When You Miss Parts Of Christianity

[Orbit]

This came up in chat last night, so I thought I would make it a thread so we can support each other. What came up were how sometimes we start to pray out of habit; we miss being able to "give our problems" to god; missing the social aspect of church; and missing spiritual feelings. It's a sensitive topic, but I hope people will share so we can see we're not alone. Please also share how you deal with it.

 

For me, I went through a phase where I would start to pray out of habit, but I realized that that was what it was: habit. I really missed spiritual feelings and dealt with that through meditation, which I have found to be very helpful. I recently seriously considered joining a church just for the social aspects but thankfully met a couple of wonderful agnostic friends and started to build a new social life. What I've learned is that recovery from religion takes time. I was brainwashed, and it runs deep. But the more I give it time, (and argue with Christians in the Den) the better it gets.

[Guest sweetcakes]

I do miss some things that you mentioned, "giving my problems" to God. Missing that feeling you had that someone is watching out for you, that whole praying about my problems thing in the end would upset me, I was more mad at God instead of a loving person which is one of the reasons after 10 months, I left the Christian faith, I didn't like praying about things and how people would say if it's your heart desire God will answer, God didn't answer any of mine and of course that drove me mad. 

I do miss things like the spiritual feeling, the excitement in church and such then that feeling went away and tends to come back from time to time. 

[moanareina]

Sometimes I miss having a place to go where I find people to hang out with. But then again I remind myself that this experience was not mine entirely when I was still going to that place. There where people but for some reason I could never find out they where enlightened to see me but that was about it. No real integration or even friendships building. Even my best friend at that time seemed to be different in that environment.

 

Also the other meetings I went...where nice but then again they where task based. Like the prayer group met to pray. And when that prayer time was over each went his own way. The task was done and therefore the reason to meet was gone.

 

It is interesting though. Just this week I started with latin at the university as a guest hearer. I love the environment. The classes take place at the paleontological institute and has a great atmosphere. In the breaks I could go watch fossils and dinosaurs etc. because on the ground floor there is a museum that is free. It is crazy. There is a free museum and I never knew about it until I am taking latin classes there. I love the whole area and University of Zurich. It is all very historic and filled with students it is just a great place for me to be. So I guess for now that is satisfying some religious needs. Even when I was preparing for my exams to go to university I went to the central library to study which too is a historical building and I loved it. Just to be there with all those other students, studying and feeling like to do something of value for myself.

 

And now I need to do my latin...it is crazier than I thought and I am glad I have not started as a full student yet. Three times a week and each lesson new words and new grammar...I hope to catch up because somehow I was not in the studying mode so far.

[mikey101]

 

I do miss some things that you mentioned, "giving my problems" to God. Missing that feeling you had that someone is watching out for you, that whole praying about my problems thing in the end would upset me, I was more mad at God instead of a loving person which is one of the reasons after 10 months, I left the Christian faith, I didn't like praying about things and how people would say if it's your heart desire God will answer, God didn't answer any of mine and of course that drove me mad. 

 

I do miss things like the spiritual feeling, the excitement in church and such then that feeling went away and tends to come back from time to time. 

 

 

Spiritual feelings for me come from working on my recovery and in therapy. Also now that I'm free from Christianity I can explore other beliefs.. personally I like Buddhism and Native American religion. I get spiritual feelings from meditations and allowing emotional healing. It's a little like the spiritual feeling in church, but that was done in an unhealthy context, and doesn't have the substance that clinical emotional recovery has. In church it was more like, 'let's go deep into the soul even though we have no idea what we're doing'. That can be harmful to a person's emotions.

[rachel15]

I miss the sense of someone watching over me who I can turn to.  I'm just making slow steps forward at the moment, and am still open to the concept of a higher self or some kind of God, but now that I've woken up to how manipulative churches can be going back to one isn't an option, although I found myself reading up on liberal Christianity just recently for the very reason that I missed some aspects of faith and thought perhaps I'd thrown the baby out with the bathwater, but it didn't hold my attention for that long.  So it's early days .... I just wish they'd give me back that £4,000 they duped me out of ..... 

[jdog]

Orbit

That's great you've created a new social life for yourself and you find meditation helpful.

 

I find meditation, enjoying nature, music are all ways to feel "something" healing, nurturing inner self.

I really don't miss any of the church stuff at all now.

But I certainly missed things for a while there the first couple of years or so.

It does take time to reevaluate one's life and to find self again.

 

And breaking the habit of prayer took some time. And even now on rare occasion I feel that want to pray but then it feels silly and pointless.

I think I get like that when some crisis arises and I know I have no control over certain situations and that "give it up to god" Mentality resurfaces. But it's a short lived emotional slip up and I turn my mind to reality and refocus to find solutions and accept whatever it is. And I remind myself that Prayer changes nothing. And no body is listening to me. It's just a self soothing comfort thing.

 

For anyone who misses the social side of things I will suggest. "meetup" website online and you may find groups in your area who share your interests.

I've joined a couple of them in my area.

I've been quite reclusive the past few years not going out much due to physical and mental health reasons. And I'm actually an introvert too.

But I have been doing better health wise, and have wanted to make some changes. And though I'm an introvert I still want to be social at times and would like some friends. And So I found that "Meetup" is a great way to find new people.

 

It's been really nice and refreshing to be around people who just want fun and can talk about things without mentioning god, Jesus, church, prayer, religion.

I've been to a few social meet ups now and not one person has mentioned any of those things. Fantastic!

There's even a free thinkers group through "meetup" but That's too far for me to drive.

But It's good that there's groups like that out there.

[Deidre]

I miss the *feeling* I had in prayer life, when I was following Christianity. Nothing has come close to replacing that feeling I once had.

Don't miss the religion, itself. But, that facet of it (as imagined as it was), was meaningful ...to me.