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Goodbye Jesus

My Other Cat Died. I'm Totally Devastated.


mwc

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     On September 10 my cat Gertie died and now, yesterday, my other cat Hootie also died, well, we had him put to sleep and I'm just beside myself with grief.  Hootie was a very special cat to me.  He was my heart and soul.  I'm now an empty husk of a man.

 

     Hoot showed up in our yard not long after the September 11 attacks.  He was already about 2 or 3 years old (it's tough to know exactly).  We had move in only a year or so before and lost 5 strays already (a mother a her kittens, one of which, Moe, would play a part in my eventual deconversion).  We didn't know how prone this area was to coyotes and were naive about what was going on with these cats.  He was jet black, not a another color of any sort anywhere on him (at the time although this changed as he aged), with golden yellow eyes and a sleek body.  He was king of yard.  And he ruled it with an iron paw.

 

     He showed up while there were still a couple of kittens left and a stray Siamese named Sammy who was very sweet and would come along on hikes with us (she loved to go on hikes).  He did what kings did and rose up through the ranks and took charge.  He then fought all on-comers.  He was very tough and good at what he did.  He protected his new kingdom and its inhabitants as best he could.  And when dinner was served it was time to eat until they'd cry out and round everyone up.  He wasn't selfish.

 

     He'd sit atop the box I made for cats that no self-respecting cat actually used, except Gertie.  And, at night, with just the eyes and ears looking into the glass door, he looked a bit like an owl.  This eventually gave rise to the name "Hootie."  A damn fine name if you ask me (although people think it's because of 'Hootie and the Blowfish' but this isn't the case as you can see).

 

     So I figured I should get to know the new king.  And when he was sitting by the door, looking in, I opened it and picked him up.  Normally, this is where the new cat would shred my apart.  There were many times I regretted this move and now that I had him at eye level I was remembering all this and regretting it and.  I set him down and slammed the door shut happy that I was not harmed.  But he started meowing.  And going and the door.  I thought he was crazy.  He then went to all the doors and windows him the house, wherever I went, and tried to get at me.  He climbed the stucco to get at all the windows.  Everywhere.  Up on the roof he went.  It didn't matter.  I thought I'd pissed this cat off but good.  As it turns out it was love at first sight.  We'd bonded on the spot.

 

     Whenever Hoot saw me he'd run over.  He wanted loving.  This never stopped at any point in his life.  Ever day when I got out of bed and he'd notice me he'd come over and want petted or just want to sit with me.  I didn't have to feed him for this sort of attention.  He'd sometimes take time out of the middle of his dinner to be with me.  I'd have to take him back to his bowl so he could finish up.  This became all the more important as he became diagnosed with diabetes and his insulin required he eat properly.  He had to get two shots a days for several years now.  He never complained once like a little trooper.

 

     Anyhow, I had Hootie live outside for some time.  As I said I didn't understand the whole problem with coyotes even though I knew they were out there as well.  I know he liked being outside. I was also allergic to cats.  But the time came where we finally understood the coyote threat after losing more cats and forced him inside.  He didn't like it but, after some initial pain and suffering, he took right to it.  He was extremely smart and did everything you could ever ask of him.  He litter trained immediately.  He took voice commands.  He took hand signals.  He walked on counters once until I asked him not to and then he never did it again (not even when I wasn't looking...he never did things like that).  He took all his training and simply did it.  When Gertie came along he became territorial which caused a number of problems but we worked through them over time (the humans were a big problem here since we didn't understand how cats should work).

 

     He helped me get through all the darkest times of my life.  The death of my grandparents.  My friends.  The miscarriage of our child.  My deconversion and everything surrounding it (the year long fighting and near-divorce).  The loss of my business.  My years of of going to hospital and health problems with seizures and all that.  Everything.  Just everything.  Hootie has been there for me.

 

     So when Gertie died Hootie got a skin rash.  These little bumps all over him.  I called him my "braille kitty."  We took him in and we had him biopsied.  They said it wasn't cancer but allergy and we switched up all his food and meds to get him back on track.  He seemed a bit better but not quite right.  Everything we did required switching this or doing that and waiting to see what happened.  His rash improved but he seemed to just get worse.

 

     He started having seizures.  We took him too the emergency vet.  His blood sugar was way off.  They kept him and got him stabilized.  We brought him home but we had no luck with him and took him right back.  We eventually took him off insulin to see if something was wrong there.  He was okay for a day or two then he became so weak he couldn't hardly move.  He went back and we did ultrasounds and x-rays and they were saying lymphoma.  They wanted to do blood transfusions and all sorts of things on the poor guy.  I became the pathetic middle-aged man crying into his hand in the waiting room that everyone tries to pretend isn't there.

 

     My wife came from work, an hour away, and argued with me about what to do.  I knew deep-down that this was the end but I'm simply not objective when it comes to Hootie.  I'd spend any amount.  Do just about anything for that cat.  I would not torture him and I saw that list of things as a torture and for my benefit not his.  That's what it came down to in my mind.  We refused treatment and brought him home.

 

     I spent the night on the couch with Hootie.  If he slept I closed my eyes and caught some sleep but if he woke up I woke myself and pet his head or rearranged his body since he could hardly move by this point.  I also got his water if he wanted that.  He managed to jump off the sofa twice.  I had no idea how or why.  But it turns out, that even in dying, he refused to not use the little box and that's where he was heading but couldn't make it.  He was holding it in until I took him and held him in the box.  In great pain he peed some blood and I held him in my lap so he could recover from the effort.

 

     When my wife got up I told her to make the appointment for sooner than later.  We took Hootie outside and showed him the yard.  Someplace he rarely got to visit after coming inside.  He sniffed the air and watched the birds.  It took all his effort.  He came back in and took a short nap.  I brushed his hair so he'd look proper since he couldn't groom himself.  I got some last photos with him (I haven't seen them...I can't look).  And we went to the doctor.

 

     Things did not go smoothly.  The catheter came out of his vein during the procedure so we had to endure the whole affair twice.  It was gut-wrenching.  The result was the same.  My friend was dead.

 

          mwc

 

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So sorry for your loss, mwc. It's always tremendously hard and painful to lose a creature that you love. *hugs*

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I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.  What an amazing cat Hootie was.  Words seem inadequate... 

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Sorry for your loss, pets bring so much and ask so little  its heart rending when they go

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  • Moderator

mwc, I am so, so sorry for the loss of Hootie. 

 

All I can say is that I totally understand the pain you are in and my heart goes out to you. I have one cat left (from 3 ... they were all around 15-17 years) that is starting to get sick. It's gut wrenching because we animal lovers suffer so much pain when we lose our fur friends. Animals just give us a different kind of love that no human seems to be able to do. They love us so unconditionally. That's what makes it so hard.

 

Keep posting if you have to and we'll tell you how we got through it. It takes time my friend.

 

I give you a huge cyber hug today.

 

http://www.winstoncrogers.net/postcard/pictures/Card352.jpg

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Guest sweetcakes

I'm sorry for your loss. :( 

I don't have pets of my own, but it still makes me sad to hear when someone's pet died, animals are truly amazing, they are the best companions anyone could ever ask for. Just remember your cat is in your heart, cherish the memories that you have and remember that your cat taught you some things. :) <3 ( hugs )

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I'm sorry man.  My cat is also my heart and soul, so I think I can empathize. 

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Sorry to hear about your pets. We've had pet losses this year. It's very sad.

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I am really sorry. Your story brings tears to my eyes.

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  • Super Moderator

I'm very sorry too, mwc.  When my last cat died a few years ago, a piece of me died too.  

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  • Super Moderator

Aw, man! I hate to hear that. I'm very sorry.

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My condolences. He sounds like he was a special cat. :(

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I so sorry to hear of the loss of your cat especially so soon after the loss of your other cat.

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You told a beautiful story about Hootie. So sorry for your loss.

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So sorry for your loss mwc. I was in one of those waiting rooms about 7 years ago. It came down to what I thought would make my cat suffer more, the treatment or the disease. Not having much money either, the options were not there.  It was very hard.

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Grand eulogy for a special friend.

 

Wishing that mere words might succor your loss. I have none of those.

 

Sorry amigo.

 

kevin

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I'm sorry for your loss, I love my cats dearly too so I know that it must pain you greatly to lose them - especially so close together. Hootie sounds like he was a beautiful cat, and I'm sorry that it had to happen at all, let alone so soon :(

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I am so very sorry, mwc.  I know how an animal friend can be there during dark times for us humans.  I'm glad you were there for Hootie for all those years.

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I am so sorry. I had a dog growing up who was very dear to me like your hootie. It was so difficult when she passed.

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Big Hugs!!!!!  The kittehs bring so much to our lives, and it's hard to say goodbye. You have wonderful memories of a marvellous friend… 

 

So sorry  :(

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I'm very sorry to hear that.

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Very sorry for your loss... there is nothing at all pathetic about public grief. You loved Hootie deeply and saying goodbye to the ones we love is very hard, regardless of the number of legs they happen to have. Big hugs, Brother!

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im so sorry about losing yor cats.Im a cat lover too and they are so special and wonderful companions,the grief of losing them is awlful.

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