What Replaced Your Religious Feelings?

[Brother Jeff]

Not sure this is the right place for this glorious topic, but the Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him magically drew me in my inner spook to post this here. Mods, feel free to move it... Glory!

 

I'm just curious what, if anything, replaced your religious feelings once you left Jesus and the Christian cult behind? 

 

For me, it's been the awesome beauty of nature here in Alaska and long walks on the trails in town in Anchorage or long day hikes out in the Alaskan wilderness. I love biking too, and during the summer months, I often ride my bicycle all over town. When the very long and very cold Alaskan winter comes around, it's occasional wilderness hikes or snowshoeing. I've been known to go snowshoeing in 5 degree Fahrenheit weather, and I loved it! I was One with Nature, and it was a spiritual experience. Same goes for my summer activities. When I hike or bike, I am One with Nature, and all is right and good with the world and the universe.

 

I don't get the intense and emotional religious highs now that I once enjoyed during Charismatic-style praise and worship services, but I am okay with that. I realize that the incredible power of belief drove those feelings into existence, and now that the beliefs are no longer there, neither are the feelings. 

 

I guess this post is really about not just what replaced your religious feelings, but what do you find joy in now? Once it was God and reading the good, church-approved parts of the Bible and worshiping and praying and attending church. But, now that those beliefs and activities are gone, what do you do now to connect with Nature or something larger than yourself? What turns you on? What makes you feel ALIVE?

 

For me, it's being out in Nature. But, it's also time spent with family and friends, or with my three cat spouses. Or, it's about time spent reading an old Hardy Boys book or a Tom Swift novel that is more than 100 years old, and finding joy in owning and reading a book that is more than a century  old. I find simple joy in wondering who else might have owned that old Tom Swift book over the years or in wondering how the stains on the pages got there and how many decades old they are now. I find wonder in thinking about the fact that the book I am holding in my hands has been handled and read and enjoyed by people long dead now, who read that book as a child and then went on to lead their adult lives, the Tom Swift book from their childhood forgotten. But now... 100 years later, it is mine! And, if I take good care of it, someone else decades from now could read it and enjoy it long after I am dead and gone. The stories are timeless and the book was published in 1910. It's great fun reading about cars and planes and motorboats and motorcycles in a book that was published when all of those things were very new to this world. 

 

Anyway...unless I specifically think about it, I no longer miss the emotional religious highs that I once experienced as a Christian believer. I can remember times during worship services that I felt WRAPPED IN JOY, and I thought that if God poured the blessings down any harder, I would be raptured right then and there right on up to the Sky Kingdom! Glory! 

 

Those intense religious feelings are gone now, but they have been replaced quite satisfactorily with other very awesome experiences in the real world that have a firm basis in reality. Whether I am working or playing, I find great JOY and great FUN in living life! Even when life really SUCKS HARD, as it has for me the last five or six weeks or so (just look up my "month from hell" thread), and as it does periodically for all of us for various reasons, I hold on with the help of family and friends because I know that LIFE WILL BE GOOD AGAIN!

 

In the best and worst of times, music is an intensely emotional experience. Depending on my moods and emotional needs, I will listen to anything from AC/DC to Yanni. I listen to a lot of mellow stuff like Yanni when I am writing posts here, or on my glorious website, or on Facebook. When I'm angry or need to really cut loose some emotions I crank AC/DC up LOUD and JAM!! Right now, I am getting a lot out of this particular song by Yanni from his 1996 concert tour called "Tribute". The whole song is awesome, in my opinion, but 4:00 to 7:35 is pure awesomeness, and when Vann Johnson cuts loose with her vocals at the 6:14 mark, OMFG, I hit the SKY KINGDOM!! GLORY!! Karen Briggs is awesome on violin too soon after Vann awes me with her amazing voice. That violin should be bursting into flames the way Karen is playing the hell out of it! Glory!

 

 

Other times, I am in the mood for something more upbeat like Heart. I love Barracuda!

 

 

I love lots of other music too spanning the years from the 1950's to the early 1990's. I like some newer stuff too, but I am mostly stuck in the amazingly musically awesome 80's!

 

Anyway... That's my 2 cents. What are your thoughts?

 

Glory!

[mymistake]

I'm a lot more grateful to my fellow humans.  When I use to thank God not I thank the person who did the work.

 

I also think I spend more time with my family now.

[Brother Jeff]

Oh, and of course I have to mention Sister Margee and our glorious song "Midnight in Harlem".

 

 

Glory!

[Brother Jeff]

Good question, Brother Jeff. I'm still working on it. I'm in a recovery and rediscovery phase. I'm making new meaning. And I'm exploring and re-visiting some things that I let devotion to Christ/ianity push out or keep out of my life. I will ponder this further. Maybe I'll post on this thread again.

 

Please do post your thoughts, Human -- whatever you feel comfortable sharing. I think we all go through that same process in varying ways and at varying rates of speed.

 

Glory!

[Orbit]

I find some peace in meditation and nonwestern ideas about the interconnectedness of all life.

[◊ crazyguy123 ◊]

My religious feelings were replaced with contempt for all of the Abrahamic religions; not just Islam, like before, but Christianity and Judaism as well.

[Voice]

I found a broader perspective that put things to order.  The cult was terribly confusing, mind contorting.  I've found great joy in drawing schematics of how things like religion fit into the larger picture.

As far as feeling alive, I suffer depression which renders that a daily struggle.

[sparklingphoenix]

I don't think I've found anything to replace religion. I mainly just try to work on myself as a person and keep developing myself into who I want to be without religion. Maybe I just distract myself with goals. Sometimes when I'm alone I'll feel empty and other times I'll think about the happiness I have from friends and loved ones. I joined an atheist group at school so maybe that will help. I'm still finding my way too. In the meantime I stay busy working and going to school and trying to make life better.

[DoubtingNate]

Things like this (the last 5 minutes)

 

 

[rach]

Passion replaced my religious feelings.  I tried so hard to feel passion- to feel anything at all really- for Jesus and his church.  I thought they were going to be "my family" to replace the one I lost.  I kept assaulting my mind with the crucifixion story, movies and illustrations over and over again trying to feel love, and when I could not manage to feel love for this strange man Jesus, I tried to feel guilt for murdering him.  I literally used to force myself to cry for as long as possible over this, even though the inside feelings weren't there.  I tried to find love for my "brothers and sisters in Christ" and make myself feel like they were my "real family."  After all, I am going to be spending forever and ever with these people, and I must come to love them now.

 

God what a nightmare it all has been trying to force myself to feel what I do not feel and love what I do not love.  It is exactly like trying to force yourself to be in a romantic relationship with someone who you do not want.  You can make things happen on the outside but on the inside you are blank and sad. 

 

After all of this journey I decided to feel what I really feel in my heart.  I feel very strongly about the people of my own cultural group. I feel that they are my real brothers and sisters and I do not need Christians to fill that role anymore.  I feel 10000 times more bonded to "my people" than I ever felt to the Christians.  And I am so dedicated to doing whatever I can for my cultural community.  Also I am dedicated to animal rights.  Finally I don't have to make myself cry anymore and manufacture feelings.  I cry when my spirit cries.  I am in touch now with the spirit- not cruel Jehova and his miserable lying son- but my own spirit and perhaps the great spirit of the universe.  I have found great passion in my opposition to Jehova and in helping his victims to recover their lives by leaving him behind. 

[Deidre]

Freedom to choose. Freedom from a robotic way of life. Freedom to see life for what it is and not what I hoped it might be. Focusing on the here and now and not worrying over an afterlife has brought a peace into my life that I didn't have in Christianity. Always concerned with another life, instead of cherishing this one.

 

Just like you're doing on your hikes, Brother Jeff!

 

 

Nice thread!

[Autumn2909]

I don't feel like anything can 'replace' persay the intense religious belief I held those years. But there are things that I find more value in now than I did/would have done as a Christian.

Yoga, hillwalking and other exercise has helped me find balance and peace within my life and helped me let go of a lot of the anger I had during my initial unbelief/reconversion stage.

I identify strongly as a feminist, but unlike with Christianity I feel able to think freely and critique feminist theory and explore rather than being told to accept because the bible says so.

Also, volunteering with children and young people gives me so much more value to my life than being down at church 4-5 times a week as I'm making a measurable difference

Reading a book, being outside, finding peace in life's natural uncertainties

[seven77]

Writing. I've written several novellas and a novel in the past year since leaving the faith.

Cooking. I cook several meals each week and try at least one new recipe per week.

Ex-c, Reddit, and Pinterest. I'm an internet addict and I spend a lot of time seeking community online.

 

Generally, I spend more time doing things that I enjoy and I refuse to feel guilty about those things. I strive to enjoy life now instead of constantly seeking His plan, His way, at the expense of my inner self.

 

I haven't figured it all out yet but maybe one day I will.

[Brother Jeff]

Instead of Bible study I now read material that I find interesting. Like popular science. I also read much more fiction. I'm discovering the world anew. I am using my own mind to figure things out instead of spending hours on my knees praying for a better outcome.

 

Henry, that's all awesome to hear, and discovering the real world as it actually is, apart from religion, is an important part of the deconversion process. Praying may make you feel good in the short-term, but other than that, in my opinion, it serves no useful purpose. There is no one to hear it up in the sky, and it accomplishes absolutely nothing in the real world. Keep reading, keep exploring the real world, and keep learning! Glory!

[Brother Jeff]

Writing. I've written several novellas and a novel in the past year since leaving the faith.

Cooking. I cook several meals each week and try at least one new recipe per week.

Ex-c, Reddit, and Pinterest. I'm an internet addict and I spend a lot of time seeking community online.

 

Generally, I spend more time doing things that I enjoy and I refuse to feel guilty about those things. I strive to enjoy life now instead of constantly seeking His plan, His way, at the expense of my inner self.

 

I haven't figured it all out yet but maybe one day I will.

 

Here's an awesome vegetarian fried rice recipe for you to try. I love this stuff! It's easy to make and it tastes awesome! Glory!

 

[mikey101]

Hi Jeff,

 

For me Charismatic Christianity allowed me to release some pent-up emotions buried inside. Now I've found that good therapy based on sound psychology does a much better job. I've heard that humans are the only animals that shed tears when crying. It's a discharge of emotion inside. Many things can be used to keep us from experiencing our real emotions whether it's drugs, alcohol, sex, work or religion. I think that living in recovery and finding myself is much better than the occasional fix that emotional Charismatic Christian services gave. It didn't really address the real issues, because that's not supposed to be what it's about. Having deep emotions handled by inexperienced people can be dangerous.

[Deva]

What replaced your religious feelings? More religious feelings of a slightly different kind.  Pure reality is a bit hard to take on a day to day basis.

[Brother Jeff]

One reason this is difficult for me to answer is that I'm still analyzing what my religious "feelings" were. I'm replacing the religious beliefs with tenets of Humanism. But I've been doing that since long before my deconversion began. I just didn't fully embrace Humanism and begin speaking more openly about it until during my deconversion. Maybe religious feelings fall along the lines of "inspiration." I received a new and living source of inspiration right after my deconversion began. A real Human Being.

 

Human, there were times when I was a Christian that I was really a "Christian Atheist". One early morning prayer meeting I remember (6:00 am, ugh...), one of my very religious friends had to pray me through to belief again so I could enjoy the meeting. I guess I found believing in God that early in the morning difficult.   Another time, the Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him magically swept through the church during the worship service and thrilled the inner spooks of everybody, except for me. I was having doubts and was so filled with doubt and unbelief standing there in the middle of a Charismatic worship service in full swing that I missed out on the emotional high that everyone else got. I testified after everyone got through praising god and saying how good he was that I too had been blessed, though now I don't remember what I said or how I thought that I had been blessed. It's been at least 25 years since that glorious service occurred. I think I would have exited the cult a lot sooner than I did if I had not been able to write my doubts and questions off as tricks of the devil for so long and if the the internet had existed back in the late 1980's or the early 1990's.

[Gamecock1973]

What replaced my religious feelings?

 

Sex. Lots and lots of sex.

 

Really. Way better than the tingly feeling I used to get from the holy spirit.

[mikey101]

One reason this is difficult for me to answer is that I'm still analyzing what my religious "feelings" were. I'm replacing the religious beliefs with tenets of Humanism. But I've been doing that since long before my deconversion began. I just didn't fully embrace Humanism and begin speaking more openly about it until during my deconversion. Maybe religious feelings fall along the lines of "inspiration." I received a new and living source of inspiration right after my deconversion began. A real Human Being.

Hi Human,

 

Lately I think I've been getting a glimpse into the strong Charismatic religious feelings/experiences I used to have.  I started therapy for childhood issues, and noticed that I get feelings a little similar to back then.  I think that the kind of music and words used in church touched the child side of my psyche.  I would sometimes cry and then feel light afterwards.  To have that part of the mind touched with love releases powerful emotions.  

 

This is not something I believe is healthy in a crazy Charismatic setting.  Accessing such a vulnerable part of ourselves should not be done in a setting where there is going to be heavy disappointment.  This leaves deep wounds and becomes part of our history of abuse.  It can make a person feel similarly to how we feel towards abusive parents, we love the parent and don't understand why we're being abused.  But especially it we've experienced abuse before, we will subconsciously want to experience that abuse again and again.   

[mikey101]

Religion typically conditions a person to believe the only way they will be accepted and loved by the deity is for the person to first believe that one is unacceptable and deserving of punishment. Religion itself can be a form of psychological and emotional abuse (and abuse in other ways also).

 

Human

 

 

Hi Human, I agree, I'm learning  things deemed normal in societies can be abuse today even though they may not have been thought of that way in the past.  I've been through different types of abuse and it becomes pattern, and one of the things I did was let myself get drawn into religious abuse. I get drawn to relationships where I'll experience abuse or abandonment, and fundamentalist religion was perfect for me lol.  There's hope though, I'm not the only one and there's been advances in therapy to not have to live this way..Actually I was pretty surprised, there's actually pretty effective methods out there.