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Can You Imagine If Prayer Actually Worked?


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#1 par4dcourse

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:12 PM

People would be dropping dead the world over. Sports teams would be encapsulated because somebody is praying they don't score. All children would have monkeys and pubescent boys would have lots of sex. Nobody would get elected and congress would do nothing, much as it is now.
Flashy cars, huge TV's, and hookers would abound.
On the down side, a lot of us would be in hell.
Thankfully, telepathic communication with deities is still woefully inefficient.

Edited by par4dcourse, 02 January 2013 - 08:12 PM.

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#2 Akheia

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:42 PM

But what happens when two people pray for conflicting things? Two Christians can't both get the same job. They can't both get the same woman/man as a mate. They can't both get their way in elections. Poor God, it must be sooooo harrrrrrd to sort out how to resolve such conflicts.


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#3 noob

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:46 PM

 

But what happens when two people pray for conflicting things? Two Christians can't both get the same job. They can't both get the same woman/man as a mate. They can't both get their way in elections. Poor God, it must be sooooo harrrrrrd to sort out how to resolve such conflicts.

 

First come, first served? Wendyshrug.gif
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#4 Thought2Much

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 09:18 PM

But what happens when two people pray for conflicting things? Two Christians can't both get the same job. They can't both get the same woman/man as a mate. They can't both get their way in elections. Poor God, it must be sooooo harrrrrrd to sort out how to resolve such conflicts.

 

If someone else is praying for what you want, you just have to PRAY HARDER!


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#5 pratt

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 09:26 PM

of course prayer works,,,,

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#6 Margee

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 10:25 PM

 

But what happens when two people pray for conflicting things? Two Christians can't both get the same job. They can't both get the same woman/man as a mate. They can't both get their way in elections. Poor God, it must be sooooo harrrrrrd to sort out how to resolve such conflicts.

 

If someone else is praying for what you want, you just have to PRAY HARDER!

 

 

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and-the-winners-are-envelope-thumb190869............................thinking.............tumblr_mev6pbiXZr1qiy79xo1_250.png

 

 

 

 

 

thankyoujesus497.jpg


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God may not work.....but you could try wishing upon a star! Posted Image

#7 falemon

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 10:33 PM

If prayer worked I'd pray us all into a world where prayer doesn't function ... just like this one sad.png

 

Oh, and I'll be your God who hears your prayers and laughs :D And occasionally I'll come in earthly form performing miracles to give people false hope :P


Edited by falemon, 02 January 2013 - 10:42 PM.

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#8 Ro-bear

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 10:35 PM

If prayer worked, a lot of women around here would be walking around bow-legged.  Just sayin'.


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#9 OpheliaGinger

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 10:46 PM

 

 

But what happens when two people pray for conflicting things? Two Christians can't both get the same job. They can't both get the same woman/man as a mate. They can't both get their way in elections. Poor God, it must be sooooo harrrrrrd to sort out how to resolve such conflicts.

 

If someone else is praying for what you want, you just have to PRAY HARDER!

 


 

 

thankyoujesus497.jpg

 

 

I definitely use the starving children when people bring up such inane praises like the ones depicted.


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#10 mymistake

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:19 AM

If prayer worked then hospitals would be tiny, graveyards would not exist and Christians wouldn't have to make up all those pathetic excuses for why prayer doesn't work.


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/\/\.  /\/\.

There's an elegant solution to most Bible problems.  The Bible is the word of ignorant men who couldn't agree with each other.


#11 Jedah

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 01:32 AM

This thread is reminding me of sports games where both teams huddle and pray before the match. I can't be the only person who thinks that's ridiculous.


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#12 Akheia

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 02:00 AM

Jedah, I like that sig cartoon. Just wanted to say that.

 

What really broke through my faith and made me really start to question was how prayer just doesn't work at all. God really is lame, isn't he? I mean that in the purest sense of the word. He's lame. He answers prayers? Sure, only if nobody doubted even a teeny bit anywhere, if it was already something he wanted to do, if it was in your best interest ultimately, if it wasn't too out-of-this-world-impossible, if nobody was filming it or could provide evidence it'd really happened, and if it was something that could have happened via coincidence or other completely-understandable means.

 

Hell, by those standards *I* could bill myself as a being that answers prayer.


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#13 falemon

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:45 AM

I think the impotence of God played a big part in my de-conversion. I suffer from terrible spells of fatigue and insomnia, it's just plain torture spending 6-8 hours a day in your bed behind a mental curtain of fuzz, and no amount of praying had any effect. And that's not to mention some other medical things I needed healing for.

 

I always knew prayer had no effect on anything because I've prayed about these things for so long to no avail. Every week at the prayer meetings you would see people asking for the same prayers to be answered, and the ones that were answered were stuff that were bound to eventually come true anyway, like I want a job, and for a solid year they have no job, then it's a miracle :(

 

Just seemed to me that pastors were the selection of healthy individuals. I found it quite Darwinian. You need a healthy, physically fit, influential leader with a voice that can lead a choir and good enough looks to please the eye and not make you feel too sorry for them :) Anyone who didn't fit the bill would stay to the sidelines, any major sickness and you just cannot be a viable preacher.

 

And my pastor was just very resilient. He could sleep at will, had a strong immune system, and even when he did get an infection he was able to fight it off quicker than others. At 50 years old he could run at my pace (and I'm fast), in fact when we would have races he would be tying with myself and another guy who ran for South England.

 

Without any working out he was very muscular, and you can tell he is just built differently. So I could see that his health was nothing to do with his belief or faith, but his faith was purely a result of being a firm (root word for faith) survivor.

 

And it's not like I was asking god to do anything difficult either. Omnipotent my ass.


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#14 Vigile

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:21 AM

But what happens when two people pray for conflicting things? Two Christians can't both get the same job. They can't both get the same woman/man as a mate. They can't both get their way in elections. Poor God, it must be sooooo harrrrrrd to sort out how to resolve such conflicts.

 

It works like the stock market.  If more people buy than sell, the price moves up and vice versa.  This is why prayer chains and appeals for prayer on FB are necessary.  In the event of a stalemate, god just gives the job to the guy who is better looking. 


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#15 falemon

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 09:36 AM


If prayer worked, a lot of women around here would be walking around bow-legged.  Just sayin'.

What? You mean you'd have all the women here suffering from Genu Varum :o How cruel eek.gif


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#16 Tabula Rasa

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 03:33 AM

People would be dropping dead the world over. Sports teams would be encapsulated because somebody is praying they don't score. All children would have monkeys and pubescent boys would have lots of sex. Nobody would get elected and congress would do nothing, much as it is now.
Flashy cars, huge TV's, and hookers would abound.
On the down side, a lot of us would be in hell.
Thankfully, telepathic communication with deities is still woefully inefficient.

 
Par, after reading this, I couldn't help but think of the "Prayer answering scene." from Bruce Almighty:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0cG11lTS1E

 

To be honest, anyone of us with omnipotent power could do a better job of helping humanity with their problems than Jehovah.

For what it's worth. I'd freeze time , ignore the frivolous requests(football team wins etc) and go through all 7 billion cases until I found solutions that would make the world a better place for everyone.


Edited by Tabula Rasa, 04 January 2013 - 03:46 AM.

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#17 Ouroboros

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 11:52 AM

It doesn't work because I prayed to God to make it stop working. So there. Now you know. It worked one time...

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#18 par4dcourse

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 09:53 PM

I remember the scene, good call.

It's kinda like a religious Newton's 3rd law: for every prayer there is an equal and opposite beseeching.
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#19 mymistake

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 09:57 PM

It would have been more realistic if Bruce had clicked all and sent the answer "wait".


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/\/\.  /\/\.

There's an elegant solution to most Bible problems.  The Bible is the word of ignorant men who couldn't agree with each other.


#20 J.W.

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 10:03 PM

How about Dear God:

 

Let me many sets of teeth like crocodile so I will never have to see a dentist like.... ever

 

Or how about letting us grow limbs back so our wounded vets and kids can be whole again- you know- like you did for lizards. 


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