bad shape when I arrived here and the members loved me back to 'somewhat' normal again. Reach out honey, there is always someone here to help you. Big (hug)
  9. Chantel my love. Welcome to Ex-c. I just read your story. Thank you for being so open, honest and vulnerable sharing your life with us. I'm so sorry you went through such dysfunction and had to at the hands such confusing and abusive behaviors. You're going to make it. I can see that. One thing that I learned coming out of all the religious bullshit (and dysfunction in our own family growing up) was that we humans are just animals. Animals. Some human animals are better than others. Some human animals have a better conscience. Humans animals are givers and takers. You have to be a very aware and always on the lookout to see who is fake and who is true. Keep your eyes peeled and get around kind, loving people who are sincere. I have seen inside and outside of religion that every one of us human animals are dysfunctional in some way. (Although you may not get some to admit that.) I am not agreeing that just because we are animals, it gives humans the right to abuse in any shape or form. But if anyone in your life still chooses to abuse you at this stage because they don't have a good, healthy conscience, you get away and say to yourself, ''Never again''. The thing is...you made it. Now it is time to put up strong boundaries of what you will and won't allow in your life and stick to it. If you feel someone is going to hurt you....get away from them and move towards people who show some kind of loving kindness. Do not allow anyone to abuse you ever again. I'm so glad you are here with us! You're going to come through this. I can tell. Stay here with us and we will give you all the encouragement we can to help you form a new world view. Big (hug)
  10. In the Beginning, Mothafuckas.

    Why did you make us have to eat? Do you know how many health problems you created by making us have to eat?? And then go to the bathroom?? do you know how inconvenient this is? And do you know how much money groceries cost all to go down the sewage?? Do you know how much toilet paper cost these days? Groceries alone are another mortgage payment!!! I could have designed better! PS. Can you help me stay on my diet.? I'm having a hard time getting a few pounds off I gained. Like...just remove my appetite or something?
  11. In the Beginning, Mothafuckas.

    OK God. Welcome to Ex-c! Are you a devil god? Cause I could still like you a lot....but I can't give up my Facebook God. Are you a jealous God? And I will never worship anyone again. No human or no God. Can you handle that? If you're a nasty God who puts people in hell, I can't have anything to do with you. You must make about 20 posts before you get 'blessed' with the like button.
  12. In the Beginning, Mothafuckas.

    Are you the same God I follow on facebook? If so, I love you.
  13. Hurricane Irma

    Good luck and lots of hugs and love for those who are caught in this disaster. My heart is with you all. My hope is that it won't be as bad as predicted and that any damage can be cleared up quickly. I am glued to this. I know what they are saying.... but I'm still hoping. Florida is like a second home to me. I've been there at least 35 times since 1976 from coast to coast. My first cousin and best friend lived outside of Miami (Surfside) before he moved to California and I was so lucky to be able to visit him whenever I wanted. He lived through Hurricane Andrew in 1992. I remember that like it was yesterday. I've stayed in Daytona, The Keys, Clearwater and all along Gulf Boulevard, Miami (and outside), Daytona, Orlando, Largo, Fort Lauderdale, St Petersburg, Indian Shores, etc. My dream is to go there in the winter. Florida is my paradise. I've visited some other Carribean islands and that was wonderful... but my love is for Florida. I have so many wonderful memories. So hang in there my friends cause when this is all done, I'm coming down to finally buy my little piece of heaven somewhere... and I don't give a shit what my line of credit goes up to. Love, (tears tonight) and ((hugs)) to all of you. Please stay safe.
  14. Hurricane Irma

    Irma is getting much bigger......
  15. Hurricane Irma

    My husband likes to watch the hurricane updates. He says this one is the biggest he has ever seen and is certain to be catastrophic. So if you are in the pathway of this, get out. My doors are open to anyone who needs a place to stay if this does turn into a disaster. Stay safe and love to you all in the south.