12 replies to this topic

[Jesususedpeyote]

I'm just so fucking pissed off at myself! I usually stay up late at night, dont go to bed until like 5 or 6

am. Last night was no different than any other night. For the last 2 or 3 nights I've been finding

myself just fucking around watching youtube videos. Other than watching the occasional music

video I never do that. I'd been just typing in "god isnt real" or something similar and seeing what shit

people post. Last night on the right column with the "featured videos" I noticed a video series that

caught my eye, and I dont know why, because I'm sure there are countless similar videos. It was

titled "Tortured in Hell Lived to tell" its a 4 part "series". Basically this dude had always believed in

the J.C but was a junkie and alcoholic on top of it. I guess he came to a point where he wanted to kill

himself, he decided he didnt want to do it in the house with his wife and kids, and fell asleep. In his

"dream" he was in hell and blah blah blah jesus came down saved him blah blah blah. However,

when he woke up he states that "Jesus took my addictions" and never even had a withdrawal after

YEARS of hard drugs and alcohol. Anyway at the end of it.. well I can't explain it just this fucking

"fear" took over me. I didnt get on my knees and accept jesus, but I did quietly say when I was going

to sleep "god if this is all real show me something" yeah, I feel fucking stupid now, because

obviously NOTHING was shown to me, and I had just a normal fucked-up dream..but I ALWAYS

have fucked up dreams so thats nothing new. I'm just so pissed at myself for pretty much taking the

fucking bait! After 8+ years of disbelief, this fucking video comes along, and I dunno, I just feel

fucking weak and scared which I've never felt like before... FUCK!!! It wouldnt even have been

anything if there was a real explanation how dude can have no fucking withdrawals or anything... yet

I can't get off a certain medication because of withdrawal... FUCK!!!! I just keep thinking this whole

"what if" shit. He just seems completely truthful to me. And even if I were to accept JC its not like I

can just go and read the bible again, because I know FOR A FACT that its all corrupted from the

original... that is IF there ever were originals! And like I said earlier its all god damn fear tactics... so

its not like I could be like "oh i love god he is so merciful!" no he's not! he's a fucking douchebag

that I HAVE TO believe in so i dont get tortured fucking eternally! FUCK THIS!! just feels like my

disbelief is weakening... sorry for anyone who actually finishes reading all of this. I know you have

better things to do than hearing me bitch

[jackbauer]

Don't beat yourself up. I actually did the same thing a while back. I was watching a deconversion video and one of the related videos was on hell. I clicked on it and read the top rated comments in horror realizing they were all "praise jebus!!1". That triggered a similar "oh crap" reaction and I spent the next couple minutes in complete terror. It's like the logical side of my brain was completely turned off as I was trying to find a way to escape this fear. Like you, I have decided that God is a complete monster if he created such a horrible place, but I still have these deepseated fears that maybe I should repent.

What I do is remember my time believing in this stuff and realize what a nervous wreck it made me. It made me absotuley miserable and did nothing to comfort my fears (especially since I believed it was already too late for a lot of people). All it did was make me constantly think of death which made me depressed. Maybe you have anxiety problems. Do you find yourself worrying about other stuff? That was the case with me.

As for this hell dream guy, that's what it sounds like it was, a bad dream. It may have been real to him, but that doesn't mean it *was* real. And that's assuming he didn't just make this shit up like so many other people do. Isn't it strange that all they have is ancidotal evidence? That should tell you a few things.

[Positivist]

The guy probably was using a hallucinogen like LSD or has in the past. Or maybe he has schizophrenia. Either way, put no stock in it. Nutbars abound.

As for being "delivered" from drugs, I highly doubt it. Once the buzz wears off he'll be back. They always come back.

Maybe you need to take stock of your beliefs/unbeliefs and commit to them for a time to see if they fit. Being tormented like this is no way to live. I have the odd 'flip-out' too. I think that just goes to show how deep the brainwashing goes.

Pursue peace!

[owen652]

^ this.
remember, just because someone says he had no withdrawals, does not mean he had no withdrawals. although it was difficult for me to believe because i tend to believe the best in people, the fact is that many many many many people just lie. Of course they may be a multitude of other perfectly natural explanations in this case, but really, NEVER believe claims like this without some major evidence, regardless of how sincere they may sound.

I had a sort of similiar experience just today, actually, watching a video my sister posted about a guy who supposedly died and went to heaven and came back to tell the story, and he was so convincing that he almost had me believing again. I actually felt a stab of fear in my heart, which was horribly familiar from my childhood when I was living in constant terror of hellfire. If this guy saw Jesus for real, surely that means something? Of course, the video doesn't mention that near death experiences vary from culture to culture. so in India, for example, people who have a NDE will see Sheva or some other Hindu god. and children who have NDEs see elves, Santa, pets, all kinds of weird things that are more familiar to them.

Fear is a great motivator, that's why fundamentalists use it. You are not alone, believe me.

[jackbauer]

The guy probably was using a hallucinogen like LSD or has in the past. Or maybe he has schizophrenia. Either way, put no stock in it. Nutbars abound.

Drugs, that explains a lot. Many of the people who claim to have been to hell or had wierd NDEs have been on drugs before hand. I remember reading one in which someone claimed to have a judgment day experience. He made some claims about how god's standards were super high and wanted us to strive to be selfless martyrs. For some reason, I bought into it, but about a week ago, I checked this again.

-The guy had been on drugs before hand.
-He didn't write his book until 20 years later (if he had the divine truth, wouldn't he have shared it with the world instantly?).
-He went off of god and admitted to wanting to kill his ex wife at one point.
-He was arrested for pot posession. He was trying to "get high for Jesus".

Now after reading this clowns stuff, I find myself laughing.

Dieser Beitrag wurde von jackbauer bearbeitet: 19 Februar 2012 - 07:53

[FourDogBrewing]

If you are going to fuck around on youtube may as well watch some great stuff like this guys channel: http://www.youtube.c...Evid3nc3/videos

Start with the first one in his seiries, really great stuff.

[Mike D]

The mere fact that someone is dependent on drugs and/or alcohol to get through life is a tip off that you're dealing with an emotionally handicapped person. And emotionally handicapped people are very vulnerable to religious "experiences" because those also are grounded in emotion. So they are basically trading one emotional crutch (chemicals) for another emotional crutch (religion).

Lets face it these people are "damaged goods" and have about as much credibility as a wet sock.

Now - bring me a chemical-free, rational, critical thinking skeptic who claims to have had an extraordinary experience, then maybe we'll talk....

[Jesususedpeyote]

I feel dumb about this post now. Thanks for the reassurances though. Yeah, before he "went to hell" like 6 months prior, he OD' off methamphetamine. So yeah. I was actually wondering about what a ..lets just say.. muslim would experience through one of those Near Death Experiences. I'm actually very ignorant of the fact that said muslim would see Allah and Mohammad. Dude just seemed truthful, I guess I must accept that he probably had withdrawals and is just denying reality or something. Just the idea of me going back to belief.... ugh.. there's just no way I could logically make it work. Believe in Jesus, but reject the bible completely...I could imagine all the stigma such a belief system would hold. As if it could even hold at all. Oh, and yes I do have anxiety have for a long time but never been prescribed medications for it, I have schizophrenia and major depression which I do have prescriptions for (non narcotic). I guess i'll just stay away from the "scares for free" youtube videos. Gonna check out that channel though.

[midniterider]

I'm just so fucking pissed off at myself! I usually stay up late at night, dont go to bed until like 5 or 6

am. Last night was no different than any other night. For the last 2 or 3 nights I've been finding

myself just fucking around watching youtube videos. Other than watching the occasional music

video I never do that. I'd been just typing in "god isnt real" or something similar and seeing what shit

people post. Last night on the right column with the "featured videos" I noticed a video series that

caught my eye, and I dont know why, because I'm sure there are countless similar videos. It was

titled "Tortured in Hell Lived to tell" its a 4 part "series". Basically this dude had always believed in

the J.C but was a junkie and alcoholic on top of it. I guess he came to a point where he wanted to kill

himself, he decided he didnt want to do it in the house with his wife and kids, and fell asleep. In his

"dream" he was in hell and blah blah blah jesus came down saved him blah blah blah. However,

when he woke up he states that "Jesus took my addictions" and never even had a withdrawal after

YEARS of hard drugs and alcohol. Anyway at the end of it.. well I can't explain it just this fucking

"fear" took over me. I didnt get on my knees and accept jesus, but I did quietly say when I was going

to sleep "god if this is all real show me something" yeah, I feel fucking stupid now, because

obviously NOTHING was shown to me, and I had just a normal fucked-up dream..but I ALWAYS

have fucked up dreams so thats nothing new. I'm just so pissed at myself for pretty much taking the

fucking bait! After 8+ years of disbelief, this fucking video comes along, and I dunno, I just feel

fucking weak and scared which I've never felt like before... FUCK!!! It wouldnt even have been

anything if there was a real explanation how dude can have no fucking withdrawals or anything... yet

I can't get off a certain medication because of withdrawal... FUCK!!!! I just keep thinking this whole

"what if" shit. He just seems completely truthful to me. And even if I were to accept JC its not like I

can just go and read the bible again, because I know FOR A FACT that its all corrupted from the

original... that is IF there ever were originals! And like I said earlier its all god damn fear tactics... so

its not like I could be like "oh i love god he is so merciful!" no he's not! he's a fucking douchebag

that I HAVE TO believe in so i dont get tortured fucking eternally! FUCK THIS!! just feels like my

disbelief is weakening... sorry for anyone who actually finishes reading all of this. I know you have

better things to do than hearing me bitch

Dont watch any more pro-jesus stuff unless you enjoy fear. Christianity = fear, guilt, control.

[Positivist]

I feel dumb about this post now.

Hey, you had a flashback. That's why we're here for each other. :-)

[owen652]

If you are going to fuck around on youtube may as well watch some great stuff like this guys channel: http://www.youtube.c...Evid3nc3/videos

Start with the first one in his seiries, really great stuff.

thanx very much for that

[London]

he's a fucking douchebag that I HAVE TO believe in so i dont get tortured fucking eternally!

He IS a douchebag. And believing in him is how you end up being tortured for the rest of your life.

It's very easy for our minds to take off in doubt. If you are alone at home, it's 3am and you hear a noise... you can convince yourself, to the point of hysteria, that someone is coming for you.

It's when you stop and demand that you are being silly about it, that you rationally decide there is no one there. The threat was all in your head.

"What if" will always suck you in to whatever bad emotion you are pondering. Everyone who has a "miracle" is just full of crap, they just want attention. I'll believe a miracle when I meet a guy with one arm and the next day he has two, fully functioning arms. That would be a miracle.

"what if" is just a ruse ingrained in people from the cult. It's a PTSD reaction. It's no different than the sudden thought of...

what if god is speaking to you right now?
what if I am god typing to you right now.
would you believe that?

No

No one would believe it if god were here talking to you. Once someone claims that they are god talking directly to you, and others can see that proof, we suddenly decide that ther person claiming to be god is a fake and not god.

Why?

because most people need to keep the myth a myth. That's how it gets it's power. Rational thoughts OFF! <click>

I'm not god, you know I'm not god, and anyone reading this knows I'm not god.

And you know that if I claimed I was god you would call bullshit on me. Rational thoughts ON!!

Retrain your brain. When you hear these "stories" you should not think "what if", you should think "are you fucking kidding me with this shit".

I hope you are feeling better. Remember, you already know the truth, "what if" puts you back into the abusive lie. You don't deserve to be abused like that.

[Gneekly]

I concur with the above. Don't watch anything pro-Christian...it wil fuck with your mind. Also, if the guy was on drugs chances are he was still on drugs. I had a scare yesterday at church but quickly realized that I have nothing to fear...there is no cosmic boogey man.