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Goodbye Jesus

Are You An Ex Christian? Are Any Of You Not Former Christians?


BoldIrishLad

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Some people claim to have always been Atheist. Does that mean never in your life you tried to pray? Things are going terrible for me and have only three days of sobriety which is good compared to these last few months of drinking.

 

Someone is letting me stay on their yacht on the Mississippi and seeing the beauty everywhere makes me want to pray. But what really makes me want to pray is being miserable. I actually read a few Scriptures last night and haven't opened a Bible forever.

 

I like the story of the poor man Lazarus covered with sores and suffering and how his suffering gave him reward in the next life. The guy that had it easy and no compassion didn't deserve fire but I liked the concept that the humble suffering guy got the most comfort in the end.

 

Also like the verse that says God is near the broken heart. It gave me comfort but no I don't believe in God any more.

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Most of us on this board (including myself) would fall into the ex-christian category (hence the www.ex-christian.net domain), but I have seen some post on here who were never religious.

 

Anyway, good luck in staying sober and working through everything.

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I was raised in the Christian religion, the Episcopalian denomination.  I was baptized (at about 2 months of age) and went through Confirmation at about 12 years of age.  Went to church mostly every week too.  But it never really stuck with me.  In grade school I was asking questions in Sunday School that got me in trouble, more or less, like, "Where did all the water come from to cover the mountains (re the flood story)", or "Is there anything I can do which would surprise God?", etc.

 

By the time my brain began to fully mature (late teens, early 20's), I had rejected the whole thing as nonsense, and have remained so ever since.

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I'm an ex-christian.  Those sort of bible verses used to comfort me too, but they are just there to reel in the vulnerable and keep you in the cult.  If you're broken-hearted you are better off talking to people, at least they exist.  And if necessary, see a doctor and get on some medication.

 

Good luck with your recovery.

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 seeing the beauty everywhere makes me want to pray.

 

 

I was raise Christian, but I hadn't been active for a while before I stopped believing.  I think most people, even those who were never religious, still feel awe at nature's beauty. It makes you feel like you are part of something bigger, even if you don't believe in a god you are still part of the universe.

 

The verses you read make you feel better because they give you hope for a better situation after your recent struggling.  The good news is you don't have to wait until you die to get it!  Your decision to get sober took courage and strength from within yourself.  Recognize and use that strength.  It won't be easy, but how much more rewarding will it be to have built yourself a good life, instead of relying on hope that god might hand you one later.

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Everyone on this site, with one or two exceptions, is an ExChristian. What broke me of the prayer habit was meditation. You might consider it.

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I was a strong believer for 30 years, and deconverted about 6-7 years ago. The comfort verses of the Bible sound nice on the surface, but replace "the Lord" with Thor or Zeus and it quickly becomes silly. The god of the Bible is a genuinely evil character, and all the years that we believers really needed him to pull through for us, there was no one there. Most of us made excuses for his absence, saying things like "He has a better plan for me" or similar.

 

Preachers sell the gospel to people with sayings like "If you just begin to reach out to him, he'll be there a 1000 percent for you with all the armies of heaven to protect you." Sounds wonderful, but it's all in the mind, kind of like fantasizing about sex can bring a thrill, or a teddy bear can comfort a child. Christians die of cancers, Parkinsons, being hit by drunk drivers, falling off of cliffs (like my nephew), many thousands of Christian children have been raped, and so on. There is no shepherd, no heavenly father, no holy spirit. Some of us believe that there is something more to us than just this short life, so we have a section of the forums just for talking about that aspect of our lives.

 

We have the enormous power of choosing to better ourselves, choosing to become someone noble and good with a healthy outlook on life, and to associate with others who are kind and good. Sometimes that choice is a real struggle, especially when changing established behavior\thought patterns and old fears that were pounded into us by well-meaning people. Having others around with the same kind of experiences helps tremendously.

 

There are a lot of compassionate people on this forum. The whole reason for this website is for those who share a common experience to help each other become more firmly established as ex-christians. Many of us had very bad church experiences, bad Christian marriages, while others had a very easy time of it. But we all share the common background, and that brings us together. I wish you well on your journey and with your struggles.

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Thanks all! The part about those verses luring in the weak and vulnerable is sad :(

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I want to help others who are suffering.

 

I got a phone call from a severely abused person today.  She said she hates everybody and is all alone.I listened to her sad and slightly horrific story. 

 

She needed some one to talk to.  I felt like being there for somebody who had no one , I wasn't living life just to serve myself. It made me feel like life isn't worthless.

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I was a strong believer for 30 years, and deconverted about 6-7 years ago. The comfort verses of the Bible sound nice on the surface, but replace "the Lord" with Thor or Zeus and it quickly becomes silly. The god of the Bible is a genuinely evil character, and all the years that we believers really needed him to pull through for us, there was no one there. Most of us made excuses for his absence, saying things like "He has a better plan for me" or similar.

 

Preachers sell the gospel to people with sayings like "If you just begin to reach out to him, he'll be there a 1000 percent for you with all the armies of heaven to protect you." Sounds wonderful, but it's all in the mind, kind of like fantasizing about sex can bring a thrill, or a teddy bear can comfort a child. Christians die of cancers, Parkinsons, being hit by drunk drivers, falling off of cliffs (like my nephew), many thousands of Christian children have been raped, and so on. There is no shepherd, no heavenly father, no holy spirit. Some of us believe that there is something more to us than just this short life, so we have a section of the forums just for talking about that aspect of our lives.

 

We have the enormous power of choosing to better ourselves, choosing to become someone noble and good with a healthy outlook on life, and to associate with others who are kind and good. Sometimes that choice is a real struggle, especially when changing established behavior\thought patterns and old fears that were pounded into us by well-meaning people. Having others around with the same kind of experiences helps tremendously.

 

There are a lot of compassionate people on this forum. The whole reason for this website is for those who share a common experience to help each other become more firmly established as ex-christians. Many of us had very bad church experiences, bad Christian marriages, while others had a very easy time of it. But we all share the common background, and that brings us together. I wish you well on your journey and with your struggles.

 

i heard a podcast last night with a guy saying he thinks yahweh was a psychopathic demon.Pretty apt.

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I was raised in the Christian religion, the Episcopalian denomination.  I was baptized (at about 2 months of age) and went through Confirmation at about 12 years of age.  Went to church mostly every week too.  But it never really stuck with me.  In grade school I was asking questions in Sunday School that got me in trouble, more or less, like, "Where did all the water come from to cover the mountains (re the flood story)", or "Is there anything I can do which would surprise God?", etc.

 

By the time my brain began to fully mature (late teens, early 20's), I had rejected the whole thing as nonsense, and have remained so ever since.

 

Pretty similar here. Went to church and Sunday School and all that. Sorta, maybe, in a half-assed way tried to make myself believe in christianity. Just couldn't accept it as real, even when I was a kid, but thought for the longest time that I must have something wrong with me since other people bought into it so easily.

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Some people claim to have always been Atheist. Does that mean never in your life you tried to pray? Things are going terrible for me and have only three days of sobriety which is good compared to these last few months of drinking.

 

Someone is letting me stay on their yacht on the Mississippi and seeing the beauty everywhere makes me want to pray. But what really makes me want to pray is being miserable. I actually read a few Scriptures last night and haven't opened a Bible forever.

 

I like the story of the poor man Lazarus covered with sores and suffering and how his suffering gave him reward in the next life. The guy that had it easy and no compassion didn't deserve fire but I liked the concept that the humble suffering guy got the most comfort in the end.

 

Also like the verse that says God is near the broken heart. It gave me comfort but no I don't believe in God any more.

 

Yep, used to be a Pentecostal. But only for 10 years. If the bible helps you stay sober and gives you peace that's a good thing. If it causes you stress then that's a bad thing. I ended up not liking being told what to think and what others thought God wanted for me or didnt want for me based on the ancient book.

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Aaaah, the god is with the broken hearted thing got on my nerves when still a christian because nice and great people started to pray for God to break their pride and heart. Because they where so desperate to be close to God...isn't this telling a lot about the existence of God. I mean if you are at a point of praying for God to break you...it is mind boggling to me that those people still hold on to that God. Just the fact alone that they pray such stuff shows that he has broken their heart by his nonexistence already...

This was not long before I left that sick believe system. And I am glad. No, that verse does not at all comfort me. The Lazarus story never has...it made me feel guilty and anxious since I saw myself more in the position of the wealthy heartless person. I mean I live in a nice house, have enough food, have all kinds of freedoms, can get more education etc. while there are people starving to death in other countries, while children work hard in slavery kind of conditions, adults die early so I can buy cheap cloths and other stuff...

 

And yes, me too, I belong to those exChristians. I have been a Christian since I came into my adopting family at the age of four. I have been quite serious with my believes, wanting to do it right, being a real christian and invested especially much time and energy into it. My main goal was to find out what God's plan was for my life and ironically just when I thought I finally got there my "deconversion-process" started. So my first question when leaving Church was, what is the meaning of my life now, that I am no longer part of that system? It was quite depressing, like being robbed of all that your life has been about in an instant and now standing there, not really knowing where to go. But I would never go back again. My seventh year anniversary is approaching yellow.gif .

The verse that really comforted me was: Everything is meaningless...

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A friend of my daughter's is atheist and was raised that way in a completely atheist family (they were from another country and had no ties to any religion).  She'd never been to a church, and had no familiarity with the bible, so had none of the baggage that an ex-c would have.  I can't imagine her wanting to join this site because it wouldn't even make sense to her -- it'd be like reading post after post of fairy tales and how they affected people personally.

 

As time goes on, I feel like that's my goal -- more and more I see the bible as a bunch of fairy tales (mainly Grimm Fairy Tales in the original versions).  

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I was a strong believer for 30 years, and deconverted about 6-7 years ago. The comfort verses of the Bible sound nice on the surface, but replace "the Lord" with Thor or Zeus and it quickly becomes silly. The god of the Bible is a genuinely evil character, and all the years that we believers really needed him to pull through for us, there was no one there. Most of us made excuses for his absence, saying things like "He has a better plan for me" or similar.

 

Preachers sell the gospel to people with sayings like "If you just begin to reach out to him, he'll be there a 1000 percent for you with all the armies of heaven to protect you." Sounds wonderful, but it's all in the mind, kind of like fantasizing about sex can bring a thrill, or a teddy bear can comfort a child. Christians die of cancers, Parkinsons, being hit by drunk drivers, falling off of cliffs (like my nephew), many thousands of Christian children have been raped, and so on. There is nboOo shepherd, no heavenly father, no holy spirit. Some of us believe that there is something more to us than just this short life, so we have a section of the forums just for talking about that aspect of our lives.

 

We have the enormous power of choosing to better ourselves, choosing to become someone noble and good with a healthy outlook on life, and to associate with others who are kind and good. Sometimes that choice is a real struggle, especially when changing established behavior\thought patterns and old fears that were pounded into us by well-meaning people. Having others around with the same kind of experiences helps tremendously.

 

There are a lot of compassionate people on this forum. The whole reason for this website is for those who share a common experience to help each other become more firmly established as ex-christians. Many of us had very bad church experiences, bad Christian marriages, while others had a very easy time of it. But we all share the common background, and that brings us together. I wish you well on your journey and with your struggles.

I don't have the ability to upvote your post, but I can't see how a Christian wouldn't be moved by what you just said. Thank you!

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Aaaah, the god is with the broken hearted thing got on my nerves when still a christian because nice and great people started to pray for God to break their pride and heart. Because they where so desperate to be close to God...isn't this telling a lot about the existence of God. I mean if you are at a point of praying for God to break you...it is mind boggling to me that those people still hold on to that God. Just the fact alone that they pray such stuff shows that he has broken their heart by his nonexistence already...

This was not long before I left that sick believe system. And I am glad. No, that verse does not at all comfort me. The Lazarus story never has...it made me feel guilty and anxious since I saw myself more in the position of the wealthy heartless person. I mean I live in a nice house, have enough food, have all kinds of freedoms, can get more education etc. while there are people starving to death in other countries, while children work hard in slavery kind of conditions, adults die early so I can buy cheap cloths and other stuff...

 

And yes, me too, I belong to those exChristians. I have been a Christian since I came into my adopting family at the age of four. I have been quite serious with my believes, wanting to do it right, being a real christian and invested especially much time and energy into it. My main goal was to find out what God's plan was for my life and ironically just when I thought I finally got there my "deconversion-process" started. So my first question when leaving Church was, what is the meaning of my life now, that I am no longer part of that system? It was quite depressing, like being robbed of all that your life has been about in an instant and now standing there, not really knowing where to go. But I would never go back again. My seventh year anniversary is approaching :yellow: .

The verse that really comforted me was: Everything is meaningless...

Yeah the glorification of suffering and broken heartedness and poverty is one of the reasons so many saints died young. I see what you mean also about the guilt of being wealthy and successful and comfortable. Keep in mind though that many "men" of God in the Old Testament were very wealthy and their wealth was a blessing from God.

 

When I say "men of God" I wonder why there is so little about the women of God. Most be because the Bible was written by men? Maybe that's why God is a Father with a beard.

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I wasn't the most zealous believer. I did get into an angry, troubling relationship with god that it's more maltheistic than christian for the greater part of my believer-era. Nevertheless, I wholly believed in god as the truth, but just hated god with burning fury because of his displays of tyranny and concepts of original sin, support for slavery and eternal punishment. Ever since I discovered this site, what I thought was impossible happened.

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I wasn't the most zealous believer. I did get into an angry, troubling relationship with god that it's more maltheistic than christian for the greater part of my believer-era. Nevertheless, I wholly believed in god as the truth, but just hated god with burning fury because of his displays of tyranny and concepts of original sin, support for slavery and eternal punishment. Ever since I discovered this site, what I thought was impossible happened.

Agreed! God scares me more than any criminal Dictator. The atrocities and torture God threatens us with out does any cruelty humans have committed against one another by far. I understand your passionate hatred.

 

So this site converted you?

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I wasn't the most zealous believer. I did get into an angry, troubling relationship with god that it's more maltheistic than christian for the greater part of my believer-era. Nevertheless, I wholly believed in god as the truth, but just hated god with burning fury because of his displays of tyranny and concepts of original sin, support for slavery and eternal punishment. Ever since I discovered this site, what I thought was impossible happened.

Agreed! God scares me more than any criminal Dictator. The atrocities and torture God threatens us with out does any cruelty humans have committed against one another by far. I understand your passionate hatred.

 

So this site converted you?

 

Pretty much. It was like one day I was a maltheistic believer in the morning, and became a new atheist that afternoon. That was in early 2009 and never turned back since.

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Aaaah, the god is with the broken hearted thing got on my nerves when still a christian because nice and great people started to pray for God to break their pride and heart. Because they where so desperate to be close to God...isn't this telling a lot about the existence of God. I mean if you are at a point of praying for God to break you...it is mind boggling to me that those people still hold on to that God. Just the fact alone that they pray such stuff shows that he has broken their heart by his nonexistence already...

This was not long before I left that sick believe system. And I am glad. No, that verse does not at all comfort me. The Lazarus story never has...it made me feel guilty and anxious since I saw myself more in the position of the wealthy heartless person. I mean I live in a nice house, have enough food, have all kinds of freedoms, can get more education etc. while there are people starving to death in other countries, while children work hard in slavery kind of conditions, adults die early so I can buy cheap cloths and other stuff...

 

And yes, me too, I belong to those exChristians. I have been a Christian since I came into my adopting family at the age of four. I have been quite serious with my believes, wanting to do it right, being a real christian and invested especially much time and energy into it. My main goal was to find out what God's plan was for my life and ironically just when I thought I finally got there my "deconversion-process" started. So my first question when leaving Church was, what is the meaning of my life now, that I am no longer part of that system? It was quite depressing, like being robbed of all that your life has been about in an instant and now standing there, not really knowing where to go. But I would never go back again. My seventh year anniversary is approaching yellow.gif .

The verse that really comforted me was: Everything is meaningless...

Yeah the glorification of suffering and broken heartedness and poverty is one of the reasons so many saints died young. I see what you mean also about the guilt of being wealthy and successful and comfortable. Keep in mind though that many "men" of God in the Old Testament were very wealthy and their wealth was a blessing from God.

 

When I say "men of God" I wonder why there is so little about the women of God. Most be because the Bible was written by men? Maybe that's why God is a Father with a beard.

 

 

Because the bible was written in a time when women were treated like possessions with no thoughts of their own.  It suited the authors to portray society this way.  The early church fathers continued this tradition which is largely unchanged in some parts of xianity (the roman catholic church, extreme fundamentalists).

 

BTW, all the "men of god" in the OT were fictional.

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Aaaah, the god is with the broken hearted thing got on my nerves when still a christian because nice and great people started to pray for God to break their pride and heart. Because they where so desperate to be close to God...isn't this telling a lot about the existence of God. I mean if you are at a point of praying for God to break you...it is mind boggling to me that those people still hold on to that God. Just the fact alone that they pray such stuff shows that he has broken their heart by his nonexistence already...

This was not long before I left that sick believe system. And I am glad. No, that verse does not at all comfort me. The Lazarus story never has...it made me feel guilty and anxious since I saw myself more in the position of the wealthy heartless person. I mean I live in a nice house, have enough food, have all kinds of freedoms, can get more education etc. while there are people starving to death in other countries, while children work hard in slavery kind of conditions, adults die early so I can buy cheap cloths and other stuff...

 

And yes, me too, I belong to those exChristians. I have been a Christian since I came into my adopting family at the age of four. I have been quite serious with my believes, wanting to do it right, being a real christian and invested especially much time and energy into it. My main goal was to find out what God's plan was for my life and ironically just when I thought I finally got there my "deconversion-process" started. So my first question when leaving Church was, what is the meaning of my life now, that I am no longer part of that system? It was quite depressing, like being robbed of all that your life has been about in an instant and now standing there, not really knowing where to go. But I would never go back again. My seventh year anniversary is approaching :yellow: .

The verse that really comforted me was: Everything is meaningless...

 

Yeah the glorification of suffering and broken heartedness and poverty is one of the reasons so many saints died young. I see what you mean also about the guilt of being wealthy and successful and comfortable. Keep in mind though that many "men" of God in the Old Testament were very wealthy and their wealth was a blessing from God.

When I say "men of God" I wonder why there is so little about the women of God. Most be because the Bible was written by men? Maybe that's why God is a Father with a beard.

 

Because the Bible was written in a time when women were treated like possessions with no thoughts of their own.  It suited the authors to portray society this way.  The early church fathers continued this tradition which is largely unchanged in some parts of xianity (the roman catholic church, extreme fundamentalists).

 

BTW, all the "men of god" in the OT were fictional.

Yes I hope I didn't give you the impression that I was saying otherwise. It's just I don't see why Christian women are not pissed and recognize the damage Scripture does. People gave God a gender, called him the Son of MAN, who chose 12 guys as Apostles, and referred to God as "Father".

 

The twelve tribes of Israel were named after twelve men and there was an all male priesthood and "men of God" like Solomon were blessed with hundreds of wives. I try to think of what Christian women must think when they read that shit. I would be friggin bitter as all Hell!

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Yes I hope I didn't give you the impression that I was saying otherwise. It's just I don't see why Christian women are not pissed and recognize the damage Scripture does. People gave God a gender, called him the Son of MAN, who chose 12 guys as Apostles, and referred to God as "Father".

 

The twelve tribes of Israel were named after twelve men and there was an all male priesthood and "men of God" like Solomon were blessed with hundreds of wives. I try to think of what Christian women must think when they read that shit. I would be friggin bitter as all Hell!

 

 

For the exact reason people are Christians...indoctrination. If you grow up in an abusive environment it is your normality. You don't see how it is abusive. You just feel it and the system is perfect in blaming you to feel that way so it is all on you. Those who do get pissed and start to speak up or take up action get silenced by telling everyone they have a rebellious spirit...or label them as heretics or whatever suits best for the situation. And back in the days women got stoned for all kinds of things while men got away with it. Since women are don't have the same physical strength it is not that hard to suppress them if necessary by violence. You see all around the world. And how convenient if you have a book of God that actually justifies it all...

 

It is like in Plato's Cave Allegory.

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I was raised in the Christian religion, the Episcopalian denomination.  I was baptized (at about 2 months of age) and went through Confirmation at about 12 years of age.  Went to church mostly every week too.  But it never really stuck with me.  In grade school I was asking questions in Sunday School that got me in trouble, more or less, like, "Where did all the water come from to cover the mountains (re the flood story)", or "Is there anything I can do which would surprise God?", etc.

 

By the time my brain began to fully mature (late teens, early 20's), I had rejected the whole thing as nonsense, and have remained so ever since.

 

Pretty similar here. Went to church and Sunday School and all that. Sorta, maybe, in a half-assed way tried to make myself believe in christianity. Just couldn't accept it as real, even when I was a kid, but thought for the longest time that I must have something wrong with me since other people bought into it so easily.

 

 

 

My experience is very similar also (change Episcopal to Catholic).  As a child, I was constantly told I asked too many questions.  And like Thackerie, for the longest time, I thought there was something wrong with me.    That was a long, long time ago (I'm one of the old farts around here  GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif .)   What brought me to Ex-C was an online search for "support for atheist with christian spouse" and ta-da!   Ex-C is my bit of sanity in this crazy-ass buybull belt in which I live with my crazy-for-jeeeeezus family.

 

Welcome to Ex-C BoldIrishLad!  

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BoldIrishLad: You have a good question as to why women don't see the problem with Christianity. If you grow up in this environment as a child through the teenage years and everyone you know at least is nominally Christian, its extremely hard to see how this religion basically demeans women. You are taught from an early age what your proper role is.  Then you find out later, at great cost, that you have been misinformed. 

 

I was probably nearly 40 years old before I could see how weird my family was and how my two brothers (especially my older brother) were favored over me. All through my youth I would never have described my upbringing as abusive. It took a therapist to tell me in 2009 that "your parents are controlling" before I could even see that!  It was an astonishing revelation to me that my parents were not that great, and that because I was female, I would never be seen as the equal of males. I realized around 1991 that it would be impossible for me to return to the Independent Baptist Church because of the way women are treated there, especially older single and divorced women. Getting out of Christianity took another decade, but I was no longer a Baptist after I tried to go back and as an independent adult woman I saw how women were not taken seriously or valued as human beings.

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Yes I hope I didn't give you the impression that I was saying otherwise. It's just I don't see why Christian women are not pissed and recognize the damage Scripture does. People gave God a gender, called him the Son of MAN, who chose 12 guys as Apostles, and referred to God as "Father".

 

The twelve tribes of Israel were named after twelve men and there was an all male priesthood and "men of God" like Solomon were blessed with hundreds of wives. I try to think of what Christian women must think when they read that shit. I would be friggin bitter as all Hell!

 

 

That's not even the worst of it.

 

How about unbetrothed female rape victims being forced by divine law to marry their rapists? See Deuteronomy 22:28-29.

 

How about female war captives being forced into marriage with their families' killers, thus amounting to divinely sanctioned rape? See Deuteronomy 21:10-13.

 

How about males being given higher monetary value than females in every age bracket? See Leviticus 27:1-7.

 

How about the commandment against coveting a neighbor's wife having nothing to do the woman's actual inherent value, but rather the fact that she's your neighbor's property alongside his house, servants and flocks? See Exodus 20:17.

 

How about the birth of a baby girl requiring the mother to be viewed as unclean for twice as long as the birth of a baby boy? See Leviticus 12:2 & 5.

 

How about the creation account having the woman created as merely a helper for the man after no suitable helpers were found amongst other animals? See Genesis 2:18-22.

 

How about even the New Testament placing man higher than woman by referencing Adam being created before Eve and blaming Eve for being deceived? See 1 Timothy 2:13-14.

 

How about it being a shame for women to speak in church? See 1 Corinthians 14:34-35.

 

How about wives being required to submit to their husbands in all things? See Ephesians 5:22.

 

Yes, indeed, the culture that the Bible came from was extremely chauvinistic. Yet my wife still believes all that Christianity bullshit.

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