DoubtingNate Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 I am working on an open letter to my 3 year old son to help me think more about parenting with regard to faith questions. Would appreciate feedback from other parents. What do you think is the most important thing to tell you kids about religion/God? Here's what I have so far: Dear Son, I'm writing this to you while you are still 3 years old because I want to be ready for whenever it is time to talk about church, God and religion. You may have wondered why I don't go to church like so many of your friends/family do. The short answer is: I stopped believing in those things some time ago. I also don't believe in psychics, horoscopes, astrology, magic crystals, unicorns, and all kinds of other things that other people might believe in. One thing I do believe very strongly, is that every person deserves the freedom and space to ask their own questions, do their own investigation to learn as much as possible about the world we live in. So my advice to you is the same: ask lots of questions. Ask your friends, your teachers, the grownups you meet in church, anyone who is willing to talk to you. Ask them about God, the Bible, or anything else. Ask politely and respectfully and most people will be happy to tell you what they think. If someone ever tries to make you feel bad for asking, just ignore them and ask someone else. Ask me or your mom - you may get different answers, and there's nothing wrong with that! If you get an answer you don't like, figure out why you don't like it and if there might be a better answer. Go online and read as much as you can about science, history, different religions all over the world - anything you get your hands on. Don't believe anything someone tells you just because they might seem smarter or more grown up than you. The grownups in your life might be allowed to tell you what to do, but they can't tell you what to think. They could be wrong! And that includes your mom and me too. Everyone is wrong about something. We might not be able to go take you Disney every summer or send you to the best college. But if there's one thing I can give you that's even better than money, it's the freedom to decide these things for yourself! Not every kid gets this - lots of people are just told by their moms and dads what to believe, and not to ask questions. I want to promise you that I will never do this. Go to church with your friends anytime you want. If you like, I'll be happy to take you with me, and I'm sure Mom will too. We can go on church field trips together - but only if you want to! But at the end of the day, after your mom and I are gone, you are the person who will decide whether or not to go to church or believe in God or Jesus. I care more that you are using your own brain than what end up believing in. The stuff in your brain is yours and nobody can ever take that away from you! Even though you're only 3 right now, I can tell you are going to be very smart and that you will be able to do lots of awesome things during your time here on earth. Keep putting good stuff in your brain and you'll get smarter. But no matter what happens, we love you. You can believe the weirdest thing in the world and it won't change how much we love you. Another thing I believe in is kindness. No matter what you believe, always be kind to people around you, even if they seem weird or different. If you ever go to a church where they are unkind to outsiders, I will strongly recommend finding another one. If I don't manage to teach you anything else, try to remember these two things at least: do you own thinking and be kind to others. The rest is up to you. I can't wait for you to be old enough to talk more about these things! And don't forget - your mom and I will always be there for you, no matter what! Love, Daddy 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 This is a good letter. I am facing a similar situation with my own daughter and have considered doing this as well. She is only 1 though, so I still have a little time to think it out. But I think you are on the right track here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted April 23, 2014 Moderator Share Posted April 23, 2014 That's great! I would phrase it present-tense and read it to him now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted April 23, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted April 23, 2014 Nate, I have a 5 year old and I started considering how best to teach him concerning beliefs, faith, and indoctrination. There are several good books on the subject and I would highly recommend "Parenting Beyond Belief" by Dale McGowan (http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Beyond-Belief-Raising-Religion/dp/0814474268). One of the things I do is read bedtime stories to him from different religions. I have a book called "I Was Once a Monkey" that has fun little tales from the Buddha. I have another book that tells stories from Islam. I even have a book that has different creation myths from different cultures around the world. My goal isn't necessarily to prevent him from ever accepting a religion, but rather to help him learn to think for himself. So far, he understands that fairy tales are good because they teach us things or make us feel better; but when people start to pretend that fairy tales are true, that's what religion is. Lastly, if you haven't already seen a thread I started a couple of weeks ago entitled "Redneck Junior Rides Again" you should check it out. It demonstrates that the methods I have been using are being effective. If I remember right, it's posted right here in the Ex-c Life forum. http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/61868-redneck-junior-rides-again/#.U1e9p2XD_cs 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 All great, DoubtingNate. The only thought that comes to mind to me is to add a line about trying not to be afraid. So much of Christianity focuses on making people be afraid to learn, ask questions, challenge, accept one's own opinions, etc. I've had many talks with my kids about such things. I always tell them to beware when people encourage guilt or fear as opposed to honesty, humility, and compassion... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Sweet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roz Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Your son will have something the majority of his generation won't have. The open freedom to think, to reason, to investigate this world. This boosts my hope for America, thanks for sharing! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubtingNate Posted April 24, 2014 Author Share Posted April 24, 2014 All great, DoubtingNate. The only thought that comes to mind to me is to add a line about trying not to be afraid. So much of Christianity focuses on making people be afraid to learn, ask questions, challenge, accept one's own opinions, etc. I've had many talks with my kids about such things. I always tell them to beware when people encourage guilt or fear as opposed to honesty, humility, and compassion... Thanks Aggie, and all of you! I feel like I'm writing to myself as well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeExChristian Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 i was denied this freedom. it's good to know that there are parents who exist that do not deny this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted April 25, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted April 25, 2014 i was denied this freedom. it's good to know that there are parents who exist that do not deny this Quoted for truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 It's a good letter. Might be worth saying something to the effect that his own ideas and beliefs will change over time and that is perfectly O.K - he's not committed to follow a philosophy for ever just because it seemed right at the time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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