Super Moderator Popular Post TheRedneckProfessor Posted January 20, 2014 Super Moderator Popular Post Share Posted January 20, 2014 I cried myself to sleep again last night. I had hoped that you would come to me and talk to me; I waited up for you. But you didn’t come… You have been so many things to me over the years. You have been my provider, my hope in moments of despair, my strength in times of weakness. You have been my dearest friend, and my deepest love. I have always felt so grateful to you and have tried to live up to your expectations of me. I have tried so hard to be the person you needed me to be. But lately all of that has changed. It may be me and not you; I don’t know. You seem so distant. You won’t even do the simplest things I ask you to do for me. I’ve tried to talk to you about what I am going through and how it makes me feel. But all I get from you is stony silence. Like my words mean nothing to you. I even tried talking to your family about what I am feeling, hoping that they could help me get through this. I had hoped maybe they would talk to you for me. But instead they only told me that they never thought I was good enough for you to begin with. Do you have any idea how devastating it was for me to hear them say that? Especially after all I’ve been through with you and with them, it destroyed me that they would say such a thing. I can’t go on like this. I have done all I can to make you understand what I am going through. I wanted you to see what was wrong in our relationship so that we could work to change things and move forward. But I seem to be the only one interested in our relationship anymore. You seem to take no notice at all… I don’t know what I will do without you, or what will become of me. It may be hell. But I know that my life is in pieces now and I need to pick through the pieces and figure out which ones to leave behind and which ones to use to build whatever life I have left. I will not wait for you anymore… I’m sorry, Jesus; it is over between us. “Eternally Yours,” Me 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingernut Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 I hear you. At least with this one I don't have to hire any lawyers. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 20, 2014 Moderator Share Posted January 20, 2014 Breaking up is hard to do........ Excellent letter Redneck!! Sad...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 Jesus deserves to be dumped by text. Most people don't, but Jesus earned it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pratt Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 do you get to spilt the assets in vatican city? 50/50? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rach Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 There comes a point when we've waited long enough, and we just have to leave it. One of the most nerve-wrecking things for me was some silly Christian quote that said...and I wish I could find the exact quote it was Corrie Ten Boom or Helen Keller maybe....but the quote said that just when things were at their worst, and you couldn't take it anymore, or just when the night was the very darkest, that is when God would arrive and save the day. Well I waited till I couldn't take it anymore. And then years beyond that. And then years beyond that. I waited till midnight. And the skies got darker they didn't lighten. And Jesus, fuck, I've had enough of you and youre damned dad. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 ... And Jesus, fuck, I've had enough of you and your damned dad. And all your wretched brothers and sisters in christ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted January 20, 2014 Author Super Moderator Share Posted January 20, 2014 Jesus deserves to be dumped by text. Most people don't, but Jesus earned it. I see your point, but that was such an all-encompassing, 30 year relationship for me that a text alone would not have given me a significant enough sense of closure. For me, nothing would have sufficed but to say exactly how I felt about the whole thing. In fact, I said some pretty horrible things to jesus there at the end--truly hurtful and nasty things--that might have devastated the man, had he actually existed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 Good gawd, at first I thought you were breaking up with someone really important, like your wife. Well done, indeed. bill 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 Bill... "someone really important"! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 What kind of god would give someone who wants a relationship with it nothing but silence? What kind of god would allow someone to suffer at the hands of its followers and do nothing but watch it all go down? What kind of god would demand you worship it all the time and give you nothing in return, or else? A god that doesn't deserve to be worshipped, that's what. He and his followers have done enough damage, he doesn't deserve another minute of your time. Gods always behave like the ones who created them anyway. ... And Jesus, fuck, I've had enough of you and your damned dad. And all your wretched brothers and sisters in christ. Same here. Those "brothers and sisters in christ" were some of the most loathsome, cruel, dishonest, selfish people I've ever had the misfortune of meeting. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodsy Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Beautiful and tragic at the same time. You have painted what I am going through right now, Professor. I think it's called the point of no return. I still feel those pangs of longing to go back to my comfortable, bobble-headed existence of believing. I see other people who are quite happy and content with their life of faith. But I can't do that anymore. I am not like them! That has been the problem, I always wanted to be like them and I have failed. I need to find out exactly who I am and be content with that. Still on that journey..... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted January 21, 2014 Author Super Moderator Share Posted January 21, 2014 Beautiful and tragic at the same time. You have painted what I am going through right now, Professor. I think it's called the point of no return. I still feel those pangs of longing to go back to my comfortable, bobble-headed existence of believing. I see other people who are quite happy and content with their life of faith. But I can't do that anymore. I am not like them! That has been the problem, I always wanted to be like them and I have failed. I need to find out exactly who I am and be content with that. Still on that journey..... I was actually surprised how much of those old emotions came flooding back to me while I was writing this; it's been 10 years for me. You're right, there is a point of no return when you realize the even though you don't yet know who you are, you are definitely certain of who you are not. I'm glad you're with us, now, Woodsy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Beautiful and tragic at the same time. You have painted what I am going through right now, Professor. I think it's called the point of no return. I still feel those pangs of longing to go back to my comfortable, bobble-headed existence of believing. I see other people who are quite happy and content with their life of faith. But I can't do that anymore. I am not like them! That has been the problem, I always wanted to be like them and I have failed. I need to find out exactly who I am and be content with that. Still on that journey..... That was also part of my problem. I wanted to be like them too. I would have given anything to have been like them. It tore me up inside knowing I failed from the get-go. What would it take for me to be good enough like they were? I thought they were great at the time, but now I see them for what they were, and I'm glad I failed. I'm glad you did too. It shows that you have a mind of your own, and that you can think for yourself. The reason you've got that longing for the days of church is b/c it was the path of least resistance. It was familiar to you. Now you've seen religion for what it is, and that's something that churchies will probably never have the courage to do for themselves. Some of them are probably putting on a front to hide how unhappy they really are. That longing will get less with time, and soon it won't even cross your mind. They don't call it a journey for nothing, that's for sure. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pantophobia Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 I've said this before many times, but it's worth repeating: as soon as I realized that everything that was demanded in a "relationship" with my Father God and my Savior Jesus Christ was EXACTLY what were all warning signs in abusive relationships, it was over. There was no relationship at all, ever. In a relationship, if you tell someone you love them, they say "I love you too." If you're hurting and you need them to comfort you, they don't "test" you instead, or take indirect methods to respond because they "know best." If they love you, they build you up, show you respect and honor, and give back as much (hell, even SOME) of the love they're given from us. If you laugh or enjoy something, the person you love doesn't then take it away from you so that you pay more attention to Him. Someone you have a loving relationship with doesn't pile on hurtful, painful, abusive things "for your own good" "to make you stronger." A relationship doesn't mean you spend years struggling with the bleakest depression and self-loathing, but one day, there is a rainbow after it rains and that is supposed to be enough evidence of your "relationship" with the entities who supposedly love you the most, more than even the ones who are actually physically and emotionally present for you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingernut Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 I've said this before many times, but it's worth repeating: as soon as I realized that everything that was demanded in a "relationship" with my Father God and my Savior Jesus Christ was EXACTLY what were all warning signs in abusive relationships, it was over. There was no relationship at all, ever. In a relationship, if you tell someone you love them, they say "I love you too." If you're hurting and you need them to comfort you, they don't "test" you instead, or take indirect methods to respond because they "know best." If they love you, they build you up, show you respect and honor, and give back as much (hell, even SOME) of the love they're given from us. If you laugh or enjoy something, the person you love doesn't then take it away from you so that you pay more attention to Him. Someone you have a loving relationship with doesn't pile on hurtful, painful, abusive things "for your own good" "to make you stronger." A relationship doesn't mean you spend years struggling with the bleakest depression and self-loathing, but one day, there is a rainbow after it rains and that is supposed to be enough evidence of your "relationship" with the entities who supposedly love you the most, more than even the ones who are actually physically and emotionally present for you. Thank you so much for writing this. It made me cry because it is so true and I am still hurting. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 I feel you, ginger! It gets better. Let it out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaitingInfinity Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 Jesus put us all through abusive, exhausting, and phony relationships. He is the ultimate player. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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