Aggie Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Or maybe... God, who hates murder, had himself murdered so that He will no longer be mad at the sinful people that He had cursed and made sinful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violetbutterfly Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 I just want to say I love this thread. It summarizes nicely all the concepts I could never quite grasp about Christianity (and what nobody could ever explain to my satisfaction). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Can't... stop... God, who is not a man (Num 23:19), became a man so that His self-predestined anger would be satisfied by the draining of His own hemoglobin. God, who is both Truth and Love, requires all to believe the dubious or he will torment them forever. Like this one AGJ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ousian Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 First, I'll steal one from Freud: "It would be very nice if there were a God who created the world and was a benevolent providence, and if there were a moral order in the universe and an after-life; but it is a very striking fact that all this is exactly as we are bound to wish it to be." I have a couple entries of my own, because I am not sure which is most absurd: "The salvation of the human soul is not contingent upon the act of intermediation (Jesus's sacrifice), but rather upon an individual's recognition of the aforementioned act." "God created an unfathomably large universe so that human beings could marvel at God's power before they are condemned to Hell for eternity." "Mankind is condemned to Hell as the result of one individual, created without any concept of sin, sinning." "For God so loved one particular species among one particular planet in the vast cosmos, that he sent his only son to die on the cross for our completely inevitable sins, so that the very small fraction of people who believed in an unknowable deity would be able to worship him forever." "The good news of the gospel- God killed himself two thousand years ago to forgive you for something you are incapable of not doing, but only if you believe it." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ousian Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Forgot one: "God allows sin to persist so that we may have free will, so that we may believe in God and go to heaven where there is no sin." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 If there is no sin in heaven, why is there sin on earth? Or, if there is sin on earth why is their sin in heave? If we humans will remain sinless in heaven why can we not on earth? Why? God's will. It is his fault. bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geezer Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Christianity is a catch 22. No matter what you do, how you do it, or how sincere your beliefs are you can't win and you will never be able to stop sinning. It doesn't matter how strong your "faith" is no human being can ever achieve the goal of actually "being in Christ". That is just not possible and that makes Christianity the ultimate "suckers" game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Well hell, it uses the the bible as its final word on truth. What else can we expect? bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ousian Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 If there is no sin in heaven, why is there sin on earth? Or, if there is sin on earth why is their sin in heave? If we humans will remain sinless in heaven why can we not on earth? Why? God's will. It is his fault. bill And even more interesting question, imo. If God allows sin so we can have free will, as many will assert, does that mean that there is no free will in heaven? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ApostateAwoken Posted April 16, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 16, 2014 Being all by himself, God created men in the image of himself, but we became separated from himself, so God impregnated a teenage girl with himself so that he could sacrifice himself to himself so that we can be saved from himself, but also become more like himself, replace ourselves with himself, spend an eternity as himself, with himself, and with his self-son, and all to bring glory to himself. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Being all by himself, God created men in the image of himself, but we became separated from himself, so God impregnated a teenage girl with himself so that he could sacrifice himself to himself so that we can be saved from himself, but also become more like himself, replace ourselves with himself, spend an eternity as himself, with himself, and with his self-son, and all to bring glory to himself. This made me laugh. +1--I'm on a mobile and can't give points. And what movie is this from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApostateAwoken Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Lilith: I think it's from the TV show Firefly - specifically, it's Simon Tam. It's even funnier because in the scene depicted he's reflecting: "This must be what going mad feels like." How uncannily accurate for this topic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorPoet Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Christianity: Looking someone directly in the eye and saying with a completely straight face a series of words that equates to, "I believe in magic". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJG Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 Being all by himself, God created men in the image of himself, but we became separated from himself, so God impregnated a teenage girl with himself so that he could sacrifice himself to himself so that we can be saved from himself, but also become more like himself, replace ourselves with himself, spend an eternity as himself, with himself, and with his self-son, and all to bring glory to himself. Threadwin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violetbutterfly Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 AA wins. But also: We recieve joy and happiness not by doing the things that make us happy, but by not doing the things that make us happy, because joy doesn't come from us, it comes from Jesus, and if you're unhappy you're being happy wrong. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 ''Be not afraid.'' It is the sentence most stated throughout the Bible. But, in the next breath...we will burn in hell if we don't do this, this, and that? Be not afraid though! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llwellyn Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 There is a way that seems wrong to a man, but in the end it leads to life. This is the converse, and the logical implication of the Bible verse stating: "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Proverbs 14:12. (However, if Yahweh might call "right" what we would call "wrong," this means that Yahweh might call "life" what we would call "death" -- and our assessments of value are incommensurable. The knot comes undone when pulled.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traveller2 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 this was on a big sign outside a church i went to in my late teens, "god loves you;we care too" shouldn't need too much explaining to fellow ex christians lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traveller2 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 "the beauty of the gospel is that it so simple" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traveller2 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Being all by himself, God created men in the image of himself, but we became separated from himself, so God impregnated a teenage girl with himself so that he could sacrifice himself to himself so that we can be saved from himself, but also become more like himself, replace ourselves with himself, spend an eternity as himself, with himself, and with his self-son, and all to bring glory to himself. thats fucking perfect and made me laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violetbutterfly Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 "the beauty of the gospel is that it so simple" I LOL'd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Here's one I just saw on a comment thread out on the net... "A cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master so that he can rid you of the sin that is in everyone because a talking snake told a rib woman to eat an apple from a magic tree." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Guess there's a t-shirt http://www.zazzle.com/christianity_tee_shirts-235439610692547452 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 God, who hates human sacrifice, sacrificed his human self to appease Himself since all the people He cursed were acting like accursed people. I haven't read through all the posts yet but so far, this one wins. It's Post 55. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rach Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?- Romans 8:32 (When I was a Christian I thought that was just peachy. Thanks God! Then I really started thinking about it. God...brutalized his son....shredded his skin..... nails in the wrists and thorns stuffed into his skull.... So this is how God provides? So this is something we applauded? What does that say about God that he provides in this brutal way, and what does it say about us when we want to get our goodies even at the expense of a man's torture? "Hey God, on second thought, you can keep all your great gifts that you were going to give me, please just don't torture your child") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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