Aries256 Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 My journey to now was paved with self suffering, and the suffering of others, and others making me suffer for things beyond my control. Starting with a priest who when I attended catholic school, took me aside and told me I didn't belong there due to my dad being divorced. My parents marriage being profane in the eyes of the church my existence was also profane. He to my face, a 1st grader told me I should've died at birth(I was premature and stillborn), and that I should be punished for living when god intended for me to die...... I'm not joking. That incident moved my family from catholic to lutheran, where I remained until the day I dumped xtianity entirely, after a long fight with myself and others over the fact that I'm gay. I always hid my homosexuality, which festered into self loathing. After the praying, and attempts to convert to straight on my own didn't work, I attempted to reach out to others for help, and was only met with slurs, bullying, death threats, wishes of suicide. I was a abomination destined to hell for how I was born. I eventually came to terms with who I am after attempts of suicide failed, exorcisms failed, and religion insisted conversion therapy programs failed. I reread everything I was taught, read the buybull again trying to find something to help me be right, to help me please god jesus and the church. Only this time everything just sunk in, I saw what I was really following like a switch in my head had flipped. I saw the calls for murder, the mistreatment of women, the hypocrisies, the lies. It all just flooded into my head. Despite all the bloody evidence placed right there in front of me I continued to go to church, throw away my hard earned money, and get a now fill of anti gay bigotry, and continued to vote and support what was against my own well being. More and more I saw the damage xtianity did as I studied history. As the fight for gay rights, and women's rights heated up and the church's attacks became more vile I had enough. I grew tired of feeling like I was a lesser being, that my gay and lesbian friends were lesser beings, the realization of the mutilation of circumcision that was done to me without any choice, just all the truth about the church and xtianity hit at once. How could a loving god make us and hate us so much? How could a loving god allow murders, beatings, and mistreatment of good people for who they are? It all imploded in on me, and I stopped caring what the church and xtians thought of me, and literally just stopped, threw my hands in the air and said f this s**t. After a good round of listening to prop 8 arguments, seeing the commercials and the lies, in anger and hurt, I tore my buybull in half and threw it in into a fire pit doused it in lighter fluid and burned it to ash. It literally felt like chains fell off me, ropes that had bound me for so long, keeping me in self oppression was gone. I could be me, all of me, and I wasn't a bad person like so many said I was, like I thought I was. Forgive the bad writing, I'm not a good writer but this is my brief summary of my shedding xtianity. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Welcome. Enjoy the rest of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Welcome. You've had a tough time. I hope you are now able to find stability without the shackles of others' bigotry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Aries256: You're not a bad writer. You're an honest writer and you tell truth well. I'm glad you are free now. You will get a lot of support here. bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aries256 Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 Thanks everyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApostateAwoken Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Welcome to the forum. You will find many others here who have gone through trauma like you thanks to organized religion. Glad to have you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roz Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Welcome, just want to say that my English ain't so grand either, but you know what, your post is more sincere than any apologetic defense for the christian god I've ever read. It's like a breath of fresh air once we cast off that bible, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aries256 Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 [quote name="Roz" post="940845" timestamp="1398032788" It's like a breath of fresh air once we cast off that bible, eh? Like a breath of fresh air, after being imprisoned in a non ventilated coal mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtify Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Welcome Aries256, What happened to you in school is just sickening. I'm glad to hear you have escaped the mental prison of christianity! The more I hear stories like yours, the more I realise how truly repulsive the bible is. I'm glad you burned it. Reading that you did that, just made my day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aries256 Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 Welcome Aries256, What happened to you in school is just sickening. I'm glad to hear you have escaped the mental prison of christianity! The more I hear stories like yours, the more I realise how truly repulsive the bible is. I'm glad you burned it. Reading that you did that, just made my day! Yaaaaaaay! If I have one left here somewhere, BBQ time! Get some hamburgers, light some cigars with a few pages, beers and let's see how many "sins" we can do in one night Hahahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aries256 Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 Yeah I couldn't, still can't believe that asshole said that right to my face. At least I wasn't raped. :/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neverlandrut Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I am appalled that a priest told you that you should have died!! Religious or not, that is psychological abuse and should not be allowed, even behind the guise of religious freedom. That being said, I'm glad you've found some peace. Just keep living, and being you, holding onto the things that bring you joy. You'll make it just fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Holy fucking shit, how dare that priest talk that way to you when you were in first grade, let alone say it at all. First grade! You were just a baby! How horrible. And the idiocy and cruelty thrown at you because you're gay is reprehensible. Good for you for surviving that and throwing it all away and burning that crap. If those xians want to talk about sin and evil, they should look in the mirror. And welcome to you, Aries256! I am so glad you've made it through, and made it here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aries256 Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 Thanks I got in a new laser, it burned up some xtian buybullbabble quite nicely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abrooks2007 Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Hey Aries. Reading your story brought up a whole lot of memories. I am openly gay myself and reading that line about what that "priest" said to you…it was so repulsive that i put my laptop aside, breathed, and then read the rest of your story. My testimony, "My Divorce from Christianity (1st Post)" is in this forum as well, just written a couple of days ago. Reading your story continues to solidify that I did the right thing…and honestly, I wanted to give you a big hug. So here's a cyber one. *HUGS* Glad that you have found your freedom. Find your intuition, your abilities, and have that be your "religion" of sorts, if you will. It is for me. As for the Bible…a collection of tales woven together by men who believed they were "divinely inspired." And a lot of the shit in it, such as the order supposedly from God to Saul to murder entire populations, deserves to be burned. -Andrew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aries256 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 Hey Aries. Reading your story brought up a whole lot of memories. I am openly gay myself and reading that line about what that "priest" said to you…it was so repulsive that i put my laptop aside, breathed, and then read the rest of your story. My testimony, "My Divorce from Christianity (1st Post)" is in this forum as well, just written a couple of days ago. Reading your story continues to solidify that I did the right thing…and honestly, I wanted to give you a big hug. So here's a cyber one. *HUGS* Glad that you have found your freedom. Find your intuition, your abilities, and have that be your "religion" of sorts, if you will. It is for me. As for the Bible…a collection of tales woven together by men who believed they were "divinely inspired." And a lot of the shit in it, such as the order supposedly from God to Saul to murder entire populations, deserves to be burned. -Andrew BIIIIIIIIIG cyberhugggggg Yeah everyday reading some of the horrible BS that abrahamic religion causes, not just to gay people, but to pagans, women, and children everyday just stokes the fires of my anger to this rancid pile of bullshit known as xtianity, and islam. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abrooks2007 Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Islam is even worse, in my view. I mean, to this day they still stone people, mistreat their women, make their populations live in fear, and, of course, blow up buildings supposedly in a day of mass human sacrifice to their "god." Oi. BTW Aries..looking at your location…seems you live close to me. I live a mile west of downtown L.A. Andrew 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aries256 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 oh islam is much worse, bunch of psychotic loons. I am right along the LA/Ventura county border pretty much 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abrooks2007 Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Aries256: Cool (regarding LA/Ventura border). Check your messages. I had thought, at first, that Bill Mahrer was overexagerrating when he talked about the "lunacy" of religion in his documentary "Religulous." But the more I read, the more I watched, and the more I thought, the more that I believe he's correct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aries256 Posted May 14, 2014 Author Share Posted May 14, 2014 Same here, I used to grind my teeth at Bill Maher, but he is definately right same with. George Carlin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutchie Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 It is well written! Thank you for posting this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted May 14, 2014 Moderator Share Posted May 14, 2014 Welcome Aries!! I am so glad you are here with us. Do not ever again in your life allow anyone to tell you that you are not a wonderful person. Ever. Keep posting and reading...we're all in this together.... *hug* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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