AzariaC7 Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 OK new topic, this time not about me being a worrywart or being a whiny scaredy cat. Have you guys ever had intrusive blasphemous thoughts or even Scrupulosity? I am struggling with both right now and my gosh(sorry for sounding like an annoying teenager), it is such a pain. I'm getting frustrated. I'm pretty sure I have OCD or something because I have to do certain things or chant stuff in my head to make the thoughts away. I'm kinda worried if God really is there, he'll hear my thoughts. :/ It's just that depressing. I'm scared of seeing Proverbs 4:23 and hearing "God knows what you think" and it makes my mental illness/anxiety worse. I also hope I'm not alone in this. I know I'm not with the Scrupulosity thing because I once saw a thread on here about it but now I can't find it. Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toma Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 I had a similar experience like yours. I was really anxious about my 'strange' undesirable thoughts, I tried hard to resist that thoughts in order to please god but it was impossible to do that, thoughts came. So it's not your fault what comes into your minds, in my case the more I tried to resist that thoughts the more it became stronger and caused me an extreme anxiety. But this anxiety passed with the time somehow, maybe my brain couldn't take it anymore and automatically rejected thiS nonsense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creative Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 OK new topic, this time not about me being a worrywart or being a whiny scaredy cat. Have you guys ever had intrusive blasphemous thoughts or even Scrupulosity? I am struggling with both right now and my gosh(sorry for sounding like an annoying teenager), it is such a pain. I'm getting frustrated. I'm pretty sure I have OCD or something because I have to do certain things or chant stuff in my head to make the thoughts away. I'm kinda worried if God really is there, he'll hear my thoughts. :/ It's just that depressing. I'm scared of seeing Proverbs 4:23 and hearing "God knows what you think" and it makes my mental illness/anxiety worse. I also hope I'm not alone in this. I know I'm not with the Scrupulosity thing because I once saw a thread on here about it but now I can't find it. Lol. Sorry to hear that, Imagine this: When you help a person, and at the same time think that person is an asshole and he deserves to be punched in the face.... are you then not a better person then a person that wouldn't have those thoughts? I mean despite those thoughts it is out of the kindness you your heart that you help him. Or if you have a tremendous lust to do something. And because of your love for god you decide not to do it.. isn't that worth much more then not having the thoughts of lust in the first place? I mean if you have these blasphemous thoughts and despite them you still chose to do gods bidding and love him isn't that love even stronger and more worthy? Wouldn't god appreciate that even more? What cruel god would punish you for that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceUnicorn Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 I have OCD. I went off my medication once because I was told that true Christians didn't need medication, and that all anxiety, intrusive thoughts etc. were satan. I did ok throughout the summer, but come fall I had a panic attack at an Alpha conference. Late at night in the hotel it popped into my head that I didn't believe in God anymore. I spent awhile holed up in the bathroom with my Bible trying to convince myself I believed. From there it was a month or so of hell while I got back on my medication. The thoughts that would pop into my head were truly awful and disturbing. I don't know why it happens, and it is a helpless feeling not being able to control it. I have been much better for about 6 years now. Have you seen a psychiatrist to be evaluated? If it's impacting your quality of life, it wouldn't hurt to get checked out. It does get better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creative Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 I did some reading up on OCD, however i still have no idea what kind of intrusive thoughts are being experienced. Could someone give me some examples of thees blasphemous thoughts plz.And when you say thoughts pop in, do you mean like images? or?Im sorry for asking but i would realy like to understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolaida Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Here's one of the threads. Hunter's thread could probably be considered about it, but it is a long thread. http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/58212-scrupulosity-aka-religious-ocd/ Usually, people with Scrupulosity also have OCD, but that is not always the case so it's best to get it checked out. Therapy is best first and then possibly meds depending on what the therapist recommends. It is difficult and frustrating. The sooner you recognize, accept it, and get it treated, the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 It's anxiety and OCD. As a teenager I struggled with this too. It got worse when I was under stress. Maybe try to find out the source of your anxiety. Been there, and it's painful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter93 Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 I have OCD/Scrupulosity as well. Defenitely seek some counseling for it. It will help you. I used to think the bad thoughts came from Satan but then when it got really bad, I started researching and came across anxiety disorder which led me to discovering OCD. I eventually pieced everything together and sure enough, in one of the earlier visits to my counselor, I was diagnosed with severe OCD. It was so bad that I ended up re-converting due to fear. I de-converted again out of the blue sometime later. It's awful. It truly is awful. It will hopefully get better for me and I hope it gets better for you too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoOrDoNot Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 I also use to have OCD/scrupulosity and still have lingering symptoms from time to time. I'd certainly recommend counseling from someone with experience with these issues. The judgement we have towards ourselves in these moments makes the symptoms worse. I'd encourage you to try to set the judgement to the side and explore what's going on in your mind with curiosity and compassion toward yourself. That's often a helpful first step. Also, if there is a God who knows our thoughts and created our minds,wouldn't he know when we're experiencing a glitch in our brain that's causing us to get stuck on the very thoughts we obsess about not thinking? Is it possible he might show some understanding about a disorder? I know how horrible this can feel and hope you expire nice relief soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoOrDoNot Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Ha! I wish I knew how to edit my post. "Expire nice relief soon" should be "experience relief soon"! Thanks auto correct function. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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