New Here: Atheist + Gay + Arab-american + Ocd + Northeast Liberal + Professor... Mamma Mia, Could They Hate Me Any More?! ;)

[Ameen]

Hello, hello, hello!

 

This is my first post here, but I have trekked around the board a bit and like what I see. I'm looking for a non-theistic home where I can learn about myself and perhaps help others in return. That's why I am checking out your board.

 

What you see below the dotted line is close to what I posted on another freethinker board about a month ago. Although I liked that board, it did not have the resources this one does, and there was no opportunity for me to talk about the abuse I underwent when I was a Christian. The board was more about discussing science and personal interests from an atheist viewpoint.

 

Ironically, I post under the same screen name on a Christian recovery board as an atheist and an openly gay person, and while I have raised some eyebrows I am accepted, more or less, and even liked because I am very, very careful not to attack Christianity--which means I cannot tell the whole story. In addition, I am supportive of Christians there who are recovering from the same type of abuse I underwent.

 

I was banned from a different Christian board, again as Ameen, in 2004. I should mention that it was a gay Christian board, but unlike many other gays I have met and despite a few good people there, the head honcho and a large number of users were stuck in fundamentalist thinking. Long story, that.

 

It isn't easy to find a place to continue healing. Again, that's why I'm trekkin' here.

 

Anyway... This post does not go into abuse, as I still need to get my bearings on this board and see if it is what I am looking for.

 

-------------------------------------

 

There should be a picture/attachment of me here (if I have used the board correctly) from 2006. I was 41 at the time; now I am 43.

 

I live in New York... But I am wearing a Wisconsin t-shirt in the photo because I spoke (at an open mike) during an atheist convention in Madison, Wisconsin a year or so before snapping the picture. I paid air and hotel fare to go there for a long weekend just to be among my own kind in a safe atmosphere.

 

Yes, I look younger than my age (as do my parents and sister, and as did my maternal grandmother). I teach in a university, and some of the guards demand I.D. every so often since they think I am a student.

 

And yes, I am an atheist--a former Fundamentalist Christian, in fact.

 

I am proud (but also sad) to belong to the most hated groups in the U.S. According to an article published in The New York Times a couple of years ago, the country's four most hated groups are Arabs, Muslims, atheists, and gays. That's three out of four for me--and it is only by accident of birth that I was raised Arab Christian instead of Arab Muslim.

 

Some people think it is "O.K." to be Arab-American as long as one is Christian, so when I am asked which I was raised I usually refuse to say or, if pressed, identify as Muslim so that I will not malign an already stereotyped group.

 

In addition... I have OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and once suffered greatly because of it. I have written articles on specific types of OCD that even behavior therapists have found helpful, and I am contacted by one for advice every so often. I also do volunteer work with OCD sufferers--mostly heterosexual Christian males in their teens and early twenties. The irony of a gay atheist carrying out this work (and talking to them about how heterosexual sex works!) does not escape me.

 

OCD exacerbates the issues I had with the conservative Presbyterian church I was raised in and the Fundamentalist group (the late Herbert W. Armstrong's Worldwide Church of God) I later joined. Even today, with my OCD mostly under control, I must deal with a lot of intrusive, unwanted thoughts with religious imagery (read that as condemnation and going to hell). Christians would say that it is the cross I have to bear; I say it is the totally random lot I drew in life, one made harder by Christians' insensitivity and intolerance back when I really needed help and did not get it.

 

I am also a Northeast liberal (read that as a Bleeding Heart Liberal) and a professor of ESL (English as a Second Language) in the Northeast. Thus, I am equally hated for my OCD ("mental illness"--an unfortunate term), politics, and profession.

 

I have also dabbled in and written about asexuality because of an asexual friend (long story, that), and have been amazed to hear that some asexuals have also suffered because of Christianity. They were told that God's plan was for them to have sex, this even though, biologically, they had no interest in sex. For this reason, some got married and bred--and it made them miserable. It's quite literally being forced to have sex outside one's sexual orientation. In their case their orientation is neither heterosexual nor bisexual nor homosexual. It's asexual.

 

I am the only atheist in my family, and even many of my friends (gay as well as straight) are practicing Christians, Jews, and Muslims. And one Wiccan--who's a bit of an oddball, but I love him. I have to put up with a lot since I am close to my parents and sister--but I have a longstanding antagonistic relationship with much of the rest of the family, largely because I am gay, an atheist, and a person who reads for pleasure. My parents and sister are avid readers (and liberals despite being Christian!), but reading is not considered a worthy activity in much of the family.

 

In addition, my extended family contains a number of people with borderline personality disorder, and when I was young I was often at the center of their rage. I have no problem with people who have this diagnosis, as I have done volunteer work with OCD + borderline, OCD + bipolar, OCD + Asperger's... I merely state it so you will know where I am coming from. While I am not borderline, I did pick up some unfortunate habits when I was young, and it is something I must always be aware of.

 

What else? I am also a singer--specifically a lyric baritone (which means I can also sing the lower 2/3-or-so of the tenor range) and a big time science fiction fan.

 

Recently, my closest friend interested me in Supernatural, and over the past couple of months I have watched every episode from the first three seasons. Now I eagerly follow the fourth season, and I hope to discuss it with fellow atheists. If there is a discussion about this show somewhere on the board, please let me know.

 

And for my fellow gays out there... Jensen Ackles. YUM!

 

I hope to have some really meaningful discussions here, and if there is anything you would like to hear more about or that I can help with (per the things I wrote about), please let me know.

 

In reason,

 

Ameen

 

[florduh]

Hello and welcome, Ameen!

 

We are the despised and outcast refuse of society, so you've come to the right place.

 

I bet you have some good stories (being a liberal and all).

[Ixchel]

Welcome, Ameen. I love your story.

[Ameen]

Thank you, florduh and Ixchel. I appreciate the kind words.

 

And yes, florduh, I have A LOT of stories about liberals and conservatives and atheists and theists and gays and non-gays... In fact, I'll post one of my favorites here.

 

In the late 90s I had gotten very friendly with a co-worker, a straight Christian guy whose wife who was, um, shall we say... a bit of a handful. In 1999, a few days before Christmas, he had promised to take her Christmas shopping--but then he got caught up in an emergency in his division and could not leave his office. He knew she would have had a fit if she had had to go alone, so he asked me if I would take her instead. (I assume he asked other friends before he turned to the gay liberal agnostic.) Since I owed him one, I agreed.

 

Let's call his wife Penelope. When we met for our evening on the town, she surprised me by being happy that she would finally get a chance to spend some time alone with me. I assumed we would go to Macys or Fifth Avenue here in New York, but she said she wanted to go to Greenwich Village. When I asked her why, this conservative Christian from small-town America told me she had never been to a porn shop and was curious.

 

"Uh, um, Penelope, you realize, of course, that the porn shops in Greenwich Village are gay, don't you?"

 

"Oh, I know. Look, I know it's wrong, but I think two guys together are hot."

 

I looked up to the heavens to see if any thunderbolts were headed my way... And then off we went to Christopher Street, the gayest street in Greenwich Village. Penelope was practically drooling with excitement.

 

When we were about to enter our first porn shop, she got a little nervous and held my hand. Now please try to picture this: I am straight-looking and acting, and she is a knockout. In addition, she speaks with a very pronounced Midwestern accent. We must have looked like heterosexual tourists as we entered the den of homosexual pleasure. Nasty glares greeted us.

 

When we got to the sex toys, Penelope yelped, pointed, and said very loudly in her nasal accent: "Oh my God! What's that!" Everyone in the store looked at her as she picked up the toy in question. Suddenly, understanding came to her eyes. "Oh my God! That must hurt!" I prayed that Gaia, goddess of homosexuality, would teleport me away from Penelope and the amused gay eyes, but Gaia must have been taking a coffee break.

 

Penelope ended up buying a few toys to give her husband on Christmas.

 

On December 26th I got a phone call: "You took my wife WHERE...?!!"

[florduh]

Great story!

 

I guess he felt safe entrusting his hot wife to a gay guy. Little did he know . . .

 

Keep 'em coming. I'm glad you stopped by.

[noob]

Welcome, Ameen! I certainly hope you find what you are looking for here. I would love to see you stick around. What fun!!! New York City, porn shops, gay stories and Penelope!

 

You are highly entertaining, very interesting, and I look forward to hearing more about the articles you have written on OCD as well as some of your other experiences. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Trike]

Thank you, florduh and Ixchel. I appreciate the kind words.

 

And yes, florduh, I have A LOT of stories about liberals and conservatives and atheists and theists and gays and non-gays... In fact, I'll post one of my favorites here.

 

In the late 90s I had gotten very friendly with a co-worker, a straight Christian guy whose wife who was, um, shall we say... a bit of a handful. In 1999, a few days before Christmas, he had promised to take her Christmas shopping--but then he got caught up in an emergency in his division and could not leave his office. He knew she would have a fit if she had to go alone, so he asked me if I would take her instead. (I assume he asked other friends before he turned to the gay liberal agnostic.) Since I owed him one, I agreed.

 

Let's call his wife Penelope. When we met for our evening on the town, she surprised me by being happy that she would finally get a chance to spend some time alone with me. I assumed we would go to Macys or Fifth Avenue here in New York, but she said she wanted to go to Greenwich Village. When I asked her why, this conservative Christian from small-town America told me she had never been to a porn shop and was curious.

 

"Uh, um, Penelope, you realize, of course, that the porn shops in Greenwich Village are gay, don't you?"

 

"Oh, I know. Look, I know it's wrong, but I think two guys together are hot."

 

I looked up to the heavens to see if any thunderbolts were headed my way... And then off we went to Christopher Street, the gayest street in Greenwich Village. Penelope was practically drooling with excitement.

 

When we were about to enter our first porn shop, she got a little nervous and held my hand. Now please try to picture this: I am straight-looking and acting, and she is a knockout. In addition, she speaks with a very pronounced Midwestern accent. We must have looked like heterosexual tourists as we entered the den of homosexual pleasure. Nasty glares greeted us.

 

When we got to the sex toys, Penelope yelped, pointed, and said very loudly in her nasal accent: "Oh my God! What's that!" Everyone in the store looked at her as she picked it the toy in question. Suddenly, understanding came to her eyes. "Oh my God! That must hurt!" I prayed that Gaia, goddess of homosexuality, would teleport me away from Penelope and the amused gay eyes, but Gaia must have been taking a coffee break.

 

Penelope ended up buying a few toys to give her husband on Christmas.

 

On December 26th I got a phone call: "You took my wife WHERE...?!!"

 

HAHA! That is such a great story. Welcome!

[Exalya]

Wow. That is certainly a combination!

 

A note on your story, I also was raised by a borderline parent, mmm... the fun. But anyway, welcome to the forums!

[I Broke Free]

Yes, I look younger than my age. I teach in a university, and some of the guards demand I.D. every so often since they think I am a student.

 

 

You could write all day and the above quote is all I will remember, BITCH!!

 

I was close to the full Andersen Cooper look by the time I graduated from high school (minus the looks and the money) and have never been carded for anything. I went to all the trouble to get a fake I.D. at the age of 19 and never had to use it.

 

 

I will welcome you to forum once the envy wears off....

 

IBF

[Guest QuidEstCaritas?]

hahahaha

 

Ameen, that was a great story! I enjoyed the part about her curiosity in the porn shop.

[Guest jenben]

Hi Ameen,

 

I'm new here too, but welcome. I hope you find this board more open than your previous experiences at other forums.

 

Jen

[pitchu]

You're going to be a wonderful addition to this board, Ameen.

 

Though I live upstate and not in the city anymore, when I go into NYC to work (musical theater, lyrics/libretto) I get to be with my old gay-guy buddies and have as good a time as I've had reading your posts.

[shantonu]

Hello, hello, hello!

 

This is my first post here, but I have trekked around the board a bit and like what I see. I'm looking for a non-theistic home where I can learn about myself and perhaps help others in return. That's why I am checking out your board.

 

What you see below the dotted line is close to what I posted on another freethinker board about a month ago. Although I liked that board, it did not have the resources this one does, and there was no opportunity for me to talk about the abuse I underwent when I was a Christian. The board was more about discussing science and personal interests from an atheist viewpoint.

 

Ironically, I post under the same screen name on a Christian recovery board as an atheist and an openly gay person, and while I have raised some eyebrows I am accepted, more or less, and even liked because I am very, very careful not to attack Christianity--which means I cannot tell the whole story. In addition, I am supportive of Christians there who are recovering from the same type of abuse I underwent.

 

I was banned from a different Christian board, again as Ameen, in 2004. I should mention that it was a gay Christian board, but unlike many other gays I have met and despite a few good people there, the head honcho and a large number of users were stuck in fundamentalist thinking. Long story, that.

 

It isn't easy to find a place to continue healing. Again, that's why I'm trekkin' here.

 

Anyway... This post does not go into abuse, as I still need to get my bearings on this board and see if it is what I am looking for.

 

-------------------------------------

 

There should be a picture/attachment of me here (if I have used the board correctly) from 2006. I was 41 at the time; now I am 43.

 

I live in New York... But I am wearing a Wisconsin t-shirt in the photo because I spoke (at an open mike) during an atheist convention in Madison, Wisconsin a year or so before snapping the picture. I paid air and hotel fare to go there for a long weekend just to be among my own kind in a safe atmosphere.

 

Yes, I look younger than my age (as do my parents and sister, and as did my maternal grandmother). I teach in a university, and some of the guards demand I.D. every so often since they think I am a student.

 

And yes, I am an atheist--a former Fundamentalist Christian, in fact.

 

I am proud (but also sad) to belong to the most hated groups in the U.S. According to an article published in The New York Times a couple of years ago, the country's four most hated groups are Arabs, Muslims, atheists, and gays. That's three out of four for me--and it is only by accident of birth that I was raised Arab Christian instead of Arab Muslim.

 

Some people think it is "O.K." to be Arab-American as long as one is Christian, so when I am asked which I was raised I usually refuse to say or, if pressed, identify as Muslim so that I will not malign an already stereotyped group.

 

In addition... I have OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and once suffered greatly because of it. I have written articles on specific types of OCD that even behavior therapists have found helpful, and I am contacted by one for advice every so often. I also do volunteer work with OCD sufferers--mostly heterosexual Christian males in their teens and early twenties. The irony of a gay atheist carrying out this work (and talking to them about how heterosexual sex works!) does not escape me.

 

OCD exacerbates the issues I had with the conservative Presbyterian church I was raised in and the Fundamentalist group (the late Herbert W. Armstrong's Worldwide Church of God) I later joined. Even today, with my OCD mostly under control, I must deal with a lot of intrusive, unwanted thoughts with religious imagery (read that as condemnation and going to hell). Christians would say that it is the cross I have to bear; I say it is the totally random lot I drew in life, one made harder by Christians' insensitivity and intolerance back when I really needed help and did not get it.

 

I am also a Northeast liberal (read that as a Bleeding Heart Liberal) and a professor of ESL (English as a Second Language) in the Northeast. Thus, I am equally hated for my OCD ("mental illness"--an unfortunate term), politics, and profession.

 

I have also dabbled in and written about asexuality because of an asexual friend (long story, that), and have been amazed to hear that some asexuals have also suffered because of Christianity. They were told that God's plan was for them to have sex, this even though, biologically, they had no interest in sex. For this reason, some got married and bred--and it made them miserable. It's quite literally being forced to have sex outside one's sexual orientation. In their case their orientation is neither heterosexual nor bisexual nor homosexual. It's asexual.

 

I am the only atheist in my family, and even many of my friends (gay as well as straight) are practicing Christians, Jews, and Muslims. And one Wiccan--who's a bit of an oddball, but I love him. I have to put up with a lot since I am close to my parents and sister--but I have a longstanding antagonistic relationship with much of the rest of the family, largely because I am gay, an atheist, and a person who reads for pleasure. My parents and sister are avid readers (and liberals despite being Christian!), but reading is not considered a worthy activity in much of the family.

 

In addition, my extended family contains a number of people with borderline personality disorder, and when I was young I was often at the center of their rage. I have no problem with people who have this diagnosis, as I have done volunteer work with OCD + borderline, OCD + bipolar, OCD + Asperger's... I merely state it so you will know where I am coming from. While I am not borderline, I did pick up some unfortunate habits when I was young, and it is something I must always be aware of.

 

What else? I am also a singer--specifically a lyric baritone (which means I can also sing the lower 2/3-or-so of the tenor range) and a big time science fiction fan.

 

Recently, my closest friend interested me in Supernatural, and over the past couple of months I have watched every episode from the first three seasons. Now I eagerly follow the fourth season, and I hope to discuss it with fellow atheists. If there is a discussion about this show somewhere on the board, please let me know.

 

And for my fellow gays out there... Jensen Ackles. YUM!

 

I hope to have some really meaningful discussions here, and if there is anything you would like to hear more about or that I can help with (per the things I wrote about), please let me know.

 

In reason,

 

Ameen

 

 

 

 

Amen. When James Baldwin was asked whether he, as gay African American, felt particularly oppressed he replied something like "No, I feel like I've won the lottery."

 

Christanity is changing. I feel like we are entering a new era where we can finally let go of the rotting mythology and understand Jesus's message in a clearer light. I could be wrong. But it seems the Episcopal/Anglican Church is splitting apart on the ordination of gay priests and bishops. If it does split, that will probably be a good thing since it will create a truly progessive church that we can come to terms with.

[noob]

@ noob: My article on OCD is very specific, as it is about a type of OCD that is often misunderstood instead of OCD as a whole. Basically, people with "homosexual OCD" begin to obsess that they are a different sexual orientation (heterosexuals falsely fear they are gay, gays falsely fear they are straight, bisexuals falsely fear they are monosexual, asexuals falsely fear they will look for sex...), and it becomes a 24/7 issue filled with horrible anxiety. (This will only make sense to you if you are familiar with OCD.) About 95% of the folks I deal with are straight, maybe three quarters of them male. Sometimes it gets so bad that the person stops functioning and needs to be hospitalized.

 

I have never had this type of OCD myself, but, as a gay male with OCD, I try my best to make sufferers understand that they are experiencing typical OCD symptoms and not a sexual orientation crisis. I cannot diagnose or treat OCD, but I can point them in the right direction and help them find appropriate treatment. I can also be (and often am) a sounding board for OCD people in dire straits.

 

If you would like more information on this type of OCD or would like a little insight on my own OCD issues with natural disasters and extremist religion, you can check out my article, "I'm Gay and You're Not: Understanding Homosexuality Fears," here: http://www.brainphysics.com/yourenotgay.php

 

That is the article a few professionals have contacted me about. I wrote it in 2005.

 

I post as Mark on that board and as Ameen here. My real name is Mark-Ameen Johnson. But please, do NOT confuse me with (ICK!) the gay New York poet Mark Ameen (no hyphen). He writes about sex with dead fish; I do not.

 

Ameen, thank you very much for the information and the link. I will definitely check out your article. I read a book about OCD in 1999 and I find the subject fascinating. I did not realize that there was a specific type of OCD where heterosexuals fear they are gay. I find that very interesting as there is currently a woman in my life that I have tried to help, and she obsesses over whether or not she may be a lesbian, or whether or not someone is trying to get her to be a lesbian. It comes up in almost every conversation I have with her and I've been wondering why.

 

Finally, I hope you stick around and keep sharing your stories! I've had many a Superman fantasy myself!!!!

[Asimov]

Dude, you're like the epitome of sin, hehe

 

Welcome and enjoy.

[Ameen]

@ noob: My article is written from a male perspective since the bulk of sufferers are heterosexual males, but there are plenty of straight women with this issue also. It's also mentioned on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_obsessions (A behavior therapist I know put a link to my article there.)

 

I also know of two wonderful on-line articles about this phenomenon by well-known American behavior therapists (Steven Phillipson and Fred Penzel):

 

http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson7.php

 

http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/am_i_gay.html

 

Nevertheless, there is still a lot of ignorance on this matter even in the therapeutic community, and horror stories abound.

 

If any of this seems like something this woman is going through, please feel free to look around Brainphysics and/or have her look around. You two are also welcome to post on the forum. As I mentioned, I am Mark there. http://www.neuroticplanet.com/forum/

 

I should mention that there are other anxiety-based disorders, in particular GAD, where false gay fears can be a problem. Usually, treatment is the same regardless of which disorder it is.

 

Treatment: http://www.brainphysics.com/therapy.php

 

@ Asimov:

 

 

Dude, you're like the epitome of sin, hehe

 

Welcome and enjoy.

 

Now that's the best thing I've been called in years!

 

And you have Mr. Spock in your avatar!!! Cool! Lifelong Trekker here--and I have seen every episode of every series at least twice.

 

My favorites: Icheb, Guinan, Q, L'waxana, Dukat, Seven, the medical hologram, Jadzia, Hoshi Sato, McCoy, Sulu, all the captains except Kirk, most Vulcans, and, especially, most Andorians. (I want an Andorian boy toy!!!!!!!!!)

 

My absolute favorite character: Her Eminence, Kai Winn Adami

 

Can't stand: Kirk, Chekov, Riker, Bashir, and anything named Crusher

 

My absolute least favorite character: A toss up between Neelix and Keiko O'Brien

[Ameen]

Oops! I missed you two. Sorry!

 

@ shantonu: I agree. I posted twice on gay Christianity here. The link will take you to my first post in that thread; then two other people posted, after which I posted again. http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?show...mp;#entry423065

 

In addition, if you know of gay Christians who need some sort of affirmation, here's a great (looooooooong) one. And it isn't by a gay person, either. It's by a married heterosexual senior citizen/Baptist minister. Follow the link and click on "Read the Letter": http://godmademegay.com/

 

(Yes, I'm atheist. But sometimes my work on the OCD board involves real gay people with OCD who remain religious and suffer from scrupulosity--religious OCD. I have that as well.)

 

I have said on other boards that Baldwin refused to identify any sexual orientation, saying that was merely a label.

 

@ pitchu: That was really sweet! Many, many thanks!

[Kuroikaze]

and a person who reads for pleasure. My parents and sister are avid readers (and liberals despite being Christian!), but reading is not considered a worthy activity in much of the family.

 

This stuck out at me, cause my extended family on my dad's side is exactly the same way. The whole lot of them are a bunch of Arkansas red necks. Despite that my dad likes to read and is a sci-fi fan.

 

Anyway, Welcome to the board.

[ogilvy]

Welcome to the group from me, too, Ameen. It seems like you do a lot to help and encourage a lot of people. I like the way you are so friendly and full of interesting stories and ideas. I will check out some of those links. Do you have anything to do with the Yahoo OCD groups? I had Scrupulosity too. Like a recovering alcoholic who must avoid even one drink, I have to avoid hell-preaching religion these days. Those writers you mentioned actually helped me recover from OCD by giving me a completely new perspective on it. As soon as I read them, I began to recover. Their ideas hit home with me. Amazing. Yes there is a lot that people can really help each other with, especially online, where you can be anonymous.

 

I think the thing about (straight) people obsessing about being gay is due to that its something they would not like to be, because of the social stigma, or the hard time they might have with family and friends, if they found they were, indeed, gay, or because of the fear of going to hell because of it. Because they dont want to be that, they fear in case they are, and constantly check for any signs of it. Similarly some people fear cancer as the worst thing that could happen to them, and constantly worry and check to see if there are any signs of it. Others think pedophilia would be the worst thing, and therefore worry in case they are. The worry gets in the way of being able to think clearly enough to know if they really do have the symptons or not.

 

Learning to live with uncertainty, IMO, is the key to overcoming it. However, it is very very hard to live with the uncertainty about being destined for hell. Even so, it IS possible, but it might necessitate deconverting

[shantonu]

Oops! I missed you two. Sorry!

 

@ shantonu: I agree. I posted twice on gay Christianity here. The link will take you to my first post in that thread; then two other people posted, after which I posted again. http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?show...mp;#entry423065

 

In addition, if you know of gay Christians who need some sort of affirmation, here's a great (looooooooong) one. And it isn't by a gay person, either. It's by a married heterosexual senior citizen/Baptist minister. Follow the link and click on "Read the Letter": http://godmademegay.com/

 

(Yes, I'm atheist. But sometimes my work on the OCD board involves real gay people with OCD who remain religious and suffer from scrupulosity--religious OCD. I have that as well.)

 

I have said on other boards that Baldwin refused to identify any sexual orientation, saying that was merely a label.

 

@ pitchu: That was really sweet! Many, many thanks!

 

In NYC, there are a few "openly Gay" churches. Grace Episcopal Church in Brooklyn flies the rainbow flag outside. Many of my gay friends go to that church and I've been there a few times. My understanding is that several baptist churches have become "Welcoming and affirming," for example Judson Memorial Church.

 

I don't think there is anything really unusual or controversial or even surprising about this. Gay Christians have always been part of the church.

[Ameen]

@ Kuroikaze: Ouch. Sorry to hear that. I'm glad that your Dad is a science fiction lover and a reader, though. My own Dad is the one who first got my sister and me into Star Trek. Having been born in 1965, I first saw the show in reruns in the early 70s. My mother hates the show--but when I visit my parents, my father, sister, and I still rewatch episodes from the various series together.

 

My mother does think the Ferengi are cute, though.

 

To a New Yorker, "Arkansas rednecks" brings up all sorts of unfortunate stereotypes... But I suppose "Native New Yorker" produces an equal number of stereotypes in Arkansas!

 

@ pippa wonders: Bingo! I agree with everything you wrote about OCD, and I wish some of the folks from my board could see what you wrote. Many of them wrongly claim the only reason I understand them is because I am a gay person with OCD, and I therefore know the difference between homosexuality and OCD. Yes, I do know the difference--but anyone familiar OCD would be able to tell that they were not gay despite the way OCD eats at them and makes them check, seek reassurance, ruminate... You've got it absolutely correct, and you've never even seen the board.

 

I agree: Living with uncertainty (as hard as that is for folks with scrupulosity--and I am included in those folks) is the key to mastering OCD instead of letting it master you. I enjoyed reading your post.

 

No, I have never checked out the Yahoo OCD groups. Brainphysics takes up a lot of time, and I also need down time on the Internet. I would imagine, though, that those groups help a lot of people provided they don't use them for checking. Are they moderated?

 

@ shantonu: I agree: Gays have always been part of the church, and although they may have had to hide they were not necessarily celibate. Just today, as I was out with my closest friend, he mentioned how disatasteful he found the Pope's latest pronouncement on gays endangering the planet. My response: "He should check who his priests are!"

 

A year or two ago, someone explained the connection between gay Quakers and Martin Luther King, Jr.'s philosophy of nonviolent resistance. I don't know if there was such a connection, but it makes a lot of sense to me. Fascinating stuff!

[Kuroikaze]

@ Kuroikaze: Ouch. Sorry to hear that. I'm glad that your Dad is a science fiction lover and a reader, though. My own Dad is the one who first got my sister and me into Star Trek. Having been born in 1965, I first saw the show in reruns in the early 70s. My mother hates the show--but when I visit my parents, my father, sister, and I still rewatch episodes from the various series together.

 

My mother does think the Ferengi are cute, though.

 

To a New Yorker, "Arkansas rednecks" brings up all sorts of unfortunate stereotypes... But I suppose "Native New Yorker" produces an equal number of stereotypes in Arkansas!

 

haha, well most of my relatives are walking stereotypes. I haven't lived in Arkansas in a while, and I like it that way, mostly because the stereotypes DO have some basis in reality.

 

At the moment, living in Japan, I am about as far from Arkansas as I can get without going into space.

[ogilvy]

@ pippa wonders:

No, I have never checked out the Yahoo OCD groups. Brainphysics takes up a lot of time, and I also need down time on the Internet. I would imagine, though, that those groups help a lot of people provided they don't use them for checking. Are they moderated?

 

Yes they are moderated, and they have 2 resident OCD experts who answer anyone's questions. One, I think, is Dr Claiburn, and the other is, I think, Michael Jensen. Members are not encouraged to seek or give reassurance. They are encouraged to do exposure, and not to carry on compulsive behaviour. One of the doctors has written some workbooks, and will also email info.

[Emme]

Hi Ameen!

[I Broke Free]

Ameen, I think you will find that the relationship between religiosity and OCD has been discussed on the forum a number of times, even by me. During my two years stint with the Mormons when I was a teenager I suffered from moderate OCD symptoms (writing things over and over and trouble with light switches) that I never had before. Once I left the cult behind I was lucky and my OCD dissipated almost completely. I still occasionally have problems with light switches but since it is so rare I just give in rather than obsessing on it.