143 replies to this topic

[Foxy Methoxy]

No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose organ has been cut off may become a member of the assembly of God. (because God hates colostomy bags)
Deut 23:1


At this, the elders of the town should summon him and reason with him. If he still stands his ground and says I refuse to take her, his brother's widow must go up to him in the presence of the elders, pull his sandal off his foot, spit in his face, and declare, "Thus we requite the man who will not build up his brother's family. His family will be known in Israel as the house of the unsandalled man." (Oh, snap!)
Deut 25:8-10


A young man was following Him, wearing nothing but a linen sheet over his naked body; and they seized him. But he pulled free of the linen sheet and escaped naked. (Um... what? A streaker during Jesus' arrest?)
Mark 14:51-52


You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them. (gold and silver dildos?)
Ezekiel 16:17

Please add your own weird verses.

[blackpudd1n]

At this, the elders of the town should summon him and reason with him. If he still stands his ground and says I refuse to take her, his brother's widow must go up to him in the presence of the elders, pull his sandal off his foot, spit in his face, and declare, "Thus we requite the man who will not build up his brother's family. His family will be known in Israel as the house of the unsandalled man." (Oh, snap!)
Deut 25:8-10

Hard-core insult, there!!

[mwc]

No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose organ has been cut off may become a member of the assembly of God. (because God hates colostomy bags)
Deut 23:1

This one is eunuchs. It also makes the story with Philip in Acts impossible since the eunuch couldn't have been Jewing it up in the temple.

mwc

[Foxy Methoxy]

By the time of Acts, centuries had passed and the temple was no longer following many of its older laws. That's not to say I give much credibility to any story mentioned in Acts, but a eunuch in the temple in Roman times isn't terribly far fetched.

[mwc]

By the time of Acts, centuries had passed and the temple was no longer following many of its older laws. That's not to say I give much credibility to any story mentioned in Acts, but a eunuch in the temple in Roman times isn't terribly far fetched.

Now where did you get that from?

mwc

[Foxy Methoxy]

Jesus and the money changers, for one....

Herod's temple was very Hellenistic. The laws of the Torah weren't being strictly followed and that was a major source of conflict between conservative jews and mainstream jews.

[Foxy Methoxy]

And as far as the notion of Jews not strictly following their own traditions, one can easily spot evidence of that even to this day. The Old Testament is story after story of Israelis and Jews ignoring their own laws.

[mwc]

Jesus and the money changers, for one....

Herod's temple was very Hellenistic. The laws of the Torah weren't being strictly followed and that was a major source of conflict between conservative jews and mainstream jews.

For one what? You got that eunuchs could just drop by the temple from that story?

The money changers were there precisely because of the law. There was only one type of money that the temple could accept. The Jews could not mint it for themselves therefore they needed to exchange for it. The bit of irony was the coin needed was the Tyrian shekel and it had graven images on it (not unlike the Roman coins being exchanged of course) but that it all was brought within the temple space.

Had they the power to mint silver coins, as opposed to just bronze coins as under Herod (and later Agrippa), this would not have been an issue. The exchange would have taken place but the other, exchanged, coinage could have been removed to some other place as opposed to being brought into the temple as part of the required tax under the law while the acceptable silver coinage taken into the temple proper.

Notice that there is no problem when the temple tax is paid outside the temple. In the story of the shekel in the fish the temple tax is paid up in Galilee. Tables were setup ahead of time in the outlying regions to collect the tax and, if not paid prior, was collected at the temple. Here, Peter grabs up the fish and it has the same Tyrian shekel. The tax is collected and all the coinage is moved to the temple. All Jews, everywhere, paid to the temple (until it fell then it went to Rome). So why is this not a problem? It's where it's collected. It's a problem once the graven images are all brought to the temple just as when Herod hung the eagle there. Or the shields brought by Pilate and placed in the temple. Otherwise the graven image on the coin to Caesar would be a problem but it wasn't. The shields could be in Caesarea but not the temple.

This has nothing at all to do with being Hellenistic. It has everything with trying to keep the law. They had to collect the silver coinage for the tax, under the law, and had to work with the graven images, also a part of the law, as part of that deal.

And as far as the notion of Jews not strictly following their own traditions, one can easily spot evidence of that even to this day. The Old Testament is story after story of Israelis and Jews ignoring their own laws.

And is this one of those times? It seems the new testament is all about the Pharisees and all being a rather legalistic bunch. Sticklers. And the Sadducees? You don't even want to get them started on those uptight Saducees.

But maybe they relaxed the rules for eunuchs? All the ancient world did love them eunuchs after all. If there was a group to let into your club it was them, right? Nothing says "manly" more than "eunuch" and these ancient Jews were pretty cool with the "anything goes" lifestyles. So I can see them in them in the ritual baths getting ready to enter the temple and not noticing any "problems" with our eunuch pal but inviting him right on in to hear the Torah that they would ignore.

mwc

[Foxy Methoxy]

Some Jews kept the laws. Some didn't. There is little consistancy. We can speculate either way.My point is if we're going to note implausible things in Acts, the verse about Phillip is nowhere near the most questionable story in the book.

[mwc]

Okeee-dokeee. So our particular eunuch happened in with a pro-eunuch crowd. Eunuch-Tuesdays.

Your argument of "Some Jews kept the laws. Some didn't." has convinced me. Some Americans keep the laws. Some don't. Brilliant. Makes getting things, and into things, much easier. Fort Knox here I come! I'll just tell them I don't keep the laws. Then all the gold is mine!

mwc

[Foxy Methoxy]

Are you OK, man? I didn't realize we were arguing. I thought I was in a discussion forum where it was ok to discuss opinions.

[mwc]

Actually, I was originally pointing out that your Deuteronomy 23 verse was about eunuchs (those having their penises and/or testicles removed/damaged) and so would not relate to a colostomy bag as you mentioned.

The note about Philip and the eunuch was an addendum (ie. "it also"). It was to add to your post. That is to say because of Deuteronomy 23 the story of Philip and the eunuch cannot occur and therefore Philip cannot fly away at the end.

mwc

Edited by mwc, 14 February 2012 - 12:52 PM.

[Foxy Methoxy]

I see your point. Thanks for sharing

[Legion]

Foxy has this habit of mixing reality and fantasy. I do too. I have a fantasy that he'll one day become a man of integrity. In reality he won't.

Edited by Legion, 16 February 2012 - 11:00 PM.

[BrotherJosh]

Well, that derailed... Back to the OP.

Zechariah 5:7, "Then the cover of lead was raised, and there in the basket sat a woman! He said, "This is wickedness," and he pushed her back into the basket and pushed the lead cover down over its mouth."

Genesis 15:9, "So the LORD said to him, "Bring me a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old, along with a dove and a young pigeon."

[Legion]

[Foxy Methoxy]

Foxy has this habit of mixing reality and fantasy. I do too. I have a fantasy that he'll one day become a man of integrity. In reality he won't.

What is this about, Legion? I'd be offended if that's what you're looking for, but it doesn't even make sense.

There is a major cultural difference between the Hebrews who worshiped in the tabernacle and who wrote the Torah and the Jews who worshiped in Herod's temple in the 1st century. It should be obvious, but I guess it's not. If the subject of eunuchs in the temple is worth getting worked up over, then I'm sorry I pressed those buttons. It's very odd to me how opinions are not welcome on this site. The angry fundamentalist isn't far removed from many people who post here.

[Legion]

Foxy, please relax man. We're in the Den and I feel the opportunity is here to basically free associate. So that's what I do.

[Foxy Methoxy]

I'm relaxed. You're just not making sense. That's all. Are you sober?

[Legion]

I'm relaxed. You're just not making sense. That's all. Are you sober?

Sober? You talking to me?

Edited by Legion, 17 February 2012 - 12:42 AM.