Super Moderator Popular Post TheRedneckProfessor Posted April 12, 2014 Super Moderator Popular Post Share Posted April 12, 2014 On Thursday morning, my son and I went back home to the farm in North Carolina to spend a little time with the family. When we arrived at my Grandma's house, my son noticed that my Grandma was in the process of putting together a puzzle with a picture of the nativity on it. When my fundie mother (FM) asked my son if he knew what that picture was, Redneck Junior (RJ) responded, "Yeah, that's the fairy tale about jesus being born in a barn." Naturally, that response spun FM into a tizzy-whirl and she spent the better part of the next hour attempting to pit her logic against that of a five-year-old kid. I decided to let the conversation run its course, partly because I wanted to see if the boy could handle his business and not lose his wits; but I also wanted to get an assessment of the techniques I've been using to help him become a man who thinks for himself. Here are a few of the highlights: FM: The stories about jesus aren't just fairy tales; they are true. jesus is as real as you and me. RJ: PROVE IT!!! ... RJ: jesus isn't real because you can't see him. FM: You can't see the wind either but it's real. RJ: But when the wind blows hard, it can be measured by scientists. ... FM: Your great-grandpa went to be with jesus when he died. RJ: Nuh-uh! I saw his grave where he was buried. FM: His body was buried, but his spirit went to jesus. RJ: What's a spirit? FM: It's the part of you that makes you who you are. RJ: Do you mean your brain? FM: Well...erm... you might be too young to understand. RJ: No I'm not. Your brain makes you who you are. Did jesus take great-granddaddy's brain? FM: ... ... FM: jesus died on the cross to forgive us for all the mean things we do. RJ: I don't do mean things. Even my school teacher says I'm a good boy. FM: But we all do mean things. Everybody does, even me. RJ: That's not true! (little boy in his class) is a mean boy and he's even mean to the teacher; but I'm not like him. I'm a good boy. If you do mean things, you should say you're sorry and stop doing it. ... FM: Your daddy still believes in jesus, even if he won't admit it. RJ: He told me he don't; and my daddy don't lie. ... RJ: Didn't you know that a long time ago, monkeys started to change and eventually become people? FM: No, god created us when he made the world. RJ: Daddy reads me all different stories about how the world was made. There are a lot of gods. FM: But the bible says there is only one god who created the world; and the bible is true. RJ: Daddy says there are people who believe in Uluh (Allah) and they have a book that says he's real. ... FM: Lots of people believe in jesus because they know he is real. RJ: People who believe in Buddha are called Buddhists. FM: ... ... FM: I know jesus is real because I feel him in my heart. RJ: I sometimes pretend that I'm Thor. Thor had a hammer. ... FM: Well I'm just telling you what I believe. RJ: It's okay to believe as long as you know that it's just pretend. ... Finally, nearly reduced to tears, FM said, "Don't you want to go be with jesus in heaven one day?" To which RJ, still cold as ice, replied, "Don't be a silly-head, Grandma! Once you go above the sky, you just end up in outer space!" Between that conversation and the chance to get my hands on a jug of North Carolina's finest moonshine, I'd call the trip a complete success. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 He's a keeper for sure. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Well done, RedneckProfessor, great truth-based parenting! Just goes to show how much a 5 year old IS capable of understanding after all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 That's reassuringly hilarious 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator buffettphan Posted April 13, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted April 13, 2014 Smart Daddy - Smart Junior! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pratt Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 hopefully he still get presents for chrsimas and birthdays after that convo,,,, hahaha 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeExChristian Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 i wish i had the testicular fortitude this kid has 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue elephant Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I am VERY impressed! Hopefully FM realises she will have to do better than that. Although I think she would have done better if she could have done better at that moment! That little boy has got his thinking muscle in good working order! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 RedneckProf, not only is your son brilliant -- I see a potential future as a comedy writer if he's already that quick on the draw. "Did jesus take great-granddaddy's brain?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparklingphoenix Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 What a lucky kid! He has a great dad/teacher. I enjoyed reading this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellwood Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 This was fantastic! I have hope for the world now. Wish my 6 year old grandson could answer like that but currently he is in the process of brain washing. Sadly. He needs a friend like your son! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 FM: Well I'm just telling you what I believe. RJ: It's okay to believe as long as you know that it's just pretend. Love it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thereisnoperfect Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 FM: I know jesus is real because I feel him in my heart. RJ: I sometimes pretend that I'm Thor. Thor had a hammer. This is probably going to be the highlight of my entire week--and it's Sunday morning! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhim Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Wow Prof, you should be proud of everything you've taught your kid thus far. In a decade or so I doubt you'll have to worry about evangelicals when you send him to college. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryG Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 i wish i had the testicular fortitude this kid has Really. Not only some very impressive discussion there from a five-year-old, but the very fact that he didn't let himself be pushed into self-doubt by an adult is IMPRESSIVE. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 You have made me rethink my childless status! Excellent job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted April 13, 2014 Author Super Moderator Share Posted April 13, 2014 Y'all are way too kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Wow! Just, Wow! You're raising that kid right. Congratulations! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted April 13, 2014 Author Super Moderator Share Posted April 13, 2014 This was fantastic! I have hope for the world now. Wish my 6 year old grandson could answer like that but currently he is in the process of brain washing. Sadly. He needs a friend like your son! Bring the boy down with you next time you visit the balmy South. RJ would love to play with him, I'm sure. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted April 13, 2014 Author Super Moderator Share Posted April 13, 2014 Wow Prof, you should be proud of everything you've taught your kid thus far. In a decade or so I doubt you'll have to worry about evangelicals when you send him to college. My hope is that the evangelicals will have to worry about him! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted April 13, 2014 Author Super Moderator Share Posted April 13, 2014 i wish i had the testicular fortitude this kid has Really. Not only some very impressive discussion there from a five-year-old, but the very fact that he didn't let himself be pushed into self-doubt by an adult is IMPRESSIVE. I admit I was afraid he might start second-guessing himself when the conversation first started; but the way he just kept coming right back at FM with confidence exceeded even my highest expectations. A lot of her "points" he refuted with nothing more than an eye-roll and a snicker. I, too, wish that I had had that kind of testicular fortitude when I was his age; I could have spared myself a lot of want and woe. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted April 13, 2014 Author Super Moderator Share Posted April 13, 2014 He's a keeper for sure. He's got a touch of that good ole Carolina country wisdom in him. Come by it honest, I reckon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pantophobia Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 Go, young Redneck, go! And yeah, this put me on the floor, too: FM: I know jesus is real because I feel him in my heart. RJ: I sometimes pretend that I'm Thor. Thor had a hammer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesadclown Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 That was brilliant, especially given his young age. Thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodsy Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Awesome, Prof! I loved reading your post. Like father, like son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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