MerryG Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 xtify, you are in one sick situation and there's only one solution: get out of it. I know that isn't easy, but if things are as poisonous as you describe, then you're not only allowing yourself and your husband to be manipulated, you're endangering your kids' emotional health. If you feel guilty or obligated, then find a way to send your parents a little money every months. But find a way to get out of there. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryG Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Kurari, that's so sad about your friend. It's hard to say, though, how much christianity has ruined her and how much she has just allowed christianity to become an excuse for her failure to take charge of her life and actually LIVE it. I have a friend who sounds somewhat like her. My friend has lived a much, much fuller life than yours, but she is still stunningly passive in taking care of her own problems or going after her own desires. She just sits and waits for somebody else -- god, a friend, a relative -- to fix anything that might be wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HulkDeez Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 You need to tread lightly with this one... I think if she has not expressed wanting to live outside of the "christian box", then don't even push the subject. As they say, you can teach an old dog new tricks, however the mind has to be willing. At 50, your friend would obviously have a lot of experience in seeing how the world has evolved around her whilst she has been living under the christianity thumb. Maybe she is comfortable and wishing upon those god given pipe dreams are all worth it for her. When I expressed my concerns about the faith to so called christian friends around me, I walked away from these conversations feeling attacked and like everyone thought that I was losing my mind. Tread lightly friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 My mother said she was going to commit suicide today. I'm really getting sick of the manipulations. She does this whenever she recognises that she's done something wrong, in lieu of apologising. I'm worn out from all of this! xtify, I really feel for you. Well done for tolerating the intolerable for so long. I have no words of advice for you but I just wanted to express empathy. You are a stronger person than I am. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtify Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 Thank you Freethinker and MerryG. I actually feel bad for posting anything. I know it is a bad situation, but my mother is 74. She would be homeless if I didn't tolerate it. Don't worry too much about me. I've come to realise I'm a fairly strong person. My husband and my kids love me. Yes, my parents "love" me, too. But they are fundy, toxic controlling people who can never be wrong. At the end of the day, it has to be about what is best for all of us. I could never live with myself if my parents were homeless because of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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