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Goodbye Jesus

Your A.s.s! (Atheist Support System)


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Precious heavenly father, I ask you in the name of jesus to please send us better christians in this forum.  The ones we have are defective.  One of them wants to kill entire races of people; one refuses to answer any of our questions; and one can't even spell, despite being inspired by your all-knowing spirit.  Surely, oh lord, you can see how we are afflicted.  You told us in your word that if two or more are gathered in your name, you will be in their midst; check back in a day or two and see how many reputation points this prayer has garnered.  Then, dear lord, you will see how many of us are gathered and in unity upon this prayer.  I pray in the name of jesus.  Amen.

^^^^^^ Righteous post! Amen!

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Precious heavenly father, I ask you in the name of jesus to please send us better christians in this forum.  The ones we have are defective.  One of them wants to kill entire races of people; one refuses to answer any of our questions; and one can't even spell, despite being inspired by your all-knowing spirit.  Surely, oh lord, you can see how we are afflicted.  You told us in your word that if two or more are gathered in your name, you will be in their midst; check back in a day or two and see how many reputation points this prayer has garnered.  Then, dear lord, you will see how many of us are gathered and in unity upon this prayer.  I pray in the name of jesus.  Amen.

 

Dear heavenly father,

 

Please pardon the sinfulness of interrupting someone else's prayer, but I feel that brother redneck professor will understand. 

 

If for any reason you're unable or unwilling to teach your flock to spell, might I ask that you use your heavenly grace as well as your loving compassion to inspire a heathen to recommend a spell check application. That way even the greatest of your great prophets will able to deliberate and spread your benevolence in a meaning full way.

 

I ask this in the name of our eternal savior, Jesus Christ. For he said in John 14: 14 that he will grant us whatever we ask in his name.

 

In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost,

 

Amen. 

 

edit. Goddamnit. Doesn't matter how many times I proofread I always find a problem only after I click post.

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our father in heaven,

 

heed not to the whims and requests of redneck and faceahem, i only ask that thy will be done,,,, if you decide to allow IH or AA7 to torment us, let thy will be done in heaven ass it is on earth,,,,

 

to god be the glory,

 

amen

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nobody is telling atheists who they have to be nice to.

 

Most groups of people tend to attract like-minded people, and that includes church.  Most churches say they welcome people from all walks of life, but some churches are more diverse than others.  

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our father in heaven,

 

heed not to the whims and requests of redneck and faceahem, i only ask that thy will be done,,,, if you decide to allow IH or AA7 to torment us, let thy will be done in heaven ass it is on earth,,,,

 

to god be the glory,

 

amen

 

Brothers and Sisters in Christ. Jesus warned us of those false prophets that will come in the end times. (Mathew 24:11)

 

As you can see the great deceiver have corrupted brother pratt and he is now teaching falsehoods. Go read your bible and you will see that Jesus promised us that as long as we pray in his name he will grant us our prayers. (John 14:14)

 

Let us pray:

 

Dear heavenly father. Please protect us from the great deceiver so that we don't go down the path that brother pratt has gone down. Please help us to only read biblical scripture and protect us from those that would lead us astray. We live in the end times and only with your grace and love will we be able to get eternal life. Dear lord, thank you for sending your one and only son to day for our sins. Please forgive those of us that teach unbiblical teachings because they know not what they do.

 

In Jesus name.

 

Amen

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  • Moderator

I'm not aware of too many clubs which formed in order to unite a group of people with a shared disinterest for something.  Atheists are better off getting involved in something they can get behind.

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