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How Many People Here Lost Their Marriages Over Deconverting?


Darklady

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Just wondering how many people here actually lost their marriages over deconverting?

 

I am personally unsure how much influence it had on my break up, as there were considerable abuse issues happening anyway,

and it took me about four years after first realizing I was an atheist till when I managed to escape.

 

But I do have vivid memories of the day I told my ex I no longer believed, I had about two hours non stop yelling at me, I was apparently about to become a baby murdering adulterer ...

 

 

 

 

 

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Sounds like the kind of marriage that was worth losing.  Glad you got out.

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My aunt decided her husband wasn't spiritual enough so left my uncle for a super-spiritual Christian from Baltimore who turned out to be a bludger and my uncle met someone better and lived happily ever after. I was shocked they separated but the more I listened to my aunt the more I realised how she saw herself as a special believer and thought she had the right to discard my uncle because he was a nominal believer despite all they had.

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My aunt decided her husband wasn't spiritual enough so left my uncle for a super-spiritual Christian from Baltimore who turned out to be a bludger and my uncle met someone better and lived happily ever after. I was shocked they separated but the more I listened to my aunt the more I realised how she saw herself as a special believer and thought she had the right to discard my uncle because he was a nominal believer despite all they had.

 

What I don't get is that these super-spiritual Christians believe in divorce when Paul gives them an out to live with unbelieving spouses, especially Christian wives with unbelieving husbands. The Bible is very clear that divorce is wrong so how can they claim to be so super-spiritual?

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I am currently separated. We already had issues, but my deconversion was never something she could get over. So, the fundamentalist is about to have two ex-husbands. How's that godly life working out for her?

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Guest afireinside

 

 

My aunt decided her husband wasn't spiritual enough so left my uncle for a super-spiritual Christian from Baltimore who turned out to be a bludger and my uncle met someone better and lived happily ever after. I was shocked they separated but the more I listened to my aunt the more I realised how she saw herself as a special believer and thought she had the right to discard my uncle because he was a nominal believer despite all they had.

What I don't get is that these super-spiritual Christians believe in divorce when Paul gives them an out to live with unbelieving spouses, especially Christian wives with unbelieving husbands. The Bible is very clear that divorce is wrong so how can they claim to be so super-spiritual?

Because she believed she was being led by God. She is a believer in the spirit being superior to the word.

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Just wondering how many people here actually lost their marriages over deconverting?

 

I am personally unsure how much influence it had on my break up, as there were considerable abuse issues happening anyway,

and it took me about four years after first realizing I was an atheist till when I managed to escape.

 

But I do have vivid memories of the day I told my ex I no longer believed, I had about two hours non stop yelling at me, I was apparently about to become a baby murdering adulterer ...

 

I would love to hear more about the day you told your ex-partner you didn't believe, if you want to share it.  Don't feel any pressure to though, I don't want to pry.  As for my marriage, I sorta deconverted my husband.  When I was deconverting in the summer of 2012, I talked to him a lot about my doubts.  He always had the reason, "but look at the beauty of nature, it must have been created" idea that caused him to accept the biblical creation story and the bible.  But, eventually after countless examples over months, he stopped believing.  He started laughing at my jokes long before he accepted that he no longer believed.  I don't feel guilty for contributing to his deconversion, I was just sharing my journey with him and it was painful for both of us.

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Just wondering how many people here actually lost their marriages over deconverting?

 

I am personally unsure how much influence it had on my break up, as there were considerable abuse issues happening anyway,

and it took me about four years after first realizing I was an atheist till when I managed to escape.

 

But I do have vivid memories of the day I told my ex I no longer believed, I had about two hours non stop yelling at me, I was apparently about to become a baby murdering adulterer ...

 

 

I would love to hear more about the day you told your ex-partner you didn't believe, if you want to share it.  Don't feel any pressure to though, I don't want to pry.  As for my marriage, I sorta deconverted my husband.  When I was deconverting in the summer of 2012, I talked to him a lot about my doubts.  He always had the reason, "but look at the beauty of nature, it must have been created" idea that caused him to accept the biblical creation story and the bible.  But, eventually after countless examples over months, he stopped believing.  He started laughing at my jokes long before he accepted that he no longer believed.  I don't feel guilty for contributing to his deconversion, I was just sharing my journey with him and it was painful for both of us.

Sure, its fine. My ex was a fundy but a wayward one, in that he didnt like going to church, and due to moving about five years previous to this incident, which incidently was also when started my journey away from god really started, we hadnt been to church for years, and in many ways were living like there was no god anyway, we still said grace at dinner, but that was about it, so i didnt think it was such a big deal, although he was always very scathing about gays and other things.

Anyway we were in the bloody car on a trip, heading home, when during a conversation about i dont remember what, i happened to say, well i dont beleive in god anymore anyway... And oh shit.. I was stunned by the reaction and for the rest of the drive, about two hours he went on and on about how could i not, and people who dont are ommoral and i just wanted to have an affair, and i must now regreat having our kids... It was pretty crazy, but he did have some serious mental,issues anyway. The one about our kids kind of stunned me,

 

 

The next few years it didnt come up very often, although in the last year or so it did, as i found this site and he knew it, also my eldest son gave me a copy of "the god delusion" which i had out in the open... That set off another tide of abuse.

 

Oh well....

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I am currently separated. We already had issues, but my deconversion was never something she could get over. So, the fundamentalist is about to have two ex-husbands. How's that godly life working out for her?

Sorry to hear that, do you have any kids?

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Sounds like the kind of marriage that was worth losing.  Glad you got out.

Yea, life is pretty good now, i have amazing kids.

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My aunt decided her husband wasn't spiritual enough so left my uncle for a super-spiritual Christian from Baltimore who turned out to be a bludger and my uncle met someone better and lived happily ever after. I was shocked they separated but the more I listened to my aunt the more I realised how she saw herself as a special believer and thought she had the right to discard my uncle because he was a nominal believer despite all they had.

What I don't get is that these super-spiritual Christians believe in divorce when Paul gives them an out to live with unbelieving spouses, especially Christian wives with unbelieving husbands. The Bible is very clear that divorce is wrong so how can they claim to be so super-spiritual?

Because she believed she was being led by God. She is a believer in the spirit being superior to the word.

 

 

So she is a believer in her own invented thoughts being superior to the invented thoughts of an ancient culture. Interesting.

 

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My aunt decided her husband wasn't spiritual enough so left my uncle for a super-spiritual Christian from Baltimore who turned out to be a bludger and my uncle met someone better and lived happily ever after. I was shocked they separated but the more I listened to my aunt the more I realised how she saw herself as a special believer and thought she had the right to discard my uncle because he was a nominal believer despite all they had.

 

What I don't get is that these super-spiritual Christians believe in divorce when Paul gives them an out to live with unbelieving spouses, especially Christian wives with unbelieving husbands. The Bible is very clear that divorce is wrong so how can they claim to be so super-spiritual?

E

Because she believed she was being led by God. She is a believer in the spirit being superior to the word.

 

So she is a believer in her own invented thoughts being superior to the invented thoughts of an ancient culture. Interesting.

I agree with that, if you talk to believers their god always thinks just like they do.

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I am currently separated. We already had issues, but my deconversion was never something she could get over. So, the fundamentalist is about to have two ex-husbands. How's that godly life working out for her?

Sorry to hear that, do you have any kids?

One kid that is all grown up. He's also an atheist and I get blamed for that, even though he figured it out before I did.

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For what it's worth, I had just the opposite happen.  My first wife left me because I went from nominally religious to hardcore fundamentalist.  She didn't want to waste her life trying to find god's plan when she was fairly certain such a plan didn't exist.  I don't blame her for leaving; but I do realize now that it was a damn shame because we were really happy together.

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For what it's worth, I had just the opposite happen.  My first wife left me because I went from nominally religious to hardcore fundamentalist.  She didn't want to waste her life trying to find god's plan when she was fairly certain such a plan didn't exist.  I don't blame her for leaving; but I do realize now that it was a damn shame because we were really happy together.

 

Interesting, did you deconvert before your second marriage? Or is that in danger for the opposite reason?

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For what it's worth, I had just the opposite happen.  My first wife left me because I went from nominally religious to hardcore fundamentalist.  She didn't want to waste her life trying to find god's plan when she was fairly certain such a plan didn't exist.  I don't blame her for leaving; but I do realize now that it was a damn shame because we were really happy together.

 

Interesting, did you deconvert before your second marriage? Or is that in danger for the opposite reason?

 

I was still in the process of deconversion when I remarried.  My second wife was still a christian at the time, so while I attended church with her, I never hid my lack of belief from her.  A few months into the marriage, the preacher at the church began demanding money for a new building project and it pissed my wife off.  She hasn't wanted to go to church since then, though she still nominally believes in some sort of undefined higher power.

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My aunt decided her husband wasn't spiritual enough so left my uncle for a super-spiritual Christian from Baltimore who turned out to be a bludger and my uncle met someone better and lived happily ever after. I was shocked they separated but the more I listened to my aunt the more I realised how she saw herself as a special believer and thought she had the right to discard my uncle because he was a nominal believer despite all they had.

What I don't get is that these super-spiritual Christians believe in divorce when Paul gives them an out to live with unbelieving spouses, especially Christian wives with unbelieving husbands. The Bible is very clear that divorce is wrong so how can they claim to be so super-spiritual?

Because she believed she was being led by God. She is a believer in the spirit being superior to the word.

 

 

Given my own background in a super-religious/spiritual community, I would insist she is totally deceived and misled by Satan. Then again, I'm atheist now and don't believe in supernatural beings of any sort, good or evil, so she can't be misled by Satan. She could, however, be misled by her own desires or self-righteousness or a host of other not-so-holy and very natural reasons.

 

I'm reading my former post again and I see you were literally answering my question. I just don't understand beliefs that the spirit is superior to the word. I thought the Bible/Word was foundational and the final authority for Christians. Apparently not for all. I just find her behaviour callous and disgusting. That's all.

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We basically deconverted around the same time. She still has belief in a god, angels, spirit guides, and so on. But not the Bible god.

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