FreeThinkerNZ Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 I've been going through a similar issue lately and I can really empathise. I'm trying to be gentle with myself and trusting that the spontaneous unwanted thoughts that sound like prayers will decrease over time. Thanks. I read the extimony in your signature. I've been depressed most of my life, so I can relate to your experiences. We seem to have had similar life experiences, I'm sure I could learn a lot from you. Hope to see you posting when you feel up to it. (I think you express yourself extremely well and I understand everything you say just fine). Go well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheild Maiden Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Even though I've been over Christianity for a year now, occasionally, I will randomly just start praying before a meal. I won't even say it out loud, I will start to say it in my head, and then stop myself mentally before I say "thank you for this food". I am surprised every time it happens too. It must just trigger an automatic response, because it was ingrained in us as second nature, we don't even think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadow Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 it feels good to pray. I was a Christian for 50 some years and a minister for awhile too. I am very emotionally attached to prayer sometimes but realize it is just something I was conditioned to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 When you don't want to pray, it doesn't feel good to pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miekko Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Thanks, everybody, for the encouragement. Normally I use the prayers as a home remedy for depression. I try to exercise every day and lately I'm trying to meditate as well. But in spite of all that I still get depressed almost every day. Repeating a prayer often makes me feel better, but then I realize what I'm doing and stop myself. So I've lost that cure for depression. I think my efforts to debunk Christianity might increase the depression too. I would suggest prayer might be useful to you do to the mental effects it has; try decoupling them entirely from belief - try thinking of them as mental calisthenics or whatever. That's how I do, although with Jewish prayers instead of Christian ones so as to avoid the baggage that Christian baggage would bring along for me. Prayer has an effect *in the mind that is doing it*, although nowhere else. If that effect relieves stress for you, why quit? You can pray without believing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 I have tried changing the prayers to be less specifically Christian, but I keep slipping back into old habits. Part of the problem is that I don't know what I believe. There are some things in Christianity that I think are almost certainly lies, but sometimes I wonder if there is a real God and maybe even a real Jesus in spite of that - like maybe God and Jesus sort of shaped the lies of Christianity into a kind of truth? Deciding what you believe would conceivably be a big step towards resolving this - even if it's a positive decision that you are happy with, and intend to stay, "not knowing". But take your time - rushing that will simply lead to more uncertainty. The key words here are "old habits", which, as the saying goes, die hard. A bit of meaningless repetition is no harm to anyone, in reality, and if it makes you feel somehow more secure, best to not worry about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neverlandrut Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 You shouldn't feel ashamed of or otherwise bad about your prayer habits. It really boils down to you talking to yourself to sort through your thoughts and feelings. If it's helpful, then there's no clear reason you shouldn't do it. If you wish to stop, then don't suppress the urge. Find something like watching hermit crabs that gives you the same level of pleasure and relief from your depression. When you start making the new thing a habit, it will drive out the prayer habit over time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miekko Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 You shouldn't feel ashamed of or otherwise bad about your prayer habits. It really boils down to you talking to yourself to sort through your thoughts and feelings. If it's helpful, then there's no clear reason you shouldn't do it. If you wish to stop, then don't suppress the urge. Find something like watching hermit crabs that gives you the same level of pleasure and relief from your depression. When you start making the new thing a habit, it will drive out the prayer habit over time. Is there even a need to find a substitute, if there's a successful decoupling of prayer from religion first? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neverlandrut Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Mind you, I'm not an expert, but I don't see any reason that there has to be a substitute, necessarily. I would think it depends on the individual. If, as you say, there can be a successful decoupling of prayer from religion, then I see no reason it has to be replaced. It Should only be replaced if the individual finds it a distressing habit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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