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Good Morning - I Am God


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#1 OnceConvinced

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Posted 04 October 2010 - 11:06 PM

Have you ever seen this ridiculous highly blasphemous piece of Christian BS?

Good Morning. I am GOD..

Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do NOT need your help.

If the devil happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle DO NOT attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFJTD (something for Jesus to do) box. It will be addressed in MY time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, DO NOT HOLD on to it or attempt to remove it. Holding on or removal will delay the resolution of your problem.

If it is a situation that you think you are capable of handling, please consult me in prayer to be sure that it is the proper resolution.

Because I do not sleep nor do I slumber, there is no need for you to lose any sleep.

Rest my child, If you need to contact me, I am only a prayer away.


I decided that this needs to be responded to, so I came up with this:

Good Morning. I am your BRAIN

Today I will be handling all your problems. Please remember that you have everything you need within you.

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you believe you cannot handle DO NOT just ignore it and hope it will go away. Kindly put it in the GOYAADWI (get off your ass and deal with it) box. It may take some time to deal with it, but ignoring it won’t help. Once the matter is placed into the box DO NOT DWELL on it, but focus on a potential solution. Denying it or hoping some perceived God will deal with it, will delay the resolution to your problem.

If it is a situation that you think you are incapable of handling on your own, please consult a fellow HUMAN BEING for support and advice.

Remember, you have hidden strengths deep within, you just need to tap into them. There is no need for you to fall into despair.

Rest my child. If you need to contact me, I’m only a thought away.


Edited by OnceConvinced, 04 October 2010 - 11:12 PM.

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Check out my website where I poke a bit of fun at Christianity:  http://reckersworld.jimdo.com/

 

Breaking free from the Christian delusion is a lot like giving up smoking. Many will fail. They are the weak ones who never really broke the addiction in the first place. Those who succeed will go on to live a happier and healthier life without the need for the damaging nicotine that is Christianity.


#2 ilovemybrain

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Posted 05 October 2010 - 10:36 AM



Good Morning. I am your BRAIN

Today I will be handling all your problems. Please remember that you have everything you need within you.

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you believe you cannot handle DO NOT just ignore it and hope it will go away. Kindly put it in the GOYAADWI (get off your ass and deal with it) box. It may take some time to deal with it, but ignoring it won’t help. Once the matter is placed into the box DO NOT DWELL on it, but focus on a potential solution. Denying it or hoping some perceived God will deal with it, will delay the resolution to your problem.

If it is a situation that you think you are incapable of handling on your own, please consult a fellow HUMAN BEING for support and advice.

Remember, you have hidden strengths deep within, you just need to tap into them. There is no need for you to fall into despair.

Rest my child. If you need to contact me, I’m only a thought away.



LOVE IT!!! :woohoo: I SOOOO wish I had known this a long time ago. Life is 1000% better when I don't sit around waiting for someone else to make it better!!!!!!
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"Don't pray in our schools; we won't think in your churches" -unknown

#3 OnceConvinced

OnceConvinced

    One hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is

  • Regular Member
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  • Gender:Male
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  • Interests:Novel writing, Texas Holdem Poker
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :The Great Prophet Zarquon

Posted 05 October 2010 - 04:02 PM

I'm hearing ya! Same with me too. Oh how much time I wasted waiting for an imaginary God to take action in my life.
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Check out my website where I poke a bit of fun at Christianity:  http://reckersworld.jimdo.com/

 

Breaking free from the Christian delusion is a lot like giving up smoking. Many will fail. They are the weak ones who never really broke the addiction in the first place. Those who succeed will go on to live a happier and healthier life without the need for the damaging nicotine that is Christianity.


#4 Xerces

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Posted 10 October 2010 - 07:49 PM

So true, our brain is the single most important thing we have. Well, and that other instrument. ;)
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#5 OnceConvinced

OnceConvinced

    One hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is

  • Regular Member
  • 1,332 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:New Zealand
  • Interests:Novel writing, Texas Holdem Poker
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :The Great Prophet Zarquon

Posted 12 October 2010 - 12:42 AM

Praise the lord! I... I mean Praise the almighty name of "Bob"!
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Check out my website where I poke a bit of fun at Christianity:  http://reckersworld.jimdo.com/

 

Breaking free from the Christian delusion is a lot like giving up smoking. Many will fail. They are the weak ones who never really broke the addiction in the first place. Those who succeed will go on to live a happier and healthier life without the need for the damaging nicotine that is Christianity.



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