Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

I've Compiled My Own Bible Composed Of 33 Books


zeldarocks

Recommended Posts

I've decided to compile my own version of the Bible composed of 33 book taken from the Old and New Testaments. This is a list of the books picked:

http://imgur.com/N7dovcC

As you can see, I've excised the 5 books of Moses, the Historical Books, and most of the Major and Minor Prophets; I have retained the Wisdom Books and the entirety of the New Testament. Enjoy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So, the books you keep are those that introduce the idea of an eternal hell. If your Bible were printed, it would make looking up the stuff Jesus supposedly fulfills very difficult, and this is kinda important since when you look at it, it turns out he doesn't fulfill shit. 

 

It'd be better to keep the bible intact and give it good introductory chapters to each book, and a rich enough commentary system to explain the various problems in it. Excising half of it is just an exercise in denial or misguidance. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you are putting together your own version of the Bible, have you thought about not limiting yourself to the books currently a part of the Bible? For example, I think the Gospel of Thomas would be a good candidate. Then there's the Book of Enoch which is quoted In Jude.

 

There are a lot of possibilities. Have fun and put something daring together.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Super Moderator

Canon was closed after the Lolcat Bible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here would be my canon:

 

good story books

----------------

- Genesis

- Deuteronomy

- Joshua

- Judges

- 1 & 2 Samuel

- 1 & 2 Kings

- Ruth

- Jonah

- Daniel

 

inspiring books

---------------

- Psalms (keep only the short ones)

- Ecclesiastes

- Isaiah (shorten drastically)

 

minimal new testament

---------------------

- Matthew

- James

- 1 Peter

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Canon was closed after the Lolcat Bible.

 

Teh Lolcat bible is teh inspiyrd wurd of ceiling cat.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here would be my canon:

 

good story books

----------------

- Genesis

- Deuteronomy

- Joshua

- Judges

- 1 & 2 Samuel

- 1 & 2 Kings

- Ruth

- Jonah

- Daniel

 

inspiring books

---------------

- Psalms (keep only the short ones)

- Ecclesiastes

- Isaiah (shorten drastically)

 

minimal new testament

---------------------

- Matthew

- James

- 1 Peter

I'd think that Proverbs would be pretty inspiring...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd think that Proverbs would be pretty inspiring...

For some reason I always hated reading Proverbs. Usually I cheated and skipped over it actually. I'm not sure if I ever read it. smile.png

 

BTW Here is an inspiring quote from the lolcat translation (Proverbs 1:20)

Wisdom posts on teh internets, n edits wikipedia.

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Proverbs_1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I vote for the Lolcat bible.  It was the only version that came close to making any sense.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My Bible would have Ecclesiastes and Proverbs and nothing else.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a question. What's the point of all of this?

 

You got there ahead of me...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've decided to compile my own version of the Bible composed of 33 book taken from the Old and New Testaments. This is a list of the books picked:

 

http://imgur.com/N7dovcC

 

As you can see, I've excised the 5 books of Moses, the Historical Books, and most of the Major and Minor Prophets; I have retained the Wisdom Books and the entirety of the New Testament. Enjoy.

 

If it were me, I'd toss the entire New Testament, except Revelation, which at least shows some imagination. The rest of the NT is repetitious and dull to the point of banging your head on the desk. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I've decided to compile my own version of the Bible composed of 33 book taken from the Old and New Testaments. This is a list of the books picked:

 

http://imgur.com/N7dovcC

 

As you can see, I've excised the 5 books of Moses, the Historical Books, and most of the Major and Minor Prophets; I have retained the Wisdom Books and the entirety of the New Testament. Enjoy.

 

If it were me, I'd toss the entire New Testament, except Revelation, which at least shows some imagination. The rest of the NT is repetitious and dull to the point of banging your head on the desk. 

 

Revelations is pretty much a cut and paste job from Daniel, though, with some slight helpings elsewhere.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I read the title, I thought you had tossed the bible and compiled a list of good reading.  I still think that's a preferable option. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I vote for the Lolcat bible.  It was the only version that came close to making any sense.

I'll have to read more of the LOLcat bible before I decide. LOL

I may need a Cat to translate some of it for me.

My understanding of LOLcatology is limited. smile.png

 

It comez wif praktis

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

Canon was closed after the Lolcat Bible.

 

Teh Lolcat bible is teh inspiyrd wurd of ceiling cat.

 

Read it here:

 

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

 

More info here:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOLCat_Bible_Translation_Project

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolcat

 

 

Why is this the first time I find out about this? This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. I want a printed version, that looks exactly like a normal bible. I want to give my money to someone to do that. Who can I give my money to? Seriously, I want this.

 

I'm going to quote scripture from it to anyone that wants to hear the good news, even if they don't want to hear it. I'm going to start attending church and I'm going to follow the sermon using my copy of the bible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.