Castiel233 Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 When I was younger I used to believe that being good and nice meant going to Heaven and being evil (as in murder and rape, etc), meant going to Hell. I could never understand how good people feared Hell, after all God is good and loves us. That was the basic message as I understood the faith at the time. The idea that God could (let alone would) send people to Hell forever on account on what they believed seemed ridiculous. I say again I believed that God was good and loving. Then I became more knowledgeable about The Bible and the deity it portrayed. I don’t think I will ever get over the shock of learning what the message of The Bible actually is. Rather that showing us the way, rather than reassuring us of our value, rather than giving us self respect and confidence, it seemed (and still seems) to be a long letter from a supernatural sadist explaining His hatred of us. The murders He committed, the curses He uttered, the plagues He sent. The entrapment he laid for Adam and Eve. The pointless rituals He demanded. We are not to combine different fabrics; we are not to have long hair (for men), we mustn’t eat certain things. The hateful laws He laid down such as rape victims to marry rapists. Stoning for even trivial “crimes” such as picking up sticks. He sent these revelations and laws slowly, allowing His book to be formed over time, meaning that people were born between rules and messages. Then He came into the world Himself, as a separate person, or his own son. He ordered the human family to behave in ways He knew was nigh on impossible and backwards for the vast majority. He said He wanted us to love enemies and hate families. Love poverty and hate wealth. Deny ourselves and beg His forgiveness for being the way He made us. Of course there was also the strange stories. Humans living for centuries, animals talking. Samson having superhuman strength on account of his hair. Humans (other than Jesus) dying and coming back to life. Enchanted fruit The strange wording and theology bothered me, that we are washed clean by the lamb of God to free us from a crime we inherited from people born centuries ago. That God is good despite being pro slavery and a murderer while we are wicked no matter how kind and gentle we are is something that seemed bizarre and contrary to reality The book of Job horrified me. Job did everything right, everything, he could do no more, yet God still allowed his family to be murdered, his life and health ruined purely for fun it seemed. If Job, who had done all that, was asked of him by God still got ruined and tortured, then what hope for anyone else? As I got more familiar with this faith and message I saw that the “Ned Flanders” branch of Christianity the younger me had thought was an accurate example of the faith was in fact wrong. The hate spewing, laughing at murdered gay men, mocking murdered soldiers and funeral picketing behaviour of the notorious WBC rent a mob symbolizes far better, a far more authentic face of the Christian faith. A face gleaming with joy at the death of AIDS sufferers, a face shining with glee when children die in school shoot outs. I read that Jesus (who I had once thought of as kind and gentle) deliberately obscured His message, purely so that He could deny people salvation from the curse He had placed upon them. The whole edifice seemed insane. Was He a God or a Devil? A faith that threatens to burn and torture men, women and children forever in a lake of fire purely on account of what thoughts they hold just prior to their death is not and never can be loving. A faith that demands you abandon your family, a faith that orders you to grovel in the dirt, a faith that claims all that you do is menstrual rags to God is a filth not a faith. A faith that gives you the choice to burn forever in Hell or grovel for every waking moment, ashamed to even be alive is a faith born in an asylum 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zuker12 Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 These are exactly the horrific feelings i get when i ponder xtianity. Yet sometimes i irrationally fear that im just running away from the truth that it caused me all these problems i currently have on an emotional level. Off course i realize i plunged straight into crazy conspiracy fundamentalism christianity and i didnt have such emotional problems before i tried the lifestyle. What partially made me believe was my back then extremely low self-esteem and feelings of being rejected by my peers. Never did i realize that the only one isolating me from others was me myself. Then i ofcourse felt the rejection at the hands of god. Religion just made the issue worse in the long run, though i did feel some initial emotional highs. Not for long though and soon i was bedridden with all the guilt and doubt and the fact that i could not emotionally or intellectually accept this lifestyle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Castiel233 Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 These are exactly the horrific feelings i get when i ponder xtianity. Yet sometimes i irrationally fear that im just running away from the truth that it caused me all these problems i currently have on an emotional level. Off course i realize i plunged straight into crazy conspiracy fundamentalism christianity and i didnt have such emotional problems before i tried the lifestyle. What partially made me believe was my back then extremely low self-esteem and feelings of being rejected by my peers. Never did i realize that the only one isolating me from others was me myself. Then i ofcourse felt the rejection at the hands of god. Religion just made the issue worse in the long run, though i did feel some initial emotional highs. Not for long though and soon i was bedridden with all the guilt and doubt and the fact that i could not emotionally or intellectually accept this lifestyle. I hear what you are saying and often feel totally the same. Am I running from the truth of Christianity? But then again I find it so horrific, what can one do but run and recoil in horror. When I was younger I tried (very half heartedly) to embrace it because I was so traumatized by the fear of Hell. Even back then I was ashamed to talk about it in a positive way. The whole concept of a God, cruelly making us for His own amusement and confining us to everlasting pain after we die is beyond wicked. Nothing is worse than Christianity, nothing. Not content with torturing us after death it seeks to destroy our happiness while alive. It has filled people with terror and increased mental illness and suffering on a global scale. Its only real power is fear and it jangles the keys of hell with a malice unmatched by the worst dictators in history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Well, it IS horrible and crazy. Preachers go on about how loving god is, always was and always is and always will be. But the OT is so not loving, and there are not loving moments with jesus, but they will NEVER admit that god is anything but loving and unchanging. But god did change his mind and certainly had unloving moments, so it's all bullshit. I'm glad you brought up Samson. Guys weren't supposed to have long hair or be "girly" with all those OT rules, except for Samson, who was not allowed to cut his hair, and lost his strength when it was sneakily cut off. Oh please (eye roll), wtf is up with that? And no explanation of it is given in the bible, either. Like everything else. NO EXPLANATION. Ever. About anything. Just "believe this or die." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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