VahnBlue Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I personally have always had my doubts as a Christians. I grew up as a Baptist since as long as I can remember. Had no care in the world for it until I was like 18. In between then, I just always went until I was forced to go. My mom stopped that when I was about 13-14. Growing up I thought they were all crazy. The talk about hell used to give me nightmares and I always thought about demons and how they were out to get me. All the women in the church were catching "holy ghosts" every time I went. Jumping up and down, dancing, yelling "yes lord! Thank you Jesus". I admit, I found it funny until I was about 10, then it just found it down right weird. Anyway I was saved just right before I moved. How I ended up back in a different church was because of a close friend who invited me one day. Why I went, I don't remember. I wasn't really looking for anywhere to belong either because I had plently people to hang out with who were either atheists themselves or one that claimed they were but were on the verge or the stereo typical one that did whatever they want but went to church on Sunday like all the sins they committed were forgiven and then went back to being hypocritical until the next Sunday. I started going regularly just to hang out but ended up being re-converted. From then til now for the past four years, I tried to develop a "relationship with God", but I didn't REALLY truly believe. I wanted to but I just didn't see it. Before my reconversion, deep in my subconscious, I thought of Christianity to be real, so I never completely got rid of the religion and renounced it. I most of what you could think of involving the new church I was at. Youth groups, bible study, community groups...everything except mission trips and these little weekends away they do for on the four different seasons throughout the year, where most of the church go away from home for a weekend to study the bubble, pray, east, and do activities together, which I always felt pressured into possibly going because it costs money to go. Like a good chunk. Around $150-$200. What caused my full reconversion was simply getting tired of the hypocrisy around me(including myself after coming back into religion). Not all of em were like that inside and out but a handful that were near my ahge and younger definitely were. Got tired of hearing a handful of em bash gays, like they weren't humans(again the ones around my age of early adults or younger into the teens)and like they were dreaded to be around them. Like, "oh great, look at all the gay people". I felt like I was the only one who could just accept gay people. Although I feel like it goes against keeping our race alive, that doesn't mean I feel weird around them or felt like denying their rights as humans, which a lot of the religious do. Gay people don't really affect me. Its the ones that deceive people by going through surgery to change genders and then continuing to hide their previous life by pretending to be their new sex and tricking straight people into sleeping with them and thinking they are what they say they are. Another reason was me reading the bible outside of having the pastor interpreting things for or being in a bible study with the elders and them passing on what they believe onto us. I read about half of it before I just dropped it altogether because without someone trying to put stuff in my head and making me believe what they believed, I again came to the conclusion that none of it made any sense. Murders, incest, etc all in the name of Jesus and God, who is himself(not even gonna get into that bs) I saw barely anything morally right within the bible. I had morals before all of this. As a kid, I knew it wasn't good to kill my mom or hurt others, Im just saying. I knew right from wrong and none of it came from the bible. I'm not a psycho. Two other people that helped me back away from religion, the final nails in the coffin, were the youtube user Evid3nc3, and this very forum right here. And for that I think you all for furthering my awakeningans giving that extra push that I needed. At the moment I'm just trying to avoid the church from trying to reconvert me again. I've been reconverted too many times growing up and I just wanted to do away for good. Good thing is, is that I've done enough research that allows MW not to see religion in the same lighr, bad thing is me being fairly deconverted from the new church is the need for people to try to bring me back into the fold and my trying to avoid at all costs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Most likely, there have been positive attributes that parcipitation in this particular religion have provided to you. Perhaps you could make two lists of positive and negative attributes you are aware of, compare those two lists and decide whether continuation with the requirements of this particular religion is what is best for you. Besides addressing the cognitive dissonance that you have had for many years, you should also consider the peer pressures you might be experiencing from those imbedded in the religion, whether that be family, friends or others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VahnBlue Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 Can't say there have been any attributions that I didn't already have in and out of religion. Nor do I plan on going back. My mind is made up, however I still gopet harassed and pressured into coming back no matter how hard I try. Some just don't take no for an answers. Kind of like Jehovah witness that used to knock on my door for many years after countless now. And they JUST got the hint this year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Can't say there have been any attributions that I didn't already have in and out of religion. Nor do I plan on going back. My mind is made up, however I still gopet harassed and pressured into coming back no matter how hard I try. Some just don't take no for an answers. Kind of like Jehovah witness that used to knock on my door for many years after countless now. And they JUST got the hint this year. You could tell them to fuck off. That usually works. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VahnBlue Posted October 26, 2014 Author Share Posted October 26, 2014 Damn so stern with it! lol That could work. It's just because of my personality, I always try to please everyone around me, when that's not even possible. I hate disappointing people. I just started learning to look after myself and doing what I feel that makes me happy and not just always for others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 Damn so stern with it! lol That could work. It's just because of my personality, I always try to please everyone around me, when that's not even possible. I hate disappointing people. I just started learning to look after myself and doing what I feel that makes me happy and not just always for others. Life's too short to be a people pleaser. Stand up to them. If they feel hurt by that, it's their fault for being so slow to take the hints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Look after yourself - you are your priority. Sounds to me like you need to stay well away from Christians - and if the price is a little unpleasantness, I think you will find it a worthwhile transaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Can't say there have been any attributions that I didn't already have in and out of religion. Nor do I plan on going back. My mind is made up, however I still gopet harassed and pressured into coming back no matter how hard I try. Some just don't take no for an answers. Kind of like Jehovah witness that used to knock on my door for many years after countless now. And they JUST got the hint this year. You could tell them to fuck off. That usually works. Damn so stern with it! lol That could work. It's just because of my personality, I always try to please everyone around me, when that's not even possible. I hate disappointing people. I just started learning to look after myself and doing what I feel that makes me happy and not just always for others. Well, you could soften it a bit with, "Please fuck off. Thank you." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 I like what you said about having been reconverted but the time you were reconverted, you hadn't made up your mind about religion. Here's the thing, it's different now. You have a lot more resources at your disposal, and you're now convinced the Christian religion is a farce. I was there. Mid 90s, I was frustrated with how things were going, and sort of put Christianity on the shelf. Came back, really made a go of it, but things were never the same. That first time was not deconversion, however. I'm now fully convinced, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, when she saw the wizard for what he wasn't. Once you've seen behind the curtain, there really isn't any going back. Christians will not understand this, and it's not your job or mine to convince them. I agree with what others have posted. And you should take care of you and yours. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VahnBlue Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 I like what you said about having been reconverted but the time you were reconverted, you hadn't made up your mind about religion. Here's the thing, it's different now. You have a lot more resources at your disposal, and you're now convinced the Christian religion is a farce. I was there. Mid 90s, I was frustrated with how things were going, and sort of put Christianity on the shelf. Came back, really made a go of it, but things were never the same. That first time was not deconversion, however. I'm now fully convinced, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, when she saw the wizard for what he wasn't. Once you've seen behind the curtain, there really isn't any going back. Christians will not understand this, and it's not your job or mine to convince them. I agree with what others have posted. And you should take care of you and yours. Thank you, very much. I appreciate your input and I humbly agree. I can never go back. I've been completely free, once again, for a month so far; and I've never felt so free. A brave Christian, who says he doesn't feel guilt, fear, etc; tried to reconvert me, but it didn't work. Even hit me with the old: "better to believe and lose nothing, than to not believe and risk hell". Sounds like fear to me lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M4rio Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Ahh, Pascal's Wager. Maybe he should search Google for Rejecting Pascal's Wager. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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