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Goodbye Jesus

A Christian Asking For Proof From Others.....


Robbobrob

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And up from the sea of sauce arises a beast ... the Antipasta! Beware of him! Do not receive his mark:

 

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Hey, I'm eating Chef Boyardee for supper tonight. :)

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Quote from Tortellini Relevations from Holy Pasta Bible:

 

"If thou receive the Mark of the Yeast which is sixty hundred sixty nine, thou wilt be accursed to the eternal Bakery which wilt eternally cook you in the oven to be eaten as a bread over and over again for ever and ever.

But those who had not received the Mark of the Yeast wilt go to New Italy and New Earth with no sea.

And pasta grows in spite of grass and there will be streets made of meatballs.

There set in the centre of New Italy, a tree that heals all nations, its leaves are rolled to be smoked by the spiritual Pastafarians, it is called the Marijuana Tree and it is pure.

For the faithful, there art mansions made of emerald, amethyst, onyx and all manners of stones.

There will be fornication with women or men or both for your faithful service to the Pasta Almighty.

People in the New earth and new Italy will not remember whilst their loved ones art in the Bakery.

There will be no tears and sadness in the new era of the Earth.

May Pasta Christ return quickly, he who is Alpha and Omega, to reign over us for ever and ever! Amen."

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Quote from Tortellini Relevations from Holy Pasta Bible:

 

And no weight gain from said pasta, either. Glory! :notworthy:

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May Pasta Christ return quickly, he who is Alpha and Omega, to reign over us for ever and ever! Amen."

Marinara! The Pasta Christ is coming!

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I guess that's what they call the Second Serving?

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The Pasta Noster

 

Our pasta, which art in heaven, hollow is thy noodle,

Thy linguine come, thy fettuccine be done

on earth as it is in the saucepan.

 

Give us this day our daily ziti,

And forgive us for eating macaroni, as we forgive those that also eat tortellini,

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from tofu,

 

For thine is the gnocchi, and the ravioli, and the rigatoni

forever and ever.

 

RAmen

 

By the way: Please pass this prayer on to everyone you know. It will bring you much luck and love in the coming year. If you fail to pass it on then your pasta will mold, your sauce be bitter and life as we know it on planet earth will end.

 

:o:unsure::blink:

 

But the one and only cousin on my mailing list from whom I ever get mail is a Pentecostal who keeps sending prayer requests for successful job interviews and for cancer-stricken friends. I, uh, have a sneaking suspicion that if I forwarded this very inspiring prayer to her, life as I know it on this planet would end.

 

Can the prayer be modified for special situations? Or do the Holy Father FSM not permit modifications for his holy writ?

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Hello, I am a Christian, and I would just like to know, is their any proof of FSM [Flying Spaghetti Monster]? If so can you please show me the proof, or explain it to me over the web please, I am curios to know. I personally believe this is just some silly religion thought up by an over active imaginative mind of someone. Who told others, and the few that believed him were hopeless in life as it was to begin looking for someone to lead them, and show them the way, so they just followed whatever he said. ( much like scientology)

 

this was posted on the main FSM site. I found the hypocrisy of the post so amazing and mind-warping, I just had to share. :lmao:

hmm...i think the best response would have been:

the same proof that your god exists. i mean both are invisible, and we both eat them.

 

the best way, in my opinion to deal with hypocrisy is to go straight at the heart or where it hurts the most :D

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Pinned? A thread of mine was Pinned?

 

I am so honored....His Noodly Appendage has truly touched me this day......HOLY MACARONI!!

 

Do not forget the Miracle of the Meatball Tree.....as immortalized in the song, "On Top of Spaghetti"

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  • Super Moderator

On the first day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

Pasta and meatballs for tea.

 

On the second day of Solstice . . .

 

Any takers?

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Guest Net Eng
On the first day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

Pasta and meatballs for tea.

 

On the second day of Solstice . . .

 

Any takers?

 

Takers?? Hell yeah!!

 

On the second day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

 

Who's next ??

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On the second day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

 

O.K. I'm in. (I really need to get a life!)

 

 

On the third day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

 

Next?

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On the second day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

 

O.K. I'm in. (I really need to get a life!)

 

 

On the third day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

 

Next?

 

On the fourth day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

 

Next....

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  • Super Moderator

On the fourth day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

 

 

 

 

On the fifth day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

5 sausage balls!

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

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On the fifth day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

5 sausage balls!

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

 

On the sixth day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

6 cheese lasagna

 

5 sausage balls!

 

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

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On the seventh day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

7 pots a boiling

 

6 cheese lasagna

 

5 sausage balls!

 

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

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On the eighth day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

8 sacks of spices

 

7 pots a boiling

 

6 cheese lasagna

 

5 sausage balls!

 

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

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  • Super Moderator

On the ninth day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

9 forks a spinning, 8 sacks of spices, 7 pots a boiling, 6 cheese lasagna,

 

5 sausage balls!

 

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

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On the tenth day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

10 sauces simmering, 9 forks a spinning, 8 sacks of spices, 7 pots a boiling, 6 cheese lasagna,

 

5 sausage balls!

 

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

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how many days of solstice are there?

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  • Super Moderator

As many as it takes. Pastafarians are free to do anything we want!

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As many as it takes. Pastafarians are free to do anything we want!

 

You must admit, if we go past 12 days the song is going to get weird. (As if it wasn't weird already!!!)

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  • 3 weeks later...
As many as it takes. Pastafarians are free to do anything we want!

 

You must admit, if we go past 12 days the song is going to get weird. (As if it wasn't weird already!!!)

 

I just noticed that we fizzled out just short of 12. I wonder if anyone can add one more line for a grand finale:

 

:sing:

 

On the eleventh day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

11 tortelloni

 

10 sauces simmering

 

9 forks a spinning

 

8 sacks of spices

 

7 pots a boiling

 

6 cheese lasagna

 

5 sausage balls!

 

5 sausage balls!

 

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

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Yeah! Also, if the FSM does not exist, then how do we explain the existence of spaghetti recipes? Because we all know, if there is a recipe, there MUST be a recipe giver.

 

Now, that's damn funny!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Ok maybe there's no "proof" of the FSM but I know from personal experience that after I asked Him to come into my heart, I KNEW He was real! And to the Christian that claimed it is a made up religion- nothing could be further from the truth because its not a religion, its a RELATIONSHIP!

 

The FSM has a plan for your life. But the only way to realize this is through FAITH. You will understand only after you believe!

 

 

Oh I like this response a lot LOL!

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