38 replies to this topic

[TotalWreck]

I try SO hard to "think positive", but it is VERY difficult and I can't ever do it for more than a few days at a time before I get exhausted and give up. Then I try again after a few days of moping and being sad. It's like a cycle. Trying to be "positive" is just as draining as being miserable. It's tiresome trying to think happy thoughts constantly and trying to fool myself into being happy when deep down I'm miserable and the world around me is a nightmare.

Has anyone else ever had this problem? Does this shit ever become a habit?

[florduh]

Positive thought linked with positive action does become a habit. Reinforcement through experience makes it so.

Positive thinking isn't magic. Expecting good outcomes brings about actions that lead to those outcomes. Expecting the worst offers no incentive to actually do anything useful, so it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. A lot can be accomplished if you don't take "no" for an answer.

[VacuumFlux]

Lying to yourself about how you really feel is draining and not a good long-term solution. It's much more productive to think "yes, things really do suck right now, I have every reason to be miserable, but since being miserable won't change anything, what can I do that will bring about a change?" Practice doing small constructive things that give you a feeling of control to develop a habit of problem-solving instead of moping when things are bad. The mood changes will follow eventually.

Also, don't forget to take care of yourself. Lately I've discovered that when I ask myself what I need to do to make things better, sometimes the answer truly is "I need some downtime to relax". Then I tell myself I am going to go spend time relaxing constructively and I'm not going to spend that time feeling sorry for myself. Then my fun-time has a completely different feel than all the times I've tried to relax but found myself just staring at the wall feeling numb and unproductive. Just make sure you're taking time to relax on purpose, so that you've got that feeling of being in control and making decisions.

[Chikirin]

I have a guided meditation mp3 i listen to, and i'm supposed to sit really still and try not to scratch if my nose starts to itch, for example. SHe asks me to practice "an affectionate turning towards..." the irritation or to the intruding thought or distratcion; this would be as opposed to the knee jerk reaction of automatic disgust i usually feel to most things.

[Inqui]

From the start of the year I decided I would become more positive. I figured only I can bring out this change in myself, and if nothing else I could take the positive outlook in any situation that could go either way.

The first time I remember this kind of crossroads was during the NFL season. My Ravens were playing the Bengals and ordinarily I'd have spent the week leading up to it quietly pessimistic, but this time I kept telling myself the Ravens would win this one. Sure enough they won, and I kept up this kind of attitude.

That kind of thinking has become reinforced, and I've been encouraging myself on how far I've come since January (double whammy!).

As the Chinese proverb says, to move a mountain you start with a rock. Or something.

[Positivist]

I am inherently a realist (although my husband says I'm a pessimist....lol) and haven't really gotten on board with the whole positive thinking stuff. Word of Faith pretty much sapped me dry of unwarranted hope and expectation.

I just read this great book a few months ago on the "positive thinking" movement:
http://www.amazon.co...d/dp/0805087494

Really interesting.

I think optimism is important, but when one keeps getting negative returns, it's hard not to become bitter!

[Positivist]

I think optimism is important, but when one keeps getting negative returns, it's hard not to become bitter!

Wow you stated exactly, to the letter how I feel about positive thinking perfectly, wow.

Christianity, namely Word of Faith variety, has made me gun shy about hope! A voice in my head is always like, "Don't hope! You know how that turns out!"

[Blue elephant]

It is all about positive action, rather than just thinking. When things seem pretty shitty, you need to adjust your outlook to focus on very small things that you can achieve to make things better about your situation.

The process of setting goals for yourself that are very achieveable and then achieving them is really good for your modd and self esteem. The problem is how to be realistic in the setting of the goals.

[TotalWreck]

I think optimism is important, but when one keeps getting negative returns, it's hard not to become bitter!

You said it all right there! After negative return after negative return, it's like "why bother?" eventually. So now I'm at the point where I don't force myself to do it anymore; I only "think positive" if I have extra energy to spare or if I'm already in an OK mood.

[TrailBlazer]

Yes, positive thinking can become a habit. The neurons in the human brain form certain connections and pathways that correspond with established thought patterns. Negative thoughts are one common habit; some are raised with this thinking or some are predisposed to thinking this way.

The body comes to expect the chemical messages sent and released by negative thinking; this is why changing a thought pattern is difficult. The brain is actually quite lazy this way. Thinking in a different way requires it work to form new neuron connections and send new chemical messages.

But after awhile these new connections become stronger and the old ones are cut off. It takes time and patience with yourself to change your thoughts. When you have a negative thought and you catch yourself, replace that thought with a positive one, say it out loud, remember to smile, and move on. It might seem strange, but it can plausibly work.

[TotalWreck]

Yes, positive thinking can become a habit. The neurons in the human brain form certain connections and pathways that correspond with established thought patterns. Negative thoughts are one common habit; some are raised with this thinking or some are predisposed to thinking this way.

The body comes to expect the chemical messages sent and released by negative thinking; this is why changing a thought pattern is difficult. The brain is actually quite lazy this way. Thinking in a different way requires it work to form new neuron connections and send new chemical messages.

But after awhile these new connections become stronger and the old ones are cut off. It takes time and patience with yourself to change your thoughts. When you have a negative thought and you catch yourself, replace that thought with a positive one, say it out loud, remember to smile, and move on. It might seem strange, but it can plausibly work.

Out of curiosity, how long (on average) does it take to make this a habit? Maybe I'd be more committed to working on it if I had a general time frame to look forward to.

[Vigile]

Dave posted a Point of Inquiry podcast the other day which discusses positive thinking a bit: http://www.pointofin...lk_nerdy_to_us/

I wish the cast had gone into more detail, but the person interviewed takes the position that it doesn't have the power we assign it.

[TotalWreck]

Dave posted a Point of Inquiry podcast the other day which discusses positive thinking a bit: http://www.pointofin...lk_nerdy_to_us/

I wish the cast had gone into more detail, but the person interviewed takes the position that it doesn't have the power we assign it.

So in other words it's a waste of time? I'll listen to the interview later today when I get the chance.

[Vigile]

Dave posted a Point of Inquiry podcast the other day which discusses positive thinking a bit: http://www.pointofin...lk_nerdy_to_us/

I wish the cast had gone into more detail, but the person interviewed takes the position that it doesn't have the power we assign it.

So in other words it's a waste of time? I'll listen to the interview later today when I get the chance.

Unfortunately, she doesn't provide her justification for why she thinks so in this interview. But it's definitely something to look into. Perhaps she has something else out there if you google her name.

[Legion]

Tony Robbins has $480,000,000.

[Vigile]

I like Tony Robbins. I think he has some good things to say.

[Legion]

So do I.

I recently saw a video where he spoke of anticipation, and something which Burnedout has been saying...

Check it out....

[Vigile]

Oh my. Yeah, some of the stock professionals I follow look forward to his yearly economic pronouncements so they can fade him and his followers. Easy money as those who make bets in a certain direction based on someone who doesn't really have a good handle on things usually get it wrong.

They do the same thing when magazines like Barons call market bottoms and tops.