Popular Post par4dcourse Posted April 21, 2010 Popular Post Share Posted April 21, 2010 The biggest mistake xians make is our reasons for deconverting. Since the babble is parable-ridden I thought maybe they would understand this, my personal story in parable. My name's Numan. I got a letter from a big company president, Rod, saying I was hired. It was a tough job, requiring me to go against my ownnature at times, but to work hard and I'd succeed. I was to make a great deal, but here's the catch, I wouldn't know how much until payday. I was suspicious, but Rod said every Numan had a payday, only no Numan knows exactly when. Still skeptical, I read on. Rod assured me that there was a company manual everyone in my department, the church of Rod, knew about that would answer nearly every question I would have and a supervisior who knew the manual inside out. Plus, if I wished, I could use the intercom and talk directly to Rod. There was a seperate division, the crapolics, that had their own vice-prez to talk to Rod. I went to work and soon had questions. The questions mounted and my co-workers just smiled and did their jobs, which consisted mostly of not pissing off Rod. I consulted the company manual, and it raised more questions than it answered. I consulted the department super, and he just kept telling me Rod was a great boss and I should just have faith in him. My co-workers didn't seem to notice that the intercom didn't work. In fact, they seemed to be quite satisfied to talk into it and then walk away. I pushed the button in every possible way, and pleaded with Rod to answer even on of my questions, but to no avail. Then I saw the answer. There was no Rod. The various department bosses may have thought there was, and certainly had the workers convinced, but I couldn't make myself believe that a decent Rod would run a company like this. So I quit. Several of my former co-workers, and even people in other departments, told me Rod would find me and kill me, either now or on payday. Others said I'd really never worked for the company or I would have never quit. Still others say Rod will pay me anyway since I once worked for him. Since I never saw or heard from Rod myself, I have serious doubts, but I'll find out on payday. Or not. 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotBlinded Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Priceless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted April 21, 2010 Super Moderator Share Posted April 21, 2010 Nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 I love it! The killing part really cracked me up and I needed the laugh today, thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracked Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 You may be able to market that intercom button and get paid early. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 You hit that straight head-on. I pinned the topic because I think it gives a very clear description of what's wrong with Christianity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Did you write that? Damned impressive my man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevoMuso Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Rod loves you. How could you abandon him? You despicable Rod-less reprobate. You are definitely going to Nell. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abmin9 Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 I used to work for Rod too. My superiors would insist I recruit more employees. It was a tough job, and I actually never did recruit one. I look back now and am so Roddamn thankful I never did! At my new job, everyday is payday! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cycel Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Clever, and how true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevoMuso Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Clever, and how true! Hi Cycel. Welcome to ExC. Please tell us your story in the testimonies section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Donna Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 LOl! I think this Rod bloke sounds like an arsehole. Someone should report him to Wageline, the bastard. Hopefully, his workers will all join a union. Maybe we could organise a strike? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dB-Paradox Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 It was great, but won't convince many Christians, if any unfortunately. But damn, that was great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
concerned agnostic Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 OMG (oh wait...can we use that here???) that was AWESOME!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShakenNotStirred Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 Very funny! The part about the intercom was my favorite. Ain't that the truth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prochristian Posted October 5, 2010 Share Posted October 5, 2010 I used to work for Rod too. My superiors would insist I recruit more employees. It was a tough job, and I actually never did recruit one. I look back now and am so Roddamn thankful I never did! At my new job, everyday is payday! i love your reply and the parable is awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_evil_that_men_do Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Awesome parable, I was like oh my rod!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spinoza Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 I am an X-ian... If by "X" you mean the letter Aleph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spinoza Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 The biggest mistake xians make is our reasons for deconverting. Since the babble is parable-ridden I thought maybe they would understand this, my personal story in parable. My name's Numan..... Then I saw the answer. There was no Rod. The various department bosses may have thought there was, and certainly had the workers convinced, but I couldn't make myself believe that a decent Rod would run a company like this. Rod does exist but you just don't see it yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spinoza Posted December 16, 2010 Share Posted December 16, 2010 A monk asked Dongshan Shouchu, "What is Buddha?" Dongshan said, "Three pounds of flax." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRobinson Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Its Bizarre how many xtians are always talking and cant figure out why they never had a miracle. I stopped going to my womens church group shortly before I came here because they used to sit around and keep praying and complaining whats wrong and wheres the healing, wheres the promise of the prayer of agreement. But yet they continue to show up every week and complain then pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isha Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Prove it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivingLife Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 The intercom does not work b/c it is not winders seven compatible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJusa Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 This 'parable' is probably one of the funniest pieces of satire (if you can call it that) that I have ever read. Lol big props to the OP for writing this. I was bursting out laughing the other night..."Ron would find me and kill me on payday". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJusa Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 I'm sorry, Rod. Not Ron as I said previously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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