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Goodbye Jesus

Boring Post Thread


ContraBardus

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It is 8:38 pm here in Alaska, and I just yawned after reading the boring shit Brother Onyx just posted.

 

Glory! My aim is achieved! woohoo.gif  In the name of the Lard I shall redouble my efforts at being boring!

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One has to conclude that the polynomial nature of one's popularity is coeval with attention preserving writings and does not branch off into varying priorities in contradistinction to the writer's original intentions. A particular recommendation made to the writers with sesquipedalian vocabularies which would be the undimmed envy of McGonagall and Bulwer-Lytton would be to simplify and not to floccauccinhilipilificate the clear and concise use of words in communicating. The honorificabilitudinitatibus of the writer would be dependant on endearability and the comity he or she would engender in their beloved readers who are well-versed in the aforementioned writers and in additionally Meyer and the esteemed writer of Fifty Shades of Grey.

 

One should constantly use, "It was a dark and stormy night" and use "manhood" to the point of saturation so the readers would blush and lift their skirts in response. A romantic sensibility in the tradition of Orlando Furiosio and Knight of the Cart along with dreamy sequences of blood on the snow would put the reader in an amplitude of symbolism not to mention a renewed sense of holiness as they recall the "le petit mort" as being the delicate consummation of the sanctified "coeur de amor". Such would enhance the anticipation of the reader on finding out how exactly does the couple culminate in marriage, using sensational adjectives such as "radiant"; "renewed"; "accepted" as they will contribute even more to the story of considerable purity. Such works can only make the delicate flower of the work of the gentle writer bloom all the bigger. Words the bigger they are can turn the work into a more immersive bible of a fanciful world of sylphs and faeries.

 

One should not write in the baldness of "Blood Meridian" by that disreputable Cormac McCarthy on the grounds of that such loathsome writings would provoke such disgraces to be acted out in our lives. The biting of Edward upon Bella's tummy is elegant and proper for such writings. It bespokes a gentle commitment to the ideals of the moral culture we have inherited. The disagreeable description of the atrocities in Blood Meridian is not only degenerate but also a terrifying lie. Such scenes in our literature has no place. What we should be writing about is praising the Tay bridge; waxing poignantly about the unfortunate King Cambyses; or writing about Hermione "sexily crying".

 

On that note, I should entreat you and recommend to you all to digest the noble contents of the tale of "Sir Topaz" in a otherwise degenerate anthology of Chaucer, because it denotes the calm and lyrical manners of a knight merely getting properly readying for a fearsome but healing battle against the giant.

 

I hope everybody will give me the ovation of sober and prim yawning because fun and hedonism is not how life should be led. We should be following the Puritans and the Amish's noble examples!

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I am watching an interview with Rod Stewart.

 

(Not by choice.  It happens to be on TV and I'm too lazy to change the channel).

 

Wow. That would be almost enough to make me get up and find the remote.

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One has to conclude that the polynomial nature of one's popularity is coeval with attention preserving writings and does not branch off into varying priorities in contradistinction to the writer's original intentions. A particular recommendation made to the writers with sesquipedalian vocabularies which would be the undimmed envy of McGonagall and Bulwer-Lytton would be to simplify and not to floccauccinhilipilificate the clear and concise use of words in communicating. The honorificabilitudinitatibus of the writer would be dependant on endearability and the comity he or she would engender in their beloved readers who are well-versed in the aforementioned writers and in additionally Meyer and the esteemed writer of Fifty Shades of Grey.

 

One should constantly use, "It was a dark and stormy night" and use "manhood" to the point of saturation so the readers would blush and lift their skirts in response. A romantic sensibility in the tradition of Orlando Furiosio and Knight of the Cart along with dreamy sequences of blood on the snow would put the reader in an amplitude of symbolism not to mention a renewed sense of holiness as they recall the "le petit mort" as being the delicate consummation of the sanctified "coeur de amor". Such would enhance the anticipation of the reader on finding out how exactly does the couple culminate in marriage, using sensational adjectives such as "radiant"; "renewed"; "accepted" as they will contribute even more to the story of considerable purity. Such works can only make the delicate flower of the work of the gentle writer bloom all the bigger. Words the bigger they are can turn the work into a more immersive bible of a fanciful world of sylphs and faeries.

 

One should not write in the baldness of "Blood Meridian" by that disreputable Cormac McCarthy on the grounds of that such loathsome writings would provoke such disgraces to be acted out in our lives. The biting of Edward upon Bella's tummy is elegant and proper for such writings. It bespokes a gentle commitment to the ideals of the moral culture we have inherited. The disagreeable description of the atrocities in Blood Meridian is not only degenerate but also a terrifying lie. Such scenes in our literature has no place. What we should be writing about is praising the Tay bridge; waxing poignantly about the unfortunate King Cambyses; or writing about Hermione "sexily crying".

 

On that note, I should entreat you and recommend to you all to digest the noble contents of the tale of "Sir Topaz" in a otherwise degenerate anthology of Chaucer, because it denotes the calm and lyrical manners of a knight merely getting properly readying for a fearsome but healing battle against the giant.

 

I hope everybody will give me the ovation of sober and prim yawning because fun and hedonism is not how life should be led. We should be following the Puritans and the Amish's noble examples!

 

I like words, but find the subject of trashy romance and bad fanfiction distasteful.

 

I do, however, enjoy snacking on various meat sausages when reading, but it often gets my keyboard and mouse greasy. I dislike cleaning them off, but usually do because I keep a roll of paper towels near to my desk.

 

To those who just had dirty thoughts about why I would keep such a thing by my desk, no, not for that. I have a box of tissues for that. I like the clingy fabric like paper towels for cleaning, and they're a bit rough for that sort of cleanup. I like to snack at my desk and they are for food related messes and just in case my dog pukes on the carpet or something in my room.

 

It's not always oily fingers mess when I eat. Sometimes I eat other things like fruit and that can get a bit messy too. Other times it's sugar coating or imitation cheese powder. No one likes a sticky keyboard no matter what sort of emission causes it.

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One has to conclude that the polynomial nature of one's popularity is coeval with attention preserving writings and does not branch off into varying priorities in contradistinction to the writer's original intentions. A particular recommendation made to the writers with sesquipedalian vocabularies which would be the undimmed envy of McGonagall and Bulwer-Lytton would be to simplify and not to floccauccinhilipilificate the clear and concise use of words in communicating. The honorificabilitudinitatibus of the writer would be dependant on endearability and the comity he or she would engender in their beloved readers who are well-versed in the aforementioned writers and in additionally Meyer and the esteemed writer of Fifty Shades of Grey.

 

One should constantly use, "It was a dark and stormy night" and use "manhood" to the point of saturation so the readers would blush and lift their skirts in response. A romantic sensibility in the tradition of Orlando Furiosio and Knight of the Cart along with dreamy sequences of blood on the snow would put the reader in an amplitude of symbolism not to mention a renewed sense of holiness as they recall the "le petit mort" as being the delicate consummation of the sanctified "coeur de amor". Such would enhance the anticipation of the reader on finding out how exactly does the couple culminate in marriage, using sensational adjectives such as "radiant"; "renewed"; "accepted" as they will contribute even more to the story of considerable purity. Such works can only make the delicate flower of the work of the gentle writer bloom all the bigger. Words the bigger they are can turn the work into a more immersive bible of a fanciful world of sylphs and faeries.

 

One should not write in the baldness of "Blood Meridian" by that disreputable Cormac McCarthy on the grounds of that such loathsome writings would provoke such disgraces to be acted out in our lives. The biting of Edward upon Bella's tummy is elegant and proper for such writings. It bespokes a gentle commitment to the ideals of the moral culture we have inherited. The disagreeable description of the atrocities in Blood Meridian is not only degenerate but also a terrifying lie. Such scenes in our literature has no place. What we should be writing about is praising the Tay bridge; waxing poignantly about the unfortunate King Cambyses; or writing about Hermione "sexily crying".

 

On that note, I should entreat you and recommend to you all to digest the noble contents of the tale of "Sir Topaz" in a otherwise degenerate anthology of Chaucer, because it denotes the calm and lyrical manners of a knight merely getting properly readying for a fearsome but healing battle against the giant.

 

I hope everybody will give me the ovation of sober and prim yawning because fun and hedonism is not how life should be led. We should be following the Puritans and the Amish's noble examples!

 

I like words, but find the subject of trashy romance and bad fanfiction distasteful.

 

I do, however, enjoy snacking on various meat sausages when reading, but it often gets my keyboard and mouse greasy. I dislike cleaning them off, but usually do because I keep a roll of paper towels near to my desk.

 

To those who just had dirty thoughts about why I would keep such a thing by my desk, no, not for that. I have a box of tissues for that. I like the clingy fabric like paper towels for cleaning, and they're a bit rough for that sort of cleanup. I like to snack at my desk and they are for food related messes and just in case my dog pukes on the carpet or something in my room.

 

It's not always oily fingers mess when I eat. Sometimes I eat other things like fruit and that can get a bit messy too. Other times it's sugar coating or imitation cheese powder. No one likes a sticky keyboard no matter what sort of emission causes it.

 

 

Oh I wasn't being serious, ContraBardus. GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif My actual views on writing is the opposite of what my previous post stated. I adore books like Blood Meridian and LeGuin's Wizard of Earthsea. It would be great if writers wrote eloquently, clearly and concisely. Beautiful words are best used sparingly. And I highly recommend all of the Canterbury Tales except for Tale of Melibee. smile.png

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I get a few far right newsletters. I'm pretty sure some of my crazy relatives signed me up for them, but I'm not sure who.

 

One thing I've noticed is that they always seem to be panicking about stuff. Gold prices, Obama's "secret plans", why the government is targeting your retirement, secret building projects for secret facilities meant to steal their taxes and freedom, etc.

 

They seem to be a nervous superstitious lot. I'm left wondering if all the Leftists need to do to beat them is dress up in bat costumes.

 

One particular type of advertisement I've noticed is. "This healthy food you should stop eating" and "why this particular type of medication could be killing you!"

 

On the one hand I'm upset that these advertisements are scaring people away from living healthier lives and are possibly tricking people into refusing what may be the best treatment for illnesses they might have.

 

I can't tell you how many "doctors hate this miracle cure" claims I've seen. I'm pretty sure a doctor would be overjoyed with a simple, inexpensive, and effective cure for cancer, high cholesterol, heart disease, brain tumors, or whatever. No brain surgeon would prefer to do invasive surgery when chewing on a pill made of grass and weeds from some South American herb garden would be a more effective treatment. Doctors don't hate effective treatments, effective treatments benefit them. They aren't playing call of Duty, so having a high kill ratio isn't a positive thing.

 

Still, despite my misgivings about these advertisements, there is the other side of the coin. They may indeed be killing people, but the fact of the matter is that they are most likely only killing stupid people.

 

I'm torn between the brazen assholery of the people responsible, both the snake oil salesmen and the publications willing to print their message, and the fact that they are ridding the world of ignorant daftness of the highest order. I can't feel bad about it personally because I bear no responsibility, though I know it's evil and immoral to do so as well.

 

I find these advertisements strangely amusing, yet also disgusting at the same time. It's like a horribly mean joke that has a really great punchline. I can't truly enjoy it, yet cannot deny that it's funny either.

 

Thus, my brain and my conscience end up having an argument, and as a result I end up being uncomfortably amused by it all. I dislike the people who are taking advantage and hurting people for nothing but money, but I also detest the kind of idiots that fall for these ads. They aren't the harmless type of stupid, but are complete nut jobs with extreme political views who vote regularly.

 

Leftists tend to have their own peculiar vices, but they usually aren't as overtly driven by fear mongering. I see no reason to believe in the wondrous benefits of honing one's chakra, nor do I find Vegans to be a particularly healthy lot [i do know more than a few], and I honestly don't see any notable benefit from "organic" foods and in fact find them to be less beneficial if only because they require a lot more resources, land area to grow, and have less yield.

 

Both are stupid in their own way, stupid Leftists habits aren't exactly great for them, but they do seem less directly self destructive and crazy than the Right's crazy fear fads.

 

Either way, it's difficult to feel bad for the idiots that fall for the stuff, and hard to not be angry at the ones who take advantage of them. I'm left confused about exactly how to rationalize between the two.

 

Still, it does give me a chuckle every now and then to give these articles a once over. If nothing else it's interesting and pathetically entertaining.

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I have nothing deep to say.

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The Marianas Trench reaches a depth of about 11 km.

 

It is not the part of the sea floor closest to the center of the Earth. The Earth is not a perfect sphere and as a result parts of the Arctic Ocean is actually about 13 km closer to the center of the Earth than the lowest known point of the trench.

 

There is a swimming pool in Italy called the Y-40 Deep Joy that reaches a depth of 42 m.

 

In Georgia there is a cave called Kubera that reaches a depth of 2,197 m. It is the lowest point ever recorded in a cave and the only cave known to reach a depth of more than 2,000 m.

 

The world's biggest hole is the Kola Superdeep Borehole and reaches 12,262 m down.

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I cleaned the kitchen myself after it failed to magically happen after I commanded it to be so in the name of JESUS! I soon will be brushing my teeth. Glory!

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I cleaned the kitchen myself after it failed to magically happen after I commanded it to be so in the name of JESUS! I soon will be brushing my teeth. Glory!

 

Don't be silly. The Lard cannot fail! The Lard did it through you. His spirit flooded you and filled you with the motivation to do it yourself. All your efforts are thanks to the Lard and his holy wish for sanitation and hatred for mold growth and piles of filthy dishes. You deserve absolutely no credit for doing it yourself at all, it's all his wondrous work! Praise and Glory to him!

 

Now your kitchen is sanctified and fresh smelling. Glory!

 

Not sure how the whole "filling of spirit" thing works exactly, I think it's like a suppository or something. Praise him for making you dislike living in filth and squalor to protect you from food contamination and stinky kitchen odors with his very long magic spirit suppository when he filled you with his love to motivate you into doing housework! Jesus loves you! Now go make him a sandwich doll.

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This morning I had a soy-based bacon substitute for breakfast.  It was deeply unsatisfying.

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This morning I had a soy-based bacon substitute for breakfast.  It was deeply unsatisfying.

That's just wrong.  

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This morning I had a soy-based bacon substitute for breakfast.  It was deeply unsatisfying.

That's just wrong.  

 

Triglycerides and shit.

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This morning I had a soy-based bacon substitute for breakfast.  It was deeply unsatisfying.

That's just wrong.  

 

Triglycerides and shit.

 

I hear ya. I have to watch those too.  Isn't it terribly boring to have to watch these sorts of things?

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I just deleted an e-mail. Now I have 14 e-mails in my inbox.

 

You forgot to add the flying bats, thunderclap, and malevolent laughter.

 

250px-CountFourBats.jpg

 

Here's a counting joke for you.

 

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

 

She gets to 69 and has a frog in her throat.

 

*Crack-BOOM* Ah Ah Ah Ah.

 

 

If I included The Count, flying bats, or malevolent laughter, then it would have become an interesting post.

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My daily commute is almost exactly 20 miles each way. It takes me 35 to 45 minutes to drive from home to work. Today the traffic was somewhat light, so it took closer to 35 minutes for me to drive to work. For living in northern New Jersey, this is not a bad commute.

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Well, today I have things to do.

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This morning I had a soy-based bacon substitute for breakfast.  It was deeply unsatisfying.

That's just wrong.  

 

Triglycerides and shit.

 

I hear ya. I have to watch those too.  Isn't it terribly boring to have to watch these sorts of things?

 

Yup.

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This morning I had a soy-based bacon substitute for breakfast.  It was deeply unsatisfying.

That's just wrong.  

 

Triglycerides and shit.

 

I hear ya. I have to watch those too.  Isn't it terribly boring to have to watch these sorts of things?

 

Yup.

 

Reminds me of a saying I heard recently in the context of lifestyle-induced illness: we spend the first 40 years trying to kill ourselves, and the next 40 years trying to stay alive.  

 

Here's to staying alive through watching our health. smile.png

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This morning I had a soy-based bacon substitute for breakfast.  It was deeply unsatisfying.

That's just wrong.  

 

Triglycerides and shit.

 

I hear ya. I have to watch those too.  Isn't it terribly boring to have to watch these sorts of things?

 

Yup.

 

Reminds me of a saying I heard recently in the context of lifestyle-induced illness: we spend the first 40 years trying to kill ourselves, and the next 40 years trying to stay alive.  

 

Here's to staying alive through watching our health. smile.png

 

 

This is my exact feeling on the matter...

 

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This morning I had a soy-based bacon substitute for breakfast.  It was deeply unsatisfying.

That's just wrong.  

 

Triglycerides and shit.

 

I hear ya. I have to watch those too.  Isn't it terribly boring to have to watch these sorts of things?

 

Yup.

 

Reminds me of a saying I heard recently in the context of lifestyle-induced illness: we spend the first 40 years trying to kill ourselves, and the next 40 years trying to stay alive.  

 

Here's to staying alive through watching our health. smile.png

 

 

This is my exact feeling on the matter...

 

 

Now off to eat my black bean and rice based hamburger substitute.

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One of my colleagues is a vegan gluten-free person and I feel guilty every time I eat something around him.

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I missed an appointment this morning because I thought it was for tomorrow. I rescheduled it for Friday.

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I like some things.

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