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Goodbye Jesus

Encouraging New Members


Margee

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I lurked for two days before I finally decided to join in and post my extimony. Really glad I did. Even though it's online, I feel a sense of community that's been lacking since I left the church... which is truly the only thing I miss about it. Really thankful for Ex-C. Proud to be one of you hellbound heathens. ;)

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hullo! I don't know where to start posting so I thought I'd try here and see if anyone shouts at me. Sorry if I ramble i just wanted to get this out amoungst a bunch of people who might have gone through the same thing!

I've been bought up as a christian and believed it all my life until I recently recovered from a period of depression and realised I'd resurfaced without my faith, and without faith belief in the bible just kinda falls apart. Various bad feelings have resulted like did I actually take it to be truth or was it because I was surrounded by people telling me it was truth, my brain and everything I think seems like an incredibly fragile flippy floppy thing that lacks integrity. And coming to terms with that I've either lost something crucially important or I've spent my life being unintentionally misled by the people who love me is pretty difficult.

On the other hand a world of exciting possibilities and things to explore about what's the point of it all anyway has opened up to me and I feel freeee. Plus I can love my athiest boyfriend (who has been very supportive but can't really relate) without feeling like I've chosen him over God.

So yah, it would be really good to meet some people who have gone through this, I only know never-been Christians who never really understood my religion in the first place and Christians, who'd have no interest in helping one of the flock fall away!

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Hullo! I don't know where to start posting so I thought I'd try here and see if anyone shouts at me. Sorry if I ramble i just wanted to get this out amoungst a bunch of people who might have gone through the same thing!

I've been bought up as a christian and believed it all my life until I recently recovered from a period of depression and realised I'd resurfaced without my faith, and without faith belief in the bible just kinda falls apart. Various bad feelings have resulted like did I actually take it to be truth or was it because I was surrounded by people telling me it was truth, my brain and everything I think seems like an incredibly fragile flippy floppy thing that lacks integrity. And coming to terms with that I've either lost something crucially important or I've spent my life being unintentionally misled by the people who love me is pretty difficult.

On the other hand a world of exciting possibilities and things to explore about what's the point of it all anyway has opened up to me and I feel freeee. Plus I can love my athiest boyfriend (who has been very supportive but can't really relate) without feeling like I've chosen him over God.

So yah, it would be really good to meet some people who have gone through this, I only know never-been Christians who never really understood my religion in the first place and Christians, who'd have no interest in helping one of the flock fall away!

 

Welcome to ExC, ExXex.  No one is going to shout at you for posting on this thread.  It's the purpose of the thread.  :)

 

It most certainly does help to find people who relate to what it's like to leave Christianity behind.  Those who, though atheists, have never been a Christian really can't relate and as you correctly pointed out, the Christians you know are no help whatsoever. 

 

There is no doubt that when we are around a lot of people who believe in Christianity, that can have a profound impact on our own beliefs.  Just think back on all the authority figures who would say all the Christian things and seemed to believe in it all with all their hearts.  That certainly can have a big impact.  You were misled (as I and many others were) but usually with no malicious intent at all.  The thing is finally to come to the point in your life when you can finally see it all for what it is - a myth (and I say that to be kind because often I say something else which is not quite so kind to the religion).

 

Again, welcome to ExC.

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Ah good, thankyou! :)

Aye, I don't really resent the being bought up a christian, as my family did it with the best intentions and I felt safe and happy in my beliefs and all that, I just feel sad it's ended up like this, I really thought I'd spend my life seeing the bible as the word of God, but now it's just a book to me that if there's any truth in I think it's been in humankind's grubby little hands a bit too long for it to shine through. It's so good to read through this forum and read about other people's experiences, it feels a bit like we've been unplugged from the matrix (to put it rather geekily haha)- not in a superior 'now I know the truth' kinda way- more a 'argh help I've been living in a vat' way. I feel sad religion has done that to people but can't really bring myself to dislike it, and I'm not sure I particularly want to!

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  • 1 month later...

Hi guys! This is my first post but I've lurked around here for a while. Thanks to a lot of the intelligent and educational posts here I finally completely deconverted from Christianity and religion in general about a month ago. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian home and my dad was a pastor so you can bet I was thoroughly indoctrinated and brainwashed as a young child. I really believed the Bible and everything that goes with it and never, ever thought that I'd end up a "backslider" or "unbeliever" someday. But here I am! Haha

I guess you can't expect a naturally curious and thoughtful person to not start to dissect and examine the deepseated beliefs he has been taught as a child. About 2-3 years, due to being away from my Christian environment at home and in the church after I joined the Marine Corps, I began to question things and my faith began to unravel. Just small things in the beginning...Why do we pray in tongues and other denominations don't? Who's right in that issue? What about cultures without access to Bibles? Why would God use literature, which many people cannot read or don't have access to, to spread the most crucial message in existence? Doesn't that immediately condemn civilizations that existed without it or before it was written? Many questions like these began to pop in my head. I began to identify with a more "lite" version of Christianity. I just believed in a god that loved us, and brushed aside all the "bad stuff." But more questions continued to arise until finally I began to not even associate myself with any form of Christianity around a year ago. I just believed in a weaker, simpler form of the bible god and an afterlife in heaven that I would go to, but completely shut out the idea of hell and all doctrinal stuff. Some sort of "post-Christianity." I just put religion on the back burner.

It wasn't until about a month ago when I discovered this site and several others that I again brought out the subject of religion. I decided to reassess all my views through a neutral, unbiased point of view. I quickly discovered how blind I had been to believe all the nonsense and how strong of a grip my religious upbringing had placed on me. I realized I am an atheist or, at best, a deist. I was amazed once I was confronted with facts how easily the guilt complex fell off me. It feels so good not blindly believing in a being that is always watching your every move, waiting for you to fail and "sin" and beg its forgiveness. I can enjoy focusing on my interests and passions without setting them aside for "the Lord's calling," socializing with my friends without worrying about trying to convert them, and I have even begun to drink a few beers with them and enjoy myself without conscience. Life is great on the outside! Thank you all!

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Hi guys! 

 

Thank you all!

 

Welcome to ex-C JTA! beer.gif I hope you like it here.

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Thank you crazyguy! biggrin.png

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 Many questions like these began to pop in my head. I began to identify with a more "lite" version of Christianity. I just believed in a god that loved us, and brushed aside all the "bad stuff."

 

Welcome JTA!  I am so glad you are here with us! Thank you for sharing. I 'came' to the lord at 19 - I can't imagine being bred into it from birth. What you said above...that sums up the way I went through my journey with Christianity also for 30+ years.. Just brushed aside the bad parts and used the same ole cliché'.....god's ways are higher and we are not to question them. I am also glad not to have to live under the 'fear' of the sky daddy anymore.

 

Welcome to EX-c!! Hope to hear more from you!!

Sincerely, Margee

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Thank you, Margee! You are too kind! blush.png smile.png

 

Yes, I was brought up in it my whole life. My parents became overseas missionaries when I had just turned 5, and we spent 9 years in Poland and Bulgaria. Needless to say, I was thoroughly indoctrinated in Christianity and very rooted in a radical, fundamentalist, evangelical environment.

 

Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for a keen, inquisitive mind and the great sources of information on the internet!

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  • 1 month later...

Thanks for the encouragement to post.  I'm a newbie here.  Been lurking around the last 6 weeks or so.  Just posted my "ex-timony" today here.

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Thanks for the encouragement to post.  I'm a newbie here.  Been lurking around the last 6 weeks or so.  Just posted my "ex-timony" today here.

 

Yay!! I'm going to read it right now!!  hug!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey everyone! My name is Allen. I found Ex-C through redditt a number of months ago on a topic I was reading. I started visiting the site each day and reading as much as I can. I was raised in a Roman Catholic home in the bible belt and a significant portion of my family is catholic. I deconverted while in college aftering taking a philosophy class. It's been fantastic reading and watching this site. I am glad I joined and thank you all for being here. 

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Hi Allen!! I am so glad you decided to 'show yourself''!!! Lol Welcome to Ex-c!! So glad to have another de-convert with us!! I see the veil was taken off your eyes also?

 

Sure hope to hear more from you?? C'mon....be brave........

 

Sincerely, Margee

 

Hug!

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Hi Allen!! I am so glad you decided to 'show yourself''!!! Lol Welcome to Ex-c!! So glad to have another de-convert with us!! I see the veil was taken off your eyes also?

 

Sure hope to hear more from you?? C'mon....be brave........

 

Sincerely, Margee

 

Hug!

Thanks Margee. I posted my story here if you would like to read it. I definitely want to get involved. It will be fantastic to get back into the debates.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello everyone! I am returning to ex-Christian forums after being away for quite a number of years. My name is Matthew. I am 35 years old and I am from California. I originally joined this website when I was about 25 and I became quite friendly with many of the people who were a part of this website. I am an ex-Christian. I was a Christian for ten years before I started critically studying the Bible and I came to believe that the Bible was not the inspired, inerrant, infallible, and revealed word of any god. My belief that Jesus rose from the dead fell by the way side. For almost two years I have been a Unitarian Universalist and while I love this liberal religion, I am getting to the point where I have been seriously questioning everything I believe to be true. Quite recently, an old high school classmate of mine lost her son due to a brain tumor and it has really shaken me. It's made me really question my liberal faith.

 

I have considered myself something of a panendeist. I developed, for over a year, this strong suspicion that we were willed into existence and that there really do exist objective moral values that were caused by a divine being. Hence my panendeism. I am questioning this and I would be lying if I said I wasn't growing skeptical of it. While I consider myself a very moral person, I have been wondering what kind of divine being would not prevent this poor boy from developing a brain tumor? I do not believe that any kind of omnipotent, omniscient, and all-loving god exists because of the evil in this world and the suffering that results from it. For the sake of my friend, I started praying to show my love for her and her son and when this boy died, I became skeptical of petitionary prayer once again. Right now, I am not sure what to believe anymore. Anyways, having said this, I thought I would return and rejoin the ex-Christian community.

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................

I have considered myself something of a panendeist. I developed, for over a year, this strong suspicion that we were willed into existence and that there really do exist objective moral values that were caused by a divine being. Hence my panendeism. I am questioning this and I would be lying if I said I wasn't growing skeptical of it. While I consider myself a very moral person, I have been wondering what kind of divine being would not prevent this poor boy from developing a brain tumor? I do not believe that any kind of omnipotent, omniscient, and all-loving god exists because of the evil in this world and the suffering that results from it. For the sake of my friend, I started praying to show my love for her and her son and when this boy died, I became skeptical of petitionary prayer once again. Right now, I am not sure what to believe anymore. Anyways, having said this, I thought I would return and rejoin the ex-Christian community.

 

The original idea of their being Gods was to explain that which the ancients could not explain any other way.  Eventually the idea developed that these “Gods” could bless or punish humans. Obviously humans desire blessings more than punishment so the idea developed the we humans had to appease these “Gods” because a happy God would be far more likely to bless us than an angry God.

 

That simple idea has survived antiquity. It is still the basis of most world religions. If there are “Gods” then they can intervene at any time in human affairs and fix things. The problem is they don’t. People get hurt, get incurable diseases, and all of us eventually die.

 

I admit that I like the idea of there being other realities and maybe even other life forms existing in these realities. I like that idea but there is no scientific evidence that such realities exist.

 

Essentially Deism says that “something” planted the seeds of existence and life, and then stepped back and observed the evolution of “It’s” creation. This “something” doesn’t intervene or interfere with the events of “It’s” creation. It simply observes.  “It” doesn’t require worship nor does it possess human traits.

 

Personally, as I noted, I like to think there is more to our reality than we can perceive. I like to think that but I also acknowledge there is no evidence that suggest such a thing is true.

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Hi to everybody---I am brand new (well, brand new to this forum, but not brand-new to either this earth or to being an ex-Christian!), and I have a lot of forum reading to do! I am enjoying the posts I have read so far and am very happy to have found this website!

 

Briefly, I was raised United Methodist. Always liked my church and the people there and enjoyed going. But even as a kid, I never really bought in. Ya'know?  I mean, I heard all that stuff from the bible, but I kept thinking, "That can't possibly be true. It just can't."  But finally, when I was about 8 or 9, I thought, well, I would give God a try, because there was something I wanted more than anything in the world. I wanted my grandfather to come back from heaven and sit on my bed with me and hug me and talk to me--for just a little while. I had not gotten to say goodbye to him, really--I was only three when he died, but we lived with my grandparents when I was born, and my crib had been in Granddaddy's bedroom! (My sister's bed was in Grandma's bedroom. Hmm.) So he was the one who got up with me in the night--and he was my primary love. It was Granddaddy, and then everybody else. When he died, I was sent to stay with friends of the family during the visitation and funeral, so I never saw him dead. I knew "dead" meant he would not come back because he was in heaven, but I had loved him so completely and deeply, and missed him so badly that here, years later, I was trying to bargain with God.  I swore that if God would just let my granddaddy come back and hug me and sit by me and talk to me for just a little while--a half hour? An hour? I would never, ever, ever tell anybody. (And I wouldn't have!) I said, "I can't lie. If I did, you would know. So you know I'm telling the truth and I really NEED my Granddaddy to come see me--just for a little while. I will never ever tell because I know that you don't do this--it just isn't done ordinarily, but surely you know that I *need* this so much that you will let him come. Just for a little while, please, God, please, I want my Granddaddy so much!"

 

I prayed that every night for about --oh, I don't know--six months? A year? And you know what? I began to figure that I had been right all along. This "God" business was a crock. There might be something in charge of the universe, but it certainly was *not* a loving, personal God figure.

 

Not sure why, since I didn't believe in a personal God--the one everybody else seemed to believe in--that I thought that Jesus was the real deal. And that he was likely the son of whatever-forcefield-ran things down here.   Well, maybe not the deal that some people thought he was. For instance, I never bought that "risen from the dead" business. Not literally.  I also didn't buy that his mother had been a virgin who was impregnated by the "holy spirit' or an angel. Still, I always thought he was a cool guy and had some pretty good ideas.  After all my bible reading, it finally came to me that he never, ever claimed to be God. He never claimed to be divine!  He never said "Worship me." Instead, he said "Follow me."  He also said that whatever he did, we could also do--that and more. As in, "You are as divine as I am." So I finally came to realize that I considered him, not "the only son of God," but rather, more akin to an "elder brother." A way-shower, if you will. And that when I said that I accepted him as my personal savior, I had been oh, so wrong.

 

So one day shortly after I came to that conclusion (my wrong-ness on the divinity of Jesus)  I'm standing in church and we are reciting the apostles' creed. "I believe in God the father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, his only son, our Lord, who was conceived of the Holy Spirit, born of the virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilot, was crucified, dead, and buried. On the third day he arose from the dead and ascended into heaven to sit at the right hand of God the father almighty. From thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead. I believe in the holy spirit, the holy catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting. Amen."  But-- I DIDN'T believe those things, I finally admitted to myself. None of them!  EEK! So why was i standing there saying I did?   I have to get OUT of here!

 

So I left the United Methodist church. My sister tried to get me to stay--after all, we were baptized and confirmed there! But I couldn't. I didn't believe it any more.  My problem then was trying to figure out what I did believe. Condensing the rest of the story to this: in an effort to be sure my grandkids never got caught up in any cult, and never became convinced that Christianity was the "right" way and all else was "wrong," I ended up taking them to a Unitarian-Universalist church and enrolling them in the Unitarian-Universalist R.E. program. (RE equals Religious Education or Religious Exploration.) They learned about all the world's religions..from Buddhism to Taoism to Hinduism to Islam to B'hai (spelling?) to Judaism to --well, Christianity. But they were *never* told that one was 'right' and the others 'wrong.'  They were encouraged to think for themselves and to come to their own truths. And so since I was taking them there every Sunday anyway, I started attending services and discovered that in my UU congregation, there are some liberal Christians (none of them believe that Jesus is "theonly  way to salvation"), some Buddhists, some Wiccans, some humanists, some Taoists, and a whole bunch of atheists and agnostics. It's a cool church, I have to admit. Very involved in social justice and other stuff that I like. There is no dogma there. Everyone is perfectly free to form their own path to their own truth. Often after a sermon,. there is a time for "congregational response," so those who disagree with the ideas put forth can say so. Those who agree will also have the chance to speak on their own thoughts and experiences. My favorite UU jokes are these (because they are so very TRUE): Why are Unitarian-Universalists such poor hymn singers? Because they are always reading ahead to see if they agree with the words.  LOLOL!  My other favorite is: What do you call an atheist with children? (or, in my case, grandchildren?)  A Unitarian Universalist.  And here's my third fave UU joke: If there is an afterlife, and when you get there, there are two signs--one pointing this way and saying "Heaven" and one pointing that way and reading,"Philosophical Conversations ABOUT Heaven," most people will be in the first line, but all the UUs will be in the other one. smile.png  Oh, and in closing, the reason I was desperate to get the kids some religious education was because they had next door neighbors who had a little girl who kept telling my granddaughter that she was going to go to hell because she read Harry Potter.  I tried to tell her there is no such place as hell, and if there were, you would not go there for reading Harry Potter--or ANY book.  But she wrung her hands and kept saying, "But what if she is right?" Worse, the little girl's parents kept inviting my granddaughter to go to church with them!! So I asked my daughter (atheist, in spite of her early indoctination at the hands of the United Methodists, with a degree in religous studies from Purdue) if I could take my granddaughter (age 10) and her two little brothers to the UU church, and she said, Oh,sure, as long as you don't try to take them to a Christian chuch. They're teens now, and my granddaughter and her youngest brother are both atheist. (Atheist U-Us, that is.) The middle child, who also happens to be autistic, just says he is a Unitarian-Universalist.  smile.png  So all's well that ends well.

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Welcome, boilerluv!  It's good to hear that sanity has won out in your family!

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Welcome, boilerluv!  I can relate to your story.  I'm sorry about your Granddaddy and all those prayers that were never answered.  The sincerity of that prayer is heartbreaking.

 

I love the UU jokes!  And I'm glad you were there for your granddaughter.

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Hi to everybody---I am brand new (well, brand new to this forum, but not brand-new to either this earth or to being an ex-Christian!), and I have a lot of forum reading to do! I am enjoying the posts I have read so far and am very happy to have found this website!

 

 

 

Welcome boilerluv! Thanks for sharing your story!! I sure can relate to so much of it. Especially the 'begging' god to just grant you one little favor. I remember quite a few times I have done this. Literally begging god because I was so down in the dumps. I even put a note under my pillow!! Wendytwitch.gif  True!! Just like a child would to the tooth fairy. I didn't even get a quarter.......sad.png

 

Keep sharing!! Glad you are here with us!! *hug*

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Hi again. Thanks for the welcomes!

I notice that so many posts on ex-Christian boards assume that all of us are sleeping in on Sundays--or playing golf or hanging out eating bagels and cream cheese and reading the Sunday paper.  Am I the only  ex-xtian who is sitting in a church (fellowship, temple, whatever)?  I personally like it--but then, of course, it's a different kind of church. There's no dogma, you don't have to profess anything to join, everybody believes something different--although some beliefs are similar.  You don't even have to share what your own personal theology is--if you even know. It's like our minister says, "Most of us can tell you easily what we *don't* believe. But figuring out what we do believe is much more difficult."  Our current minister went to school starting out to be a Presbyterian minister--completely Christian. But after studying the bible some more and talking to apologists, he came to the realization that he was not a Christian any more. So he had to kind of switch horses in mid-stream, so to speak. He self identifies now as a transcendentalist.  His wife is openly atheist. Our former minister was an atheist--her husband was a Buddhist and ran the Buddhist meditation group at our church. (I think Buddhism is kind of cool, actually.) I do know some things I believe, but it's hard to put them in any kind of order. One thing I believe is that all animals have the same kind of souls that humans do, so I'm with Mahatma Gandhi when he said that you can tell how far a nation has progressed morally by how it treats its animals.  I probably have to give a shout out to the reincarnation folks, too. I think there is more to that than many people think.  Have to stop now but will be back to read and write more another time--thanks for letting me be part of this really neat group!

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Your church sounds interesting, open to ideas.  It's good to have a place to be with other people and be able to talk about these things.  I enjoy being on this site, but being with actual people and sharing ideas would be ideal.

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