Popular Post Jaseph Posted October 29, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted October 29, 2014 A year ago, just before turning 27, I decided to leave Christianity. Religion was very important for me in my life before, but after a long time of doubting I decided to leave it behind. You know the story.But, today I did something I've been dreaming about doing for a long time, but never had the guts to: I shared part of my story on Facebook - and I have 250+ evangelical Christians on my list, all of whom know that I was serious about my faith, so I am sure that it would make some impact!Here's some responses I got: - One acquantance admitted that he made the same choice as me some time ago. Looking forward to talk to him, this surely was the best response I got! - Many said that they are interested in talking with me about it, half of them adding that they'd pray for me. I said to them all that I am 100% convinced that christianity is untrue (adding that I am less sure about whether or not there's a "god", adding that's also the case for ghosts, elfs, etc). And that I am so happy that I see this now and that life after christianity is beautiful. I said that I am willing to talk if it helps them on their own journey, but again that discussion is of no value to me personally. - Some said that it's too bad that I left the "good God" behind. To them I was more bold, and I gave them some bible verses about their "good" God that turns out to also be a mass murderer and has some interesting advice on how to keep (sex) slaves. All in PM's of course. I hope they won't take it personal, I did say some nice things to them as well - There was some discussion, but fortunately two atheist friends of mine jumped in to help. The discussion stayed polite enough, it's great to see that many are so tolerant.So, it was frakking awesome! I am happy that I did this; for me this was an important step to take - now I will be seen for what I am, no longer do people assume that I am a Christian - and I hope it helped others who are still doubting. I am sure that I'll have many interesting conversations with doubters and fellow ex-believers - and many people trying to evangelize on me, but they better be careful 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Way to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted October 29, 2014 Moderator Share Posted October 29, 2014 Welcome to Ex-c Jaseph!! That was awesome! What you did is not an easy thing. Keep us posted on how it goes? Should be fairly interesting to say the least. I'm glad you were strong enough to do this. We're here for you if you need our support!! Hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blood Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Good for you. A lot of people prefer to stay quiet. This kind of thing is helping make atheism normal, something that should have happened 100 years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted October 29, 2014 Moderator Share Posted October 29, 2014 I'm glad that it's gone over well for you. I might do the same if not for the impact that it would likely have on my wife and kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfrunyan Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I am proud of you, Jaseph! More of us need to come out, just as the gays have done and see what is going on with them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydisplayname Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Good for you. A lot of people prefer to stay quiet. This kind of thing is helping make atheism normal, something that should have happened 100 years ago. *hangs head in shame* One day. One day I'm going to come out of the closet to everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Great, glad to hear how it went, Jaseph! And welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helvetios Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Good for you. A lot of people prefer to stay quiet. This kind of thing is helping make atheism normal, something that should have happened 100 years ago. *hangs head in shame* One day. One day I'm going to come out of the closet to everyone. It's alright, everyone has a different situation/comfort level. No worries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bornagainathiest Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Good for you. A lot of people prefer to stay quiet. This kind of thing is helping make atheism normal, something that should have happened 100 years ago. *hangs head in shame* One day. One day I'm going to come out of the closet to everyone. I agree with Helvetios, Faceahem. This has to be in your time, not according to any 'pressure' from what you read here. Ex-C exists as a help and a resource - not to put pressure on you to do what you're not ready for, ok? Thanks, BAA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaseph Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 Thanks for you interest everyone! Here's some thoughts now that I can look back: Now that it's a day ago that I took this step I realise that there's no way back - a LOT of people know about my atheism. I took this step consciously and nobody judged me for it so far so I guess it's good. I'm sure that it is good for my reputation for some people but also very bad for my reputation for others. So it definitely was a risky step to take but well, that's the price to pay! Perhaps it's interesting if I give you some of my background so you understand why I made the decision to go public. First, I my Christianity wasn't just a personal thing, I also actively tried to lead others to faith. One important way to do this was through the "Alpha Course", which is an introductory course to Christianity. We taught people the basic principles of the religion and encouraged them to choose whether or not they'd like to join. I also invited some people myself, some of whom became Christians. I also was a leader in my christian student group for many years and here I once again influenced many people. Quite ashamed to write this, but well I was taught that people may go to hell if they're not saved so giving these courses (four 10+ week courses in total) and because I worried about this I felt responsible to do this. Of course now that I've changed my mind about christianity I think these courses where a bad thing and I feel the desire to compensate. Also I fucking hate Christianity because it's had a very negative influence in my life that I'm still trying to recover from and I don't like to see this happening to my friends. At the same time I respect them, I don't attack them for their religious views and mostly leave them alone. So my idea was that getting out of the closet through Facebook was a very effective and non-threatening way to let go of my Christian reputation once and for all and to make doubt about religion and atheism a bit more normal. My idea is not to evangelize atheism. Now that I am free from religion I want to just live my life and not worry about whether people believe or not believe. But I do feel that my experience can benefit others and if they come to me then am willing to help them and answer their questions, and then only if they are respecful and sincere - don't want to waste more time getting manipulated and haressed by them. Finally, some mentioned that they feel bad about not taking the same step at me. Let me tell you, it was a lot easier for me to take this step than for most of you. First I come from the Netherlands and even the Christians are pretty tolerant (they don't understand atheism at all but tolerance is one of our highest values) and second I don't have a family so I don't have to worry about them. It's really special that I can do this without getting in big trouble. Third I waited for a year to take this step, I didn't do this before it was my time. And finally I don't think I was obliged to do this, I did it not only for others but also because I felt a personal need for authenticity and, to be honest, I just think it's exciting! The discussion is still active, will share some interesting comments later. Thanks everyone for your support! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikey101 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Congratulations! I know it's hard to do. Now the next step is to leave Facebook. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted October 31, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted October 31, 2014 Welcome, Jaseph. - One acquantance admitted that he made the same choice as me some time ago. Looking forward to talk to him, this surely was the best response I got! I think that is common. You don't know how many atheists you are acquainted with until you publicly say something about it yourself. Probably there are a lot more atheists than we imagine because most are hiding in the closet. Once they know they're not the only one, the dialog begins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 First off, Welcome aboard, Jaseph. Fellow atheist here, more or less discreet as to who I am out to. I am not in danger, as many in some states are, people in very difficult situations, people like jerry DeWitt and others. Yet, I have an odd combination of feelings on this issue. First, it is very cathartic to come out to peple who will understand you. At risk of falling prey to the echo chamber effect, I go to atheist meetups in my area. But being on this site is great, because a good many on here are not atheists. I find it interesting, you were a more out Christian, leading studies and such. I was not this, although tried my hand at such things for a very unconvincing couple of years in my early 20s. I have to say I respect your decision. The danger with Facebook, though, is people start reposting and sharing to people you never intended it to be known. You are right, you cannot go back now, but truth be told, that was true before you outed yourself on Facebook. At your age, without aging parents who may need your help, and without kids of your own, it may be easier. But it has to be said: You were probably never accused of being a double-minded Christian. So it makes sense how you have come out. I have met a couple of ex-missionaries who are similar in some ways to your situation. It's true, there are lots more atheists or at least doubters, people questioning the matrix, than many of us realized. I think it's like the gays who recognize one another even when closeted. So long as you did this for you, and not for atheism, that is a good thing. Your own personal autonomy is most precious. Atheism in and of itself is not technically a thing. It's just a word to describe us who aren't in the matrix of one theistic system or another, and don't believe any supernatural entities are likely to exist. But you, as a human person, have autonomy, and if this is one way for you to protect it, that's great. Understand that some of the atheists who private messaged you and came out to you may well be protecting their autonomy, or the autonomy of some family members, by their remaining as they are. I found it cathartic to come out on Twitter, not so eloquently as you, but nonetheless did so. But Twitter doesn't have aging family who would only be disrupted, childish perhaps, and upset. Three's a lot we atheists, and the pagans too, can learn from the Gay and Lesbian community, RE: how to practice safer practices when coming out in various contexts. Clearly they have thought this stuff through, and many are very articulate on the topic. I personally owe them a debt of gratitude for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiyana Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I'm so happy for you! I came out that way as well (a blog post that I linked to my facebook.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaseph Posted November 1, 2014 Author Share Posted November 1, 2014 Some updates I want to highlight of the conversation on Facebook:- A guy I know who is a creationist (and studies biology at university) added an invitation to his lecture series about apologetics to my facebook discussion. I quickly deleted it and told him that I think his post was evangelizing and I don't want that in my thread - I said he was free to do so elsewhere but just not in my thread. He probably will disagree. I didn't tell him but I think it's insulting to promote his pro-religion activities in the same discussion where I come out of the closet. If I were gay and posting that on facebook and his invitation was for a lecture series promoting anti-gay ideas that would clearly be inappropriate. To me this is the same. - A girl I know send me a PM that she was also a doubting Christian who didn't have any reason to belief, and she said she was just acting to belief it all. She said she did not want to doubt and that she thought it was scary that I dared to leave Christianity, because it showed her that this may also happen to her and she feared what will happen - will my life still have any meaning, will I lose everything? This kind of conversation was what I was hoping for; I'll talk to her about this, I won't argue for her to leave christianity but I hope I can convince her doubting is ok and that it's going to be ok either way (by the way she also studied biology). - An acquaintance of mine posted that he also had problems with religion/christianity/the church, and that this hurt him a lot. He said that he focusses on relation (with Jesus) not on religion. I guess you know that argument. To me that's the same. He mentioned that he is willing to die now. Pretty shocking. He is a guy who also posts on facebook about his struggle with porn (and of course that Jesus is the answer), so yeah I worry for him. I won't respond to his comment though, I don't think this discussion is the right place and I don't feel the need to convince him of my ideas. By the way I will respond to your posts above later today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Welcome to ExC, Jaseph, I am glad that you came out as an atheist because, for you and your particular situation, it certainly seemed like the best thing for you. The responses you have received that you have shared, seem fairly tolerant. I am glad of that for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burny Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Glad you came out - hopefully everything continues to go well, if not you have ex-c to come to for help. I don't understand 'tolerant' xtians though. I was actually MAD at my family for being so 'tolerant'. I know that they believe in Hell (why else would anyone be a xtian?!) and I know that they think I'm going there (why else would they still be xtian?!) but they don't even care enough that I'm going to suffer eternally in abject horror and terror, to challenge me on my unbelief? WTF? Tolerance is a code word for 'scared shitless'. I don't give people credit for that. IMHO of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpenHeart Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Props to you - I'm sure the decision to come out was steeped in turmoil. I'm glad that you have had a largely positive experience so far. May it continue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Congratulations. You have more patience than I. Rip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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