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Goodbye Jesus

Lion's Den Christian Survival Guide


Roz

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Don't be afraid to blatantly state what you believe is fact, that it's the 100% true word from an all powerful deity.  This is paramount.  Stand firm on your convictions because you would rather believe god than man.  Whenever you're conversing / debating with atheists, they automatically lose because you can't be shaken from your firm foundation.  Otherwise, you would be like them.  You'll burn in hell!

 

When presented with contradictions in your 100% true word of god (2 Tim 3:16, christian soldiers, remember that):

---Don't be afraid to say "I don't know."  And then never ever do research on that.  Just say "God hasn't revealed it to me yet."  Remember, Adam and Eve were kicked because they gained knowledge of good and evil.  Knowledge sucks.

---Alternatively, you could also say "you have to read it in the spirit."  Despite the fact that it's just christianese for "interpret it my way" and that virtually all ex-christians know that, you know that the holy spirit has indeed revealed it to you exactly as you interpreted it.  God > man, so stand firm!

 

When presented with scientific and archeological evidence contradicting your particular christian sect:

---Remember, the devil was the one who really planted those dinosaur bones

---Also, remember the good Ken Ham, who accurately stated that there's a difference between observational science and historical science.  Historical science is really just faith.  Checkmate, atheists!

---Don't forget that science is sometimes wrong, hence it's not like your religion, where it's 100% right all the time.  God is on your side!

 

When presented with all the horrific shit that went on in the OT:

---That's a different time with a different context.  Use "have to read it in the spirit" liberally here, because that will make "slaves for life" really mean "all slaves, regardless of their nationality, are set free with a retirement bonus after 7 years."  God was really teaching the Hebrews, his proposed holy nation of priests, the very important concept of being job creators. 

---When those silly atheists confront you with all the rape and killing those ancient Hebrews did, and that it's the same god who ordered those barbarities, just say to them "god is good."  Those people deserved it.  That man who picked up sticks on the sabbath?  Clearly that guy should be stoned to death. 

---However, try your very best to dodge the question as to whether or not you would actually throw a rock at that guy.  It was a very different time and a very different context.  Whatever you do, don't answer "yes."  You would, of course, in the same sense that you're willing to deprive gay couples from equal marriage rights and deprive the up and coming generation from learning "evilution."  Those devil worshiping scientists and engineers invented and built up all this wonderful technology so that you can live long happy lives, but that doesn't count because they say the earth isn't 6000 years old.

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Lol right on.

When people say "science has given more knowledge in one year than religion has on 2000" the appropriate response is "god gave those scientists their gifts of intelligence and therefore enabled them."

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It is perfectly acceptable to preface a statement with "I just believe" or "I just know in my heart." That = fact!

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Christians don't give a shit what's in the bible unless it helps their position. They'll be yelling with hellfire and brimstone conviction about those goddamn gays being unbiblical sinners then when you back them into a corner about some scriptural contradiction it's , "God's ways are mysterious...I havent a clue....I could never know because God is on a higher plane of intelligence than me..." :-)

 

Or they'll repeat the question, "How would YOU stop world suffering?"

 

Well, if I come up with an answer should I tell God cuz he obviously is clueless about the whole deal. :-)

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And don't forget that the bible clearly states that a fool says there in no god, so you know the atheist has no argument.................

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My Assemblies of God pastor's wife told us, "The man with the experience is never at the mercy of the man with the argument."

 

She didn't tell us about the woman with the experience or with the argument...

 

Afterwards, I'm guessing we sang "He Lives," with the lovely lines,

 

"You ask me how I know He lives, He lives within my heart."

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My Assemblies of God pastor's wife told us, "The man with the experience is never at the mercy of the man with the argument."

 

She didn't tell us about the woman with the experience or with the argument...

 

Afterwards, I'm guessing we sang "He Lives," with the lovely lines,

 

"You ask me how I know He lives, He lives within my heart."

 

Gee. My parents and two brothers also live within my heart. It's the only place they can live now because they're all dead and they're not coming back.

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---When those silly atheists confront you with all the rape and killing those ancient Hebrews did, and that it's the same god who ordered those barbarities, just say to them "god is good."  Those people deserved it.  That man who picked up sticks on the sabbath?  Clearly that guy should be stoned to death. 

 

Oh, they have an answer to this, of course. And that is that the Canaanites were engaging in child sacrifice. Therefore, the Israelites were justified in killing all of them (including children). 

 

So, killing children is OK in war, but not as a sacrifice to another god. 

 

And of course this idea that the Canaanites were sacrificing children is no doubt BS anyway.

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And yet Passover and Jesus are a-okay...?

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Guest afireinside

And yet Passover and Jesus are a-okay...?

The story of Noah

 

The story of Sodom & Gomorrah

 

The story of Passover

 

The story of Job

 

The story of Abraham and Isaac

 

Why celebrate stories of God killing or willing the deaths of innocent people? It's fucked up. True justice is God going to hell forever in our place.

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Sick and tired of christians just saying "I don't know why god did x or y in the bible, but this jesus story, that's 100% true."  Then they don't ever think or research any further. 

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"Sick and tired of christians just saying "I don't know why god did x or y in the bible, but this jesus story, that's 100% true."  Then they don't ever think or research any further."   Roz

 

 

Roz: Why not ask them which Xtian story they are referring, the one in Matthew , Mark, Luke, or John? bill

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You and I know what they'll do with that.  They'll mesh those stories up until they come up with the all-in-one gospel that somehow makes it so that jesus did all those things.  They'll counter like Ironhorse does with "well those are minor details, the inconsistencies prove the bible is true." 

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And yet Passover and Jesus are a-okay...?

The story of Noah

 

The story of Sodom & Gomorrah

 

The story of Passover

 

The story of Job

 

The story of Abraham and Isaac

 

Why celebrate stories of God killing or willing the deaths of innocent people? It's fucked up. True justice is God going to hell forever in our place.

Not to minimize your point, but at least in all of the above stories, the human suffering ends with the sufferer's death. Jesus, on the other hand, tortures you FOR ALL ETERNITY! Given only two choices, I'll take the God of Israel over the false messiah Jesus any day.

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Actually… it's suspected that the Hebrews and the Canaanites were sacrificing children (people, whatever) early on. The remains of children's bones have been found in the foundations of very ancient Canaanite and probably Hebrew buildings. There are a few scriptures which also allude that child sacrifice was common practice very early (probably at and/or before the time the Hebrews separated from their Canaanite cousins), especially first born children. (first fruits and all that). 

 

It was kind of popular way back when in most places… except, strangely, in Egypt. It does seem to have fallen out of favour at some point… in all the surrounding regions… being replaced by animal sacrifice and dogma and very proscribed ritual.

 

Judaism (ancient) and Christianity are all about blood sacrifice though. Jesus is a first born sacrificed child (hmmmmm)

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And yet Passover and Jesus are a-okay...?

The story of Noah

 

The story of Sodom & Gomorrah

 

The story of Passover

 

The story of Job

 

The story of Abraham and Isaac

 

Why celebrate stories of God killing or willing the deaths of innocent people? It's fucked up. True justice is God going to hell forever in our place.

 

 

Your sentence, "True justice is God going to hell forever in our place." is close to what happened.

True justice would be us going to hell. Instead Jesus took our place.

 

One writer I read put it this way....six hours of eternity on a cross.

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This is the god who could encapsulate fucking ETERNITY of hell on six hours on a cross, but yet can't make a square circle or make his bible without contradictions.

 

He can bend space and time, but yet can't make his book free from error.

 

SUCK.gif

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This is the god who could encapsulate fucking ETERNITY of hell on six hours on a cross, but yet can't make a square circle or make his bible without contradictions.

 

He can bend space and time, but yet can't make his book free from error.

 

SUCK.gif

 

 

God works in mysterious ways.

 

And I'm glad yellow.gif

 

If we could figure it all out...what fun would that be Wendytwitch.gif

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This is the god who could encapsulate fucking ETERNITY of hell on six hours on a cross, but yet can't make a square circle or make his bible without contradictions.

 

He can bend space and time, but yet can't make his book free from error.

 

SUCK.gif

 

 

God works in mysterious ways.

 

And I'm glad yellow.gif

 

If we could figure it all out...what fun would that be Wendytwitch.gif

 

 

Your definition of fun has killed your fellow christians by fellow christians, has killed those who follow a different religion or no religion by fellow christians.

 

If god is a king, and he has given free choice if humans would choose his rule or not, then the kindest thing he can do is to make it impeccably clear to every human his rule and government.

 

This is what we demand of our elected officials, this is why 'lying politician' is a common pejorative.  You would rather humans be confused, because that would be fun for you.  How arrogant of you, but expected.

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One writer I read put it this way....six hours of eternity on a cross.

 

 

Drama alert. Cue tears and kleenex.

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This is the god who could encapsulate fucking ETERNITY of hell on six hours on a cross, but yet can't make a square circle or make his bible without contradictions.

 

He can bend space and time, but yet can't make his book free from error.

 

SUCK.gif

 

 

God works in mysterious ways.

 

And I'm glad yellow.gif

 

If we could figure it all out...what fun would that be Wendytwitch.gif

 

 

Your definition of fun has killed your fellow christians by fellow christians, has killed those who follow a different religion or no religion by fellow christians.

 

If god is a king, and he has given free choice if humans would choose his rule or not, then the kindest thing he can do is to make it impeccably clear to every human his rule and government.

 

This is what we demand of our elected officials, this is why 'lying politician' is a common pejorative.  You would rather humans be confused, because that would be fun for you.  How arrogant of you, but expected.

 

 

 

What did Jesus say that is unclear to you?

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When jesus specifically commanded the deaths of infants for one.  Care to explain that to me?  That's one big fucking warning sign that says "don't vote for that guy!"

 

Remember, he and his father are "one."  So that means he was there and he commanded that.

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When jesus specifically commanded the deaths of infants for one.  Care to explain that to me?  That's one big fucking warning sign that says "don't vote for that guy!"

 

Remember, he and his father are "one."  So that means he was there and he commanded that.

 

Jesus and his father are one, yet Jesus sits at God's right hand, or sits at his own right hand....

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When jesus specifically commanded the deaths of infants for one. Care to explain that to me? That's one big fucking warning sign that says "don't vote for that guy!"

 

Remember, he and his father are "one." So that means he was there and he commanded that.

Jesus and his father are one, yet Jesus sits at God's right hand, or sits at his own right hand....

Sits on his vertically inclined middle finger.

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