When I was a Christian, I was recruited into the "Worship team"
I was a Christian for about 6 years.... but music has always been a part of my life, where I transcend the world around me, and "me"... and experience a place where I can breathe. This is since I was very young... I wasn't an "introvert", but I always felt I was in my own world... a lot of the time when I was young at school, I would sneak into a room and play the piano while other kids were outside. When I played, I could breathe. I can sit and play a piano for hours and enjoy it.... I can't read music though... only play by ear. Today I'm a composer for film and television and producer for acts and artists... In many ways I'm very lucky to have found the space to do something I love and it's ended up being how I make money. But, my story wasn't all sunshine and lollypop trees.. which I won't digress into too much in this.
So, while I was a Christian, I couldn't stand Christian music.... Someone at the church I went to said to me, "You know Jake, one day we'll be in heaven and we're going to worship God for eternity!".... and the thought of that made me feel a bit sick lol
I used to play in the "worship team" ( ) for a few years... playing the piano, and I would often play on my own while people prayed and meditated. I played for 1 and a half hours every Tuesday which was just for prayer and meditation... that's when I just got to play freely/improvise.
So after I left church and Christian community... and later realised Christianity is a delusion... That didn't take music away from me... it didn't take the transcendent experience from me.
For years, even before I was a Christian, I wanted to make music which, wasn't created to be from my heart because music is not from any 1 person.... The frequencies of energy and sound that we experience from any "artist" that we listen to are not from that "artist"... the experience we have listening to music is already part of us, the music we're experiencing is just frequencies lighting up parts of who we are. So the music I want to make is to be created to enhance whatever ability or methods or practices people use to access their own heart.
The trouble with this.... is I cannot capture these frequencies, until I have journeyed myself to a certain place...
Apologies for any negative association I bring by using concepts from words from a book we used to appreciate more....
but if I look at the heart as a wellspring which life, consciousness is released from... and that this wellspring can be blocked up with junk, which could be anything from unresolved emotional developments to all kinds of cognitive mechanisms we have developed in the environments we've grown up in... These blockages in this wellspring, our heart... Well, I need to clear those first, before I am able to make this music that would enhance a listener from clearing blockages themselves.
And that's where I see how far I am... because I have a lot of stuff to clear! lol
I make lots of music every week... but this music is different... and I've wanted to make it for years.
The last time I tried, was 12 months ago... and that track is linked below.
I only spent a day on it... and I completed it... Although I listen to it now, and it creates some level of the environment of frequency and experience... it's no where near where I need to be for this music.
But still.... it's on my iphone... and I put it on when I can't listen to anything else and I just need to be still and reflect.
So I dug it out and put it online today so I could throw it on here. This was made 12 months ago, and I'm going to try again this year..... I realised 12 months ago I needed more space to work on this... so I moved out to China 8 months ago... and I've setup a small studio where I can work and have space... so I will make something new soon!
"deserts and wellsprings"
Edited by Jake49, 13 June 2012 - 12:56 AM.