msipsy218 Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 When my husband and I were married we were xtian. We were also broke. So we paid 50 bucks and said "I do" at a tiny chapel, all by ourselves on a Thursday afternoon. It was nice. I've always wanted a wedding though, and we planned to have a big ceremony for our 5th anniversary. Since deconverting it has become more important though, since I want to make promises to my husband and not to god. I feel that all of the promises we made we under a false pretense and I want a do-over, if you will So, I'm planning it as a vow renewal with some traditional wedding elements (big dress, bridal party, etc.) My question is, who would officiate? We are writing our own vows so I don't need them to do much, but someone needs to stand up there and give us our cues/ say sweet stuff about marriage or whatever, right? So how does that sort of thing generally go down in non-religious wedding/vow renewal ceremonies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerk Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 I have no clue what is normally done, but it's a neat idea. Maybe you should just have a friend who is good at speaking and being in front of people to officiate. An outgoing co-worker, perhaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheerbliss Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 I have to admit that vow renewals don't make any sense to me unless the couple has been separated. If you're already legally married, you don't need anyone to officiate. You can make your promises to each other in front of whatever friends and family you want to include. If you're not legally married, judges and ship captains have the authority to marry people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 Elvis would be my first choice. Or you can have any other impersonator you like. What do the two of you like? Really anything you both respect or love would work. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted December 22, 2012 Moderator Share Posted December 22, 2012 When my husband and I were married we were xtian. We were also broke. So we paid 50 bucks and said "I do" at a tiny chapel, all by ourselves on a Thursday afternoon. It was nice. I've always wanted a wedding though, and we planned to have a big ceremony for our 5th anniversary. Since deconverting it has become more important though, since I want to make promises to my husband and not to god. I feel that all of the promises we made we under a false pretense and I want a do-over, if you will So, I'm planning it as a vow renewal with some traditional wedding elements (big dress, bridal party, etc.) My question is, who would officiate? We are writing our own vows so I don't need them to do much, but someone needs to stand up there and give us our cues/ say sweet stuff about marriage or whatever, right? So how does that sort of thing generally go down in non-religious wedding/vow renewal ceremonies? Mspisy.... I just couldn't refuse sending you this thread from over a year ago!! I'll marry you!! I am Ex-c's Atheist minister!! Read the thread one day when you have time. We had soooo much fun that day!! It was a hoot!! Read the post, it's worth the laugh! I'll re-marry you !! It's around post 6,7 or 8 somewhere!! http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/52244-ordained-atheist-minister/?hl=%2Batheist+%2Bminister 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msipsy218 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Share Posted December 22, 2012 I have to admit that vow renewals don't make any sense to me unless the couple has been separated. If you're already legally married, you don't need anyone to officiate. You can make your promises to each other in front of whatever friends and family you want to include. If you're not legally married, judges and ship captains have the authority to marry people. Oh it's not a legal thing at all. We are 100% legally married. But when we were married we made promises to a god we didn't believe in and now I'd like to make promises to each other instead. Eh, I'm sappy like that, Plus, like I said, we couldn't afford the wedding I wanted so I'm going to have it now. Some people will certainly think it is tacky, but those people don't have to be there Elvis would be my first choice. Or you can have any other impersonator you like. What do the two of you like? Really anything you both respect or love would work. I'm picturing Chewbacca in a tux. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msipsy218 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Share Posted December 22, 2012 When my husband and I were married we were xtian. We were also broke. So we paid 50 bucks and said "I do" at a tiny chapel, all by ourselves on a Thursday afternoon. It was nice. I've always wanted a wedding though, and we planned to have a big ceremony for our 5th anniversary. Since deconverting it has become more important though, since I want to make promises to my husband and not to god. I feel that all of the promises we made we under a false pretense and I want a do-over, if you will So, I'm planning it as a vow renewal with some traditional wedding elements (big dress, bridal party, etc.) My question is, who would officiate? We are writing our own vows so I don't need them to do much, but someone needs to stand up there and give us our cues/ say sweet stuff about marriage or whatever, right? So how does that sort of thing generally go down in non-religious wedding/vow renewal ceremonies? Mspisy.... I just couldn't refuse sending you this thread from over a year ago!! I'll marry you!! I am Ex-c's Atheist minister!! Read the thread one day when you have time. We had soooo much fun that day!! It was a hoot!! Read the post, it's worth the laugh! I'll re-marry you !! It's around post 6,7 or 8 somewhere!! http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/52244-ordained-atheist-minister/?hl=%2Batheist+%2Bminister Well there we go! But you have to come to me, there is no way I could convice everyone to go to Canada. Georgia is great, we have a lot of trees and overalls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 We had a judge come and officiate ours. He was cool and said some nice things; all non religious. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 Well, you're legal and all, so it doesn't really matter who does the officiating. But if you were atheists the first time around, how would you have done it then? That should give you an idea about how you want or who you want to do it now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msipsy218 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Share Posted December 22, 2012 Well, you're legal and all, so it doesn't really matter who does the officiating. But if you were atheists the first time around, how would you have done it then? That should give you an idea about how you want or who you want to do it now I really have no idea. I probably would have posted on some random atheist forum asking who I would need to hire to officiate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 Well, you're legal and all, so it doesn't really matter who does the officiating. But if you were atheists the first time around, how would you have done it then? That should give you an idea about how you want or who you want to do it now I really have no idea. I probably would have posted on some random atheist forum asking who I would need to hire to officiate Oh... I think I know what might help. Be back in a bit, just got to go find the link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 Here we go. I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier. It's a podcast by The Thinking Atheist on the subject of atheist weddings. Maybe this will help you with your dilemma 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msipsy218 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Share Posted December 22, 2012 Very helpful, thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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