The Stigma Of Being Non-Christian

[Orbit]

My landlord asked me what church I go to and I said "Presbyterian" because I didn't want to have a tiresome conversation. Am I alone in this? How do you deal with the stigma of being a non-Christian?

[TheRedneckProfessor]

My landlord asked me what church I go to and I said "Presbyterian" because I didn't want to have a tiresome conversation. Am I alone in this? How do you deal with the stigma of being a non-Christian?

Unless someone confronts me directly, I just let it slide.  I was talking to a guy yesterday about getting new roof put on his house and he mentioned that his pastor was in the roofing business and he really did want to give him the work, since he was a "brother in the lord".  If he'd continued along that path and asked me about church, I would have told him honestly, "I don't go to church and I don't believe in god."  Not everybody likes a good fight like I do, though; so we each have to decide for ourselves how to handle these situations. 

[R. S. Martin]

If you have no problem with lying then that's a good answer, especially if you have connections with that church such as past membership or live near it and you feel confident he won't check it out.

 

My opinion: Your landlord has no business checking out your church affiliation or religious background. 

 

Edited to add: I live on church-owned property. I asked before I signed the contract whether a person had to be a member. That was the closest I could make myself come to admitting my non-Christian status. I was assured that I didn't have to be a member of the church. 

 

In my case, the property owner (church) hired a third party (property management company) to find tenants so I wasn't dealing directly with the landlord but I've had close dealings with church members since moving in. Only once was I asked whether I was a Christian and the person didn't wait for an answer. I go to some of their community events for personal interest so I doubt they realize how active I am in secular humanism.

[SilentLoner]

Saying you're not religious is an option. I used to do that in my early days.

[Ellinas]

To be honest, that in itself is not an issue here.  In the U.K. I think being attached to a religion generally holds more of a stigma.

[seeker001]

Unless asked directly or if I'm not in a mood for a philosophical debate I simply say I prefer to keep my religion a private matter and rather not discuss it.  My religion is no one's business but my own anyways.

[francesco]

well I had been asked whether I celebrate christmas or not

First I said yes but immediately changed to not really, no

turn out he just wanted to give an example of family gathering event and not the religious event

hey, I'm in for christmas as family gathering event

but as christian religious event, no

 

on the other hand

my catholic friend also had an experience with non-religious auditor

his company want to use his laptop for presentation to the auditor but he realized the auditor is not religious and he is using jesus wallpaper

he got a dilemma between auditor views on him or his faith

he said that atheist views religious people as nuts

what is amazing for me is that he jumped into conclusion that all non religious is atheist (ever heard the term "spiritual"?)

on the other hand, I agree, some religious people are nuts 

[Deva]

I can only remember two times in the last 25 years when I was asked about my religion. Once in the break room at a computer class I was attending someone had the complete nerve to ask if everyone was a Christian, and the other occasion was in a job interview (an illegal question). On both occasions I said yes, since it was true at the time. These questions are invasive of my privacy, and I really don't appreciate them in most social contexts. 

 

Now, I would try to evade the question if possible, or change the subject.

[RogueScholar]

Since going from working as a clinician to working in academia a couple of years ago this question doesn't really come up. A few months ago, a general religion conversation came up among everybody in our division in response to a conversation about approaching the teaching of religious concepts. Not endorsing any one religion, but talking about religion in terms of culture and the general appreciation of the humanities. In other words, courses where looking at different systems of faith and belief are relevant to the material being studied. One person identified as being very religious, most everybody else identified as agnostic with a few who were more deistic. It's just not something that really comes up however. I'm not a very social person so I'm not interfacing with that many people on my time off. It would probably be different if perhaps I lived in a more religious area of the country?

 

Thus far, I've been very straightforward about my conclusions regarding faith based systems of belief.

[Llwellyn]

My landlord asked me what church I go to and I said "Presbyterian" because I didn't want to have a tiresome conversation. Am I alone in this? How do you deal with the stigma of being a non-Christian?

 

This reminds me of the scene in "The Walking Dead" miniseries where the non-infected humans smear zombie guts over their clothes so that they have a zombie smell, allowing them to pass by zombies without attracting attention and attacks.  It all depends on your life-situation and the facts and details of your environment, but I can't imagine a circumstance under which I would say that I was a Christian or that I go to church.  It's too important to me to be honest, and it does not come at a heavy price for me.  I also get a kick out of shocking rigid-thinking people.  If I were in your situation, I would have said:  "I am not a religious person and I do not attend a church."  The more that we are open and honest about who we are, the better it's going to be for all of us in the long run.  I read that "in 2004, 17.7% of the population attended a Christian church on any given weekend" -- that is fewer than 1 in 5.  Today, ten years later, the number is even lower.  We vastly outnumber the zombies, and it would be good if the zombies get a sense of that reality.  Perhaps then we could begin to "de-zombify" them -- like the movie "Warm Bodies."

 

[bfuddled]

Love Walking Dead! Great Analogy

[Orbit]

Ideally that would be true, but I'm in a very small town and in a new job--it just feels like to much of a risk. Maybe it'll be different once they get to know me, but for now I'd rather dissemble, evade, and avoid. Sometimes honesty is a luxury...I need zombie guts at the moment.

[midniterider]

My landlord asked me what church I go to and I said "Presbyterian" because I didn't want to have a tiresome conversation. Am I alone in this? How do you deal with the stigma of being a non-Christian?

 

Do you live in the bible belt? I live in the western side of the USA and nobody ever asks me about religion. It does help, being a hermit tho. :-)

[Orbit]

Yup, west Texas- area -the worst

[midniterider]

Ideally that would be true, but I'm in a very small town and in a new job--it just feels like to much of a risk. Maybe it'll be different once they get to know me, but for now I'd rather dissemble, evade, and avoid. Sometimes honesty is a luxury...I need zombie guts at the moment.

 

Do what you need to do to prosper, short of harming someone. Lying about your religion harms nobody.

[midniterider]

Yup, west Texas- area -the worst

 

Answer with "I love my Lord and Savior." Then when he walks off mutter to yourself, "Lord Satan. " :-)