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Goodbye Jesus

Wow...this Poem Just Poured Out From Me--Free Style (No Edit)


Guest JordanRiver

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Wendyshrug.gif He rubs me the wrong way....

 

I suspect he has asperger's. You will probably rub everyone here the wrong way. They eat christians for breakfast.

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Guest JordanRiver

 

Well that is just a part of who I am. I cannot change that. Nor do I want to. I want to be like Jesus.

 

Soooo...there will always be an element of a "preacher" in every Christian since we are told to go out and make disciples etc.

 

But you have to admit it to me just once, that I have been good about NOT writing any scriptures.

 

No one is perfect. I said I will TRY. Relax

 

You want to be lilke jesus. I mean I onlyhave what is written in the bible to go on, and i have no idea where that shit came from anyway but in 36 years as a christian i met like 3 people who appeared to be anything like jesus. the rest of christians were just like any other asshole, but worse, because they mistakenly believe they are better. at least here in australia we dont have to put up with their constant bullshit.

 

What do you mean you don't have to put up with it there? How so?

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Guest JordanRiver

Ahhh okay..potential of an Asperger's( sp?)Diagnosis. Got it wink.png It's usually a sign of intellect.

 

My cousin has this.

 

And yeah, I can see that I MIGHT, just MIGHT be rubbing people the wrong way. I will take it down a few notches. HA!

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Let me clarify this for you

 

 

post-3274-0-75533000-1380251242_thumb.jpg

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Well that is just a part of who I am. I cannot change that. Nor do I want to. I want to be like Jesus.

 

Soooo...there will always be an element of a "preacher" in every Christian since we are told to go out and make disciples etc.

 

But you have to admit it me just once, that I have been good and NOT written any scriptures.

 

No one is perfect.

 

MM is perfect. You will learn this.

 

 

I've made plenty of mistakes.  One was so bad that I chose it for a screen name.

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Wendyshrug.gif He rubs me the wrong way....

 

I suspect he has asperger's. 

 

 

I can't believe that BO trolled you that bad.  yelrotflmao.gif

 

You guys should read up on what it means before you start using it like an insult.

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Well that is just a part of who I am. I cannot change that. Nor do I want to. I want to be like Jesus.

 

Soooo...there will always be an element of a "preacher" in every Christian since we are told to go out and make disciples etc.

 

But you have to admit it to me just once, that I have been good about NOT writing any scriptures.

 

No one is perfect. I said I will TRY. Relax

 

You want to be lilke jesus. I mean I onlyhave what is written in the bible to go on, and i have no idea where that shit came from anyway but in 36 years as a christian i met like 3 people who appeared to be anything like jesus. the rest of christians were just like any other asshole, but worse, because they mistakenly believe they are better. at least here in australia we dont have to put up with their constant bullshit.

 

What do you mean you don't have to put up with it there? How so?

 

10% of people here attend church, the rest worship beer and sport and the weekends. We don't still pretend here that we are a christian nation. People here don't give a shit about religion. We have grown past that.

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Was your biggest mistake becoming a Christian?

 

You don't have to comment if you don't want to thanks.gif

 

My biggest mistake has been not realising how essentially dishonest and self centred human beings are. Someone told me a god story, sounded legit, I listened and bought it. I was a kid. It was a lemon.

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Guest JordanRiver

 

 

Wendyshrug.gif He rubs me the wrong way....

 

I suspect he has asperger's. 

 

 

I can't believe that BO trolled you that bad.  yelrotflmao.gif

 

You guys should read up on what it means before you start using it like an insult.

 

 

 I did not use it as an insult. I said it is a sign of intellect with most cases.

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Was your biggest mistake becoming a Christian?

 

 

 

Becoming a Christian....Wendyshrug.gif

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Then again if someone hates Jesus or His ways...why should they spend eternity with Him. Jesus wants a bride that is ready for Him....not dragging her feet and disagreeing with Him

 

I think you mean Jesus wants to spend eternity with a bunch of sex slaves who wear blindfolds over their eyes and refuse to think for themselves until they die. Then once they die, he wants them to massage his massive ego forever.

 

Or perhaps Jesus was just a human puppet that Yahweh controlled, killed, and threw into Hell when he was bored with it... Who knows? Wendyshrug.gif

 

Some small voice in the corner cries out, "It's not Jesus, his name is Joshua! Jesus is a poor translation"

 

From what I can see, the poem is actually pretty good, regardless of who you're writing it about. It could probably use some more rhymes, but I'll admit when I see a poem that is well done, even if it is a poem about loving a narcissistic war lord who kills children and likes the smell of burning flesh, that may or may not have ever existed outside of the minds of gullible goat herders, who were easy to control for the narcissistic humans who wanted power over them.

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Was your biggest mistake becoming a Christian?

 

 

 

Becoming a Christian....Wendyshrug.gif

 

No one could have said it better!

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Guest JordanRiver

Thanks CrazyGuy123....I will take it as a compliment. I want to write more. Heck you never know, maybe I will even write a poem not about Jesus one day. Who knows? You know to expand my horizons etc. Maybe I will write a poem about ex-Christians. That sounds like a good idea, let me marinate that idea and see what comes out. Hey I could surprise all you ex-Christians with a poem for you guys from my heart to yours <3

 

 

YOU ALL WILL GET A POEM FROM ME ABOUT YOUR JOURNEYS....YAHOOO!

 

To be continued....

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Hey Jordan, the Holy Spirit came to me and it told me that Gawd wrote a song parody for you! I must be a prophet or somethin' woohoo.gif

 

I am insensitive

I have a tendency

To kill children for the things that their parents do

 

Sometimes I kill too much

Because of my blood-lust

Some don't understand why you stay with me

 

(Chorus)

I'm hard to love

Hard to love

No I don't make it easy

But I'd still do it if I stood where you stood

 

I'm hard to love

Hard to love

An' ya say that you need me

Cuz I said that if you didn't, I'd burn you in Hell

 

I am a short fuse

I fuckin' killed a dude

For touchin' my special little box

 

You're a damn good concubine

You're good at blind obedience

You don't care 'bout the shit that I do

 

(Chorus again)

 

You in Hell

 

Girl I've given you a second chance long ago

And I will always fuckin' take you for granted

 

I'M FUCKIN' GOD! I'M FUCKIN' GOD!

 

(Chorus again)

 

Now I think I know what you see in the guy! yum.gif  58.gif3.gif

 

Having the most power and the temper to kill a guy for touching the ark of the covenant, despite the fact that he tried to keep it from falling onto the ground, are all good qualities in a mate! Now if only I believed in a goddess who really love sex, but also kills children for what their parents do and is enough of a bitch to kill a dude for touching her special box!   smileydies.gif

 

For all who don't know, Gawd wrote a parody of this song:

 

Who knew he could write song parodies like that? Wendycrazy.gif

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Guest JordanRiver

That is not how He treats me at all.

 

He tells me I am one of the people He enjoys being with

 

He really is the best. He has me exactly where He wants me.

 

But He is not a man...He is God. Maybe that is how some men treat their women

 

But that is definitely not how He talks to me. 

 

When He tells me to do something, He is so sweet and kind

 

I can never tell Him no. It is not how you portrayed it to be.

 

Anyway.....I have the beginning idea of how I want the poem about ex-Christians to start.

 

I hope it turns out well.

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Anyway.....I have the beginning idea of how I want the poem about ex-Christians to start.

 

I hope it turns out well.

 

 

Oh sure, that won't be anything like trolling.  A Christian's take on ex-Christians.  I can hardly wait.   ezhappydead.gif

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Guest JordanRiver

You don't have to read it or answer my posts if you think I am trolling MyMistake....or do you want a special mention in the poem to make you feel better? Will that cause you to smile a bit more?

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You don't have to read it or answer my posts if you think I am trolling MyMistake....or do you do want a special mention in the poem to make you feel better? Will that cause you to smile a bit more?

 

A word of advise: don't start that game.  I'd kick your ass at poetry.

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That is not how He treats me at all.

 

He tells me I am one of the people He enjoys being with

 

He really is the best. He has me exactly where He wants me.

 

But He is not a man...He is God. Maybe that is how some men treat their women

 

But that is definitely not how He talks to me. 

 

When He tells me to do something, He is so sweet and kind

 

I can never tell Him no. It is not how you portrayed it to be.

 

Anyway.....I have the beginning idea of how I want the poem about ex-Christians to start.

 

I hope it turns out well.

 

Sure, maybe you think he's nice while you're still kissing his ass, but imagine if you stopped? If your god was real, he'd be eager to roast you in fire with the rest of us because the only difference between your god and Kim Jong Il is the fact that Kim Jong Il was real.

 

Also, how do you know he talks to you? Do you hear his voice inside of your head? How do you know it's not a mental illness that is causing you to hear voices?

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I will make sure not to anger Him. He is slow to anger though...thank You Jesus.

 

Slow to anger huh? Tell that to the guy who got killed for trying to prevent the ark of the covenant from falling to the ground when the oxen stumbled. The guy was trying to help, but because he touched the special box, he died. You're amusing Jordan. You are good at blind obedience. I'm sure Kim Jon Un would love to have you as a worshiper because you're oh so good at keeping corrupt dictators happy, even when it's one that exists only in your head.

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I will make sure not to anger Him. He is slow to anger though...thank You Jesus.

 

Slow to anger huh? Tell that to the guy who got killed for trying to prevent the ark of the covenant from falling to the ground. The guy was trying to help, but because he touched the special box, he died. You're amusing Jordan. You are good at blind obedience. I'm sure Kim Jon Un would love to have you as a worshiper because you're oh so good at keeping corrupt dictators happy, even when it's one that exists only in your head.

 

 

 

1 Chronicles 13: 9-10

 

"And when they came unto the threshingfloor of Chidon, Uzza put forth his hand to hold the ark; for the oxen stumbled.  And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Uzza, and he smote him, because he put his hand to the ark: and there he died before God."

 

So God can't be bothered to make sure the oxen don't stumble while moving God's ark.  But God can be damn sure to kill Uzza for doing God a solid and not letting the ark fall.

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I will make sure not to anger Him. He is slow to anger though...thank You Jesus.

 

Slow to anger huh? Tell that to the guy who got killed for trying to prevent the ark of the covenant from falling to the ground. The guy was trying to help, but because he touched the special box, he died. You're amusing Jordan. You are good at blind obedience. I'm sure Kim Jon Un would love to have you as a worshiper because you're oh so good at keeping corrupt dictators happy, even when it's one that exists only in your head.

 

 

 

1 Chronicles 13: 9-10

 

"And when they came unto the threshingfloor of Chidon, Uzza put forth his hand to hold the ark; for the oxen stumbled.  And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Uzza, and he smote him, because he put his hand to the ark: and there he died before God."

 

So God can't be bothered to make sure the oxen don't stumble while moving God's ark.  But God can be damn sure to kill Uzza for doing God a solid and not letting the ark fall.

 

 

Well, maybe he let Uzza into Heaven and gave him a fruit basket to make up for it.

 

"It's okay God, buddy!" Uzza says. 3.gif

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 1 Cor 13

 

 

Love is patient . . .  

 

. . . it is not easily angered . . . 

 

. . . always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.

 

 

I guess the God who killed Uzza wasn't love.

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