The Meaning Of Life After Deconversion + Your Manifesto

[Dagny]

The consequence of (my) deconversion to atheism is that there is no clearly defined meaning of life anymore, no goal and no dictated rules. Indeed this is liberating, but at the same time it also leaves many questions unanswered. So I have accepted that it's up to me to decide what I want to live for - and that this is a personal, subjective, choice - other people are free to choose other values and goals.

 

I also realized that I already have made some decisions in my life that say a lot about who I am. So choosing your meaning, goals and values is not just a conscious process, it's also based on your personality (which is in part subconscious) and how much you act accordingly.

 

My goal in life is to leave this world a better place, which requires me to strive for excellence in everything I do. And I want to enjoy life at the same time, which is best done my sharing your life with people as much as I can.

 

This is incredibly broad and vague, I know, and pretty ambitious. Let me clarify it a bit with some other thoughts I have:

1. "to leave this world a better place"

Focus: work towards an ecologically, economically and socially sustainable world.

Dos: choose an environmental carreer, volunteer in various ways, live a minimalist lifestyle, donate what I can miss

Don'ts: pollute unnecessarily, don't be self centred, don't ignore injustice.

2. "to strive for excellence in everything I do"

Dos: work hard but avoid stress, work smart and efficiently, follow my passions, manage my time very well.

Don'ts: be a perfectionst, don't procrasinate, don't set unrealistic goals, don't take more responsibilities then I can handle, don't get myself overworked.

3. "to enjoy life"

Dos: exercise a lot, make music, make art, be optimistic, share.

Don'ts: be lazy and waste time on activities that do not satisfy me, don't worry, don't focus on goals in the future but focus on the now.

4. "sharing my life with people"

Focus: I think that sharing is the best way to become happy and at the same time make other people happy.

Dos: be friendly, be kind to strangers, have fun with my friends and family and be there for them if they need support

Don'ts: live alone, don't ignore people, don't be self-centred.

 

There is some overlap between these points. It's a work in progress, but I am happy to have this written down. It's a good start. What do you think of my manifesto in the making? Any suggestions on how to further explore this and how to find meaning in life?

With your suggestions I'll improve what I've written and use it as a first version of a personal manifesto that I'll read every morning.

What about you? What is your meaning in life? What are your goals and dreams? What does life mean to you? And I'm curious about your manifesto, so if you have one you can share it and if you want to start writing it you can do it here!

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Hell yeah!  Get out there and do some good in this world.

[maxmaxmaxmax]

Sounds brilliant. Even though I have done a lot of thinking on this topic (probably thought about it constantly since deconverting 3 years ago), I haven't tried to write it out into a concise manifesto. I would like to go away and do that properly then I'll get back to you.

 

In the meantime, some thoughts:

 

I try to have values rather than rules. Leaves less room for anxiety. What happens if you break a rule? Self-flagellation? Or its mental equivalent?

 

Some values in the order in which they are occurring to me right now:

 

Understanding the world through science and learning

Being happy in the world

Engaging with people as much as possible

Making others happy

Being in love and enjoying love

Laughing at stuff

Setting and achieving goals

Creating beautiful art

Enjoying beauty

Enjoying life's simple pleasures

Liberation

Conquering fear

Leaving a positive legacy

Justice

Being myself

Being happy with who I am

 

Quite vague I know. But I love these kinds of threads so I couldn't not post. I will do a proper refined version at a later date.

 

Yours is great though. Hope you achieve everything you want to achieve.

[amateur]

I'd add "enjoying the moment" which would sometimes mean not DOING anything, but stopping and relishing the moment.  Doing nothing more than truly seeing the beautiful sunset, listening to my friend's laughter, stopping and closing my eyes and feeling the breeze against my skin.

 

I guess that's still doing something, but, well, I mean, nothing active, but 100% focused on the one beautiful moment.

 

Definitely leaving my little corner of the world a better place.  I don't have any great desire to make world improvements, but if everybody made their own little piece of the world nice, imagine how awesome that would be!

[FreeThinkerNZ]

I like the way you are thinking.  Freedom rocks, doesn't it?
 

 

What about you? What is your meaning in life? What are your goals and dreams?

 

 

My meaning in life: 

1. Focussing on living this one life as best I can, without recourse to an imaginary afterlife. 
2. Loving my family (I don't have children, so I will only live on in the memories of those closest to me).

 

My goals: 

1. To have a good job (provides adequate income; satisfying; with the least stress achievable with those things)
2. To have meaningful, enjoyable connections/relationships with other people, in ways that don't compromise my wellbeing.
3. To seek knowledge and understanding of anything and everything that interests me.
4. To make good decisions on everything from recycling to voting.

My dreams:

1. To be sustainably financially independent, allowing me to survive and thrive (thriving means achieving goals 2 and 3).
2. To be physically well, live to a ripe old age, and die in my sleep.

[DoubtingNate]

Try to find your own meaning through relationships, work, play, and learning about the world you live in.  Show kindness and compassion to everyone you meet.  Try to leave the world better than you found it.  Don't let others define these things for you; do your own thinking and question everything.  If you are in a position to do these things, count your blessings, because most people aren't.

 

Given my lifelong love/hate relationship with Scripture, I think Ecclesiastes 9:7-10 sums this up beautifully, and is worth sharing, with a few small edits.I shared this in another thread but I think it is worth mentioning here.

 

 

 

Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do.8 Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9 Enjoy life with your wife <whoever>, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.

[Dagny]

Hell yeah!  Get out there and do some good in this world.

Thanks man!

 

Sounds brilliant. Even though I have done a lot of thinking on this topic (probably thought about it constantly since deconverting 3 years ago), I haven't tried to write it out into a concise manifesto. I would like to go away and do that properly then I'll get back to you.

 

In the meantime, some thoughts:

 

I try to have values rather than rules. Leaves less room for anxiety. What happens if you break a rule? Self-flagellation? Or its mental equivalent?

 

Some values in the order in which they are occurring to me right now:

 

Understanding the world through science and learning

Being happy in the world

Engaging with people as much as possible

Making others happy

Being in love and enjoying love

Laughing at stuff

Setting and achieving goals

Creating beautiful art

Enjoying beauty

Enjoying life's simple pleasures

Liberation

Conquering fear

Leaving a positive legacy

Justice

Being myself

Being happy with who I am

 

Quite vague I know. But I love these kinds of threads so I couldn't not post. I will do a proper refined version at a later date.

 

Yours is great though. Hope you achieve everything you want to achieve.

I like the ideas of values instead of rules. Too many rules make you feel bad if you can't live up to them. I think it's important to be happy and relaxed while you're learning things instead of demanding yourself to be perfect.

 

Awesome list! Someone living your list of values would be an awesome person. Curious to see how you develop this!

 

I'd add "enjoying the moment" which would sometimes mean not DOING anything, but stopping and relishing the moment.  Doing nothing more than truly seeing the beautiful sunset, listening to my friend's laughter, stopping and closing my eyes and feeling the breeze against my skin.

 

I guess that's still doing something, but, well, I mean, nothing active, but 100% focused on the one beautiful moment.

 

Definitely leaving my little corner of the world a better place.  I don't have any great desire to make world improvements, but if everybody made their own little piece of the world nice, imagine how awesome that would be!

Good point. I love that too! Since tend to be quite relaxed I have a few moments every day that I just enjoy. For example I saw a nice sunrise this morning, I went to my garden to water the plants, etc. I feel like these are the best moments!

 

You make your corner of the world a better place, then I focus on mine! Then this world has at least too great little corners!

 

 

I like the way you are thinking.  Freedom rocks, doesn't it?

 

 

What about you? What is your meaning in life? What are your goals and dreams?

 

 

My meaning in life:

1. Focussing on living this one life as best I can, without recourse to an imaginary afterlife. 
2. Loving my family (I don't have children, so I will only live on in the memories of those closest to me).

 

My goals:

1. To have a good job (provides adequate income; satisfying; with the least stress achievable with those things)
2. To have meaningful, enjoyable connections/relationships with other people, in ways that don't compromise my wellbeing.
3. To seek knowledge and understanding of anything and everything that interests me.
4. To make good decisions on everything from recycling to voting.

My dreams:

1. To be sustainably financially independent, allowing me to survive and thrive (thriving means achieving goals 2 and 3).
2. To be physically well, live to a ripe old age, and die in my sleep.

 

Indeed it rocks! I see that you use it well, I love your list. I hope it's ok if I borrow some of your ideas

 

 

Try to find your own meaning through relationships, work, play, and learning about the world you live in.  Show kindness and compassion to everyone you meet.  Try to leave the world better than you found it.  Don't let others define these things for you; do your own thinking and question everything.  If you are in a position to do these things, count your blessing, because most people aren't.

 

I think Ecclesiastes 9:7-10 sums this up beautifully, minus the white robes and anointing oil.  I shared this in another thread but I think it is worth mentioning here.

 

 

 

Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do.8 Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9 Enjoy life with <whoever>, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.

 

Thanks for sharing, interesting verse!

[Neverlandrut]

Awesome! Sounds like a good starting point to me! I'm still figuring that one out too. I'm not bothered anymore by the prospect of no "ultimate meaning" to life. For myself, I value living an honest life, having nothing to hide or be ashamed of. I want to be a healthy, whole human being. By doing that, I think I will do what I can to leave this world better than when I entered it. In my deconversion, I am already more compassionate toward others. Ironically, I wasn't as a Christian, even though I tried to be. I was too busy trying to please god to care about other people.

[Margee]

I'd add "enjoying the moment" which would sometimes mean not DOING anything, but stopping and relishing the moment.  Doing nothing more than truly seeing the beautiful sunset, listening to my friend's laughter, stopping and closing my eyes and feeling the breeze against my skin.

 

I guess that's still doing something, but, well, I mean, nothing active, but 100% focused on the one beautiful moment.

 

Definitely leaving my little corner of the world a better place.  I don't have any great desire to make world improvements, but if everybody made their own little piece of the world nice, imagine how awesome that would be!

 

I love, love, love this thread!! I am sooooo ready for this!! Oh amateur, I can soo relate. There is a new freedom that is happening to me and I can't really explain it, except to say that I've come to acceptance with the whole earth trip. Now I really want to love,relax, smell the roses and have some fun! Thank you for posting this Dagny!!

 

*hug*

[R. S. Martin]

My goal in life is to enjoy it and learn everything I can about the world.

 

Meaning of Life: The fact that I have life means I am responsible to figure out how to live it ethically and with personal integrity. I don’t think life has intrinsic meaning in and of itself.

 

As a legacy, I wish via my writing to leave behind some of the insights I learned. 

[amateur]

To add on to the idea of "leaving my little corner of the world a nicer place," I'd like to add something I heard some years ago that made a huge impact on me.

 

I was at a school and the principal made the morning announcements, then added at the end, "If all of us picked up and threw away three pieces of litter today, and repeated that every day, our neighborhood would be clean!  Don't add to the litter, and pick up just three pieces!  I'm going to start doing that today!"  

 

So when I left the school I went and picked up three pieces of litter and put them in the trash.  I've done that most days since.  It takes a few seconds and I've done my part.  I feel no compulsion to clean every bit of litter, but if I pick up three pieces a day, and don't litter myself (which I never did), it does look a bit nicer by the end of the week.  I've never felt like it was up to me to save the world, but I can certainly contribute a little bit to the niceness.

 

The same principle can be applied to smiling and saying hi to three people a day, or waving at three babies, or making three people laugh or smile, or whatever little thing could add a little happiness.  

 

Tiny bits of effort add up.

[R. S. Martin]

To add on to the idea of "leaving my little corner of the world a nicer place," I'd like to add something I heard some years ago that made a huge impact on me.

 

I was at a school and the principal made the morning announcements, then added at the end, "If all of us picked up and threw away three pieces of litter today, and repeated that every day, our neighborhood would be clean!  Don't add to the litter, and pick up just three pieces!  I'm going to start doing that today!"  

 

So when I left the school I went and picked up three pieces of litter and put them in the trash.  I've done that most days since.  It takes a few seconds and I've done my part.  I feel no compulsion to clean every bit of litter, but if I pick up three pieces a day, and don't litter myself (which I never did), it does look a bit nicer by the end of the week.  I've never felt like it was up to me to save the world, but I can certainly contribute a little bit to the niceness.

 

The same principle can be applied to smiling and saying hi to three people a day, or waving at three babies, or making three people laugh or smile, or whatever little thing could add a little happiness.  

 

Tiny bits of effort add up.

 

I guess it depends on what kind of world people want. I like that I can go out for a walk and expect most of the people I meet to mind their own business--not try to make me laugh or smile....But a world in which a hundred people can all pick up three pieces of litter every day...if there's that much litter blowing around I guess it's time to get started with clean-up. Maybe it's time to bring in a machine and do the job right, then place garbage barrels here and there and teach people to use them. The barrels will have to be emptied regularly. Teach people the horror of litter, the health hazard, and that everyone can contribute to a healthy environment by picking up their own litter. 

 

Maybe that line wasn't meant the way I took it. I live beside a coffee shop and elementary school in downtown where hundreds and hundreds of people walk many times a day. A fair number buy take-out at the coffee shop. One always sees a few coffee cups blowing around and sometimes I think the litter is getting worse but there's never that many pieces of litter. Some public places and businesses put litter barrels or bins on the sidewalk. Most people take care of their own litter. People speak badly of young people who litter up the place right after it's been cleaned up. We like clean streets and greens. If there's parts of the world that aren't neat and clean like this, then I'd like for them to know about this effective do-it-yourself method. That would be my way of making this world a better place.

[amateur]

^^You live in Canada, which is much cleaner than the US, especially where I live.  I regularly see people (adults) tossing cig packages, fast-food wrappers, and losing lottery tickets out their car windows in parking lots.  Yes, that is gross and lazy.  I can either complain uselessly about it, or pick up my three things a day (and take them to the garbage can which is always conveniently placed nearby).

 

There are times I shake my head at my fellow citizens.

 

And I was thinking of smiling and saying hi to people as only including relevant people and situations, not total strangers, as yes, I agree, being assaulted by strangers is usually weird and annoying (unless I purposefully hold a door open for an elderly person or a cute guy, in which case I definitely smile).  I was actually thinking more about my elderly clients, where I could either care for them quickly and efficiently (which is perfectly acceptable), or take a little time to talk to them and make them smile or even laugh.  My clients really liked me because I would take extra time to talk to them, let them talk, and try to say something cheerful or silly, and laugh at their jokes.

[R. S. Martin]

Amateur, this clarification sounds like you are a really nice person, someone I'd enjoy meeting.

 

I've been told the States is not as clean as Canada but I didn't exactly believe it. Canadians are always looking for reasons to bad-mouth the Americans. If you're picking up this much garbage on a daily basis you must be a truly good person. Keep up the good work.  

[R. S. Martin]

As for Manifesto, here's what I posted on Facebook yesterday re my "Religious Beliefs."

 

Secular Humanism: I believe in treating others as I wish to be treated, that it’s okay doing whatever one wishes so long as no one (including oneself) gets hurt physically, mentally or emotionally, and that one person’s rights end where the next person’s begin.

 

That's pretty much just a batch of cliches but it's what I've been living by for the past fifteen years or so. Except for the Golden Rule, I learned them in social work classes from Christian profs while I was a Christian. It just made so much sense for civilized life in a world full of many different belief systems and personality types and cultures. Then when I met the local Secular Humanist leaders several years later I was surprised that I didn't have to change my basic life philosophy and principles. I fit in naturally. 

[Orbit]

Wow, an opportunity to write a manifesto! Awesome! Here goes:

 

BECAUSE there is so much pain and injustice

BECAUSE science can't move fast enough

BECAUSE religion causes misery, death, and gnashing of teeth

BECAUSE there is no lake of fire

BECAUSE we are all we have

I pledge to manifest positive energy in the world; apply my intellect to social problems; and seek the truth

 

It's a short manifesto...

[Neverlandrut]

 

 

I'd add "enjoying the moment" which would sometimes mean not DOING anything, but stopping and relishing the moment. Doing nothing more than truly seeing the beautiful sunset, listening to my friend's laughter, stopping and closing my eyes and feeling the breeze against my skin.

 

I guess that's still doing something, but, well, I mean, nothing active, but 100% focused on the one beautiful moment.

 

Definitely leaving my little corner of the world a better place. I don't have any great desire to make world improvements, but if everybody made their own little piece of the world nice, imagine how awesome that would be!

I love, love, love this thread!! I am sooooo ready for this!! Oh amateur, I can soo relate. There is a new freedom that is happening to me and I can't really explain it, except to say that I've come to acceptance with the whole earth trip. Now I really want to love,relax, smell the roses and have some fun! Thank you for posting this Dagny!!

 

*hug*

There is something remarkable liberating and joyous in not looking for deeper meanings, in just enjoying where you are and what you are doing right now.

[MitoXon]

my meaning life is to bring happiness to other people's lives and trying to help them and support them whenever I have time. I will try my best to make time for them.

[FreeThinkerNZ]

This is a fantastic thread.  I hope more people contribute to it.