Bluechipx Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I have a very religious friend (baptist, of course!) at a company that I do work for and it is fun to pull his strings. The other day I was at his desk and I told him that the JW's were over visiting my wife and I and they wanted us to join their church. Then I told him the JW's told us something about being up to 143,998 and we should join as soon as possible, to which he had the desired reaction, waving arms and blowing up, saying they were tricking me! These people are really entertaining to use subtle humor on, they never seem to get sarcasm. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator buffettphan Posted August 23, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted August 23, 2014 Oh you're baaaaaaad! Love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blood Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I have a very religious friend (baptist, of course!) at a company that I do work for and it is fun to pull his strings. The other day I was at his desk and I told him that the JW's were over visiting my wife and I and they wanted us to join their church. Then I told him the JW's told us something about being up to 143,998 and we should join as soon as possible, to which he had the desired reaction, waving arms and blowing up, saying they were tricking me! These people are really entertaining to use subtle humor on, they never seem to get sarcasm. The JWs gave up on the 144,000 a long time ago. They boast of 12 million members now, so I guess they "reinterpreted" Revelation to ensure all their members get a ticket to ouranos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 My mother has been bugging me to send my kids to her church for Sunday School. So I told her that for every class they attend at her church we would have to have them attend one class at the Mormon church and one at the Kingdom Hall; for balance. She did not like that at all. "But those other churches are wrong!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 That's really funny! "Hurry! Sign up today! Only two spots left on the Heaven Express!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluechipx Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 Here is a somewhat classic one I posted on a religious site. They actually took it serious, and one replier even kindly told me they were sorry to tell me my cat wasn't in heaven!If you are a nonbeliever, this will positively convert you to the the "Truth". Most Bible believers think the rapture will be a sudden event. I have proof otherwise. It will be a gradual process, and it is beginning as I am writing. My wife and I witnessed a true miracle the other day that left both of us choked with tears of wondrous joy. We were out in the yard in our rural home, and heard an odd sound. We rushed around the barn to witness a beautiful angel in the process of rapturing our cat to heaven. The angel that was carrying "Snowball" off to heaven, was in the form of a large feathered bird with a white head and a somewhat hooked beak. It looked like the bird on the back of a quarter. Strangely, Snowball seemed reluctant to be taken to paradise. As the angel, still in the form of a beautiful bird headed off to heaven, it stopped in a large pile of sticks, in the top of a large tree, and looked back our way, as to tell us Snowball is now in a better place! What a heartwarming sight! If any of you are still doubters, a professional veterinarian also confirmed it definitely was the rapture, but he spelled it differently, raptor, but we're sure it's the same thing. Hallelujah!!!!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
older Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 After they've reached their allotment of 144,000, they can work a deal with the Mormons to sell tickets to their terrestrial kingdom (being the lowest of the three, with telestial being the middle, and celestial being the highest), or a deal with the Catholics for spaces in Purgatory. There was just a story in the news about fake tickets sold on Craigslist. So BEWARE! Do NOT buy tickets for the rapture through Craigslist! Get 'em only at authorized dealers. And pay with a credit card so you have some recourse in case you're left behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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